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 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 1
Courting a Man???Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
OK, boys and girls, there's been a lot of talk about courting. Some men said that they liked to be courted, and some women said that they courted men.

Could someone explain to me please what this means? I mean, how do women court men? When a man courts a woman, he would pick her up, take her out, bring her flowers, or small gifts, etc. Does courting a man mean that a woman does the same things to him? Just reversing the roles?
 oceanstateguy2
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 2
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:00:41 PM
I think courting comes during the Divorce proceedings :) :modhammer: :modhammer:
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:06:00 PM
Wow this is easy. I heard it was show up naked and bring beer.

Men are all different, so being courted to one man may not be the same as courting another.

"Just reversing the roles?" Umm...I doubt that would be the same. Try painting a guy's toenails...yeah, I can tell ya don't bother....haha

Actually I think this goes to the languages of love concept, that people enjoy different expressions of love and affection. For some it's words, some touch...and there's others. It's very enlightening.
 issapeach
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 4
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:06:59 PM
Courting means different things to different people. It could be role reversing, it could be as simple as a woman pursuing a man...it could be anything. To each their own.
 childofgodus
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 5
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:13:49 PM
i think it means whos prosuing . if you like a man and send him flowers to his work then your making a move to know him . lets say you liked me and sent me a new fishing pole with great reel and 6 pound line with a rapala fishing lure . i;d be very happy
 SteveinHP
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 6
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:13:56 PM
Wow this is easy. I heard it was show up naked and bring beer.

Works for me

I had a girl court me at one time, many moons ago. She would by me presents, necklaces, knick knacks, leave me notes on my windshield, want to take me places, pay for everything...

Only problem was, that while she was pretty, her personality left a lot to be desired. She tried too damn hard...so of course whenI told her to leave me alone, she tried harder and went out and bought me a 1400 dollar necklace (she left the reciept)...

It got ugly, and no I did not give her the necklace back. Police were involved, and since she admitted to gifting me the necklace, the cops asked if I wanted to give it back, I said no, and they escorted her off my property. SHe eventually faded back into the woodwork..

I would like it, although I do not need expensive gifts, hell a fake rose from the dollar store and a "you're sexy" note would do it for me, it does make a guy feel special that a woman would do this, show her man how much she cares about him. As long as she does not go overboard....
 ic2beyurs2
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 7
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:14:25 PM
your asking is there a double standard

and of course there is

but men unlike women welcome this approach

so of course its ok fo ra women toreach out and grab us
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 8
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:16:52 PM
To me, words, touch, little nice gestures - that's not courtship. It's an expression of affection. In my understanding courtship is a set of actions targeting a beginning and development of romantic relationship.

I guess calling a man, or paying on dates, or buying him gifts is considered a courting a man? Or would someone go even that far as buying a man flowers?
 Affectionatedoggie
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 9
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:21:31 PM
Well, I would really enjoy that. The role-reversal of having a woman pursue me.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 10
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:24:45 PM
Once I left a guy I knew a message written in lipstick on the windshield of his jeep.

He laughed and then made me clean it off....(pout).

In my somewhat limited experience, men enjoy attention, affection, showing interest in them and their interests, being imaginative and spontaneous.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 11
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:39:46 PM

In my somewhat limited experience, men enjoy attention, affection, showing interest in them and their interests, being imaginative and spontaneous.

That's right, but that doesn't sound like courtship to me. That is attention, affection and interest.

What is the courtship then?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:42:07 PM
"That is attention, affection and interest." Call it what you like, but I've never known a man that doesn't enjoy the heck out of it.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 13
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:54:46 PM

"That is attention, affection and interest." Call it what you like, but I've never known a man that doesn't enjoy the heck out of it.

No doubts about that. However, I specifically asked about courtship. What does "courting a man" mean? To me it sounds like a role reversal, and I'd like to see what other people's opinions are.
 JustPeaking
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 14
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:54:00 PM
...Most men are very literal about love, so courting a man is a VERY BAD idea.
Forget the games. If you like a guy, just jump in with both feet and show him how
much you like him.

Remember that men are very visual creatures, so wear something that will grab his
attention. We are also very physical, so lots of touching and caressing is something
we just can't get enough of.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 15
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:23:26 PM

so courting a man is a VERY BAD idea.

That is exactly how I feel. It seems to me that that would be very emasculating.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 16
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:20:54 PM
I am aware of the sudden interest in "courting" in the forums.

I am a little disappointed in this thread.

I thought it was going to incite responses from women that feel they have courted their men. Guess, either it doesn't happen or they (the women that have courted men) are nonresponsive.

Bummer!

What I think I'm hearing is......

Well, I'll wait for more feminine responses before I speculate.
 ceeceekitty
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 17
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:25:48 PM
To me, courting would not be one sided, and more of an exchange between two people who wish to build a long term relationship.......together.

Love letters, poems.........once I put a little love note, in his sandwich......he ate part of it before he realized it, then called to ask what the note said........
He feared, he'd eaten, a grocery list.

When he had to be away for 2 weeks, I wrote little letters and placed them in different clothing...Good morning and miss you stuff.
Also put a pair of my undies......clean and, sprayed with my favorite perfume, he'd bought me.
We had a lunch date and I showed up with a picnic lunch, along with a blanket..........and some of his favorite foods.

