Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 marianina_1
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 1
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?Page 1 of 1    
Hi guys. How would a guy's behaviour towards a woman change if he was becoming attached? I've been in touch with this guy by IM and phone for months now and I feel his tone and questions are changing. We have met a few times, but it was the wrong time for him to start a relationship as he was getting divorced and had all sorts of practical things to sort out before getting into anything else. He is nearly through this process now. He says the emotional side of it was over ages ago, it was just the practicalities. His tone seems to have changed now and he seems more relaxed and wants to meet again. I have the impression he is developing feelings for me, but don't want to deceive myself. He might not be, of course. Is there any way you'd expect his behaviour to change? He's never been a very emotional person, is very rational, so I wouldn't expect any declaration of emotions. What indications do you think I should look for? I'd be interested to see what you come up with. Thanks in advance.
 Kish-Mish
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 2
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:13:42 PM
if he's "constantly" keen to communicate with you and wants see you "regularly" doing both without you initiation both requests, he is most likely attached!
 Thunderstorms62
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 3
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:50:07 PM
He sounds somewhat stoic to me based on what you related.
Without breaking out a list I would generally say that an increased
interest in you would be indicative of a developing attachment.
Give the tide from the divorce a chance to recede.
 flybuttersocial
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 4
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:59:27 PM
You've been speaking to him for months, were you expecting him not to get closer?
He could be attached via ideal an conversation, I would think it would take more to become attached. Now if he's telling you he loves you already and he wants to shower you with gifts and overt affection, that's attachment.
 blueeyesinmo
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 5
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:51:24 PM
There's a major change in status that he's approaching. That means the whole dynamic of your relationship might be affected. It's time to have a heart to heart chat and speak frankly about the issues that you're wondering about.
 druminky
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 6
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:08:24 PM
As I've said before....when I'm interested, a woman knows it. I'm in contact with her, and she feels I want to do so regularly. When I lose interest, she hears less and less from me....fewer e-mails, fewer phone calls. I make less of an effort to see her. However, I try very hard to be honest with myself, and if I feel myself losing interest, I tell her ASAP so she won't waste time & effort on me. Backing off while maintaining some communication is pretty much the "let's keep you as an option at best" scenario.....which is not cool. Conversely, if I want to escalate things, I increase all of the above. Feminine intuition usually picks up on my intentions way before I'm aware.
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 7
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:42:57 PM
OP: Don't believe any of these fortune cookie cowboys. Keep your own counsel. Don't put all your cards on the table, ever. Keep your own dignity and independence, always. Don't fall for some tell-tale behavior. No bets are guaranteed. That's why we call them bets. Be good to yourself. Take the love, as it comes, enjoy it 100 percent, but assume the only love that's true is you taking care of yourself. His smile is a bonus. His sweet talk is a joyful thing. And if he comes back tomorrow, well, break open a bottle. But, don't read more into anything than what it is. In my upscrewed opinion.
 hughmanwho
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 8
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:48:08 PM
Reguarly contact is good, and it's good that he seems to be relaxing, both seem to be signs. Another big sign would be if he introduces you to friends or family and people who are close in his life, it means he wants it to be a long term thing.
If you think he may be feeling closer you might want to just talk to him about it.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/27/2008 3:52:35 AM
Remember he has just gone through the process of divorcing. I personally admire someone that finalizes a relationship before they get involved with someone else, to do otherwise is unhealthy. It may be better not to expect too much from him at this time, I am sure there are closure issues that will take place. You should not be so impatient to think the change in behavior is related to changes he is feeling about you at this time. It may just be relaization that he is free to pursue other intrests now. As he told you it was the wrong time to get involved in the past, now he may be ready or maybe he needs time to acknoledge his freedom. Either way you seem to like him, I would suggest to just let him be himself and you do the same. No preconcieved notions just take it one day at a time till open communications can occur between the two of you and take what is said between the two of you with worth.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/27/2008 7:59:01 AM
The biggest sign is that he wants to spend more time with you.
 *SusieQ
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 11
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:35:45 AM
I agreed with everything you said Heptone, except this

but assume the only love that's true is you taking care of yourself.


