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 thb672
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 1
Opinions on the meaning of holding handsPage 1 of 1    
Though it is obvious to me that holding hands while walking with someone of the opposite sex is certainly part of what couples do, how many people feel that it can also be a gesture of closeness between platonic friends as well and simply a sign of togetherness between two people? To me it is more a question of comfort than an indication of attraction, am I out in left field on this?

Tom
 ~ Cndn Girl ~
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 2
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:27:21 PM
Totally depends. Yes and no. Depends on the relationship, where everyone stands in that relationship (being romantic, platonic or related) and if you're both on the same page.
 dddiesel
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 3
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:34:23 PM
i like holding hands when its warm out or if her hand is warm and mine is cold but in the winter i find it hard with mitts on
 ~Duffster~
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 4
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Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:11:27 PM
The act of holding of hands is an instrument of communication.

It communicates an acceptance, comfort level and is a form of secretly saying without words, that you like that person. Regardless of the type of relationship, to the one whose hand you are holding.

But if you are dancing, then it is done to give direction as to what you want your partner to do next, so it is telling them to do something. The way in which the holding of the hand forwarns of some kind of change, and this can be evident in just walking as well, you can steer them away from a puddle or a piece of fresh chewing gum on the walk in front of you. Or if you are hiking, it is a helping hand, pulling them up the gentle slope, looking for that level piece of land to sit and gaze at the vista not normally espied from the road.

There are times when it is inappropriate, like when you are on a merry-go-round and on the horse behind them instead of beside them! Or when you are running down a steep hill at twice the speed they are, not cool to fall down and make them get hurt too.

So for every situation there can be a meaning for holding of hands, but in general, I would resort to my first answer.
 thb672
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 5
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:25:12 PM
Wow, you never stop amazing me with the level of depth and wisdom you post.

Tom
 Tessav
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 6
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:47:33 PM

Wow, you never stop amazing me with the level of depth and wisdom you post.

Is that what we call what he posts?






Sorry Duff, it was just waiting to be said!
 Sassylittlething
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 7
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:53:04 PM
I think I'm going to start the tradition of kissing people on one or both sides of their face when I meet them.

Whats the meaning of THAT?? lmao

OT: I'd have to say that it depends on the person/people. No different than holding onto a guys arm I'd say.
 TroubleAhoy!
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 8
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:09:18 PM
I don't walk around holding hands with my buddies. It is a gesture that implies intimacy and closeness that just not exist between platonic friends.
I wouldl hold my man's hand all day long though, and that would feel absolutely fine!
 ~*GEM*~
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 9
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:32:41 PM
I think in North America, holding hands is a sign of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing but in many other cultures, its not. I have observed Asian women often walking arm in arm chatting animatedly.

To a child, I think holding hands helps them feel safe in uncertain circumstances, shows affection to their best friends.
 Sassylittlething
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 10
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:39:20 PM
^^^can I hold YOUR hand?? LOL If I consider YOU to be a best friend?

 ~Music
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 11
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:43:30 PM
I definitely agree. Hand holding is not something that I do often so I feel it more of a comfort level than a form of attraction. I have to feel very comfortable to hold someone's hand. It's like an unspoken form of intimacy. It can also be a protective measure as well.
 Helen Waite
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 12
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:19:53 AM
I think holding hands, in a romantic or platonic relationship, is a sign of affection. I've held hands with friends in public while we're walking along. Or grabbed a friend's arm while we are walking. We're kind of uptight in North America about these things. It's not like you're making out with someone if you hold their hand. It just means you like them!
 thb672
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 13
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:03:58 AM
Exactly my thinking, perhaps the influence of growing up in a French society.

Tom
 christine_bean26
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 14
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:49:57 AM
I personally reserve holding hands for people I am attracted to on a more than platonic level.
 Diva_31
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 15
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:55:27 AM
I'll cuddle with just about anyone...some gal pals hold hands...but mostly hand holding is for romantic partners.
 easyguy71
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 16
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Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/3/2008 2:07:11 PM
As lurker states, holding hands is just a sign of "I like you". In the western community it seems to take on new meaning, but coming from a French and Eastern culture, holding hands didn't mean much beyond a recognition of someone being special or important to you, not that you "Loved them". Same goes for the kissing on the cheeks or on the lips. Not deep kissing, just a sign of the importance and friendship or connection you feel with someone. Cheek kissing is reserved for a greeting.

It's a way to show connection, caring and a happiness that someone is sharing a part of their day and you appreciate that in your life. I have a hard time out here with jealous hubby looks because of it, but once they see it's platonic, and that my wife will give them the same greeting with no jealousy from me, it just becomes a quirk that's accepted and sometimes welcomed. People need to learn how to connect with each other in some form. There are degrees of intimacy, and that's for each person to choose, but losing touch with the world is not making it a better place.
 halofork
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 17
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:48:50 PM
Aside from what everyone has mentioned, here's my hand-holding evolution with my sister:

She's several years younger than me, so everytime we were out of the house when we were much younger, I'd hold her hand. I remember the time when she was lost in a bookstore - the distraught look on her face made me vow never to see that again.

Then as she grew up, we became best friends as we are very close in personality. We continue to hold hands as we're so used to it. Now that she has a boyfriend's hand to hold, I wonder if she'll remember to hold mine next time I visit

As for someone of the opposite sex, I will only hold my s/o's hand, not a best friend's. But that's mainly because I don't have a male best friend, and I don't know if I'll ever hold his hand if I have a male best friend.
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:20:47 PM
I will only hold my date/boyfriend's hand.

My kids are old enough that we link arms as opposed to hand holding.

I will place my hand in the crook of a friend's arm though (male or female... depending on the situation.)
 Alluria
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 19
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:34:31 PM
I am a hand holder for sure - this isn't something I reserve for my significant other...this is something I do with my close friends. I am also a hugger of helloooos and a hugger of goodbyes and I also am a cheek kisser from time to time - all with both platonic and romantic partners.

I believe that contact is important for people and given my background in massage...well...yeah - I like to lay my hands on the people I care about.
 Zoe_1
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 20
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Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:54:32 PM
I am a hand holder from way back, started holding hands with my parents, dates, children, grandparents, again dates and now again my mom. To me it is a sense of friendship and probably now - so that I will not get lost :)
 Ms.Mermaid
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 21
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:59:45 PM
ditto what zoe 1 said, along with some others on here....I like to grab everyones hands....but I am also a hugger....just a very affectionate person, probably receiving in my adulthood what I missed in my childhood.... and I too hate to get lost, especially in a crowd! lol...
 Tessav
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 22
Opinions on the meaning of holding hands
Posted: 9/4/2008 4:34:55 PM
I'm with Nancy Babe. I will occasionally take a friend's hand for a moment, but holding hands is for an s/o, or small children.

I do sometimes place my hand on, or through, a friends arm while we are walking. That's my platonic affection thing. Also a hugger and kisser with people I like and will sometimes stand arm in arm holding a conversation with a friend.
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