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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 1 | |
| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:56:06 PM | *
Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events. Questions from a new host.
With the first POF event I am hosting only a few short days away I am considering some comments I've received about hugging. I have attended only one POF event, elsewhere.
I understand that at some POF events in other communities the male hosts greet all the women with hugs. 
I've not heard what women hosts do at their events. Do they greet all the men with hugs?
As this is the first such event in my community most of the guests will be newbies at POF events and it is likely most will not have met the majority of the other guests. I know only a mere of those that signed up.
Personally I'm a big fan of hugging. I have organized a large non-POF event, a reunion where I hugged all 150 of the guests (men and women). Some I knew from many years ago and some I knew only through public or personal email correspondence. However that event was vastly different from a POF event.
So of the women and men who have hosted and/or attended POF events (and even those who haven't) I ask:
Should I hug all the women when they arrive?
Should my female co-host hug all them men when they arrive?
Your other comments and suggestions on this topic would be appreciated also.
As it is relevant, if you are responding to this topic please also tell us if you have or have not been to a POF event.
PS. If you wonder why I'm not providing the exact details of the event, it is both inappropriate and in violation of the rules.
I thank you for responses.
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 2:46:50 PM | | Personally I don't think some folks..especially people who are attending for the first time are looking for hugs from strangers. Alot of people consider this invasion of their personal space.A warm hello, a friendly smile, and perhaps a welcoming handshake would be just as if not more then welcomming folks to an event.If you have chatted to this person at length or met them before I am sure you will know if they would enjoy a hug from you or not.Just because folks are from POF does not mean they are all big huggers nor may they appreciate being hugged by a stranger and might turn them off and others they tell about it from being comfortable to attend another event.I personally am a warm and out going person, but still would not want a hug from someone I did not know except from a picture on a dating site My two cents worth and I am sure there will be plenty of debate about wether this is wrong or right. PS Yes I have been to some events....and no the host/hostess did not hug me :) | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:04:09 PM | I am with behindthescenes, although I have never been to an event.
If you are really concerned... you could simply ask "may I give you a hug?"
I aso think that a woman host would be more likely to hug either sex; if she was a "touchy-feely" kinda person. | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:24:06 PM | OR don't sweat it so much
the hosts are not really obligated to greet arriving 
there is no right or wrong for either host or co-host, male or female
first of all you have to be yourself
if you are a warm heated personality or it is your cultural back ground,then by all means hug all you can
and if you are not or uncomfortable then extend the warmest and friendliest greeting you can .
In my experience on events, I do hug as many people as I can and I have had not a single negative comment to this day. Specially many people who are shy or new seem to open up when they receive a real warm welcome and I believe that also sets them up to have more fun. During the event I also look for those who look a bit lost or intimidated and approach them with a pad on the shoulder or even a quick hug and chat a bit or even "drag" them out for a dance.
I view the hosting as being every ones "friend for the evening", but no ones special friend in particular, though one cannot give every one equal time and there are many 'old' friends who may get more attention.
My co-hostess(es) usually greet the men with or without a hug whatever is comfortable for them.
Of course, there may always be a person who may not like a friendly casual welcome hug or persons who seek to interpret my actions as this or that. It cannot be helped, part of every one being a little different.
OR if the compassion you show here on the forums is reflected by your conduct hosting you'll have a lot of new admirers, I'm sure
 and good luck
PS
don't forget tho, not to whisper your home address and other intimacies into the gals ears when hugging them for the first time...you may not be able to take care of them all | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 4:14:57 PM | | I have been to many POF events in the lower mainland and was only hugged by those I already knew or at least "knew" through forums and had developed some level of friendship with. I would not have been comfortable being hugged by someone that I have never even talked to before though. That is just me though. I am only comfortable with receiving or giving hugs to certain people. | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:09:40 PM | the hosts are not really obligated to greet arriving
I guess the Admin hasn't yet published the Shoe Polishing Requirement Issue ... 
If you wonder why I'm not providing the exact details of the event, it is both inappropriate and in violation of the rules.
Do whatever is socially appropriate under the Circumstances, but don't grope them at POF Events if that is what you usually do ... lol
If you don't know the Person, its usually not a good Idea. Observe Responses, and if someone approaches you raising their Arms in the Direction of such a Gesture, then go for it. | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:15:54 PM | | If the host/hostess are not required to meet and greet, what type of things is it that they do ? I realize they post the event , get in touch with the venue etc. but I must have misunderstood cause I thought host/hostess's welcome people, make them feel welcome, introduce them to other POF people and that type of things? Just wondering ? | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:31:13 PM | behindthescenes
you may find more information in the "Hosting a Event" thread posted by admin
Planning on Hosting a Event? Things you need to Know
generally the host makes arrangements with the venue, posts the announcement, answers questions from fish and attends the event, all else is done voluntarily and I guess a matter of courtesy by the host(s)
are great
VVVV
ooooppssss curtsy ..lol
dunno if I'm well liked, don't matter really, all that matters is people get out and have fun, when they do I 'm happy. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 11 | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:35:12 PM | hey.....errrr...so body slamming one into the wall and doing a
tonsil search isnt the norm....i may have been at the wrong venue
just a handshake and a glow bracelet for me thanks
hugging...ewwwwww | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:17:26 PM | I think hugs are great, but newbies are nervous enough at their first event, I don't think they should be "required" to hug the host. A friendly smile will sufice. Unless, as a poster above me said, if the guest is showing signs of wanting a hug, they by all means, sacrifice yourslef (lol) and give the lady a hug. lol No tongue though, ok? | |
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Xavery
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Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:46:40 PM | Hugs are okay, but really when I go to my first POF event maybe next month. I expect the male host to curtsy. I mean some on it is only common curtesy. I also think it would be helpful if the male host would cross dress.
OR - if it were me, I would be more worried about what to wear. | |
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Xavery
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Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 8:31:26 PM |
Just dont take hosting too seriously,OR, and make sure you have fun and dance your ass off all night too....the hosts I know love to mingle and have fun and dance with the guests...dont stand at the door all night....get out there and boogie woogie {/quote]
I think he can do this, but will he curtsy and what will he wear? These things remain to be seen. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 18 | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:20:46 PM | If someone I didn't know came at me for a hug my ninja training would take over and I'd probably flip him/her on their ass. No thank you, not unless invited.
I have been to one POF event so far and the host was charming and greeted us warmly with a smile. That was completely appropriate and appreciated. | |
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| Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:23:27 AM | I do not think it is a good idea to hug people you don't know. I find newbies are intimidated enough when arriving at an event for the first time and since you have lots of newbies, I say forget the hugs except for people you have gotten to know well through the event thread chit chat etc.
There is lots of hugging that goes on at fish events but for me, it is almost always between me and fishie friends.
I was hugged once by some inebriated male that I had never met before and my hair was left reeking of his cologne. Being sensitive to scented products, all I wanted to do was go home and wash my hair to get the smell out.
It isn't POF policy to greet people at the door, but it is commonly practiced at the events in Metro Vancouver and I think it is important. I have had many newbies tell me that if I hadn't greeted them at the door, they would have turned around and fled.
For Mountain Lion 1's next event, we will make sure he has his shoes shined and try to get a picture of him curtsying.  | |
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