| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:24:46 AM | Hello fellow POF'ers
I havent been on POF very long, week or so. And, it seems to me
that, well the guys that Ive met so far and not all just some, want
to jump from Hi to meet/sex. Is that normal? What ever happened
to talking finding out about the other person, getting to know them
a little to see if meeting would be enjoyable, then see if there is
something. Seems to me that in this day and age, things are too
instant...give me the slow lane :)
comments? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:32:25 AM | Sorry Dear, but there are a whole lot of threads on this topic and it is discussed to great length and in horrible detail all over the forums. Chances are pretty high that this could get deleted. Now if you were asking for instructions on how to go from 'Hi to Bed' as fast as possible. Now that maybe a question that ... oh your profile answers that :-)
Anyway, for you... your profile says pretty clearly:
Since I'm not the typical female ( I hate shopping especially for shoes,
I dont nag and wont refuse sex!)
It's not a big leap to figure out why. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:36:09 AM | | I"m a guy and I would agree. Some of us are very guilty of thinking with our penises too much. I myself don't share the same sentiment. I'm all for getting to know a female. Keep looking, you'll eventually find someone who's not in that category. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:43:27 AM | op, after reading your profile i would venture a guess that it's very normal behavior for a man who has read it. in your profile you don't mention the slow lane, but instead say this
I dont nag and wont refuse sex!
for different results, you might reconsider that particular line in your profile
best wishes,
leslie
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:45:06 AM | | Law of average is in their favor,,,So do not do what they want as we teach people how to treat us, | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:48:54 AM | | If you want more than you have to present yourself as someone that wants and deserves more. Your profile isn't helping. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:49:06 AM | | maybe you are just that hot ....;)it seems more normal today (f#%$ buddies) than years ago but the only way to change that attitude is to keep living with your dare i say it "morals" and teach them to other people. as i say to my kids.. "the world is full of di## heads and givin time and opportunity you will meet them, just be you and don't let the world change your standards.(the good ones) | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:52:57 AM | Oh my goodness, I didnt notice that, and your so right.
That will be changed asap.
:) thanks | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:27:44 AM | There is simply not enough blood supply in the male body.......
to think clearly with both heads at once. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:32:56 AM | I'm not sure why they are doing that. I read your profile and I don't want to go to bed with you.
But hi & welcome to POF. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:39:14 AM | | Nice bit about the blood supply-although I believe Viagra can help the lower extremity(!) Hope everything works out!! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:06:42 AM |
Law of average is in their favor,,,So do not do what they want as we teach people how to treat us,
Not just the law of averages, but a numbers game. Players aren't afraid to give out their number. They know what they want, and how to get it. The more times they say it, the higher the probablity of getting the brass ring.
I focus on something else, and I am happily single. Not many women can deliver the goods to me, so I can afford to wait. I don't need casual sex, and evidently not many women are players, because I haven't been propositioned by any of them.
Of course, their numbers game is more like two for the price of one instead of 1 out of 10. Chances are if they proposition one guy, he has a buddy who will go for it. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:12:34 AM | | I remember doing it the other way around once in my early twenties.....glad that's over....whewph!!! | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:21:39 AM | It has nothing to do with this 'day and age', just when was it that men weren't looking for women willing to have sex with them? In general of course, not all people are alike. But really, I think half the problem is that people are ignorant of the history of human behavior and spend ridiculous amounts of time analyzing the obvious. If someone is not what you are looking for, does not treat you the way you want to be treated, is not right for you....move on. Why worry about why they are the way they are? Who cares, spend your time on something more productive, like being where you'll find what you want and not knowing what the hell that is.  | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:42:52 AM | I try to avoid the ones that want to add water and have instant me, if you know what I mean.... | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:45:33 AM |
Is that normal?
On the internet it is.
Personally, I don't think it's because you mention sex once on your profile (you've since removed it). I don't know why people think that because one person mentions the 'S' word in their profile they become a target for predation.
IMO I do believe you are 'targeted' because you put things like:
my ultimate goal is marriage. and I am a romantic at heart and I love the medieval era, where men were honorable, women were ladies, people kept their word, love to watch jousting. I put more stock into what a man does than if he has height or big muscles...its honorable character and nice manly voice that gets my heart racing. To me, actions are the truth of people and not just fancy nice words. as well as I'm, looking for a life long partner You have set yourself up by already having a goal of what will make you happiest, and you want that goal with idealized romance all the way. You've basically set your price. I believe most men that contact you also idealize marriage (or significant relationships), life long partners, and want to live up to gender roles similar to your definition of romance and what 'men" should be. So they tell you what you want to hear, who they wish to be, or hope they are (but at the time it is how they identify themselves, or think they can live up to, it's just not feasible). Then they have trouble living up to what they said they were, and then go away or disappear. In other words you have a relationship ideal, they have a relationship ideal, you both try to get to that ideal in as fast a way as possible by identifying stages and behavior, then find out the behavior isn't normal, and everyone gets unhappy because the ideal isn't met. The 'signing' of the relationship deal comes with sex, and then it's figured out the entire relationship isn't producing as much happiness as idealized, so it won't work out, and someone disappears. Common occurrence with internet dating. If you want the 'slow lane' you might not want to date via the internet and simply wait for prince charming in real life, or simply enjoy the relationships you already have and see how they grow. I don't know of anything more slow than that. Maybe a mail order husband, but with planes used in shipping now that is pretty fast. Of course there is always the off chance that you will meet that perfect someone online, but you are going to deal with a lot of annoying crap and/or come to understand yourself realistically. Either of which you may not wish to do. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:54:21 AM | seem to me unless you fill some girls head with rubbish (not all)
they be no interested
something to do with the mean/average/ benchmark /blah- or expectations
thus your typical genuine guy does not mail
you have a clear answer here
(yes i know some guys can be bad :( hormones thrill chase or something) | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:28:54 PM | Yep, been there, went out with some a few years ago. Take me out for one drink or dinner, and he'd say come over to my place. I don't think so.
The majority nowadays seem to want everything no strings attached. And they want everything NOW. They don't have patience, don't want to get to know someone. Or they have simply slammed the door shut on their heart.
These are the ones you will never break through to. They have adopted this lifestyle due to a bad breakup, divorce, etc.
You'll be able to start spotting them the minute you meet them. Listen to the way they talk to you and act.
These are the ones to run like hell from. They just want to use you and move on. They'll never be different until they want to start to feel again. So don't think you can get close to them, in a good way. These people have shut down. | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:42:38 PM | | I've noticed this too. And I'm always kind of taken aback when someone has talked to me for 5 minutes and wants to meet. It's like "Don't you want to get to know me more? How can you tell you like me so soon?" But, I agree with the person above me who said that people just don't have patience anymore. Well, maybe they should get some. If waiting a few more days gives a guy a better chance at a girl, he should wait a few more days, instead of being creepy and asking to meet/for sex after one chat. | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 23 | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 1:13:39 PM | | I would have to agree with you on this.......seems like the ones I've met that is their intention.....????? | |
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| Going from Hi to bed??????
Posted: 9/27/2008 1:15:00 PM | I can see the some of you don't understand the game.
It's all numbers. The more you ask the more you get. They don't care if you say no. They just keep dialing the phone until someone says yes. It's just like a boiler room. | |
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