| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:12:46 PM | How do I make my ex understand that my daughter isnt his little girlfriend catcher, we have a 5 year old daughter, and I kicked him out of in February of 2007 he moved in with his girlfriend and her 2 kids in May of 2007, he left her in I dont know August maybe and the divorce was final in November of 2007. He moved in with another girl and her 3 kids in December and then out in May of 08 and now already dating another, my little girl still asks about the first one. Any advice on how to get him to put her first?  | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:21:40 PM | Shug this is a difficult area, and unless your ex does stuff that is inappropriate or dangerous to or in front of your daughter there isn't a lot you can do.
You couldn't get your ex to do the things you wanted and needed when you were married I am going to guess, so doing after a divorce is not going to happen. Hopefully at some point he will grow up.
You on the other hand will have to be the best example on dating, and relationships. At age 5, your daughter is just getting a clue as to how people come and go, this happens by them going to school and having classmates come and go. However she is seeking her understanding about the adult world from you, so you can explain that sometimes adults just don't make good friends, and leave it at that. She will get deeper with her questions as she gets older.
Hopefully your ex will grow a clue some where along the line, BUT I wouldn't hold my breath, OR think that you can do much to change him. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:12:38 AM | | Ive had this problem in reverse with my ex . My son lives jointly between me and her and since weve split shes had three relationships . The first two ended in tears after my son was introduced to the guys , and they stayed at the house . I knew this was unsettling my son just because of his reaction . She met someone earlier this year , things have moved on very quickly and theyve moved in together . Obviously this a great concern to me because I want my boy to be settled and in a happy routine , but her reaction when I bring it up is that shes got a right to be happy and the hell adapt . Its immensely frustrating and the long and the short of it is there's nothing you can do ! I just try and be there for him and give him the most stable environment I can - and maybe thats the way you should think of it . Not much help Iknow but theres lots in teh same boat !!! | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:53:36 AM | | i am in the same constant boat with jimbo here. and there is essentially nothing legally to do. all there is is being there for my daughter. the net result is that my daugter is contantly requesting to spend more time with me at my house, which is all good from my perspective. luckily we live close enough that on the fly schedule changes are no big deal. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:07:19 AM | there is nothing you can do. You have no rights of control over his life.
The only thing you can do is live your life how you think is best. Acknowledge how your little girl feels but do not lead her in negative directions regardless of how you feel about your ex and what you think is happening.
Just live your life how you think it should be and you will have done everything you can. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:21:18 AM | | I can relate completely! My 5yr old also sometimes asks about the last gf and her daughter but slowly I think shes seeing the unstable lifestyle her father has her in so she constantly asks to be dropped back off by me. Hopefully your ex still spends quality time with her even in these situations. All you can do is be the stability that she needs and pray that he will soon grow up and do for his daughter and himself. Stop thinking living with another female will solve all of lifes problems or fill a void. Good luck with everything | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:26:25 AM | | I don't believe that there is anyway that you can stop them. I have custody of my son and his mother seems to "float" around between multiple men each year. It is definitely hard on children as well as I fear it may be teaching my son that relationships are trivial. Unfortunately in my state, unless she/they are physically abusing my son, there is nothing I can do. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:44:52 AM | Unfortunately, the courts cannot normally do anything to prevent this either, unless you can prove that the new person is a danger to the child. It would be so nice if all parents considered their kids feelings. but some are just so wrapped up in their newfound "freedom"...
This can't be any easier on the parade of children who are getting moved in and out of his house. Like attracts like!  | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:54:18 PM | | You can't do anything about it, as difficult as it is. As long as he is not making your daughter call each new woman "Mommy" , you have to accept that this little girl will have to learn how to cope with things faster then other children her age - which is where you as her mother come in, to help guide her. The situation likely won't change, but you can turn something difficult into a learning opportunity for her and help her deal with her emotions as a result. These people will come and go from her dad's life and it's sad she has to go through that in the first place, but you are her mom always so you can help her through it. Life can be tough and filled with things we don't like, it's how we deal with those that shapes our character. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:13:28 AM | | This is what I'm nervous about, my ex just brought my 2 little girls to meet this woman and they are just seeing where things go. I just told him it made me uncomfortable and that I'd rather he leave the kids out of it at first until he gets to know someone better. He said he understood. I was calm when I talked to him although inside i was freaked out. I also told him if he wanted certain nights so he can spend time dating to let me know and I will do the same. I haven't dated because I am scared to introduce men into my girls' lives. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:00:43 PM | Since his habit is moving in with the next unsuspecting victim, you don't. While the relationships are much too whirlwind, these are not chicks that he is casually dating. You can ask him to wait until a relationship is established before bringing your daughter around his girlfriends but other than that, you find a way to help her deal with the fact that women are going to be coming and going from dad's life. You have no redress with the court system because even if you have something written into your visitation, who is going to enforce it?
