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| HELLO, OPERATOR! Actual call center conversations!
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:33:57 PM | I'm sure this went through the threads...
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1200 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland .'
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
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Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that
tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'  | |
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| HELLO, OPERATOR! Actual call center conversations!
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:22:42 AM | A number of years ago, I called ahead to a hotel in CT for a reservation- I haul high-end automobiles in a tractor-trailer (enclosed trailer with very low belly-boxes) and needed a room in a location I was familiar with and knew I could get in and out of without incurring damage or a $700 wrecker bill...
I spoke with a Hindi fellow- or some kind of Indian person... Hindi, Punjabe, whatever, they all sound the same, and are basically a nice bunch of people, even if they ARE like a crowd of ditsy blondes on the loose...
When I arrived several hours later, I went to check in, and presented my company credit card. The clerk asked for my ID, and I gave it to him. He immediately advised me that my name didn't match the (company name) on the credit card, though my name was embossed below it... I was wet, cold, and tired as hell, and after no success in convincing him that I wasn't committing credit fraud, I finally marched out to the truck, got my logbooks, bills of lading, shirts, hats, and everything that had both my name and the company name on it, and dumped it on the hotel desk. He continued to give me a hard time- at this point, a small crowd had gathered, all awaiting check-in, and were watching with curiosity as this scenario unfolded... Finally, in frustration, I blurted out, "You're an ***hole!!!" He immediately responded in the Indian accent, "Thank-you sir, and so are you!" with this huge, curry-eating grin.... All of us in the lobby burst out laughing... It was truly hilarious. At any rate, the fellow presented me with the bill to sign, lol, and gave me a handicapped room with flat shower access, so the bathroom was like a skating rink for me, but I got my trailer dropped, washed my arse, went out and had a really nice dinner on the waterfront, and slept like a zombie until well into the next day....
Another time, I had been out in the hills of South Carolina with a musician friend until the wee hours, drinkin' shine and pickin' grass(bluegrass music). Jeff and I stopped at a roadside diner, and I ordered biscuits and gravy. I wanted a couple of eggs over medium on top of my B&G, and asked if they had eggs a la carte. The waitress responded that they had eggs benedict, and a coupkle other ways, and I asked again if they had eggs a la carte. Again, she said no, and when I asked the last time if I could just GET some eggs a la carte, she said, "Sorry- no. BUT, they're GOOD that way!"
Dayummmm!!!!!!
-damoN-   | |
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