Planned and took him out on a date.......the week of the date, he tried to guess what we were doing/where we were going........
Hand-made cards.
I did this our entire marriage...........sometimes, I'd wind up being like Lucy and things would turn out bass ackwards....

My thoughts;
Courtship is like slow dancing, with the one you love, during rush hour in the middle of Times Square............and to the tune of your own special music.
Loving and being loved, respected and adored...no one keeps score.
Katt
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 18
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:31:56 PM
I think in some ways it is a role reversal. Although not noxiously to the point where the man wears a dress, nylons and pumps. Or the woman pulls up her britches. To each their own.

Twenty-five years ago a young lady decided to send me balloons. I received them while attending evening computer 101 at the local college. There were seven of them and I was instructed to pop one, read the corresponding note inside, to receive the 'prize'.

She had initiated the courtship and I was sitting with classmates, blushing like a teenage girl. I was put on the spot. Everybody there insisted I take her up on her invitation. The pressure unreal.

So now I know somewhat how a woman feels when an advance is put forth on her, says no to this proposition, but changes her mind after several more attempts. A woman's prerogative to be sure.

Women should take the initiative more often, if only to remind men how women feel when pursued. Plus it may empower the lady, showing that her initial attraction turned out to be nothing but a figment of her imagination.


Ur Xoxo.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 19
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:42:09 PM
IMO, a couple should court one another. A role reversal would imply that the woman would do all the wooing, where’s the fun in that? For me, courting is the creation of the romantic connection, of which reciprocal affection, adoration and attention are a must. If we have a mutual desire to become better acquainted, I would do my fare share o’ courtin’. I enjoy romancing my man. There are so many ways to afford affection and love to your partner; these are the “little things that count”. If I am ever blessed and find my match, I have promised myself to be romantically vigilant and keep courting him even when we’re old and gray.
 chesher 38
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 20
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:57:35 PM
Come to think of it, I think women may have tried this on me, But I never figured it out...


However if you SHOW UP NAKED AND BRING Taquila, I am quite sure that things will get intresting...
 ktlnow
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 21
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Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:59:15 PM
courting is just doing something nice and special for someone.

Yup... it can beer and heels

cooking your specialty with wine and candles...
cooking his favorite in heels....
massage oil in both pockets....
flowers work too....
Being playful and thoughtful is what courting is all about!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 22
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:47:12 PM
I always thought it was the male courting a female...trying to woo her to marriage. They would call at her home and leave a card that they had been there etc. Maybe courting is that step between meeting someone and dating...you are courting each other toward dating?

I do agree with the op that the other things so far described don't sound like courting but more like general relationship, affection etc...

I did have a man who would call me every few days, he didnt live in the area and he made the statement that he loved courting me..so in his eyes it was the calling that was courting...
 gimme a smile
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 23
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:13:20 PM
You all have it all wrong. The real description of the word courting is building a relationship of friendship and trust so as to discern if a person is a good fit, the right kind of man (if you are a woman) to start to consider as a love interest. Courting is actually a concept which has been picked up by a whole new generation of young people who have been coined "John Paul II Kids" It is a Catholic sexual revolution that is gaining strength amongst todays kids because they recognize the futility of having rampant sex with whoever happens to be arousing you at the moment. They are committing to chastity until marriage. They know the true meaning of courting is a careful search, or discernment in their relationships with the opposite sex, until they are led by God to the one who will be their earthly helpmate and partner. It is a forever thing - not a "you are sexy so lets get it on" thing.

So, FYI, a lady can court a man by treating him with respect and dignity and by getting to know his heart, his spirit and his mind. If he proves to be an honourable man who can respect her in kind, then she has found a husband who will love her through sickness and in health, good times and bad, until death they part. ..... well, temporarily, because they will surely be reunited in Heaven.

 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 24
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/12/2008 12:40:54 AM


Courtship
Dictionary.com
1. the wooing of one person by another. ~I need to woo... tomorrow. LOL
2. the period during which such wooing takes place. ~Woohoo!
3. solicitation of favors, applause, etc. ~My ego needs boosting.
4. Ethology. behavior in animals that occurs before and during mating, often including elaborate displays. ~Proud as a peacock.
5. Obsolete. courtly behavior; courtesy; gallantry. ~Well I do not think it is OBSOLETE.


1. The act, process, or period of courting.
2. Zoology Specialized behavior in animals that leads to or initiates mating.


As you may see, or not, courtship is what the OP meant. IMHO

It is not about chastity, or the opposite, rampant sex. It is to find compatibility.
Now the question is,
'What is compatible to me?'

Ur Xoxo.
 angelbrighteyes
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 25
Courting a Man???
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:30:57 AM
a couple should court one another. A role reversal would imply that the woman would do all the wooing, where’s the fun in that? For me, courting is the creation of the romantic connection, of which reciprocal affection, adoration and attention are a must. If we have a mutual desire to become better acquainted, I would do my fare share o’ courting’. I enjoy romancing my man. There are so many ways to afford affection and love to your partner; these are the “little things that count”. If I am ever blessed and find my match, I have promised myself to be romantically vigilant and keep courting him even when we’re old and gray. (Quoted by Frau Blucher...)

I agree with you totally...
Courting can be done by both if you are in a relationship where both have the same desire for each other. I vow to keep courting my man when I feel I have met him. Courting can bring the romance out of most.. That is nice to see and of course feel.
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