| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:15:41 PM |
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
THE LATE JERRY FALLWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?? | |
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Sir_i
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Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 2 | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:11:36 PM | | nope nope nope....................the real reason the chicken crossed the road was to prove to opossums that it really can be done | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:47:14 PM | | Rax... you MUST be a Texan. LOL I taught that very joke to my son. Now I have to hear it about 12 times a week. | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:25:26 PM | | Kieth Olberman, The chicken was on the right side of the road, saw the error of his ways and wanted to be on the left side of the road. | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/12/2008 10:21:10 PM | OR maybe it was on the left side of the road and was tired of being wrong... and you're looking at the road from the wrong direction...
Perspective can influence how you see things.
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/17/2008 11:00:17 AM | | The chicken crossed the road because it had Alzeimers and forgot it had already crossed the road so crossed it again anyway. | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 9/17/2008 11:02:55 PM | Colonel Sanders was chasing it.
The rooster was on the other side of the road.
To prove to armadillos that it could be done.
To confuse humans and cause them to make bad jokes about chickens and roads.
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:08:34 AM | | "the chicken clearly violated the no crossing agreements, and therefore had to be cluster bombed back to the stone age. it was also working for al queda" | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:53:22 PM | "Why did the frog cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken"
A friend made that up when she was little. but the question remains. Why did the chicken cross the road? | |
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| Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road
Posted: 1/1/2009 1:02:33 PM | Hold on a moment. When the gender is unspecified then the masculine pronoun is to be used. Yeah, okay, it's fun to confound the PC brigade but surely a chicken, being of the female persuasion, can legitimately take the relevant pronoun? Perhaps she crossed the road 'cos she was fed up being referred to as 'he'?
Am I being a pedant? That's probably 'cos I'm still drunk from the festivities. Anyway, I was always told that the reason the chicken crossed the road was to get to the other side. Dammit, the bottle's empty - I'll be back. | |
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