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 Sydney Sam
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 1
Do women get turned off divorced men???Page 1 of 1    
Hi there…

Do Women get turned off men who are divorced?

It’s been 9 months since my wife and split up…. (No kids)

I want to start dating again but I worry when my date brings up the question, when was your last serious relationship?

I don’t have any female friends to confide in…

So I would really appreciate any advice that u can provide for me….
 burnleybabe
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 2
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:08:38 AM
This is really going to come down to each woman's particular preference. Some women would never date a divorcee. Other women, like myself, don't care, as long as there has been a clean break and ex-wife is not constantly butting into the picture.

Be sure before you start to date again that your ex is really out of your system. Nobody likes to be second place.


Hey, I got just a big a problem...I haven't been in a relationship for about 10 years....hard to figure out how to make that less of a big deal...
 Sydney Sam
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 3
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:14:14 AM
Thanks Burnley...

The break was very clean... she moved back to Italy and im sure we'd never see each other again...

Hmmm 10 years... wow...

This the first time iv been single since iv been 16....

So im a little nervous... cheers again
 MarionMystery
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 4
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:26:53 AM
A man being divorced isn't a turn off for me, unless he's been divorced two or more times. Some women are ok with a man who is divorced, some won't touch a divorced man. It just depends on the woman.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:43:14 AM
Not turned off at all... provided that he's emotionally ready to be in a new relationship. I was married for just over 8 yrs, with him for a total of 10 and I wasn't mentally or physically ready to date anyone for 2 yrs. Take the time you need to heal before you jump in the deep end.
 bbwhmk
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 6
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:44:14 AM
I think for me I wonder...why? what happened...was there anyone who cheated?
I also worry since I am at a point where I want to start a family, with the right person, and a man who has just come out of a serious relationship such as marriage is not likely interested in jumping right back into another one even if we are compatable.
Also statistically people who have gotten divorced once are more likely to do it again. All of this makes me hesitant to date a divorced man. Sadly my options would be practically nil though since it seems most people in my age bracket have already finished their "starter" marriage..so I go forward with caution.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 7
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Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 11:23:33 AM
I like divorced men to date, the truth is I am scared of men who are never married, my girlfriends thinks I am silly st*pid, why I want a man who has to pay child support , ready made family, I have to share his property with his kids etc..a 45 or 50 plus never been married ? I asked a date if he was a monk before, and he was not ,he only does not have time to get married and this guy at work 53 he said he just shuck with women. My fear is they may be gay.. Hmm ,I like a ready made family, a divorce man with 10 kids and they are living with him is heaven for me.
 x-rayTechGirl
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 8
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 11:51:44 AM
It depends how many times he have had a divorce.

one time divorce..is okey

two times divorce....uh oh something wrong

third time divorce.....run, X-ray tech G,run.

over all..im going to ask what's the caused of failed marriage.
 Boadicea
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 9
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:30:34 PM
Most men that I meet in my age bracket are divorced so for me it's really not an issue. I woud pay attention as to why the marriage broke down eg affairs and I would also be very wary of someone who slagged of the ex on a regular basis, I dont like bitter men it's most unattractive.
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 10
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:33:41 PM
It really wouldn't be a big deal for me, depending on why the divorce happened. Also, the number of times they've been divorced is a factor. One I can understand, but more than that? He has some issues.
 Pers14
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 11
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:53:06 PM
It's 3 years since my divorce, and I'm just now feeling ready to date. I wanted to get my emotional house in order before I contemplated another relationship. :) Otherwise, the ex is like a ghost, IMHO.
 bohochick
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 12
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:23:48 PM
I prefer to date men who ARE divorced. So you were married and it didn't work out, happens to the best of us. Most people learn from their mistakes and the next time they will be a better partner.

I won't date any man who is separated, and I get irritated when they say they are divorced and the divorce isn't even final yet, so you might want to reassure them in your e-mails that it really is over. I think any man my age who has never been married must have something wrong with them!

Good luck!
 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 13
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:26:57 PM
I personally value the institution of marriage pretty highly and don't believe in divorce so I wouldn't want to date someone who is divorced. I want a LTR and don't think a LTR works with people who have opposite values when it comes to something big like this.
 ml456
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 14
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:30:59 PM
Being divorced is not an automatic dealbreaker. It would depend on the reasons why he is divorced. Did he cheat on his wife? Was it simply a case of 2 people no longer being compatible?
 danni1981
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 15
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:11:10 PM
I personally don't get turned off... but hey, I may be biased because I'm divorced myself. But people should realize that just because your divorced, it does not mean that you are someone that doesn't take marriage seriously! In my case, it wasn't my choice to get a divorce.... my ex husband met someone else and well... you can fill in the blanks. I even tried to save the marriage but he didn't want any part of it. You can't make someone want to be with you, so what could I do?? Give him the divorce! Anyone who can't get past the fact that you had a divorce, isn't the right person for you! I am always upfront and honest right at the beginning, as soon as I am asked about past relationships because I realize it is a deal breaker for some people. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who judged me because of it anyways. Hope that helps!! From one divorcee to another ;)
 RhondakFloridaArtist
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 16
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:29:41 PM
I don't think women get turned off by divorced men. They get turned off by baggage. Baggage might be kids..when the parents are tussling they may call it "love" but to the outsider you just want to run to see it. Sometimes there are still issues...but it would be the same for a bad breakup.

Some people consider a first marriage anymore a starter marriage you survived and got over and maybe got wiser.

Key: Do not bash the X no matter how much they deserve it. Woman wonder why you'd date someone so bad. Provide information on a slower, need to know basis. Your date likely has worse men she dated. Usually the playing field is equal...but letting out too much info isn't.

Let them know when you tell them the story, it is because they are the special person you tell. It isn't a story you carry but one you've let go of.
 Oriole
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 17
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:33:23 PM
No, I love divorced men. But I like them better when they have teenaged kids and they're fixed. They're the best, because they're not after getting married and having kids. Plus hopefully they're a little wiser for the wear.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
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Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 5:27:58 PM
Women are usually ok with divorced men, but may have a problem with men who aren't exactly honest - if I met a man who was single and found out he was divorced I might reconsider talking to him. Your profile says "single". If you've been married, you are no longer single you are divorced. If your divorce isn't final, then you are separated. You should be more clear about it....

As for men who are divorced and I know they are, I have no problem with it, as long as he's actually over the experience and healthy to date, and there's not too much drama involved in dating him with and ex (and possibly children).
 nodorks
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 19
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 5:58:55 PM
Divorce is nothing new. I would not get turned off unless you were a deadbeat dad. Nothing spells scrumptious like a good father. (or father-figure/role model).
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 20
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Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:56:13 PM
Aren't there just a bout as many divorced women as men?

IF a woman is consumed with stereotype do you really need the headache?
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 21
Do women get turned off divorced men???
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:46:12 PM
I don't, though I'd be iffy on dating someone who'd only been divorced (or split, at least; I care less about the actual finalization) for nine months. I've dated divorced people (and single fathers, for that matter), and have no issue with it.
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