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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?      Home login  
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 pigletrue65
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 1
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?Page 1 of 1    
I find that the guys I am attracted to physically... tend to flirt and tease.. then not follow through... Why is that?? I don't get it... I guess it's because I am honest and trusting.. and believe that others are the same... but find myself being disappointed in the end... as others are not as genuine as I am. Am I making myself a target for jerks but stating upfront that I dont play games??? is that like putting a bone in front of a dog?? I guess I find it simply RUDE!!! and hard to understand .. can any of you guys fill me in... seriously...not looking for you smart ass lowlifes who are obviously so insecure that you attack women verbally to negate your own self hatred.
 Schneizel
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 2
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/4/2008 9:27:21 PM
men are visual beings. Every man wants a hottie but not every man can get. they take this out, unfortunately, on the not so attractive by toying with them.
 hamburger
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 3
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/4/2008 9:50:17 PM

I find that the guys I am attracted to physically... tend to flirt and tease.. then not follow through... Why is that??


Not really enough information to go on, IMO.

Reasons can include they died, their wife/so came back from the bathroom, they didn't want to do more than tease and flirt, they only wanted sex, they're gay, they found someone better at teasing and flirting, they found someone to have sex/form a relationship with rather than tease and flirt, they got tired of teasing and flirting, their bus came, their ride came, they got carpal tunnel from all that teasing and flirting, their computer broke, they couldn't afford their internet service, they were waiting for you to push them towards following through, they had fun teasing and flirting and then found better things to do, etc...

Those are just off the top of my head.

I don't think it has anything to do with you being 'trusting, honest, and/or genuine' so much as who they are and what they want.
 Day.Dreamer
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 4
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:13:40 PM
Could it be that you're attracted to men who tend to flirt a lot?

Little known fact, men who "follow through" might not be so good at flirting as men who don't, given the lack of experience caused BY "following through".

Just putting it out there, didn't mean any disrespect.
 flcntrygirl80
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 5
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:29:22 PM
I can totally relate to this. I have started getting to know someone and I let him know up front that I don't sleep around and that I am not looking for hook ups, I outgrew that a long time ago, and after a short period of time he'll disappear. I know I am not some knockout, but I don't shatter mirrors either. What gives? I guess this is why I have been single for so long. Guys should come with a decoder ring or manual or something. They give me such a headache....
 ittybtty1
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 6
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:21:45 PM
Most of us have met someone that we were initially quite attracted to but as we got to know them as a person the attraction wore off.
But if this happens to you often then you might want to ask if you're giving off negative vibes...if you're expecting someone to flirt and then back away "just like all the others" you might subconsciously be giving off vibes that he reads as "go away" without understanding.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 7
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 1:08:20 AM

I find that the guys I am attracted to physically... tend to flirt and tease.. then not follow through... Why is that?? I don't get it... I guess it's because I am honest and trusting.. and believe that others are the same... but find myself being disappointed in the end... as others are not as genuine as I am. Am I making myself a target for jerks but stating upfront that I dont play games??? is that like putting a bone in front of a dog?? I guess I find it simply RUDE!!! and hard to understand .. can any of you guys fill me in... seriously...not looking for you smart ass lowlifes who are obviously so insecure that you attack women verbally to negate your own self hatred.


Yes; you are setting yourself up for failure and to be targeted by jerks; to say that you are honest and trusting and believe others are the same is naive. Many men cheat or use women so to give someone trust blindly is going to be very painful. Trust must be earned.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 8
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:18:55 AM
Unless a man comes right out and says that he's not interested in you because you didn't give him sex, you don't know. It's nice to have that to fall back on to avoid looking at yourself, and I'm sure it's true at times, but I hardly think it's the rule. Here's a newsflash... Men are not the penis obsessed neanderthal b@stards some women like to view us as. Men can be "not interested" for other reasons. We can lose interest for other reasons. We can lose interest even after we've had sex with you, and it not be about the sex.


OP, be more specific. Give us an example of what you're talking about. Your question way too vague to be answered.
 sonic1214
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 9
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:36:39 AM
...They are just not that into you. There may have been some initial attraction at first but when the dust settles a little and you have time to process the situation, it probably wasn't enough for them to warrant any kind of follow up.
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 10
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:07:36 AM
Flirting and teasing are just that, a game. Because someone flirts with you doesn't mean that they want to date you or anything more than playing a game. If you ask the guy that does it to you, you might hear them say that they didn't expect you to take them seriously. When you call them on it, it will stop.

