| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:35:15 AM | okay, here goes the preceding question about the following
do you care, not care or sort of care, about who your man has been with before you both dating, romanticaly, and sexually.
or you really dont mind about the past as long as he is only with you exclusively while he is with you
i guess the last part goes without saying
reason for this question
i was watching "gene simmons family jewels" and it was the lie detector test episode
and adam carolla was saying that women dont care who was in the past just the present is what matters
got me to thinking if it was true or not
okay ladies reply away please | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:50:37 AM | | As long as it wasn't someone who was criminally insane and stalking him or someone who might have given him a disease I wouldn't care. Why should I? We all have past lovers. So, as long as his previous women aren't ones that would put my or his health and safety in jeopardy it is his business. Just as my past lovers are my business. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:51:02 AM | | I will be interested in your past, because it's part of what makes you who you are. But I won't necessarily use that information to try to predict how we'll do because you've never dated me before. People often do establish patterns in their relationships, but sometimes a change in the dynamics changes everything. Hope this makes sense. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:56:04 AM | | This will sound crazy to most of you, but if I knew a guy had been with someone, whom if I was a guy, I wouldn't sleep with, then YES.. It would totally effect me.. May be shallow, but I have my beliefs and so does everyone else. I would probably just prefer not to know and leave the past in the past. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:58:14 AM | Yes, I care about who a man has socialized with in the past.
Especially if he's previously taken up company with a dirty whore who might have given him 'a gift that keeps on giving'. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:20:13 PM | | I'd care about his behaviour towards them and the way he spoke about them -- whether he was sincere, caring and respectful, whether he took a good share of the responsibility for things not working out... Who they were - not so much - we're attracted to different types and we mature and flounder about and get misled and deceive ourselves and get bouts of wishful thinking. On the other hand, if he was attracted to an ex because she was X, Y and Z and I wasn't any of those things, I might be wondering how much he really liked me and whether I was a rebound/experiment for him, or whether he'd actually stopped valuing X, Y and Z. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:22:46 PM | Well I think that the choices you have made in the past speak a lot about your values and the person you are or have become. Some people change completely and most don't.
Knowing the past of someone can give you a heads up on what to expect in the future. But in order for you to judge accurately you have to know why the person made those choices or else you may stereotype them and sell yourself short.
Of course nothing is more important than the present situation.
Also as far as his sexual past, was he with a man? because if he was I may question his interest in me. Was he with 100 women? A lot of these things matter but I guess it doesn't matter more than the test results:) | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:21:22 PM | I personally don't need to know. I could care less and am not jealous of past relationships. They're in the past and good or bad ... they're history. As long as he leaves them in the past ... no problem.
If it's his ex and he has children with her ... then she will always be a part of his life when the children are around, but as long as he's done with her and comes home to me ... who cares? | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:37:32 PM | I donate blood from time to time. And one of the things that can get you banned from donating blood for life is being sexually active with a man who has had oral sex with another man at least once.
So I wish I could say no, but the stupid blood donation rules are holding my arms here. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:29:57 PM | | Yes, I'd want to know, certainly about anything that might affect my health and well-being too. Most importantly, though, I'd want the guy to trust me enough to tell me about his previous relationships. Maybe not all at once, maybe gradually, but certainly not withholding his history. If I felt he was hiding anything or avoiding talking about it when it might be appropriate, then it would start to bother me. Cases where it might be appropriate for him to say more might be if I told him about a previous affair and how it had affected me. If he had a similar experience, then I'd want him to volunteer that. I wouldn't expect it, but would want him to feel he was able to talk about it and share with me. It's just a question of feeling we are both being equally revealing and equally vulnerable in that respect. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:13:19 PM | Sometimes i wonder how the hell he could have been with such a loser of a woman, and it may momentarily cause me to wonder whether he has any common sense...Then i remember the crap i put up with from my ex and think that he probably wonders the same thing....lol
But i have heard of people who once they find out their partner was once in a relationship with someone "they" don't consider a "good enough standard", they have dumped the partner because they'd been with a "lesser" person .... as if it somehow devalued them. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:30:29 PM | I care about specific factoids.
