| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:48:15 PM | Almost a month ago I was hooked line and sinker by a male who was wearing a cowboy hat. I paid him a compliment and he came right back with gratitude and from there we emailed each other for over two hours the same evening.
Started right back up again the very next morning...went on for two weeks and we established a relationship. So, I think we became exclusive from the way things were going.
I went off to school about a week and a half ago, that's when things kind of cooled off. Texted him, no response...emailed...no response. Quiet. Now his second profile is deleted. No word, nothing. Gone.
I'm a little puzzled but that's about it. Has this happened to anyone? | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:52:50 PM | "oddest thing"...went on for two weeks and we established a relationship.
Not so odd from all I have seen and read here.
Two weeks is not near enough time to know an other...some take a life time.
I would say: Take what you learned from this and move on.
Good luck. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:55:02 PM | All the time ... you were the flavor of the week
If he had more than one profile on this site . What does that tell you?
Do not waste brain cells on someone so trivial
Time to move on | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:57:01 PM | | While you were at school, unable-or unwilling -to keep in touch, he found someone else who is more 'there' when he wants them. It would have been nice if he had said so, but after only two weeks he doesn't know you well enough to not know you aren't the stalking B***h Queen from Hell. So, he played it safe, and just faded away. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:58:46 PM | | obviously this guy was only after one thing and talking to you for 2 weeks straight, you really thought you became exclusive. So you go off to school and he found someone else to play his games with....be happy you got out before something bad happened, and take it as a lesson learned! | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:03:15 AM | | How does one become exclusive with a person, where the only contact was email? Call me confused. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:38:47 AM |
went on for two weeks and we established a relationship. So, I think we became exclusive from the way things were going.
If this is a relationship and considered "exclusive" then by now I'm married to about 30 POF men. Someone better get me some help.
I don't think OP, that's an exclusive relationship.
I don't think that's even a relationship nor an online friendship.
It may be a drive by?
Vroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:44:47 AM | gatorsz took the words right out of my mouth. how wierd is that? maybe you can even become engaged and married "online" and never have to meet him at all. in fact, not even have to change out of your pj's or clean the house. soon, they'll even find a way to get pregnant. just overnite the sperm via fedex with a pof discount you earn with message points! then email agreements about how to raise the child. perhaps via webcam?
i have yet to meet someone who even looks like their picture (of several years ago), let alone become exclusive. for all you know, he is a married man, twice your age and put up a picture of a distant cousin!!!
online dating needs reality checking!!!! it is a tool, it is not the end all. plant your feet back on the ground and you will meet the right person in due time, once you are able to distinguish reality from fantasy. and, reality is often way way better!!!!
however, it does take work. and most of the work we have to do is on ourselves. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:22:15 AM | I am like soooooooo puzzled on how in the world .......people can be so confused about what a relationship IS???? You don't get online and think because some member of the opposite sex taps on a few keys this is going to be THE ONE?
You have to meet first. Have some conversation IN PERSON. Sustain this newfound relationship by bonding in person. Don't just think people get online and they are telling you the truth? Fantasy and reality is two different worlds. You got caught up in the fantasy world and then have to face reality by going back to school.....now you want to escape again and seek your fantasy guy again........he's gone.
Chalk it up to experience and don't allow members of the opposite sex to catch your emotions .....play with your head....and cut the line. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 2:15:47 AM | | It will happen again if you are not careful. You have to meet in the real world to be in a relationship. If its only over the computer its a cyper pal much like a pen pal. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 3:13:42 AM | Couple comments. Was this mostly online???
Next (long sigh...) I keep saying this over and over on here but
So, I think we became exclusive from the way things were going.
Sweetheart please quit assuming your ever exclusive. online or in person. Thats NOT something you assume OK?
You gotta have "The Talk".
Next red flag he was just pulling your tail is that you said this was his second profile? Sweetie.... huge red flag OK?
He is just jerking your tail babe. Sounds like this was an online deal with someone just pulling your tail.
Sorry
Cowboy | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 3:38:03 AM | Quote:
"I went off to school about a week and a half ago, that's when things kind of cooled off. Texted him, no response...emailed...no response. Quiet. Now his second profile is deleted. No word, nothing. Gone."
----
Based on the above i thought you were in your early 20s until i checked out your profile. i was going to suggest you focus on your schooling and future. what can i suggest for a middle aged woman who concluded exclusivity and relationships are established as a result of texting and emailing?
absolutely nothing! | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:14:08 AM | SIGH.........This is the second time today I'm glad im "old".
Amazing how one can "talk" for two weeks and think they have a relationship, let alone thing its exclusive.
When I question my normalcy all I have to do it come to the forums.
OP.......Just move on. Thinking about this "man" isnt even worth two minutes of your time. Find a looker at your school, buy him a cowboy hat and spend two weeks of real time with him and see what happens.
And your marital status is Prefer Not To Say....hmmmmmmmmmm
PEACE | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:35:54 AM | Let me get this straight...a COWBOY HAT was the most important thing?
Yes, that would be an odd thing.
