| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:08:16 PM | Ladies - Do you think "Christian" men are any more ethical in the dating world than men who are not religious? They don't seem to be against sex outside of marriage, drug use, or alcohol any more than the average bear. They even seem to be opposed to the idea of marriage or knowing how to love someone. It makes me think they are only Christians when it is convenient for them, and furthers my belief that often religion is just a joke or used for manipulation. I think some men use the "Christian" label to fool us into thinking they're not just trying to get laid just like any other guy. It is hard for me not to see a self proclaimed Christian man as a fraud or hypocrite when he freely does things that go against his own beliefs. It freaks me out when a man is preaching to me one minute and trying to sleep with me the next, and religion has the same effect on me as a cold shower does.
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:15:03 PM | Op did some Christian man use religion as a way of getting into your victoria secrets?.
Is that what this thread is really about?.
This is your BASH Christian thread, Some poor Christian offended you in some way, Now you want Christians Tarred and feathered here in the forums. Come On Op you're better than that. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:23:10 PM | | Oooh boy is this going to turn into a religion bashing thread. No I don't think christian men are any better then any other type of men. They just believe differently. Truly christian men would not just use the christian label to fool people any more then true muslim , Buddhist , Sikh or jewish men would use the label to fool women. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:30:39 PM |
Oooh boy is this going to turn into a religion bashing thread.
Exactly what I'm thinking.
OP, hypocricy is certainly not limited to one group of people or a particular faith...nor is being an azzhole.
Op did some Christian man use religion as a way of getting into your victoria secrets?.
Is that what this thread is really about?.
You're sooooo bad!  | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:42:04 PM | | My experience has been No, "Christian" men are NOT any more ethical in their dating behavior or standards. Your post is spot-on, MissMewsic | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:44:08 PM | Holy Jihad Batman!
I am voting you off the Island. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:48:25 PM | Perhaps those men of which a few posters speak state 'christian' in their profile but are not living a Christian life?please don't paint all 'Christian' men with the same brush ......just as men of any other faith should not be painted with the same brush.
If you feel that way about them maybe you should stick to non-Christian men. Or maybe meet one who really lives a Christian life and doesn't just use the label as you put it. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:54:02 PM | Well alrighty then.
Shug, I really don't think whether a man is Christian, Buddist, Jewish, et al, means they will be better, or worse.
With that being said, when I was a young adult I was raised Mormon, and I have to say those that are in the young age bracket BACK WHEN, were very polite, and did NOT try to get into my pants. This probably was because the majority of them back then knew that it would be a horrible disgrace to their indoctrined family, thus things remained above board on the first few dates.
Frankly I never dated any of them on a LT basis, so I don't know how they acted past a first or 2nd date.
If you are looking to date someone that is going to respect you, and not do things you don't want them to do, then YOU have to be of the same modeling of those beliefs yourself.
You will then without problem know a guy Christian or not, is really genuine, or just another hound dog, like any other trying to get laid.
Point being, taking on a religious title does NOT make the man. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:04:21 PM | | LMAO - I had a "christian man" who wouldn' t leave me alone. He was looking for a "christian lady" who was "open minded" lmao. I have no idea where he thought that we were in any way a match, lol. No, I don't think self-proclaimed "christian men" are more ethical, they just think they have the right to be "preachy" ...barf............... | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 10:29:11 PM | People use all kinds of tools in an attempt to further their gains in the world. Religion is one of those. Many people use religion as an ego boost and to make others think they are so great and whatnot, when they really aren't. This is the way it's always been (from what I've seen) and I don't see it changing any time soon.
People are individuals. Not everyone is going to act the same way. At all. So I approach people as individuals and wouldn't even dare to apply a single label or belief to everyone just because of a common factor that isn't really tied to anything.
A lot of people claim to be different things. How many of them really are what they claim to be? I know that a lot of people that claim to be religious really don't act like it (well, they do, in church), I know some people that aren't really religious at all and seem far more so than some people that claim to be religious (in the way they behave and all).
