| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:26:21 PM | I met this wonderfuly sweet person and after talking for awhile we agreed to meet in person. It was a very awkard evening and while he was nice looking I couldn't decided if I really liked him or not. This guy was such a gentleman, sweet and kind, I told my girlfriend he was just too nice for me.
He kept texting me wanting to meet again, so I decided to try it one more time, this time with less people around. It was a wonderful evening and I really enjoyed myself (no we didn't have sex) we just cuddled on the couch and talked.
We talk on the phone every day and I have seen him some several more times, but I decided to ask him what he wanted and he said he didn't know, because he was a lost soul. I don't think he is looking for a booty call, I think he is truly a lonely person wanting some companionship.
I don't understand what he means by a lost soul, how can I find out if he is truly interested in me or if I am just filling some void in his life, he says he is talking some other girls, but says he's not seeing any of them, I am really starting to like him and I am scared if I continue to see him I will start to have feeling and I am scared of being hurt, does anyone have any advice? | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:51:01 PM | I can only speak to what I would mean if it were me saying it, but to me being a "lost soul" would be that I was not sure of who I was. In other words I didn't know myself or what I was looking for in life itself. Keep in mind, I am not christian, I'm wiccan, so maybe my perspective has no place in what your speaking about, but "lost souls" to my way of thinking are souls which have literally lost their way. In a spiritual sense. They have no purpose or direction. There was a time I felt that I was a lost soul myself. I was going through a very serious depression at the time, and didn't realize it (imagine that) and day to day life had no color to it. I went through the motions but there simply was no enjoyment. I wasn't happy, I wasn't sad, I didn't get angry, I literally felt nothing. Kind of like being a robot, if you understand what I'm saying. It took me a long time to "find myself" so to speak, a lot of healing had to take place. At that point in my life, I couldn't have possibly had any kind of relationship. I simply didn't feel anything.
Whether this has any meaning for him, or is how he is using the term, I have no clue. This is simply what I would mean were I to be the one saying it. Take it for what it's worth. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:54:36 PM | A lost soul is someone who feels he is drifting without purpose, does not belong where he is, is not sure of his values or priorities. Someone who describes themselves like this is excusing themselves for what amounts to a lack of responsibility and consideration when it comes to their behaviour.
He probably is a lonely person, but he doesn't know what he wants and that's a big problem if you're hoping for someone who is going to be reasonably stable and reliable and not simply tempted by whatever takes his fancy in any given moment. I don't know if you've ever watched or read Bleak House, but there's a character in that who is always saying "Oh I am a child in these matters, a child!" and your "lost soul" reminds me of this; the character totally mismanages his life and acts without any integrity at all, excusing himself with the "... a child!" claim.
He's declaring upfront that he doesn't know what is important to him and therefore if you hope to be important to him, don't bother because you won't be and he's warning you of that. If you enjoy his company, by all means enjoy it for what it is, but never fool yourself into forgetting that he is more flittery than a butterfly as far as consistency and purpose are concerned. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:59:54 PM | | I just wanted to thank you for your input. Thanks to your explantation I can understand a little better. Based on the music he has played I would say he has been seriously hurt and could possibly be depressed. Again, thank you for the input. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:37:40 PM | | Basically what my entire generations gonna be in the next 20 years. When all the people my age grow up theyre gonna realize this mtv, hardcore image thing was pointless. Theyre kids wont listen to them, theyll rebel and start something new, whatever thatll be. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:50:54 PM | A "lost soul" sounds to me like a copout. Looking for escuses, without wishing to get into great detail about oneself.
He might as well have said, "I'm a Humpty Dumpty, and no one can ever put me together again."
In other words, WTF?
Word games, basically. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:10:28 PM | ^^^He might as well have said, "I'm a Humpty Dumpty, and no one can ever put me together again^^^
that pretty much sums it up.
not necessarily a cop out. but most definately an anchor.
been there, did that.
do yourself a favor and dont get sucked into that crap, valid or not.
for it is way to easy to join them instead of beating them. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:57:10 PM | Lil Momma:
I think what he means by a lost soul; is that, as he stated , he was talking to some other women. In that respect I just feel he is undecided and most likely likes somone of them more. and she is being undecided with him that he is hoping will give him an answer. So in essence he is just trying to hold on to every girl he knows waiting for a particular one to make a decision. This way if she decides not to be with him then he still has the rest of you to choose from.