Gratitude got you coming back for more?
Two weeks of texting only creates a relationship? | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:07:54 AM | | I would have a pregnancy test done if I were you. After two weeks of emailing, you could be in a family way. Did you practice safe chat? | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:33:31 AM | Why didn't you just talk on the phone and meet up. Sounds like he met someone else in the real world while you were enjoying the cyber relationship.
Exclusivity through cyber space ... while possible ... I'd say don't count on it ... just meet him already. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:36:09 AM | This is a joke isn't it?
So, I think we became exclusive from the way things were going.
Oh? It's not a joke?
Mmmmm the way I see it OP you have far too much time on your hands. Perhaps this guy became bored or realized you were desperate so he's done the disappearing act.....Golly gosh I would too.
You have been here at POF since 2005.....surely you know how to do a thread search and if you don't then you must have read other responses to similar occurances? | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:40:57 AM | I looked, and OP? YOU're 42!!! I was expecting to find someone MUCH younger having such a dilemna ... tsk tsk tsk! AND you have "prefer not to say" for your marital status - That btw is a Huge Red Flag for "most" of us, generally when people put "prefer not to say" it is because they are hiding something, when it is in the marital status section, it "usually" means you're in a relationship or Married! Either way tsk tsk tsk!
Regarding 2 weeks of emails / texting makes a relationshp? - I will be spending the next few weeks arranging court dates for my annulments!! lmao !!! holibatcrap - Most "Adults" know that there is the initial 6 month "honeymoon" phase, after which comes the "Holicrap Is that really YOU?" phase and from there people either run in the opposite direction Or they get closer, some even move in together and Some get married - the "Long Term" phase. That is usually followed by a year or two of "where did whatsername go?", followed by many whining, opposite sex bashing threads on dating sites, where Single Adults get to read how very fortunate we are not to have to deal with the games and crap.
I emailed and chatted with a guy a few years back, we communicated for several months before we finally met. In the meantime - Neither of us Assumed we were exclusive - it would have been Silly to do so! We hadn't met! .. When we did meet - No chemistry. But we did have some fun getting there.
You don't know Who you're chatting with, who you're emailing etc. Until you meet. For all any of us know, that person could be your neighbours 14 year old son !! It's happened!! lol .. Can you imagine OP .. you're 42, you've been chatting with this "wonderful guy" for a couple weeks - how would you feel if you found out you'd been duped by a young boy? And don't say you'd have known!! lol That won't fly!
Thanks Webweebil for my fav response:
I would have a pregnancy test done if I were you. After two weeks of emailing, you could be in a family way. Did you practice safe chat?
A.S.is
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:57:39 AM | "How does one become exclusive with a person, where the only contact was email? Call me confused."
I was thinking the same thing.
I don't see how a relationship can start when you haven't even met the person yet.
I'm sorry he just disapeared on you but try to be more causious in the future.
Good luck! | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 9:07:14 AM | I recently met a guy on another site who lives fairly near my folks, and we talked for about a month regularly... I was planning a trip down to see my Dad so we made plans to get together. Seems like as soon as that happened, there was a shift, and I stopped hearing from him daily as I had before.
Then, about a week before I was set to go down for my visit (and also meet him), he stopped emailing me entirely, got cross when I called him on it, and then changed his profile to read "seeing someone". I began to wonder if he was seeing that someone the whole time, or if I was just a timewaster while he was looking around for someone he liked better 
Either way, I didn't meet him, and I'm writing him off as a flake. Funny enough, he still emails me from time to time and is inevitably pleasant and friendly, but I've never talked to him as freely as I did in that first month of conversation. Who knows what goes on in peoples' heads. IMO, you're probably better off, it's better to find out early if a person is not going to be reliable or is prone to cold feet.
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 9:52:04 AM | Yea-something's up-maybe you were a convenient "last resort" if something else didn't work out...count your blessings and get that bait out!!  | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 11:11:43 AM | Oh hon. I know the feeling. Not in the relationship way of course - but men do that - especially on here.
Just keep your chin up and move onto the next one.
There are plenty out there ! | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 12:28:03 PM | | Don't you just hate it when they email and text you, sometimes as many as thirty texts a day, then they just disappear???? Move on girl, you were just a phase in a long line of phases. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:34:27 PM | Oh wow. I didn't expect this much negative influence. And some positive. Maybe I should've said it differently. But thanks guys...all of you for your inputs. And making me go 'DOH!' You're right. I'm naive at my age and I shouldn't be too trusting.
I didn't exactly know how to word it except exclusive....it wasn't really a relationship - the context was more friendship than relationship, didn't really develop any deep ended feelings...it's just after emailing and texting just about every day to nothing was very puzzling.
Not hurt, not angry and grateful people can definitely put you in your place. And there were those that made me think, "Oh good, I wasn't the only one then". Seriously, I appreciate everyone's input and for opening my eyes. | |
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| The oddest thing
Posted: 10/7/2008 3:03:16 PM | | sounds like you two had a virtual relationship not a real one. | |
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