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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > friends like to grab at her breasts and butt      Home login  
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 Ab_Aeterno
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 1
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friends like to grab at her breasts and buttPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
ok im having a recurring fight with my gf about the fact that some of her friends like to grab at her breasts and butt. ive told her it makes me extremely uncomfortable and to please have them stop.

her response as well as that of her friends is that its perfectly allright for them to do it and i should grow up about it.

now i guess i can let the whole touching her butt part go because its them grabbing at her breasts thats the biggest issue for me.

she says she has told them to stop but they refuse to.

she also claims that its ok because they are girls. i told her it doesnt matter to me if its girls or guys bcause in all honesty a person is a person no matter what gender.

so now i dont know what to do about this. please help me figure out if im in the wrong or of she is and what we can do about this.
 Thunderstorms62
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 2
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:49:27 PM
And.............uh.......................
how old is your GF?
So this is what they mean by playing "grab ass."
(Please don't tell me she is a minor)
 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 3
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:49:40 PM
Humm...I have been a woman 60 yrs. and the only time another woman touched my derierre was a quick pat when I hit a homer. I have never had one of my friends grab my breasts and probably with good reason. I would flatten them on the spot. I think it's a little odd that a woman would do that to another woman.
 charlieboy38
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 4
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:51:27 PM
Dude!they are girls!hell they go to the bathroom together!your frettin over nuthin!Now they are doin it cause they know it drives you nuts!They are playin you!
 Ab_Aeterno
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 5
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:52:12 PM
she's turning 18. so yea technically a minor i guess. and i know what its called. ive always had a problem with the whole grab ass thing even when i was little.
 InternetRFunny
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 6
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:52:44 PM
1) ask yourself whether the grabbing is actually sexual or just teasing
2) determine whether you have the right to control your GF's non-sexual activities
3) stop hanging out with your GF and her girlfriends. Let her have the time and space to hang out with her friends WITHOUT you. perhaps use the time to hang out with your male buddies and practice some c&*@-slapping.
4) grow up.

edit:

5) change your POF status to NOT SINGLE.
 Thunderstorms62
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 7
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:59:47 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well put!
 corindan
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 8
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:09:07 PM
If people touch me, and get told to stop, and then touch me again, they lose the use of a hand for a couple of months. People don't repeat such mistakes with me. She tells them to stop, but does not mean it enough to discipline them when they do it anyway... so she is queer enough to like it. You are dateing a bisexual who prefers gals, but does an occasional guy now and then. Like it, or dump her. It is not a matter of are you right, or wrong. It is a matter of you don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. If she respected you, she would not allow it. She may be fun for an occasional lay, but she is not good LTR material. She cares about pleasing herself, and pleasing her friends, and not about pleasing you. Take the hint, and move on.
 luvmysaturday
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 9
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:21:57 PM
As the mother of teenage girls I see it all the time. It's not about being Lesbian or bisexual, they're girls that are friends, they act silly and tease each other all the time. It's not meant to be sexual, stop worrying about it. The bigger issue you make out of it the more it will happen most likely. It's not a big deal, really.
 Tenacious-B
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 10
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:27:54 PM
I think you are both in the wrong.

Why does this bother you so much? Yes it is a little immature but what do you expect she isn't even 18 yet?

You may want to take a step back and try and figure out why this makes you 'extremely uncomfortable.'
 Dempcey
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 11
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:33:39 PM
If you have an issue with it, you already have the answer yourself.
If you know you don't like it and the females (including the gf) in question continue, why let yourself deal with the "show" ?
 zrythm8
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 12
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:51:22 PM
OMG I feel old just reading this - I am definitley too old for this post!!!

