| | Purity BallsPage 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | What does everyone think of these virginity cults? They teach that sex outside of marriage is a terrible transgression worthy of shame, but that by pledging yourself for marriage sex is something sublime and perfect.
The purity movement punishes pregnancy outside of marriage, forbids kissing or holding hands, and makes sure that parents are present whenever any intermingling of genders happens with their hyper-anti-sexualized children.
Has the abstinence only purity ball mentality helped our culture?
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Posted: 9/28/2008 4:52:39 PM | I think it is creepy!!!!
the pledge the fathers make to their daughters is this:
I, [daughter's name]'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.
The father's then put purity rings or chastity BELTS on their daughters that the girls are supposed to give to their husbands on their wedding night. The daughters then lay down a while rose in front of a large cross as a symbol to live a pure lives before God. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 4:56:31 PM | I was just watching this video on it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvALXGl9zYA
It was interesting, but I thought that I'd rather focus on education than sex in raising a child. I think it is going to make them bad in relationships in the future. I think they'll feel guilt about sex, while their partners expect and want to feel good during and afterwards. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 4:58:59 PM | | Totally creepy. Also, most kids won't keep that pledge, but the ones who make it in the first place are far less likely to be prepared and take the proper safety precautions when they do have sex; so in that sense, it can pose a danger. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 5:04:01 PM | I didn't know anything about this until I read this post and did some research... Here is a paragraph out of an article I found that i think supports my views pretty clearly!
Speaking as a father -- and one of a girl just about the right age to take to a "purity ball" at that -- I'm not going to criticize one of the underlying desires of the purity ball, which is a father's desire to express his commitment to care for and protect his child. I happen to have the same desire. I will note, however, that the expression of that desire can take on rather substantially different forms. These "Purity Ball" fathers think it's best expressed through control; I think it's best expressed through knowledge. I don't want my daughter to pledge her "purity" to me, as if having a sexual experience is some sort of karmic besmirching; I want to inform my daughter so that when she has sex, she knows what she's doing and she has it on her terms, and she comes away from the experience satisfied (as much as anyone comes away from their first experience in such a state) and able to integrate it into her life in a positive way.
I believe that knowledge is power! The more you teach your children to respect themselves and their bodies and give them the information they need to make informed decisions the better off everyone will be. I think if something is taught to be taboo at such an ealry age it is going to cause far more problems in the future! Again knowledge is power! | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 5:06:23 PM | | In my opinion, any cult activity is the result of a society that is great at deconstructing the norms but has nothing to replace it with. It's all fine and good to say you are not religious or you don't believe in paying taxes or whatever the flavour of the day is. It's another thing altogether to say what you do believe in, what you have faith in and how you plan to contribute to building a solid foundation. Abstinence is simply a reaction to the sexual perversion that is so "out there" for everyone to see. It's a knee-jerk reaction. I always say, "act, don't react." | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 5:11:36 PM | This is just about as creepy to me as the father that gives his daughter a bikini wax before she goes to work and then drives her to the Bunny Ranch.
http://jezebel.com/384994/father-gives-daughter-bikini-waxes-rides-to-work-at-a-brothel | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 5:12:51 PM | | What about little girls without Father in their lives? | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 5:15:12 PM | | I think these types of extremes are unhealthy. Those urges do not go away. They may get repressed and come out in destructive ways. It wouldn't surprise me if there was child abuse, porn addiction, etc. in these kinds of cults. People will submit to all kinds of organized rules to avoid being responsible with their own behavior. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:06:19 PM | "What about little girls without Father in their lives"
They can't attend I guess.
So, no one thinks these are a good thing? No Christians going to defend chastity or god's honor?
That's actually good news. I thought this thread would be deleted, not because it was off topic, but because the idea of pledging yourself to dad or god makes sense to Christians.
I wonder how these girls act in dating situations when they grow up, daddy dies, or they've left the house.
Hog wild or far too meek?
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:06:25 PM | Well with the white wedding "like" dress, the exchanging of rings, and vows...it is like they are marrying their Father. The Mother should be in there someplace no?
But you notice they don't have Purity Balls for the male children??? What the fudge is up with that???  | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:16:06 PM | It's like denying your own self. We are part animal, the whole notion of "monogamy" is almost against our very nature. Marriage is a human institution. That said, I prefer monogamy for the purpose of companionship. Speaking for myself, it's merely knowing that I have someone, and "she" knowing that she has me. We are available to one another exclusively. That's enough for me. I let myself be taken for granted and she let's me take her for granted. In a manner of speaking that keeps things simple. It's that sense of security that we truly need, not some legal contract that says you're entitled to half of everything I've worked hard for. People should never marry for money, and I know plenty that should never (or should have never gotten) married.
I feel these kinds of cults are detrimental to society more so than they are a service to it. Suddenly the "prize" becomes something that we are, by nature, entitled to. Sex. What we shouldn't want is being bound to someone who is wrong for us, or whom we only have fleeting feelings for. This kind of "putting the cart before the horse" thing can only lead to very un-happy and miserable and possibly abusive relationships. Sex is not evil, it is natural.
