1 -Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

2 -Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

3 -Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

4 -Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5 -Crying is blackmail.

6 -Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one : Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7 -We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

8 -Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9 -Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

10 -A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

11 -Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

12 -If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13 -Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

14 -You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15 -Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16 -ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit , not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17 -If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18 -We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

19 -If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20 -If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21 -When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

22 -Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

23 -It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

24 -BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

25 -I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mindthat, it's like camping.

1 -Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Most times, we don't care if you're thinking or not. Just take out the trash on time.

2 -Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

What you don't know is we are gathered at our girlpals house, chatting about those tight ass/croch pants the players wear.

3 -Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

We prefer that you let yours grow. Think warrior..think way back in history... men had that long sexy hair.

4 -Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

We don't care. Just support the sport.

5 -Crying is blackmail.

And,...your point is??

6 -Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one : Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Okeydokey...you asked for it... just keep that in mind. The next time you've spent your wad in the bed and we say... bluntly... "Is that all? Geeez"

7 -We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Addition to Number 6 above. We will remind you and tell you exactly what to buy us.

8 -Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

We only ask to try to include you in conversation. Nothing more or less. We'll wear what we please.

9 -Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Don't come to us for sympathy (after a hard day's work, which you like to share but, not listen to ours), go to your male pals to **** that's what they're for.

10 -A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

A limp****or premature ejaculation that lasts for 17 is way beyond a problem. See a doctor.

11 -Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

Excellent. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

12 -If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

We know better, but, usually we just roll our eyes and let you think what you will.

13 -Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

See, Number 11. Same applies here.

14 -You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

When you start stopping to ask directions, we will do number 14 as requested.

15 -Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

Then, don't complain about the cost of gasoline.

16 -ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit , not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

We already know this. It's just our way of trying to educate the masses.

17 -If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

And, you wonder why we are hesitate to have sex with you sometimes.

18 -We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

I think this has been addressed. We try to educate the masses.

19 -If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

When we ask what you would like for dinner the next evening and you reply "It doesn't matter"... we will take you for your word. Be prepared to stop for take out for us.

20 -If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Not to be redundant... but, what's good for the goose...etc.

21 -When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

We'll remember that when we wear our bunny houseshoes to the grocery store with you.

22 -Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you want to hear the names, Val Kilmer, Vitto M, etc. over and over.

23 -It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

True. It's easier to lie in private.

24 -BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

You're not keeping up. Handbags are out of style. We like beer too. You just haven't noticed. As usual.

25 -I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Remember that when you look at us down the years.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mindthat, it's like camping.

That's cool. Calling my gal pals over for a slumber party. Now... to break out the Kilmer and buds photo album...hidden under bed.