Not necessarily numeric value. If he has ever been with another man, or even thought about it, that is instant dismissal. Criminal record, long history of abusive relationships, IV drug user or if he is bi-polar. Those are the things I watch out for. There are many red flags, based on each situation. I'm pretty keen on reading signals and behavior patterns~ the good, the bad and the ugly will surface sooner or later. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:39:05 PM | | Admittedly, there are a few that would make me angry to find out about, but those are very specific women that I've had a few run-ins with. The women I'm thinking off are completely brain dead, and I would have a hard time respecting a guy that doesn't mind a brainless girl. The other is the woman my ex ran off with. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:54:54 PM | I care, but to a certain extent... Would it deter me from being with the man? That's another question.. LOL
The choices a man makes while in his thirties and up can speak volumes about him as a person. Some questons going through mind would be: Was he ever a player? Is he still a player? Was he stupid enough to play without protection? Would I have to pay for his past mistakes when I am with him?
Now would I ever date a player? Of course I would and so would most women on this site. Player types typically have a great deal of confidence and are flirts by nature and vulnerable women can become putty in their hands... and most of us are vulnerable at one point or another in our lives.
This is just one woman's opinion. I am sure there will be plenty others who disagree.  | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 9:23:23 PM | The choices a man makes while in his thirties and up can speak volumes about him as a person. Some questons going through mind would be: Was he ever a player? Is he still a player? Was he stupid enough to play without protection? Would I have to pay for his past mistakes when I am with him? Now would I ever date a player? Of course I would and so would most women on this site. Player types typically have a great deal of confidence and are flirts by nature and vulnerable women can become putty in their hands... and most of us are vulnerable at one point or another in our lives. This is just one woman's opinion. I am sure there will be plenty others who disagree.
I raise my right hand. 
I have dated the so called *player* many times. Actually~ they can be great men. Assertive, high octane and often extremely intelligent. You have to know how to handle this type of man correctly and deflect the scumbags. It's not the "player" you have to worry about. It's the game. The player can and has been reformed in the past. HA! I'm really not one for social labels in general to be honest.
I've met a few pathological liars that weren't players. They were just liars. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:45:11 PM |
If he has ever been with another man, or even thought about it, that is instant dismissal.
Do you really mean "even thought about it" or do you mean "seriously considered doing it?" Everybody has thought about it. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:55:53 AM | | I wouldnt say i dont care, i mean who likes the thought that thier partner has been with others? Its not a nice thought... But i wouldnt make a big deal out of it, i know my boyfriend has a past, and its quite normal, so i dont let it bother me. But yeah i do care, i just dont give it a lot of thought, hes with me now, that should be all that matters. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/8/2008 3:03:00 AM | Do you really mean "even thought about it" or do you mean "seriously considered doing it?" Everybody has thought about it.
Everybody is a pretty bold, generalizing assumption. I meant exactly what I said.
But I do think, it would make a perfect topic in these forums for better clarity.
No~ I can honestly say any male I personally have been with has not sat there and pondered fellatio and/or anal with another man. No way in hell. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:12:59 AM | Everybody is a pretty bold, generalizing assumption. I meant exactly what I said.
Actually, it's not. In order to dismiss the idea, the thought has to cross somebody's mind, even if only for the briefest of moments.
I can honestly say any male I personally have been with has not sat there and pondered fellatio and/or anal with another man. No way in hell.
What you can say with honesty perhaps is that no man has ever discussed those acts with you. Whether he's ever performed those acts or derived any pleasure from the thought of them, you don't know for certain. | |
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| do you ladies care? not care? or sort of care?
Posted: 9/8/2008 6:48:30 AM | I "sort of care" who a man has been with sexually, but "how long ago" makes the difference for me ... especially if he has been with extreme sluts or the "less expensive" prostitutes. As long as he is disease-free now, and is not hung-up on someone in his past, I'm pretty much okay with the past.
The only past that would really disturb me is if he had been having sex with other men.
As for Gene Simmons ... isn't he the one who has had sex with close to 4000 women (supposedly)? | |
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