None of this is anything new and I don't suspect it's subject to change any time soon. Everyone's a different person, so applying a single label to everyone in a certain group is not going to fly. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 10:35:54 PM | i dint even finish reading ur thread hadda comment immediatly
they r the worst men!!!!
i am a christian woman n i have never seen such cruel n bitter men than i met on a CHRISTIAN site yikes unbelievable
i hadda get offa that site as i was beginning to hate men for real n i DONT HATE MEN
ktw | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 10:58:49 PM | | Being "Christian" is a way of living, not a label. Only knowing a person will let you know if they are truely "Christian". | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:09:34 PM | There are good people and bad people of every background including those that believe themselves to be "religious" whether it is Christianity, Islam, Judaism or any other religion. My pastor as a person leaves something to be desired in terms of behaving in a "Christian" manner but you know, we are all flawed human beings and perhaps it is not appropriate for us to expect someone to be better than others just because they are a Christian or even a minister.
Many people are not very good at living the values they espouse but I think jumping to the notion that men would use their "Christian" status to improve the woman's comfort level in order to maneuver her into bed is a bit of a stretch and I'll leave it at that before I say something tacky.
Anyone that preaches to someone about anything whether it is values based on religion or anything else is not really being respectful of the other person's ideas and views. If someone indicates they are a Christian and chooses not to behave that way I don't really care, that is his/her deal with God and none of my business but I don't have to invite someone into my life who is going to tell me how to live mine.
I have a friend who said he would never be in another relationship with someone that was incapable of communicating but oddly enough, he is terrible in that department. When he is upset, he shuts people out and in other areas, even when he knows that his ideas are futile or do not really make sense, he refuses to change his position so in addition to expressing himself poorly, he has a closed-mind. Does not make him a bad person, just not who he thinks he is.
As in most threads of this nature, just be happy you figured out quickly that the man was not for you Christian or otherwise and move right along. If you were expecting something better because of the box he checked, that is really more your deal than his because you have preconceived ideas about how he should behave. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:41:06 AM | Hey Im a good Catholic Irish girl - dont think my local priest would be impressed if I confessed all though!!
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:03:29 AM | I agree with Trayc and Packagedeal. I can tell everyone I'm a water buffalo but that doesn't make it so. IMHO being a Christian is a way of life not a label you stick on yourself. Some of the most Christian people I've ever known never set food in a church. Some who attend church would kick you in the gut for no reason to get what they want.
I know a "good Christian" woman from this site who rants in her profile about men being such liars and wanting a good honest man, yet she lies about her age and marital status on her profile and encouraged a man I was dating constantly to get rid of me for a bit so she could come over and show him a good time.
My ex was very active in his church all his life and considered himself a good Christian. He would draw lines in his mind and as long as he didn't cross that line, he had done no wrong. He slept naked in a bed with two different women at two different times during our marriage, fondled and made out with them, told me he felt he was in love with them...but didn't consider that cheating or committing adultery. I quit trying to figure it out a long time ago.
I just know I want a good, honest, faithful man who treats his fellow human beings with love (non-sexual, except for me ) and compassion....then I don't care if he's Christian, Muslim, Jewish, whatever.....it's the character I want...not the label.
Happy Fishing!
Rose Mary | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:15:16 AM | I think you were expecting a GOOD Christian. Just because someone labels themselves a certain way does not mean they should be given carte blanche. As a Catholic I will no longer associate Priests with only being good and decent. Allow yourself time to get to know a person before you rush to accept them into your world.
I am sure women have been burned by Iowa farmers and NYC cops, a label tells you very little about the man. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:22:34 AM | | I`m sure its not all of them but I have only met the same ones you seem to to run into .Preaching one min and either lying or badmouthing someone the next. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:28:52 AM |
alcohol any more than the average bear Was not the first miracle Jesus ever did, changing water into wine? Christian Men and Non Christian men want sex. Some are just better at waiting for it.  and furthers my belief that often religion is just a joke or used for manipulation
I think this is less about Christian men and more about the Christian Faith in general, that offends you. You have a right to believe or disbelieve anything you want. And I even agree with you that many Christians that you have or will date, want sex! Yet, as another in this thread has stated. 'You paint with a broad brush'.
Thank You for this thread. I love the many differing responses.
