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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:05:09 PM | Thanks to the posters on these threads as I learn something from quite a few of them.
In regard to my profile, I have a few particulars concerns:
Headline: Like many I need a better headline: any ideas based on my profile?
Pictures: Are photos of shirtless men a positive or negative? I’ve been told to pull mine down elsewhere. It’s not that I’m not fit; she felt too many guys do it. It is another bathroom self portrait. Nothing fancy. I think it’s ok to add since I am in decent shape (yes, I am biased!)
Photos part 2: I think causal photos are good since anyone can do them, and you can add an updated one at anytime. Do I need a pro session? I’d rather have them the way they are.
Music: Is that list too out there? I just found some songs I like on imeem.com that I added. Too much, too soon?
Overall: too goofy? I don’t talk like this all time, certainly not with clients. I have found humor takes the edge off as I have been known to be too serious, especially when nervous (which doesn’t happen anymore!)
Thanks for any feedback, positive or negative. As it is suggested, you may tell me it’s horrible but please let me know why so I can decide! Thanks, Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:08:24 PM | Okay, I wasn't going to do this, but I couldn't resist after reading your profile; oh yeah remember you asked.... this is only my idea of constructive criticism, I am never intentional cruel.
Headline: Like many I need a better headline: any ideas based on my profile?
Yeah you do need a better headline(as if it really matters). I would try something enigmatic or better yet clever and unexpected...as it stands, your headline is like about a 14,592 others.
Pictures: Are photos of shirtless men a positive or negative? I’ve been told to pull mine down elsewhere. It’s not that I’m not fit; she felt too many guys do it. It is another bathroom self portrait. Nothing fancy. I think it’s ok to add since I am in decent shape (yes, I am biased!
Yeah, she was right! It is for the most part NEGATIVE (depending on who you want to attach). We get that you are fit, it is mentioned many times in your profile.
Photos part 2: I think causal photos are good since anyone can do them, and you can add an updated one at anytime. Do I need a pro session? I’d rather have them the way they are.
Yeah leave the pro photographers for the wedding, babies and HS students - but you may need more (and not not a shirtless one....)
Music: Is that list too out there? I just found some songs I like on imeem.com that I added. Too much, too soon?
Too out there??? What? I didn't see any Tom Waites or Brian Eno on there, it is quite mainstream, so what is this 'too out there'? 'Too much too soon ?' As if someone other than a music snob is even going to notice what you have on your imeem.
Overall: too goofy? I don’t talk like this all time, certainly not with clients. I have found humor takes the edge off as I have been known to be too serious, especially when nervous (which doesn’t happen anymore!)
Man oh man, goofy, dude, not hardly. I didn't get any hint of humor from your profile, but I did get that you have a rather narrow vision of who you are willing to meet (not that there anything wrong with that) and that you fully embrace the concept of flowcharts for online dating. You do come off horribly stilted and analytical, plus the list of things you expect to happen even before you met face to face is off putting. Don't list the things you don't want, what you expect to happen; do show that you enjoy spontaneity and fun, that you are open to ideas, you seem so, well, o l d. Drop some of your requirements, open up your horizons, relax and let go to the possibilities, you may be surprised by what you find.
Best of luck to you...
Female, 49, Colorado (northern) | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:36:54 PM | Ha! Right on: that's what I need. We agree on the photos, good. The other stuff, yeah I need to head my advice and read the profile OUTLOUD to see how it sounds. Old, shoot! Not what I want to hear and with that other stuff. But probably true.
As for music no Eno after the brother played Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) far too many times.
I like your posts although they do cut at times. But I asked for it and I appreciate it. Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/3/2008 9:52:08 PM | Your headline is ok...but the fact is that we are all looking for chemistry. Ok...all I can do is read a profile and then think about what it made me think about. After reading your profile...You talk too much about your body. Saying your in shape is enough. Let your beauty be in the eyes of the beholder...not a testimonial of how you feel about your body. You sound like a health food nut...not just conscious about what you eat. Then you add pressure by telling women to cook things with "zero trans fat" in them...haha
I am personaly glad that you don't have a no shirt photo...I think they are cheesey.
Your profile focuses on you and what your routine is...doesn't sound like there is much room for someone who perhaps may not eat fruit , chicken and nuts daily.
You sounded very regimented...nothing about what you appreciate in a woman or how perhaps you could compliment a woman.
After reading it....I would have to say that it would be a thumbs down...pretty stiff.
