| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:18:20 AM | You meet someone that you get along great with, a few dates later you decide to be intimate. You fully expect to hear from him the next day or the day after at the latest. No phone call...nothing!!! How would you feel??? Would you ever see this person again. I had this recent experience and am totally appalled.
Guys what goes thru your heads??? Does courtesy exist??? Then if and when they do call, of course I am pissed and they wonder WHY??? | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:25:26 AM | Some guys use internet dating sites as ways to be players when they can't be like that in real life. They will say the lovey dovey things just as long as it takes to get you in the sack.
Or maybe he thought you were bad at sex? | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:27:55 AM | OP, It goes WAY beyond courtesy.
Maybe wait a bit longer than the third date before sleeping with someone you hardly know. I'm guessing you gave him what he wanted. Some guys just want sex. Perhaps he was one of them. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:29:35 AM | Racer you are a true gentleman, unfortunately in these days of fast foods, speed dating etc. nobody seems to find the time to be curtious...ever hold a door open for someone, chances are you will not be thanked for it...its just a sign of the times. Hold out until you really get to know these fellas before doing the deed. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:29:56 AM | Girl I know I would feel bad if I were expecting a call. However, I have learned not to expect anything when dating. You have sex only if you want and call if you want. Don't have sex to get anything in return but sex. Expecting gets you disappointed. Maybe I am jaded though.  | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:39:32 AM | There is nothing wrong with getting physical quickly if the chemistry is there.
All well and good, but that ends up spawning threads such as this one. And there have been many.
If you are going to be horny & have sex with a virtual stranger then you should also prepare yourself before hand that you may not hear from them again.
Choose your sex partners wisely.
And OH YES...This IS a deal breaker.
Sorry it happened OP, but if you should hear from him please let us know. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:43:16 AM |
Racer you are a true gentleman, unfortunately in these days of fast foods, speed dating etc. nobody seems to find the time to be curtious...ever hold a door open for someone, chances are you will not be thanked for it...its just a sign of the times. Hold out until you really get to know these fellas before doing the deed.
I was taught courtesy all my life. I was taught to be a gentleman. And I have also learned the hard way too, I have seen too many of my female friends go through hell with their significant other... beaten, abused, and one even murdered by her husband. Maybe it's just me, but I believe in courtesy and being a gentleman to a lady. And if she goes as far as "doing the deed" with me, I'm certainly going to at the very least call... whether the sex was good or bad. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:56:17 AM |
Msg: 8 -- rules should be displayed before the game starts.
There are no rules except for what you make on your own. Mine is simply to expect the worst and hope for the best. I normally get what I expect, but on rare occasion I am pleasantly surprised. | |
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JRnSC
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 13 | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:21:11 PM | | Something about it just didnt work for him and guys dont like to be the 'bad guy'. Really, who wants to deliver that kind of message when the silence says it all? It's not like you were together for months. It may not feel good but wouldnt it feel worse if he HAD called and actually verbalized it? I promise you that you will live and probably be glad later when you find someone that exceeds your longing. Be well. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:28:59 PM | What deal? There was no deal...... You met, you went out, you slept together, he never called again......
Happens all the time.... according to all the threads about it..... And yes, you have to take responsibility for your part in it. No one made you sleep with him... No one said he'd ever have to speak with you again.....
Might wanna ask yourself how well you "know" someone after a few dates. Really......
There's no "blame" in this. It is what it is.... and it may not be the last time it happens, so figure out your part in it and what you can do to change that. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:43:19 PM | if someone doesn't want a relationship any longer, something to say goodbye is always the most respectful way of handling things, imo
and yes, if someone did this to me and then tried to contact me again later for a "date" (without a reasonable explanation - like his arms had dropped off and his feet had become rooted to the ground while his mouth fused shut...) then i would consider it a "deal breaker" as to whether or not i saw him again | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:06:00 PM | I am a bit curious about your title, what was the deal? You have
Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Has he contacted you since and you don't want to see him any more because he didn't contact you the next day? Or has he forgotten all about you?
I agree read the threads. There are men that will go out with you and when they have sex, that is the last you hear from them. That old notch on the bedpost still holds true today as it did in the past.
Online dating is different than dating someone from your neighborhood, school or church. People can and do disappear from your life pretty quickly.
Some people make rules for themselves to follow so that they don't sleep with someone to quickly or before they really know the person. But only you can decide when you think the time is right, when you think you know the other person.
I am sorry for what happened to you. Good luck in the future. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:09:48 PM | Deal breaker? It sounds like he already got what he wanted, and kicked you to the curb.
Another one bites the dust. When will women realize that putting out does not a
relationship make?
What a catch he sounds like- OPs other posts today, she's been busy
the place he chooses to take you is a 'take out' eatery.....no tables., no where to sit! You kindly suggest going somewhere else that has tables.......his response...Meh..as long as we have food, we can just sit on the parking Pilons
Had a recent experience where i was quite surprised that after he just basically rolled over and fell asleep snoring!
I would love him to get to know me as a person first and then explore the intimacy side. The reality is, I have yet to meet such a person......usually it happens quite early on | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:21:12 PM | | It is just this sort of scenario that scares the you know what out of me. When I was younger I didn't think anything about getting into a sexual situation very quickly. Now I take things very cautiously because my emotions are attached to my body and I don't want to get hurt. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:23:26 PM | Girl,
If you haven't, go read "Why Men Marry ****es" - I seriously hated the title of the book when I first heard about it, but it is THE book to understand why you have to delay intimacy as much as possible with the normal, typical guy. There ARE guys out there who will overlook the intimacy factor and still chase after you - but those are few, and the more "sensitive" or emotional types.
By in large, the guy you were with got bored - since the chase is over, he got what he wanted. :( I'm so sorry to tell you that... it is partially that men are pigs, but it's more that men are hunters.. and just like caveman instinct, if you are too easy, then there is nothing to go after anymore.
I have been going through almost the same exact thing in the past few weeks.. but thankfully there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. We definitely went through a rough patch. Give him space - that's what I did, literally tell him you don't want to see him anymore (for a while) and see how he reacts. If he doesn't want you back.. well, you got your answer. But if he does come back, then he'll realize you are worth going after. Good luck. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:24:24 PM | | To OP..why don't you call him?..maybe he is thinking the same thing..maybe he is waiting for you to call..do you think you are special..that you dont need to call a guy after you've had sex?..and please dont come with the "Its the guy who is suppose to call" Bull Shit..save.. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:34:26 PM | Did you two ever discuss your plans to proceed as a couple... being exclusive?... even plans for the next weekend?
I'm sorry you were disappointed in his lack of interest, but it isn't fair to expect something he never agreed to.
Chances are you were afraid to bring it up... that if you just put out, everything would fall nicely into place.
It doesn't work like that, and I'm so sorry for what you must be feeling. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 2:49:36 PM | | Unless a man specifically mentioned that he would call, why should it be a man's job to call a woman after having sex. If a woman is interested in a man, then call him. If she doesn't call him, then she has no business complaining about him not calling her. It's a 2 way street. One time I had sex with a woman after a second date and she actually called me the next day. | |
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| Speaking of deal breakers...Do you consider this to be one??
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:08:04 PM | | My mom always told me that you only get hurt when your expectations dont get met. If you wanted to be with him as a couple then you should make that known upfront, and call him, the phone works both ways! I had a guy do that once to me and I was mad and even went out with someone else the next night!! (mistake BTW) But he called me the next day and I found out he had got called into work and was just not able to call, he was telling the truth. But turned out the relationship didn;t work and one of the reasons was his lack of respect for people! LOL! The things you learn about people!! | |
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