Good luck
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 11
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 11:43:59 AM

not looking for you smart ass lowlifes who are obviously so insecure that you attack women verbally to negate your own self hatred.

Perhaps it has to do with your attitude...

Unfortunately Sweetie, on a POF forum, you don't have the power to exclude the opinions of certain individuals. It's well known that many here don't sugar coat anything. If you can't handle input (good AND bad) from a variety of different people, then maybe you shouldn't participate.
 Tenacious-B
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 12
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:34:36 PM
Because they have other options. I would suggest not putting too much into a relationship early on. When you meet the right person if they really are the right person this kind of thing won't happen.
 thewrongdossier
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 13
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 1:06:03 PM
Why are we here in this reality? Why do humans have consciousness?
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 14
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 1:21:47 PM
^^^^^We said to stay away from the brown acid.

Again OP you have to be honest with them. Communication is the biggest thing here. I misread black and white on here all of the time. You don't know how someone else will read something. It is easier in person because you have facial expressions and voice inflections to go with it, but communication still is difficult. You have to talk to the guy involved to find out his motives and make sure he knows how he is appearing to you.

Good luck
 natrlflavrsupris
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 15
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 3:58:07 PM
Perhaps they were interested enough to want to get to know you better in case it was something that might go somewhere, but it wasn't something that was going to go somewhere. Some other folks have already said essentially the same thing here.

Also it could be that they were waiting for you to follow through, how do you know they aren't wondering the same thing about you? You haven't mentioned that part, but you may want to double check and make sure that you weren't leaving everything up to them, make sure you aren't the one who didn't follow through.
 sweetsecret6
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 16
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:07:32 PM
Sweetie
it happens to so many women. I have been out on dates where i thought it went well , had good conversation , never got a call back or a reason why they backed out of it. You will find the right one when the time is right. Please don't give up some man (same as some women) do not have the respect to be honest and are cowards for not letting you know how they feel or give you any reason why they are not interested.
Keep your head up and don't let a couple of bad ones ruin your day, there is so much to be happy about once you find Mr right you will laugh at them knowing they are still single and looking while you have someone who truly loves you.
 dtowndoll
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 17
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:19:42 PM
My two cents......

As a beautiful fluffy woman myself, I find that men are attracted to my intellect and face but sometimes, the thought of dealing with a larger woman is too much for them.

Take a breathe .........it will be okay......there is a lid for every pot.
 stormshadow21
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 18
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:03:23 PM
Hi there,
i just wanted to say have experienced the same myself on here,so its just not the guy but the girls too,i have now come to the conclusion that everyone on is just here for a kicks or there own amusment ,however this isnt very funny but maybe for the person on the other end of the blue screen .
Ive had a few girls asking me to date them ,so they ask me for my msn then start there little games on there saying why they cant meet ect for one reason or another ,but i still find them on here blaing more lies to whom ever .....wtf is it with these jokers !!
Ive even had these jokers from here on my msn asking me for my phone number and said they will text me !!!..well they was rude enough not too !!!
Im now thinking of leaving pof !!!
If all they want to do is chat and not date ect then i think the best place is from them to find a chat site if they want a giggle ect !!
WILL SOMEONE BAN THESE JOKERS NOW !!!!!!
Hope This helps .
 prglf1
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 19
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WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:29:07 PM
hotties....... not actually true, not for guys who are genuine, attraction, yes, that is true, we are visual, but i look for who i believe is in "my ball park", it is no different for me than it is for you........... genuine people are more likely to get hurt, as in my case, i wear my feelings on my sleeve, i'm too trusting, and i looked for the best in women, and maybe turn my head alittle to their worst side, and have been hurt my fair share, on here too! but you have to learn...... would you rather live trusting in someone , or be miserable in distrust and questions!
 fishingwithtnt
Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 20
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:55:25 PM
I think they either found somthing they didn't like about you or there just a player and realized you dont' roll like that.

This green dancing bananna should cheer you up.
 Ensnared
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 21
WHY DO GUYS ACT INTERESTED THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:02:10 PM
Sometimes guys are just trying to be nice and it is misinterpreted as flirting. Just because a guy treats you well, doesn't mean that he's interested in you... it just means that he isn't just another prick.
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