I hope that wasn't too harsh...I am only one person. someone else might love it? | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/3/2008 10:22:29 PM | | wow, I appreciate the feedback, I do! So maybe it is a bit narcissistic, and I do need to tone it down. I do think the last headline you gave me is a bit much too much. But I think it is part of joke him if he can't take a joke. Thanks for the feedback, I will sleep on it, Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:26:25 PM | you sound very secure and intimidating that's because you are intelligent and good looking .. suggestions only
1. change your profile picture the one that you have up has two red flowers sticking out
2. i like the surfin pic thats cool but add more good manly pics if you can
3. change the heading about something like 'kiss' sounds too cheezy
4. your interest is too intimidating since your occupation is already up there delete the intelligence financial money etc
5. about me is too long shorten to 200 words
6. pof is about having fun meeting people so have fun and be honest. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:20:54 PM | I like the new heading a little....
How about..."Looking for the perfect Kiss"
Again...I don't find you to be intimidating...of course intelligence and education shouldn't intimidate people.
Check points!!
1. Don't say you want to IMPROVE someone you don't even know. You are already being critical.
2. Enough about how you keep in shape....no one cares how many crunches you do and your sucessful dieting habits.
3. Are you romantic, funny, outgoing? What kind of a person are you?
4. Loosin' up...delete the part about being a critic...you sound like a huge critic as it is...no sense in saying you did it on a professional level.
You remind me of Simon from American Idol | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:59:54 AM | Thanks for the suggestions. KFlower, you seem to be in a better mood today and more helpful.
I like my flower picture but that is just me.
Need to think and rewrite but the surf beckons this AM..... Back later, Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal: now 49, soon to be 50!
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:37:17 PM | The profile is pretty good. A little wordy, but fairly good.
Your main pic is a disaster though - you're just a humanoid shaped blob in it. You need a smiling head shot for your main pic.
In "First Date," I think you want a casual lunch. A causal lunch sounds like you're eating what you ran over as you were driving to the restaurant. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal: now 49, soon to be 50!
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:48:49 PM | Hi, Jim. Remember that turning 50 is only 30 in metric. Come to Canada, we're younger.
Anyway...
I got the feeling the 2 "lessons" were preaching to the converted, but maybe that's just me. So far as the photo issue, yours are dated so it's easy to see you haven't changed. Your main photo, however, is against "The Rules" and may get deleted for a) not having a clear headshot and b) the shirtless issue. Some people, eh?
The financial angle is really too much too soon. Anything beyond "I'm comfortable" is nobody's business here. I also winced at the "Real Housewifes" rant. Instead of saying what you don't want, why not either give more information about you (love the music review info!) or who you are hoping to meet? Do you want someone established and enjoying their career? Do you want to travel in the future?
By explaining what you do (lifestyle-wise) so eloquently, you will make it obvious to the right kind of women what to expect and those that don't have the same mind-set will know they wouldn't be a match. Leave the negative phrasing out of an otherwise excellent profile. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal: now 49, soon to be 50!
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:58:26 PM | Thank you for the comments. I think I do need a little more info on what I am looking for instead of the negative. But the "Real Housewife's" rant is supposed to biting. Maybe you have to date women in El Lay to know. And it is really supposed to be funny.
I'll sleep on it tonight and make changes accordingly, Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:59:55 PM | Okay, you wanted it:
You can zap the first sentence. It's no way to start.
The next two or three paragraphs are relatively bashing other POF users, other men, etc. Stick to the topic at hand: YOUR profile and no one else's.
It sounds more like a rant.
Sense of humor: do you have one? There is 0% sense of humor in the entire long winded profile. There is no wit or charm in the whole thing.
You state OTHER POF users have old pictures in their profiles, but say your's are all current. You distinctly label one as 2005. Another is 2007.
Moral of the story is don't bash other POF users. You're supposed to be putting your best foot forward. You're supposed to have information on you, an intro, a personality into it, tastes, likes, interests, etc, etc.
I just came away from the profile thinking 'so what?' . It didn't leave an impression because it started out so negative. I was half way down the profile and realized you were obsessed with others on POF and not concentrating on yourself. I'd start over. You're not going to grab much attention from women when you come up in searches with that kind of attitude, unless you think the investment thing is what you'll get by on.
Okay....but remember...you ASKED for a review. I'm just stating my impression of what I got from reading it. Honesty is best. I never bash or belittle. It just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
Sigh.
Best of luck to you, though. Enjoy your week and best wishes. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:14:04 PM | Every review yields some positive criticism, even the above. After a couple of days of thought:
"You state OTHER POF users have old pictures in their profiles, but say your's are all current. You distinctly label one as 2005. Another is 2007. "
That is true and I will change my words. What I should say is I resemble my photos in real life; that they are current is not true as you point out. I my mind I didn't bash all POF men, just those that post photos that don't look like they are now. If you have every meet a man who looks like the father of the photo he has in his profile then you are lucky.
