| | breaking the icePage 1 of 1 | | Sometimes you read a profile and see something interresting to start a conversation with. Most of the time after reading lots of them you see nothing new that catches your attention and can't come up with an original way to start a conversation. Obviously, "Hi, how are you" does not get a tremendous response back. So when there is no specific thing to talk about what is a good way to let someone know that you want to talk to them and get an answer back? | |
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| breaking the ice
Posted: 10/5/2008 2:53:08 PM | | I can relate. I read so many profiles that really sound the same, or having nothing to them at all. I think that you are just going to have to put a little work in. Read it, remember the username at least so that if you don't send a message right away, or you want to think on it, you can go back and send a message. But putting thought into your first message to someone should generate some sort of response. | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 2:55:27 PM | Oh the redundency on these forums.
There is no magic question, or guarentee that you will get a response. There is no specific bait, because each person is unique.
If things look the same on most all profiles, then you seem to be seeking out the same type of woman... Perhaps you could EXPAND your horizon, and check out profiles that you may not think of the person as YOUR TYPE, then go from there.
I am NOT talking about anything major, just someone that has a little edge to them, or seems like they are open to getting to know others, besides the NORM you seem to be going for.
If there is NO SPECIFIC thing to talk about, doesn't that seem to mean they MAY very well be the same way in person???? Just a thought... | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 2:56:20 PM | Whether there's anything specific enough to make reference to in her profile (IE a shared interest) there IS some reason you want to write her.
Myself, I'm always curious about what that is, and a lot do tell me my profile is funny so that makes a good "opener". Some things (probably most things actually) you just have to figure out for yourself.
Obviously if she posts in the forums, you can read her forum posts and write about that. | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 2:56:23 PM | | A lot of times there is hardly anything in the profile so you are just going by age, location, looks, etc. and it takes some back and forth messages just to see if you want to even might be interrested in someone, but hard to get anything back and forth if you get no response to the first message. | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 3:05:53 PM | If you don't hear from them, they are not interested...
Sometimes it is disheartening, and can really wear on your patience and esteem... Don't let it, because people are not thinking of how inconsiderate they are being by NOT responding...
Just remember before you send out an e mail, they may not respond back, and they are NOT obligated (well a morally correct person would), so just take it as that, they are judging you on a few words in a profile, and your pic...
The person you write can have all sorts of specifications for whom they are looking for, and just because you think perhaps they may be interested because you are, doesn't make it so.
As always you can't take personal something that is sooo distant.
I agree, it really bites when you get on the hook someone you can't tell much about... Could it be a carp, or could it be a salmon, who knows till they break water...
As I stated, just be patient, as with fishing, there are many days where you don't even get a yank on the line, while others around you are catching fish like crazy... Who knows why... | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 5:08:00 PM | Sorry, looks like the question has been answered a million times in the archives and the answers are pretty much what I figured. I am new to the forums.
Thanks to all for responding so quickly and offering your help. | |
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| breaking the ice
Posted: 10/5/2008 5:27:28 PM | | "hi how are you" only requires a "fine thank you" response. On a good day I may say Fine thanks and you? | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 6:01:35 PM | Um, how about actually reading their profile and referencing something in that and then stating your intent or hope.
e.g. "Hi, I read your profile and really liked what you said about X and think we have Y in common. I'd like to communicate with you and if you'd rather not, that's perfectly OK but I'd really appreciate just a reply with 'no thanks' or something if you don't mind."
It's better than 'hey, wanna talk or sumpin'?'  | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 6:02:14 PM | well I used to you:
How are you on this_______ night? Fine I hope.
I just read your profile and woud like to get to know you better. I ask that you read mine and write me back.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Bye for now,
My name | |
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| breaking the ice
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:07:44 PM | Jackster121 wins the prize. Simple, direct and expresses interest.  | |
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Posted: 10/5/2008 6:27:21 PM | BRAVOOOOOOO Jackster! Unfortunately, most don't even say half that much. You get added like a stamp on an envelope then dropped in a 'hold' box.
And here I thought this was a dating site where people WANTED to communicate!.......Silly me   | |
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Posted: 10/6/2008 4:17:31 AM | I have a weak spot for guys that talk about my career interest. I like guys that really know their stuff and are not just using Google to come up with material (I usually can tell by the context). I have responded to guys (on this site) that I don't think I have a real interest in just because I couldn't resist responding to what they said about my favorite hobby (politics).
If you can find out what interest or hobbies the girl has then try to talk to her about them in a real and knowledgeable way. She'll know if you're faking it. If you don't know what she's interested in then ummmm, ahhhhh, ummmm, then read the other post in this thread and do that stuff. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 12:47:22 PM | | Bucsgirl, your profile is funny and creative.. I can't say that I have seen one so unique. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 1:06:38 PM |
A lot of times there is hardly anything in the profile so you are just going by age, location, looks, etc. and it takes some back and forth messages just to see if you want to even might be interested in someone, but hard to get anything back and forth if you get no response to the first message.
Then why did you contact them? You should write them and tell them WHY you contacted them. Hopefully that isn't because you liked her boobs right? You write and tell them what is was you liked about their profile always. If they have nothing then SERIOUSLY why did you even write them? Are you fantasizing that they would magically become very communicative in person after posting a profile that was 2 lines long. It's possible but not probable.
Cowboy | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 1:38:38 PM | I agree to some extent that contacting someone with little to nothing detailed about them can be conceived as shallow. However, I don't see much difference to a real life scenario where you saw an attractive woman out and about and tried to start a conversation with her.
I generally avoid profiles with little to nothing listed. I don't take those profiles seriously. If they can't be bothered to write a couple sentences, how much effort will they put forth to actually date?
If I find a woman that is very attractive with nothing listed, I may pay her a compliment, but mention how I feel its shallow in doing so and to please fill out your profile a little so that I can determine if we have any common interests. Generally, no response, so I avoid doing so now.
You get what you give. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 1:57:46 PM | Well there's dating advice and then there's dated advice…
The OP was Posted: 10/5/2008 2 : 51 : 06 PM
He's probably learned a few things by now. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 5:41:36 PM |
"Hi, I read your profile and really liked what you said about X and think we have Y in common. I'd like to communicate with you and if you'd rather not, that's perfectly OK but I'd really appreciate just a reply with 'no thanks' or something if you don't mind."
This is pretty lame.
OP.. a bit of cheek and humour works a lot of the time. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 6:08:40 PM | A few polite lines expressing interest and feel free to write.
When women are interested they will manage a reply. Don't worry.
If you don't hear, then you've not invested in writing a novel, no loss.
If someone doesn't have two ganglia to bang together in windstorm to think of a decent reply, or they sound half-hearted, ... 'uh fine ' or 'hi ya' ... then not much lost there either. | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 6:21:51 PM |
So when there is no specific thing to talk about what is a good way to let someone know that you want to talk to them and get an answer back?
in instances such as this, I will come up with something totally out of left field and funny and smart...
anything to grab her attention.
sometimes I'll throw cheap pick up lines out there.
when you see a girl in a club or in public, she has no "'profile"" for you to read does she ?
what would you say to her then ? | |
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Posted: 9/22/2011 8:01:20 PM |
He's probably learned a few things by now. Unlike some of the other hit and run posters in this thread. Here's hoping that this post will finally put to rest this thread that was resurrected only for the purpose of making an Off Topic contact broadcast. Sometimes it's best to step back and look at the entire picture instead of focusing with tunnel vision. Long sigh, rolling eyes and all that *expert* advice aside, RIP Breaking the Ice. You have been missed by many. | |
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