Honsetly I think the guy is luck and anyone here for that matter who gets to meet anyone. This is a super hard place to even get people to write back to you much less ever meeting them in person.
In my own case I usally write someone and 90 percent of the time I never hear anything from my effort and time. I have sent people some letters that were literally deleted before they were ever read here. Also if that 2 % do write back it is generally a one liner or two liner sentence. Most of the time when I reply to someone that has sent a message; I never hear back from them again. I have been on this site now, on and off, for probably three years ; never once have I ever met anyone in person. So this guy is pretty lucky in my opinion. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:26:52 AM | Lost souls are people that have no purpose in life....they are looking for someone to take their lives over and live it for them. This is the clingy side of him..he is looking for someone to take over his life because he has made such a mess of it so far.
However, because he does not know what he wants....he is usually wishy washy in his decision to be monogamous....so he won't.
Don't let him rush you though......make some space in between calls and emails. Sometimes we get caught up in it all.....and become intimate fast...and emotions get in the way...........................and this is when he starts detaching...when you think you can exhale because you found ..THE ONE.... Happens all the time on these sites. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:00:01 AM | | I will agree that no one should regret what they have done with their life and seek another person to take it over because that person will screw it up every time. Life is never a meausure of material wealth or occupational status as both can become dust in minutes. An example of that was Wallstreet yesterday. A successful life is measured in how good a person you are and much you have helped others make a better life for themselves. That you can take with you when you die; the rest will remain here either to be self- consumed because it wasn't used or properly cared for or squandered in waste at a place like Disney World. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:07:08 AM | This guy was such a gentleman, sweet and kind, I told my girlfriend he was just too nice for me. - Lil Momma26871
It's just as you said - he's too nice for you.
"Wonderfully sweet person . . . such a gentleman . . . sweet and kind . . . nice looking . . . I am really starting to like him . . . I am scared if I continue to see him I will start to have feelings . . . "
Start to have feelings? Sheeeeesh.
I can't argue with you. He is too nice for you. Leave him alone, and let him find someone else who doesn't worry about having feelings.
- Peter | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:36:53 AM | | Sounds little suspect, at first i'd say he's a bit depressed and lonely, but reading that paragraph again makes me think he's playing word games to keep you at arms length while he decides which woman he wants... | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:38:52 AM | | Go with the flow for now, that's my suggestion. Ask him directly what he meant by "lost soul". Maybe he was having a "down" day or maybe he's trying to get you to feel sorry for him, you won't know until you ask him what he meant. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:53:31 AM | I think Scorpion hit the nail on the head with his answer.
At this moment in my life I am a "lost soul"
I had a bad year last year and lost my second brother, my job, house, was diagnosed with a heart condition that is like a sudden adult death syndrome. I was on anti depressants. Lukily for me I have my 10 year old daughter living with me and therefore had to hold it all together for her sake. At this moment in my life I just wake up go through the motions and sleep again. It's a horrible place to be in but like everything in life nothing lasts forever !
I know I will be better again but it will take time and nothing can speed that process up.
I don't know how much you know about this man but have you spoke to him about it and seen if there is anything that kick started it off ??
I used to be full of beans and have lots of confidence but at this moment in time it's been knocked out of me. I will get it back but thats because I want it back and I get stronger every day. Others may just choose to curl in a ball not be bothered to face life no more.
So sometimes a lost soul is not a "cop out" it's due to circumstances in there life .. we all have them and it we all deal with them in our own different ways. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:54:11 AM | Thank you Ace for your input.
The only thing I know for sure about him is that he is divorced and has two boys that he has on the weekends. He has talked to me a little bit about a girl he dated, I know they broke up in February. I know he owns his own business and that consumes quite a bit of his time.
I could see where he might be depressed and a very lonely person. Based on the music he plays I can sense he has been deeply hurt by someone in his life.
So, if I make the choice to continue to see him, how do you get past the depression, to help him, let him know I am here for him to talk to, that I wouldn't hurt him, without seeming pushy if that makes sense.
Thank all of you for the wonderful advice, it will help me to better make a decision. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 10:00:16 AM | | He described himself as a lost soul? Sounds like a big old personal pity party and your invited to be his caterer. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:04:50 PM | Eventually we will all be lost souls. It's called becoming aware,
or getting closer to enlightenment!