Zee
 SueisWho
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 13
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 9:37:19 PM
It sounds like disrespect for friends to be grabbing boobs and butts...where are the boundaries?
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 14
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 9:42:17 PM
I hope I'm just having a bad night, cause right now, I feel like the human race is devolving at an accelerated pace.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:00:40 PM
Perfect reason not to date teenage girls who think they are being sexy & cute and do so for male attention. I'm sure it's harmless, but yeah, annoying and tiresome. Find someone more mature, I doubt she's going to grow up anything soon.
 acepdk
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 16
need help please
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:55:25 PM
lots and lots of girls do this all the time...no big deal. Dont you see at the bars they are all dancing with each other and grinding up on one another. If you that bothered by it, then find someone else to date.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 17
need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:32:47 AM
Wow. Talk about your bad night in the forums.

I guess my point is - they are HER breasts.
I don't think it's relevent how or what you feel about them.


If she wants her bff grabbing her, and she's told you she's fine with it...well, there's your answer.

But it's pretty stupid.
You don't see high school boys walking around grabbing each other in the balls do you? Oh wait...sometimes I guess you do.....
 Racygirl
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 18
need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 3:16:37 AM
Hey you are going out with a minor, thats way worse than any of her friends grabbing her boobs and butt. At least they are her age.
Date someone who isnt a child (because technically she is)

*goes off mumbling about men in their 20's dating underage girls*
 *~Krysteene~*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 19
need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:53:14 AM

OMG I feel old just reading this - I am definitley too old for this post!!!



It sounds like disrespect for friends to be grabbing boobs and butts...where are the boundaries?



I hope I'm just having a bad night, cause right now, I feel like the human race is devolving at an accelerated pace.


I agree with these posts. OMG... when did it become the norm and acceptable for a bunch of girls to be grabbing each other's breasts and butts?

I've had some of the same friends since grade school and we've never done anything like that. But, each to their own.

OP, it's her body. If it doesn't bother her then there's not much you can do about it. Accept it for whatever it is or find someone else.

Krys
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 20
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need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:03:52 AM
Pseudo-Lesbian play has become very popular with younger women the last few years.
They do it because it drives guys crazy.
Afterall, girls go to the bathroom together, trade clothes, dress and undress in front of each other, prance around naked and try out new sex toys together all the time.
Don't think anything of it.
The more she knows it bothers you, the more she'll want to do it.

I don't think this sort of thing would become fashionable among boys any time soon.
 pretty moon
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 21
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need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:06:33 AM
Well I haven't much too add here except if these teenage antics bother you that much try dating a 22 years old. You might just get a little more maturity there.

Look your dealing with 17 year olds that obviously dont have a lot of boundries. They know it bothers you and at that age instead of respecting how you feel they are on a mission to annoy you. Maybe if you stop acting like it bothers you they will get tired of the game and stop it. Just a thought.

This is one of those days I'm glad I'm from the "olden days" (my grandsons term) and just "dont understand the younger generation" (also his term) sigh


PEACE

pretty moon
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 22
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need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:40:03 AM
Maybe in your state, a 22 yr old dating a 17 yr is legal, but as you see, you are bumping into a maturity gap.

Whether or not its male or female friends doing this, the problem isn't her's. If it was, she'd do something about it.

The problem is your's. Her body, her wishes about what is done to it.
 ShonnaLouise
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 23
need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:42:01 AM
Here's an idea,don't date someone 5 years younger than you.
She's 17.She likes the attention and chances are,she's never tried to get them to stop.She likes the attention from them and she likes the jealousy she recieves from you.I would say you deserve better,but if you can't see that by now,I wont bother.
 kewlpeeps
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 24
need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:37:28 AM
If she is a minor then its sexual abuse. You need help and prison time. She needs a good therapist.
 Ab_Aeterno
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 25
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need help please
Posted: 10/7/2008 10:17:49 AM

You need help and prison time.


wow that seems harsh lol. for one age of consent is 17 in almost all states. that also pertains to sexual contact and not dating.

and its not like she is some girl i picked up. weve known each other for about 13 years now.

we talked some more and seems the thing i had the actual problem with, the grabbing of the breasts, was also a problem for her and she doesnt like them doing that and gets mad and fights with them about that.

i also dont smother her and hang out with her friends or try to control her as some people seem to insinuate.

alot of the posts were helpful in giving me some perspective though thank you
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > friends like to grab at her breasts and butt