| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:21:29 PM | Hi Guys and girls,
Just wondering what your thoughts are about getting serious with someone who is in the military or has a career in which they have to move a lot. Would you date someone if you knew they would have to move in 3-7 years or be gone for months at a time?
Gazing | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:44:31 PM | Good question this is why I usually only date military guys they understand my lifestyle and all of it's stresses. Many people are willing to make this kind of a sacrifice and then there will be some that already have well established careers so they will not be willing to give everything up to be with a military person. We are our own world so to speak and it takes a person of great strength to enter in to it and function in a healthy capacity. I'm just glad my career is on it's down hill slide and my moving days are just about over. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:51:25 PM | | absolutely....if you have no children to tie you to one place....why not | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:53:59 PM | | Sure i would.. career women are career women.. military is a great way of like.. as for moving all the time..i do..and its tough to find someone that can handle the seperation and my job (truck driver) is rough on relationships.. so.. yes my dear.. i would | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:02:36 PM | Yes. It could happen!
Hey does this count as a solute? (off screen humor) | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:46:27 PM | I could do it, but that would make us a dual military couple which can bring some own issues.
Basically, Officers CANNOT date Enlisted, (at least in US, most others are same but I am sure there is an exception somewhere), and even within the Officer or Enlisted Corps, there are rules for senority differences, senior/subordinate relationship, and even instructor/student. That is often a HUGE can of worms, and I have had to turn down a couple Enlisted women over the years who don't quite understand that a Lieutenant dating a Petty Officer is BAD.
That being said, if you are on opposing deployment cycles, which is luck of the draw, you may barely ever see each other. And then, if you are married, trying to get co-located can be a bear. If I, as a pilot of Carrier Turboprop type aircraft were to marry a Helicopter pilot, the available duty stations for us to live together is cut in half. And those may not be available.
Both being military is nice because you both have a clue of what is going on. That is nice, because I saw a lot of relationship strife because the women thought they understood what was going on, but did not, and refused to believe the servicemember. Prime example. Another pilots wife in my last squadron told all the other wives that "they eat for free on the boat, they don't need money. If they ask for it, they just want to blow it on strippers in port".
He was prior enlisted, and it is true that they did not pay for meals on the boat. But they did lose a good chunk of their pay. Officers keep their food pay on the boat, but PAY for the food on the boat (and yes, its more than BAS, our food allowance. Go figure) every month. But once the wives/girlfriends had accepted the "gospel" of the wife who had been there before, none of us were able to get the truth across, until the CO's wife told them in person, and we faxed copies of our bills home. I wish I was kidding.
And that's just one of MANY times when the "homeguard" thought they knew more about what was going on than the guys out floating in the big metal box with 5000 of their closest friends. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:07:51 PM | | I wouldn't. Moving around like that would be expensive, and I wouldn't want to be without her for a long time. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:14:31 PM | I was an Army spouse for 17 years and I am proud of every day that I had the opportunity to be that .
life is not easy , matter of fact it can be rough ... but man its awsom too .
you get to see so many places .. the moving is the least of you problems . by the 2nd move you will be a pro at it , you know hat you have to do ..
if that is the only thing you worry about ,,, you make it ...
it is the deployments and the trainings that are rought , thats what you have to worry about , and you have to understand , that there will be times where he/she cant be there ...
my ex missed the birth of 2 kids .. that was suck ,,, but I made it ...it was hard on him . now things are a bit easier with the pc and cams ..... those are the things you have to think about ...
ARE YOU WILLING TO LIVE AND DEAL WITH THAT ?????
most of all you do need to understand that your partner needs somebody at home that he can count on ... the last thing he/she needs is a partner at home freaking out over a parking ticket while being deployed . you need to be able to stand on your own 2 feet and keep the home front calm .. I enjoyed every minute of it ...
well almost ...
my ex was in 2 major deployments ... yes I was worry sick ,,,, but he made it home , thank god .. those are the things one needs to worry about ..
and by the way to another poster
kids wont tie you down . we had 3 kids . and with the right preparation they do just fine with the life that the armforces have to offer ... mine are some terrific kids and nothing will shake then, they are strong and just plain awsom . like so many other kids , who parents are serving ...
would I date another service member . totaly ....... I was proud and still am proud. but not everybody can handle that .
also 1 more thing . if you dont trust your partner forget it . as another poster already said ... there is one or the other spouse that have totaly no clue what is going on , nor do they wonna be part of it . they think they know what the guys are doing and they spread lies and BS ....... there is a lot of stress from that side too ....you have to flexible , so you are able to make a bit of time in between some missions , ( if permitted ) ...
trust me ... there is a lot more to think about then just the moving .... thats the easy part of everything | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:58:09 AM | Being retired military I also had a very understanding better half. She was there with me whenever we had to move somewhere else and that was like every 2 - 3 years. I lost her in 2002 after I retired and still do miss have that special someone there when I come home from a trip. Someone that know how to take care of things.
Would I date a military woman the answer is YES. If she could handle the seperations involved then I would be able to do the same.
Women have careers as well as men and both have to be flexible with each other. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:34:41 PM | | Me being retired sailor and always at sea when I was on active duty it was hard to find a lady who was understanding to the ways of military life, but once you found one you moved heaven and earth for her. Now that I am retired, I would date military woman any day of the week. We all have careers and be men or women andit's nice to comehome to a understand best friend.. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:43:03 PM | Military women are good women. They are usually intelligent; have traveled quite a bit; are comfortable around different kinds of people; and can keep commitments. The fact that they can be transferred can be worked around. I've never met a female airman, soldier, or Marine who had the "princess" mentality or was spoilt or stupid.
Military women are great lovers and companions. Can't say anything bad about them. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:46:36 PM | This is another one of those attention seeking questions.
Would you eat green eggs and ham Sam I am?
OK, I get the hint that you are in the military and single looking...
Common sense should tell you that people will date anyone! Most will even date them twice! | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:53:30 PM | | Exactley .. depends on if there are kids involved... i think it would be fun moving every few years, but would never want to put kids through that... | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/5/2008 4:53:33 PM | | I would be willing to date a service member; being a USAF vet myself. If it worked out, I'd be willing to marry her. I would discuss the chances of her getting out, re-upping, making a career of it, etc, before getting very involved. I would balance her career goals against other factors as we became acquainted, and involved. By the time marriage was being seriously discussed I would know that she was worth going though some hassels for. I dated while in USAF, but did not marry. I did ask a civilain I'd been dating in HS to marry me, and she refused because I had joined the militay, and she couldn't handle the thought that I may get killed. That was during the Viet Nam Conflict. I told her I will not get killed, but she couldn't believe that. Some people can stand risk, and others can't. Try to convince them that going to work on a freeway is as risky as is serving in Iraq. Auto wrecks, flash floods, freeway collapses, earthquakes, terrorist strikes like 9-11, planes falling out of the sky and landing on roads, etc, can all kill you here, as a civilian, as easily as can an Al-Queda sniper bullet in Iraq when you are in service. | |
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| Date a military woman?
Posted: 10/5/2008 4:55:45 PM | I would love to date a military woman, unfortanetely I dont know any who are single lol! I like to wear camo's and theres nothing more than a woman wearing them, a real head turner for me. | |
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