It also explains why he doesn't try and attack you! lol
Some people evolve to the point where things that they thought
mattered so much, they realize just don't! The problem is, that
person is often left in a void of sorts, wondering just what is important!
You asked him early on, as many women do, what does a guy "WANT"
Most of us live our lives wanting something and that's what drives us.
When we realize the folly in that, again, we are left in that void! | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:22:25 PM | For all those of you who claim this is a "copout" or have decided it's a pity party of some sort, All I can say is until you've been there and lived it, best to keep your opinions to yourself. When it happened to me, I wouldn't have cared whether you pitied me or not. I felt nothing, no joy, no sadness, no sorry for myself, etc. As I said, I have no idea why he would be in that situation, if in fact he really even is, but if he actually is, there's nothing you, the OP, can actually do for him, other than be supportive. It doesn't sound like in what your saying about him that he has been anything but nice. No underlying motives, no agenda, etc....just too nice. OMG, wouldn't be GREAT if everyone was nice. And honestly, at least the guy tells you up front that he feels this way, points in my book for the honesty. People tend to always want to see the ulterior motive, regardless of what's really going on.
If he's real, and being honest, and recognizes his condition then he is on the path to recovery from it already. As another person said, it takes time, sometimes a long time. If your seriously interested in this guy, then just be there. Just be supportive. Don't push him for anything, just be a friend. He will "find himself" one of these days, and if he's worth it to you, then you'll be there for him to find as well. And I guarantee you, he will appreciate you for it too, if he's the type of person I was. Someone who stands by you when things are bad is also someone I would be more likely to keep for good. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:34:46 PM | | It seems to me, because I went though this, that he hasn't gotten over his last love. He's trying to move on, but it may be to soon. He's not a lost soul. Hes a wonderful person that needs a good friend right now. He needs time. It took me 3 years. Its a hard place to be. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:50:10 PM |
Lost souls are people that have no purpose in life....they are looking for someone to take their lives over and live it for them. This is the clingy side of him..he is looking for someone to take over his life because he has made such a mess of it so far. Jeez, I hope that you just happened to choose the wrong word there because it doesn't take much to go from "No purpose in life", to "No point in living".
Lost souls have no direction in life. No ambition, no drive.
He's possibly depressed, and almost certainly hard to motivate.
Its GOOD that he knows it, and its entirely possible that something in his life going for him will perk him up, and give him something to aim for. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:56:16 PM | A lost soul means this to me...just my opinion.
He knows what he wants, but has not found it, he knows he has what it takes to make it work, but till he finds his QUEST, he will use these terms to fill the void of what is missing in his life. He will continue his search ...till he finds her, it may be you...hang in there!
He has passion, a lot of love, and believes in romance, I would not let a man like this go, if you are attracted to him. If you feel there is a connection STAY...we are all scared of being hurt, this is life, we must take the chance for TRUE LOVE...but it is still very early for you to actually leave this.
Don't call him, let the silence ride...men know if there is a connection with you.
A LOST SOUL, IS ALSO A OLD SOUL...beautiful person...
M. | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:56:41 PM | Actually, a person may elect to vacate their body and have another soul
take over. Ruth Montgomery reffered to these cases as walk ins, but I rather
suspect this is well beyond the scope of this thread!  | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:08:40 PM | A lost soul is one thing.
A self-proclaimed "lost soul" is another.
Rather like a nice guy and a self-proclaimed "nice guy". | |
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| What is a lost soul?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:11:35 PM | Hey Im a lost soul ...
I have been told many many times I am a lost soul and a old soul ... So what I am trying to figure out is ... If I am old and lost then when do I get a cell/marble and find my way ...  ... Where am I going ? Will it take long ? Should I lock up the house ? ... Should I bring a sack lunch ? ...  ... I guess I better huh ? ... I maybe lost and old but I am happy no matter what ...  ...
Seriously ... A lost soul is someone that has gone threw alot of pain in their life and never found a peace inside their soul ...
I read some of the earlier post and it AMAZES me there are so many that judge others and how many different meanings there are to a "Lost soul" ...
I think the guy just needs some time and understanding ... Spend some time with him and learn what he means when he says it cause there is more than one meaning ...
AnglFlyn | |
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