| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:37:15 AM | I am deleting my profile b/c of receiving too many inappropriate messages and sexual invites from men I do not even know.
I am very diappointed b/c I did come here as a last resort and full of a bit of hope for the possibility of meeting a decent men to have a friendship with, then maybe see where it went from there.
I leave this site worrying that there are not any good ones left out there and not too many men who want to engage in the dance that comes before they get the right to tango.
What a shame.
Good luck to everyone else. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:42:11 AM | Sunset Rosie, that's a shame, but you know you have to suffer the bad in order to appreciate the good when it finally happens. I'd say try it a little longer and learn to rise above the idiots. Basically they're just miserable people and the thing that miserable people love most is to go around making everyone else as miserable as they are. I've said it many times but I'll say it again, they can only make you miserable if you let them. Whatever you decide though all the best to you  | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:48:45 AM | Don't take this the wrong way but your profile wreeks with "sexual invites" prefer not to say/marital status, prefer not to say/children Non discriptive all the way through.
Not even a city....What are YOU up too....... | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:53:27 AM | | Oops, I hadn't looked at the profile. If that's the case then I'd say maybe you need to look a little at what you're portraying before you complain that men aren't taking you seriously. Sorry OP, don't mean to be mean, but people can only judge by what you put forward. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:28:50 AM | I too had deleted a profile because of the buffoons.My profile was filled out and the appropriate boxes ticked.Seems there's men who don't bother reading anything in the profiles,they just embark on a mass emailing looking for sex partners.
There was one in particular why I deleted my account though,because his profile was seeking "long term"and he waxed poetic on how he was looking for his other half blah blah blah.It was very well written and if one came across his ad,one might think they found a keeper.
Well,out of the blue,he sends me a very vulgar message that was even a bit hateful.I don't know him,had never had any correspondance with him,and had never even posted in the forums at that point.
I did report him to admin,and then deleted my profile.
On the surface it might appear I deleted my profile because of one person's actions.
That was simply the straw that broke the camel's back.The emails I was getting gave me cause for concern that men in my age range were just looking to "use it before they lose it"...
I do like this site for the forums,so I put up another profile.Still me,but unfortunately I felt the need to reword it a bit ot attempt to stave off the hounds.So far,so good.I don't like the negativity of my current ad and hopefully I will find better wording that will continue to be effective.(or at least more effective than my original profile was) | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 10:48:56 AM | Well...I responded to someone else in this situation in another thread...(I bet there's thousands of them...some even come back after they say they wouldn't) and well I'll say it again...
Just like in real life, their are good people and bad people and it's up to you to figure out who to talk to and who to stay away from...It's all at your discretion...I wouldn't throw my t.v. out because there is something inappropriate on one station...I'd just change the channel...(I know, not the greatest analogy, but at least you will get what I am driving at...)
Good luck in your future pursuits for a dance partner...
Now who stole the last spoon of mashed potatoes?!!! I know you're out there dammit!... | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:25:43 AM | | If everyone had received appropriate messages, there wouldn't be so many people who have stayed here for years. Be patient and be positive! It's at least not a bad thing that those who sent you messages were interested in you. At some point, maybe those who sent you messages lacked self-awareness. At another point, you may lack self-awareness as well. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:46:31 AM |
I leave this site worrying that there are not any good ones left out there and not too many men who want to engage in the dance that comes before they get the right to tango
Reading your profile, you not only omit valuable information, you dont seem too interested in putting anything interesting in thier either.
As far as good ones out there, yeah, there are good ones out there... Maybe you should reconsider what you may have already passed up. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:51:17 AM | I nearly deleted my profile after a rather nasty bloke on here took it upon himself to be a bunny boiler, yes even men can be those... i have even had a final warning and not sure why, but have complained..
some messages that i have received do not even say hi, these blokes launch straight into sexual content even on instant messenger.... i feel as the site is free that it is not monitored enough to see exactly what and who is on it..
But to those women out there think about your profile and put exactly what u want from this experience... i know i have...then look out for the players.......
good luck girls there are some nice ones out there | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:06:09 PM | uhm thats what block is for? Don't let some hoser run you off, because then he wins. I've even went out with a couple of sh*t monkeys. Come-on this is an adult dating site, and free. You get what you pay for. You have to go through the toads to get to the prince. I have met some really nice people from here as well. Made friends. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:12:14 PM | Report these individuals to the administrators of this site-if they are that inappropriate, they are not fit to be here!
Everyone deserves respect and if the approach isn't respectful! Get the bums out! | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:27:54 PM | That's why there is a block/delete feature.
As others have said if you have a vague profile with no restrictions then you will get email from the weirdos.
Here's another idea:hide your profile and email men who you are interested in,they are the only ones that can see your profile. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:32:15 PM | Op.. a little constructive criticism - you need to take some time and revamp your profile. "Prefer Not To Say" leaves too much to the imagination. Your profile in a sense is your one chance to introduce yourself to total strangers. Look at your profile as it is and put yourself in a guy's place.. what is it saying to you?
