| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:28:08 PM | In a world that sees so much Infidelity and Indecisiveness , is it possible to find a soulmate? It seems like its so hard nowadays to find a mate let alone a spouse that will love you unconditionally till the end....
I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone. Ive seen so many people that are widowed, left for another after 10,20, 30 years- I know I cant be alone when I worry about this question.
Any thoughts because I would love to hear other peoples prespectives...... | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:49:16 PM | I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone.
No, I am not worried at all. To be worried you have no hope. I find being on my own gives me an opportunity to find someone really,,, really special.
By experience I know exactly what I don't want, what I do want, so I and have the exact ideal women in mind. So the new lady in my life will benefit from everything.
It could be so lovely in the future. I’m quite excited to have turned the page. The future is brilliant.
Don't worry, everything will work out fine.
If you worry then you'll be pre-occupied and will make the wrong choice.
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:59:18 PM | | Based on my insight into how we treat our elderly in the USA, if you live to "grow old," odds are you'll have a roommate behind a white curtain (who screams in the middle of the night because of dementia.) You’ll also have some seriously overworked staff members checking your vitals at midnight and 6-am. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 12:05:23 AM | michaela - honey you are only 33 years old!! Quit worrying about growing old alone and just enjoy growing...period.
Use this time out from being in a relationship to learn how to love yourself unconditionally. Sometimes time spent alone is time well spent!
Focus on making a nice life for you and your son right now, and don't worry about finding a soulmate. He will arrive into your life when the time is right. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 1:06:56 AM | Hi Michaela,
I'm 44 going to be 45 next month ( ) am I'm not worried. I am happy with whatever life throws my way. If I meet my soulmate all the better but if not, I'm still having a ball!
If you are desperately seeking someone, the wrong one will come along. Just be happy in your own skin and the rest will eventually fall into place.
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ac1d
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Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 6 | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 1:53:20 AM | Yeah I guess I worry too.
Some people just feel more lonely than others I think. Don't know why really.
I think spirituality and/or religion is what a lot of these people claim helps them. The 'With God you are never alone' thing. Is it nonsense? Maybe. But so is feeling lonely all your life. And look at how many people choose the 'happy meds' option these days... lots. Thats b/s too.
A soulmate is great, but is it a good idea to depend on that to save you from loneliness? People get divorced and croak all the time. Doesn't seem that dependable to me.
I'm pretty sure that most end up alone and with nothing eventually, no matter what. But I'll always have my Bible to read and the Word will always be with me. Maybe thats a bit pathetic to some. And maybe searching for a soulmate in this site is too. But too much navelgazing is definitely pathetic. So I'm done  | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:31:43 AM | Yes, I worry about it, that's not the way I want my life to be.. I'd like to have someone to share life with into old age, I smile everytime I see an elderly couple walking hand in hand, and I wonder if that will ever be me.
one of my married friends shares the same worry, being married does not mean you won't grow old alone, we never know what hand life will deal us next. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:17:23 AM | | I don't know that it is something i worry about but it was not something i ever considered would happen. i thought i would have been married and with kids years ago and never gave a thought to that not happening. i guess for me its an adjustment as to how i am going to live my life right now and planning for the future if i don't meet that mr. right someday. i've seen alot of unhappy couples who i think got married young because that was just the thing to do or she got pregnant and they stay together for the sake of the kids. i sure as hell don't want that! i've also seen alot of people cheat on their mates and wonder is there really anyone out there who stays faithful to their partner anymore? are you better off living your life on your own? i guess its just about meeting the right person at the right time and if it hasn't happened yet then living your life to the fullest right now, so there are no regrets later on! | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 6:11:38 AM | | Nah, it's never too late to find a partner. People in their 60's & 70's date too, ya know? Just because something isn't right at this moment doesn't mean someone won't come along in due time to make you forget about all your concerns. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 6:49:52 AM | YES.
I actually considered creating a similar post!
I look at it like this: if I'm supposed to be a "unique" person, how probable is it going to be that I'm going to find another "unique" person who will, at minimum, be able to put up with me (and I with them) for as long as we are together? Add to that the idea that we should both be attracted to each other, have similar life goals, lifestyles, and to top it all off, they have to be relatively normal too?! And then to come across this person where, in Toronto? What if they happen to live in Mumbai at the moment?