OP..def a man becoming attached is more contact, and when he ditches the drinks with the boys after football...
 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 12
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:44:36 AM

OP..def a man becoming attached is more contact, and when he ditches the drinks with the boys after football...
I fail to see how maintaining contact with male friends is an indication. That she might encourage this behaviours is not a good sign at all, and that you can only expect it only to get worse as her expectations become more and more vocalised and difficult/oppressive, and if a man continues toward submissive behaviours it will enable hers.
 DietCoke┬«Guy
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 13
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 7:34:25 AM
1. When you look out the window at night and see him there with binoculars
2. You hear a series of "clicks" when you pick up the phone
3. The mail in the mail box is all wrinkled, as if exposed to steam
4. He shows up for the second date holding a small velvet box, wearing a suit
5. He is constantly supplying you with skin lotion in the basket he lowers into the pit
 notyouravgjoe
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:48:15 AM
You were nice to him during his separation process, and so, were a source of emotional support then as well. He likely feel an attachment for you from this. Nothing wrong with it.. however he is also likely on the rebound, looking to connect with someone, to heal himself from the beating the ego and soul takes in a separation. If he is in contact he is interested... but as has and will be said.. Communicate. ASK him what he is thinking. It can be hard for some people to open up, but in order to be a good partner they need to be able to effectively communicate how they feel....

g'luck in the fishing
 *SusieQ
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 15
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:24:21 AM
Oh lighten up andalusiajoey, he still see's his friends all the time..he chose to come to mine instead of going out for drinks after football..twas a lovely gesture and not one I'd keep expecting him to do..nor let him do...and actually last night he was out in the town, wanted to come back to mine at 10.30pm..and I told him no way, to stay out and enjoy himself and in turn he took it quite thick..and we had our first argument..so don't just assume I'm one of those girls that don't like their men going out...I wouldn't give up my nights out so I sure as heck don't expect him to.

Geez there are so many hurt bitter people on these forums..
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:33:44 AM
Hi
I have found that people can be in a marriage where the emotional side, as you say, ended long ago.
But, during the divorce process, for some reason, a lot of emotions are 'kicked' up again. It is similar to accepting the illness, of a friend, so to speak, and going on with your life....but when it comes to the funeral, it will open the door to many feelings, some you were able to express, some not.

If he is feeling more relaxed, and indeed wants to spend time with you...if you can take it easy, and let it all unfold, it may have great potential for you. For the both of you.

On another note.... a practical man is hard to find, and it really is a good thing.
Emotionality is highly over rated. Most of the herd is populated with blubbering emotional car wrecks. They are easy to find.

Things usually happen just as they should...we really don't have to, nor should we need to push and shove anything in any particular direction other than where it's headed.

Enjoy the unfolding.

regards
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kimbo
 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 17
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:47:41 AM
" How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?"

If he comes to your house and starts pissing on your furniture, that might be a sign.

You get out the shower and see him sitting there on your toilet, with roses and bon bons.

You wake up at 3 in the morning and see him sitting by your bed staring at you with a puppy dog look in the dark. But he was not in your house when you went to bed...That might be a sign.

If you take him to the mall and he offers to carry your purse..... That might be another sign.

If he introduces you to his friends as "The only woman I will ever love" that might well be another sign.

There are a lot more "signs" one can look for, but start with those listed above, And you too will be able to detect if some just might be getting"attached".
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:45:36 AM

Geez there are so many hurt bitter people on these forums.


Yeah. That's why we have time to be on the forums.


OP: Stop looking for signs, and just ask the guy.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 19
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:20:03 PM
OP, what you're seeing is he is finally becoming mentally ready to date again after a divorce. That's why his tenor is changing. He's becoming more interested now that he's basically detached emotionally from his previous life. That's good, BUT now that he's really ready to date again, he might start looking at other women too. It would be unusual for someone to fall for the first few women with whom he has attached after a divorce. He might, but he might also find himself wanting to see what else is out there as he continues to go through the process of forging a new life. Hope it works for you (and it might), but exercise a little caution (not a wall though) in this situation.
 lookingLTR
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 20
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:46:09 PM
why not go out with him and see?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:56:37 PM
Geez... I guess when he brings ... flowers?
Chocolates? Invites you out to a candlelight dinner? I' m serious.
Sometimes, girls think guys are interested just because a guy is IM'ing. whoopee do, that is so overwhelming...
He's so into me because he calls and texts a lot. Wow. Yahoo. great...
I am overwhelmed...

Come on. The best signs are usually the old fashioned tried and true:
Flowers, chocolates, dinner... him asking you out... giving you gifts... Spending time with you doing what you like best? I mean, even birds give their partners colorful gifts all the time...
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?