If you truly want to stay on POF then I would suggest you redo your profile. Make a good impression! There are so many quality people here to attract - your profile is the first impression you make on the reader. Use the restriction filters..
I've been a member of POF for two years and have gotten only one inappropriate message. I blocked the guy from contacting me again. It's a good tool to use for that purpose. Thankfully I've only had to use it once for that reason.
Hope I've been helpful to you.. Good luck. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:51:21 PM | I am unsurprised,given your profile, OP. I must agree with the fair and lovely Dreamer. The biggest red flag is that your marital status is set to "prefer not to say." That could mean you're married, for example. Certainly anyone who is married who puts forth a profile here could expect "inappropriate" messages. The other "prefer not to say" responses are not helping you very much. To me this is the virtual equivalent of putting a "Kick Me" sign on your own back and wondering why everyone's kicking you. Take off the sign!
I suggest you heed the many suggestions here to redo your profile. Imagine yourself meeting someone, say, at a dance, or even in an interview session, or . What would your answers be? Everybody's got something to hide ('cept for me and my monkey, thank you John Lennon), but do we really want to hide the basics? | |
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Pers14
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:11:15 PM | I find that if you're straightforward about what you want and don't want - you get bothered less. You have a lot of 'prefers not to say' on relatively simple questions - ambiguousness invites unwanted attention I suppose. Don't delete the profile - work on it, grow a tougher skin, and maybe you'll find someone great.
I was really sensitive when I first started on PoF - I up and deleted my account because I just was not ready to date. I came back six months later with a better attitude about dating a rejection, and I've learned a lot about dating and relationships from PoF. :) Good luck! | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:44:28 PM |
I leave this site worrying that there are not any good ones left out there and not too many men who want to engage in the dance that comes before they get the right to tango.
I am sorry but there are many good ones out here and on other sites. If you have had this problem on other sites, then you might be the problem. I have been on a few other sites. I have never ran into this problem. I also know it is not because of my looks, since they are fine. I also am new back to POF yet this is where I started and this place feels like home to me.
I believe there will always be a very few that will say and inappropriate things as in real life. I also believe very strongly what you project is what you will get back in this world.
Since your mind is made up and you have already started butchering your profile I wish you well. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:45:28 PM | ^^^^ ditto and well said.
Two days later and her profile isn 't deleted. I'd make some comment about wishy-washy people and saying what you mean, but that might be considered insulting and heaven forbid I should insult someone; so I'll just keep those thoughts to myself.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
It so irks me when a woman complains about the email she gets when her profile invites it. What do you people expect?
I'm afraid I have to disagree with the poster who thinks everyone deserves respect. If you don't respect yourself, if you put questional photographs on your profile (I always wonder who's holding the camera in those pics looking down your shirts), if you speak in double entendres, if you make yourself look like a slut and lead people on with your words, you don't deserve ANY respect. Just my opinion, of course.
Each type of fish responds to a specific kind of bait. If you're using the wrong bait, you're going to be catching the wrong fish. Think about it. | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:17:52 PM | Women get plenty of vile email here *even* when their profiles in no way deserve it. Just *being new* brings out the slime. It does diminish greatly over time. Trick is to get the newbies to stay long enough to learn the ropes, find the block buttons, and have a few decent experiences.
The one that helped me the most till it stopped was the 300 character minimum on incoming email. The sleazy just don't want to work that hard ,lol!
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:06:15 PM | Hi Rosie,
Sorry to hear you are leaving with bad feelings. What is the alternative or where do you go from here?
We all have to weed our garden for it to grow. We all have to work at it in order for it to grow and to reap it's rewards. Weeding is very difficult in the early stages because it's difficult to tell the difference between the weeds and the actual plants. They all look so much the same, but here's a tip. The real plants have shiny leaves while the weed leaves are dull and do not reflect light. Very much like people but it takes time to figure out which is which.
I learned a long time ago that by walking out of a situation in frustration , I learned or gained absolutely nothing.
Do you think that the perverts that have been hitting on you care if you delete your profile? Not in the least. Who loses here and who wins if you delete your profile?
They win and you lose because they could care less if you leave: on the other hand, you might be cheating yourself out of meeting the love of your life because you are barring yourself from the real world. I would recommend you stay but if not, good luck in your future endeavours. In closing, please disregard the people who made negative comments about how you feel. Pull them out of your garden and watch your garden grow. Good luck in your search for happiness whatever you decide . | |
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| Deleting profile b/c of inappropriate messages from men
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:10:00 PM | Frankly, I'm surprised you got any kind of response from that profile. It says nothing.
You must have had a very appealing photo!! Bottom line, finding MR. Right takes time and a tough exterior.....same for the guys. If you aren't willing to put out the effort....it's best for you to move on.
Becca | |
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