| Actual Auto Insurance Statements
Posted: 9/11/2008 2:39:00 PM | The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
Going to work this morning, I drove out of my driveway straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.
Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo.
I realized the engine was on fire from the smoke under the hood. I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman...as he bounced off the roof of my car.
No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
No one was to blame for the accident, but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my front end. | |
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| Actual Auto Insurance Statements
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:03:48 PM | I personally know the people that these happened to.
One was a fellow bus driver who actually wrote in his accident report that the tree limb jumped out in front of him.
The other was a friend of mine. He got in his car one morning, put it in gear. When it wouldn't move, he realized that it was low in transmission fluid. He got out (forgetting to put it in park) and began filling the transmission. Needless to say, the transmission kicked in and the car began to back up.... straight into a friends classic car. Because of the value of the classic car, he had to report the occurence to his insurance company. The representative asked him who was driving the first car.
He answers, "Nobody."
"Ok, who was in the other car."
Again he answers, "Nobody."
"Ummm.... just where were you when the cars collided?"
"Holding onto the bumper, being drug with it while yelling, 'STOOOOOOPPPP!!!'" | |
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| Actual Auto Insurance Statements
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:15:44 PM | OMGty     i have tears on my face i'm laughing so hard...
(i am a Driving Examiner for The State & these are an absolute crack-up!) ThankYou!   | |
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| Actual Auto Insurance Statements
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:07:17 AM | | These are hilarious. I love to find tales like these. I was laughing so hard it took a few minutes to read all of it. | |
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