This is not necessarily a bad lesson to learn because people do come into and go out of our lives. Just make sure your daughter knows that she will consistently have you and your X in her life and that she should be nice to and have fun with his girlfriends but realize that if they don't stay, it has nothing to do with her. You might also make an effort to be friends with these women because if your daughter grows to care for the children, you could allow the children to maintain contact after the relationship tanks. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:23:06 PM | | WOW, I can't believe how many ex's try and control who there ex dates or sees. It does not hurt a kid to know her dad or mom is dating. Kids can deal with meeting girlfriend or boyfriends. It does not mean he is not putting the kids first as long as he is keeping her safe during the visits. My ex tried the same stuff on me. My kids live with me full time and she is six month over due in child support and she had the nerve to tell me she did not like me have dates around the kids lol. I simple told her this is an issue that is off limits to you and not to bring it up to me again. It is normal to date. I can not afford a siter every time I want to go on a date so sometimes I take the kids to dinner or a movie or the beach with a date, never had a problem with this. Dates come over to my house for dinner or a movie too, this is normal! Get over you ex he has moved on you should too. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:26:29 PM | ^^^^^ It would be soooo nice if people can read. This guy moved in with a woman like five minutes after they split up, has moved in and left a second woman and is working on the third in the span of a year. Most of us consider this turnstyle b.s. that your child should not see and mind you, I am not one of those people that thinks your kids should be a totally separate life from your dating but there is a time and place for introductions and inviting people fully into your children's lives.
If your kids are doing more than meeting the children when you don't know if the woman is going to stick around in your life then you should know without your X telling you that this is not a good thing. There is a difference between a date, someone coming to watch a movie, and someone that is sleeping with daddy. Swap babysitting with another parent or find some other way to fix your scheduling issues. I have my kids 24/7 too but I don't have guys hanging around the house either. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:00:41 PM | "How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends"
This was the subject! The point is he, can date who he wants and if the person is safe ;he can let the kid meet her when he has her. Point of fact and point of law in my state. Every one has different ideas about this. I have no problem with my kids meeting my dates. Like I said before dating is what normal people do. If you live with some one, it is likely your kids will meet them. This would be normal also. It is not a bad thing to let your kids meet women you know will not be sticking around in your life. I do that with them at things other then dating, so why would it be bad when it is dating. It's 2008 not 1940. Get with the times and the law. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:58:10 PM | Thanks everyone, its nice to know there are others out there with the same problems with their x's. I dont have a problem with him dating them, I just wish that he would maybe meet them a few times first before he would bring her with, because he doesnt know them, most of the women he meets he does meet online and sometimes its Not safe as we all know. So I would rather he be safe than sorry with my daughters life. Instead of, for instance with this last girlfriend, going over to her house the first time he met her, it seems like he waits to go to meet them until he has her with him like it will help to win them over or something.
I wish he was a little more picky of the women he dates and maybe I wouldnt have such a problem with this, maybe he would stick with one for more than a couple weeks or months. | |
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| How do I get my ex to stop having my daughter meet so many of his girlfriends.
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:21:35 PM | | My ex played the revolving door dating with my kids and the girlfriend of the moment. I have no issue with him dating, that door is closed, but I did have issues with him involving my kids over and over with DIFFERENT women he barely knew. I think that in respect of children and their vulnerability introducing your new significant other should wait until there is a level of commitment, I'm not talking about a big shiny rock soddered on some platinum, but to the point where you know that she/he is not going anywhere. The biggest downfall is the potential for emotional attatchments on both sides between the person your dating and kids. We all know this. I actually went to the extent of having my ex meet with me and a family therapist to discuss appropriate behavior and establish guidelines. Having a third party who deals with various family 'issues' really helped us communicate better. | |
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