The only animal on the planet that feels any shame in relation to sex is the human animal. It's because we try to rationalize the crap out of it (being the rational animals that we are). I feel nobody should even think about marriage until they've had a few sexual experiences and more importantly a few relationships.
Just my 2 cents
Mike | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:17:48 PM |
But you notice they don't have Purity Balls for the male children???
I thought the male equivalent was Blue Balls. I guess I was mistaken. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:22:24 PM |
The father's then put purity rings or chastity BELTS on their daughters that the girls are supposed to give to their husbands on their wedding night. The daughters then lay down a while rose in front of a large cross as a symbol to live a pure lives before God.
That's especially creepy if that's all the daughter is wearing.
Of course, I wouldn't mind being the Grand Poobah for the ceremony... er, um.... but only with the over 18 girls... umm....
... oh! doorbell!
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:22:27 PM | Has the abstinence only mentality, including "purity balls", helped our culture?
No, I don't believe so. From some of my readings over the past several years...
Most abstinence only type transfer of knowledge does not teach the young, vulnerable people what they need to know physically and psychologically about themselves, their bodies and the opposite gender. Same gender relationships are likely not considered or simply forbidden. Masturbation is generally discouraged or forbidden.
Some who take an abstinence pledge, use the "ring method", etc. do delay the time of their first full experience with sex. But then so to comparable numbers of those in a sex education class that teach the physical and psychological ins and outs (no pun intended) including contraception and abstinence.
The big difference is in the stds and unwanted pregnancies. Abstinence only type methods young people catch and pass more STDs around and also create more unwanted pregnancies because they were not taught the whole knowledge available which includes contraceptive and protective devices.
Approximately the same numbers of young people in both groups do not wait to have sex before marriage. So abstinence only teachings are no better at "preventing" sex before marriage. As abstinence only taught young people were also not taught about protection and contraception, they are set up not only to be more vulnerable to diseases and unwanted pregnancies but also to lose trust in the older adults and create confusion because important information was withheld. And that spills over into other areas of their lives.
The U.S. culture, with the highest unwanted teen pregnancy rate of the industrialzed western nations, is not helped by the abstinence only purity ball mentality. We should pull our heads out of our... uh, sand, take lessons from our neighbors and start catching up with the 21st century world. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:25:04 PM |  Well as I see it there are only 2 kinds of Virgins, there are the Prudes that have NEVER HAD SEX and there are The Prudes that have had SEX and are sorry, most of these are Hands on kinda people... | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:29:19 PM | I thought the male equivalent was Blue Balls. I guess I was mistaken.
You are the queen! sorry there is no bowing smilie. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:32:02 PM | | apologies if this duplicates someone else's point, but in many cases, these kids who pledge virginity till marriage are technically virgins because they've never had genital-genital sex, but are doing oral/anal sex and think they are true to their vows! I find that just scary! | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:35:23 PM | No balls for the boys????????????
Well then I guess that makes the father daughter balls unnecessary.
Anything in the extreme is cultist and rarely works long term. But if the girls are going to remain chaste I would guess that women in their 30's will start becoming cougars to those 18....19 and 20 yr old boys | |
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x_file
| | Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:37:58 PM |
What does everyone think of these virginity cults?
Isn't the word "cult" a dead give away? Cults and herds of sheep are more or less the same - lets some one else tell you what to do, or what's good for you. LOL! The ultimate sabotage of individuality.
They teach that sex outside of marriage is a terrible transgression worthy of shame, but that by pledging yourself for marriage sex is something sublime and perfect.
I guess they don't teach what happens when sexual desires or natural desires get suppressed.
The purity movement punishes pregnancy outside of marriage, forbids kissing or holding hands, and makes sure that parents are present whenever any intermingling of genders happens with their hyper-anti-sexualized children.
Punishes? Forbids? Control? LOL! What kind of person wishes to be part of such a cult?
Has the abstinence only purity ball mentality helped our culture?
Helped? Yes! It helped pervert our culture. The desire for sex is like a stream of water. If you wish to stop the stream by putting "road blocks", the stream will always find a way to bypass such obstacles. The desire for sex is like that - suppress it and you will get perversion - allow it naturally and you will get harmony.
Here is something to ponder. A study done by the government regarding the effectiveness of absence programs showed that girls, in such programs, had no vaginal intercourse, but on the other hand were 4 times more likely to have anal intercourse and 6 times more likely to have oral intercourse. And the really disturbing, or perhaps funny part, is that those who engaged in the "other" types of sex believed themselves to be virgins! | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:48:09 PM | Its not so much a virginity cult, as an incest cult.
Its about fathers who want to marry their daughters, (or at least have sex with them) Taking control of their daughters sexuality as a substitute for actual sex.
These people are scary. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 6:55:06 PM | | Purity balls. Sounds like something you'd find in World of Warcraft. | |
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Ron9
| | Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 7:10:40 PM | I thought this was about Pretty Balls .....
I clicked on it fast cuz ..... I was going to brag and stuff. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2008 7:19:11 PM | Pretty Balls?!?!
That's just nuts, Ron! | |
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