"Sense of humor: do you have one? There is 0% sense of humor in the entire long winded profile. There is no wit or charm in the whole thing. "
I disagree on this one. It's in there as I have had women send me LOL comments about parts of it. I could go on but if certain people don't get it, I think that's a good thing. I'll think about redoing the lessons learned but I think some women get it if they have had internut dating experience and a sense of humor.
And I love the passive/aggressive ending. Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again!
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:32:32 PM | Thanks for the feedback POFers. Redid totally so hope it is better!
If there are typos, can you let me know. And if the jokes are too much for the 45-55 intelligent female market, can you let me know!
Thanks, Jim  | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again!
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:22:25 PM | Hi again, Jim! I like this version, too, mostly. The whole financial advice made me glaze over (not a good sign?) and I suspect women reading may get the sense you may be quietly judging them. Just my perception, perhaps.
I thought I was the only one who remembered Wise Guy. (shot here in Vancouver!)
Again, for Long Term, this is great detail. If I were looking I'd write. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again!
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:13:42 PM | thanks for the kind words!
The next door bit maybe too much but it is really about me. That is good feedback, so thank you.
Wiseguy: The first season is probably the best dramatic TV ever done. I won't get into details tonight but I can pass on that I bought the DVDs from a AU website for about $20 US. The out of print US DVDs go for $50+ on ebay.
Thanks for the review and I wish you well, Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again X 2
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:53:53 PM | Redid the Age section to make it more positive. Thanks to the reviewers and those that I contacted for their comments and suggestions. It helps when at home handing out candy and watching stupid sports. Jim | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again X 2
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:45:24 PM | That is too much about me
Oh geesh Jim, truer word you have never written, at least here on POF.
You need the delft hand of a good editor (or a slice of humble pie). Less is more, yeah really. Your profile is more like a Wagnerian opera, well at least in length and as interesting as the field guide to Date Nails of the American West Railroads - very limited in its appeal; however I am sure your mother would like it. You tip your whole hand, you offer it all up front. Where is the mystery? Ever think that you maybe giving more of a reason not to meet you than to meet you?
All I get from your profile is preachy, pretentious and pompous. Though that may work on some women, it probably won't on intelligent, well rounded and mature woman. You need to use a different tact. Surely you know what you have been using has not worked. Your profiles have not changed much since your first request for a review, they have been just variations on theme.
As for women LOLing because of the humor in your profile, it must be some sort of humor not common in these part.
Yeah, that is how I see it. I know I am not your target group, but you asked and the tricker treaters have gone home for the night and over priced athlete bore me.... | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal/Updated again X 2
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:56:40 PM | Dear Jim,
You sound like a very good potential partner, except it sounds like you think too much of yourself (probably sounds like this because you are selling yourself and trying to appeal to your target market). I'm sorry, but basically, you don't sound appealing. And, you are wayyyyyyy to wordy.
Since you've been at this over a year, and haven't made it to an appealing profile, I'd recommend you go one-on-one with a female and hash it out.
Good luck. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:08:40 AM | To add to what's been said--delete non-2009 pics.
If you must be in shorts, surfing, use 2009 pics of that kind.
The rock critic stuff was the most interesting part, everything about regimes could have been stated briefly--i.e. I eat healthily, etc.
Best of luck. | |
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| Profile for review: Male, 48, SoCal
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:51:37 PM | Thanks for the replies and those I contacted directly. I’ve made some minor changes but not many since I think my profile “works.”
Photos: I feel the main purpose is to present yourself as you really are, so when you meet someone face to face they recognize you. And it helps to have a variety of activities. It is only fair to date the photos to let people know when they were taken. The surfing photo is the best one I have within recent years. The pumpkin mirror photo is not serious and will come down, not sure how soon. I may get better photos in the future but I have a lot to do, besides writing this!
As for the length of my profile and it’s content, my goal is to do target marketing. I’ve meet enough women both here and elsewhere to know that all of us have unique characteristics that some find appealing and some do not. Why pursue someone who is looking for something one you are not? If I send an email to a woman and it gets deleted or I get I thanks, but no thanks, while that is not what I want, I am not hurt: it happens. My profile and myself appeal to certain women who get it. That may be in despite of my profile, but I just don’t know yet.
But if unscientific research with such a small sample proves that it doesn’t appeal to certain women than I do not consider that a bad thing.
Thanks for your input, Jim | |
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