If I were to find someone, even if I were to lose that person to infidelity or horrible circumstances, I would be happy to have at least had love, even if it didn't last. I guess I can say this now, but in that case I don't know if I would mind being alone. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:03:17 AM | I used to, in fact it was one of the reasons I stayed married as long as I did. What a load of crap, there is no place more alone than with someone in a dead relationship. Happiness, lonliness, all of those things are internal emotions. We as a society have gotten love, sex, companionship and all those things muddled outside the normal human condition. Ultimately we are all, always alone, in this life. No one, no one can ever truely know what happens inside someone elses head. We may be with someone, we may both say we see a purple sunset, but is what they see exactly what we do? How do we really know? From the moment of birth to the moment of death we are stuck inside a sigular body. Everything else is just communication.
Seek fulfilment on your own path, embrace the joys and discomforts along the way, and enjoy the times we spend with others who cross our paths. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:15:54 AM | | Yes, very much so but hey I could get married tomorrow but if it is the"""" wrong person""""" for me ,,,,then that would be a death for me,""""" But I hope to meet what I need and spend my last chapter and be kind to one another and stay and be forever young and in love. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:19:01 AM | re the Opost
I agree with Post 3: "Based on my insight into how we treat our elderly in the USA, if you live to "grow old," odds are you'll have a roommate behind a white curtain (who screams in the middle of the night because of dementia.) You’ll also have some seriously overworked staff members checking your vitals at midnight and 6-am."
It applies not only to the US but many other countries around the world. It is a result of the disintergration of families in general, old people living and dying alone (ie not having a partner or even family member or even friends around). A partner does not solve the situation because he/she may in the meantime have passed away or gone away. In other words it is a result of the "nowling alone" society dynamics that exist today in smot of the western world at least.
I have come to terms with this reality. A person is born alone and dies alone, either literally alone or in a bed in some communal or expensive hospital, old persons' home or even home alone. On the other hand I have abandoned by career and many aspects of my personal life in general in the last 3 years to be there and provide or supervise the care of a family member who needs it. And many other people do. But I do not expect to receive that myself.
That does not depress me, on the contrary it makes me want a fuller life now that I can maybe look back later on when I am lying in a hospital or apartment alone if I get the chance to reach 70 or 80.
Good real friends are the key to not being left alone when old, not a partner or even family. But there are no guarantees.
Investing in a partner for fear of not being alone when old does not work. If anything, one can always find a partner when 80 within the other population of the old persons home.
Thus, carpe diem.
PS. Indeed, maybe dementia is a self induced "protection" mechanism. Maybe.
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:40:56 AM | Hi Michaela!
I've put some thought into this question..
I bet when I was 20, I would have thought I'd be lonely if I was'nt married by 40.
I'm not.
Years ago, when a girlfriend passed away from cancer, I was lonely beyond belief, but time passed, I kept friends close, gave myself projests and hobbies and I recovered.
Lonely has (kind of) a negitive conotation to it..
I badly want a partner in my life, but I'm not lonely- I am lucky enough to have a large close-knit group of friends around me, and I know they will be there until I die.
Similarly some people cant live without thier family being at arms reach . My family has spread out all over, starting thier own lives independantly. I see them once a year, and thats ok with me.- And that doesnt mean I love my family any less, or dont love as deeply.
I know too many people who cannot live alone, so they hop from one relationship to the next.. Without ever being truly happy, or independant.
Thats far worse than being alone..
-Good to see you again Michaela!-
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:42:15 AM | Do I worry about growing old alone? ~yes~
Is there anything I can do about it? Not really. I realize it’s a fear that one day I may have to face head on. I refuse to settle for someone that is not right for me. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:44:59 AM | Just wanted to comment on "Fly Higher"
By experience I know exactly what I don't want, what I do want, so I and have the exact ideal women in mind. So the new lady in my life will benefit from everything
This is something that I find that men do. They have Ms. Ideal so vividly stamped in their head, physically and emotionally that it limits them to all possibilities. Really. If a man has an image of his fantasy (we all know what men can fantasize about) embedded in his head...is he going to search forever? Maybe. | |
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:55:45 AM | No I don't worry about that. Why, because I know that there is someone for everyone and that there is someone for me. I know that I will find my best friend, jokester, confidant, incredible lover, partner, and fellow parent. We will laugh and love deeply and enjoy everyday we are blessed to spend enjoying each others company.
micha, you are young and beautiful. You have nothing to worry about.
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| Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone?
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:01:35 AM | To an extent I worry about elderly care and all that, being that I didn't have kids...but that's no reason to have kids. Outside of that I don't really care. While it would be nice to have someone in my life that I really like and want to grow old with, I don't plan on just picking someone random out to date from a fear that I will grow old "alone".
That's what friends, relatives and all that are for. We're only as alone as we want to be in this life...not everything revolves around having an SO. Some of us will end up with one, some of us won't.
Heck I have been alone a long time already, why would I start worrying about it now? | |
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