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 11:10:43 AM | IMO Just because your a christian....does that mean we're not supposed to like sex or even think about it....so many years people have tried to yoke us up "us" as in people who are believers....put limits on everything....It is not a christian issue ...it is an issue to people that know your a christian.....I have met both believer and non believer and it is an individual thing...has nothing to do with being a "christian"......Angel | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:02:53 PM | i dont care what religion they are they are always going to try to get what they want its exciting for them | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:16:05 PM | | I think some people put their religion on their profile because they do follow it. Others use it as a way to get what they want, a cover. I know one man who pretends he is holier then thou but get to know him and he's a bitter, angry man who uses people. Thats just wrong! Some people use religion to make them seem like they are a good person but its not who they are. Some people really are the Christian or whatever religion they say and really would like someone who believes as they do. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:06:08 PM | No this is not a "Christian bashing" thread. I am just trying to understand. I am just trying to see if I was stupid for believing that a man could be real and have integrity for a change. I do not present myself as a Christian on dating sites because I don't buy into everything the church teaches. So if I laid claims to being a Christian that would make me a hypocrite. Yes, Christians have needs too - but they shouldn't eat the fruit if they are not willing to tend to the garden. That leads to hurting other people and how Christ like is that? The church teaches that fornication is wrong, but in a perfect world I would already have a loving husband and that wouldn't be an issue. I believe that God forgives the lonely for wanting love, companionship, and those physical needs (that he gave us to begin with). Men just seem to acquire them under false pretenses.
I have been a church pianist for years, but have been pretty embarrassed by other Christian's behavior. I believe in Christ's teachings, but I am not going to let church dictate and run my life or pass judgement on me. People in the church do not know what it is like to go through life alone - and the church does not really know how to minister to singles - especially older single women. I have been told in the past not to date men who are not Christian if I am looking for someone for commitment, LTR, and marriage. To me it doesn't matter if they are or aren't as long as they are a good person.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want a guy who acts like a monk and someone who is not romantically interested in me, but I also don't want someone who decides after a month or so of being hot and heavy to conveniently send me this -
"What you said about love, you find love through God, not another man. I do know that it would make it easier to love when we have that special person in our lives but the bible tells us that we should focus on God, let him fill our cup, and through Him show love to others." I guess his cup must still be empty, because after his 2 divorces he doesn't seem to be capable of expressing love. My cup runneth over with love - I'm just tired of guys drinking from it and not filling it back up. lol
I just expressed an interest in planning a romantic weekend get away or traditional friday night date, heck even watching a sunset, going for a walk, etc. and that is asking too much? But playing music together or having sex was perfectly acceptable to him? , But he said friends with benefits would be ok with him? and yet he called me on his lunch break to say hi just about every day?
It seems the minute your expectations in a "Christian" person to love become apparent they go and hide behind "You should be getting your love from God and not from another human". What the heck is he doing on a dating site looking for love if he gets all he needs from God? Why do Christians get married, fall in love, want commitment from each other? This all further reinforces my thinking Christianity is all a bunch of convenient lies people use to hide behind. I've seen more loving behavior from an athiest than I've seen from Christian men.
I don't care what they say they are - I just expect them to live up to their OWN expectations. If they say they are a Christian, then they better be at least trying to act Christ like? WWJD? I don't think he would be looking for sex with no commitment on dating sites. | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:30:52 PM | I don't see this as Christian bashing at all just a reality check....
I grew up a Christian in the Catholic Church since grammar school thru college at BC..... go figure
I can say from my experience thus far, some of the worse pervs were so called "Christians"...( ask any alter boy *smirk*)
Also the worse bigots here in Boston never miss a Sunday in church to pat themselves on the back and assure themselves what great "Christians" they are...
There are too many hypocrites and people wearing that label as some holier than thou badge of honor..when in fact they are no better than anyone else...
The preachy ones are laughably the worse... Jimmy Swaggert anyone? | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:19:13 PM |
Hey Im a good Catholic Irish girl - dont think my local priest would be impressed if I confessed all though!!
Everybody knows confessionals were invented to give priests masturbation material. A good catholic girl contributes to her church. lol | |
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| Christian Men
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:57:50 PM | | Waiiiit a second. Wait a sec. Not every christian is a devout one.But not every christian is a fraud either. | |
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