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 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 1
Why some women don't like receiving oralPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I've dated two women who, when I attempted oral on them -- but before actually making contact -- said they don't like it.

How common or rare is this? Can women relate to it? Has anyone found a way to overcome such a problem and learn to enjoy receiving oral?
 meggzey78
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 2
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 3:38:30 AM
Dont have any problems with it. I love it!!! Sorry cant help you with that one OP.
 caro2008
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 3
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 3:43:11 AM
i think theyve probably had some bad expereinces, or should i say unfullfilling experiences with unskilled partners!! it can be boring if youre with a guy and they dont have a good tecnhique, you gotta find a nice way to tell em, or direct em without making them feel bad. i guess it depends on the confidence of the woman.... if she can give him some pointers then it could be good, if she not confident in telling him she could put it down to just not liking it'.

if i woman doesnt genuinely like it, i daresay it may be for the above reasons, or for others unknown to me cos i cant think of any feasible reasons not to like it, then just tread gently and you might be suprised!

one other thing, the whole giving and receiving thing, is she not taking cos she dont wanna give back???
 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 4
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 3:48:24 AM
Thanks. That sounds like good advice. Your giving/receiving point is well-taken. Both preferred intercourse, and both could orgasm fairly quickly from it. One could orgasm from intercourse in minutes.

Might that factor in?
 Shell225
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 5
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Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:02:14 AM
Heres my 2 cents... if I'm with a guy and I havent had sex for months.. To be honest I'm soooo not interested in oral.. basically stop playing and get IT out and lets get on with it!!

Next time we get together, when I'm not about to explode .. we can have/do all the oral you like!!

To be honest I have rarely met a guy who gave really good oral. Its alright for a bit of a play where Im concerned.. but if I have a choice between that and an orgasm during sex.. I'll pick the penis everytime... its just BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I find oral a poor second. But thats just me!!

But the best oral I've ever had ... was with a lover who would grab my lower legs when I was on top, lift me up off him, put me on his face, and after a few minutes, lift me off his face and put me back on his penis... Yaaa Hooo... and then he'd do it again!! Now thats oral!!!

Yes... I love giving oral, I find giving BJs very arousing!!
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 6
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Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:04:13 AM
I've never been too fond of receiving oral sex from anyone. I know it can feel good, but I just never cared if a man went down on me or not. I will say, some guys are exceptional at their oral skills, while other's put me to sleep. I prefer stimulation that is going to effectively heat me up and prepare me for sexual intercourse---which is why I enjoy giving !

Maybe it's a control thing---lord knows I enjoy it---and I am incredibly turned on while giving the manfriend oral sex. Course, after reading some of the posts on these forums I would say there may be a host of reasons why a woman wouldn't want a man between her thighs.

1. Complaints on vaginal odor
2. Some vaginas' aren't pretty to look at
3. It's not something a woman has a comfort level with
4. Too taboo

Etc...etc...etc.

You can't make anyone LIKE something they do not---but gentle encouragement to venture out there might help, but don't expect any person to simply change their point of view on oral sex. Some men and women aren't interested nor ever will be.
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 7
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:08:21 AM
Some men are clueless when it comes to giving oral.

I never really got that much enjoyment from it til i met a man who really knew what he was doing...........................he left me breathless ...........

 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 8
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:16:27 AM
Dear Strawbs08,

Please share his technique. What did he do so well?
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 9
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:21:35 AM
I'll be buggared if i know.................all i know is that i felt exhilarated & my eyes were rolling back in my head..............i wasnt watching,just feeling,LOL !

Lots of moisture,tongue,hard,soft..............he just knew what he was doing.
Sorry i cant give you the specifics,Op,but as im sure you'll appreciate,i didnt ask him about his technique.I just appreciated it !

 TBLZ
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 10
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:27:45 AM
OK, I know this is backwards but I just don't like it...

I think it has something to do with the way I was raised (long story) and it's just too intense for me...legs trembling, squirming all over the place,need a pillow to muffle the sound of me screaming...
 princesspinkpixie
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 11
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:36:47 AM
Too intense??

WoW! I didnt think there was such a thing as too intense!

Your legs are supposed to tremble and squirm and need pillows to stop the whole of the country from hearing you!

I know upbringing has alot to do with a persons way of thinking though

x
 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 12
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:37:45 AM
Dear TBLZ,

Thanks for sharing. Your story is fascinating. Would you mind saying if you can orgasm via intercourse? If so, how? I ask because I've found that the women who orgasm via intercourse do so usually when they are on top -- which allows them to control the pace and contact better than in other positions.

And, if you orgasm from both oral and intercourse, please share the difference.
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 13
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:56:49 AM
OP, I don't like it either. First of all, it truly does nothing for me, in fact it's boring and annoying. Second, I tend to get yeast infections from it. Don't believe this is possible?

http://women.webmed.com/features/below-belt-gynecology-secrets-you-need-to-know?page=4

N.

 princesspinkpixie
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 14
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:19:37 AM
Remember only 4% of women can orgasm through penetration anyway but both feel different but not so easy to explain.......sadly for you guys that try,its not what you do,its what you don't do that makes the difference
 rossal
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 15
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:47:52 AM
I am in that 4 percentile (although have been celibate since divorce, waiting for the "right one")


....always have had an orgasm with intercourse.....also with oral sex. Brought up as strict as one could be (Baptist, single mother...super strict, and no knowledge of sex), one would have thought I might be uptight, etc....but I think because I had NO knowledge of sex, etc.....just did what came naturally?! No pre-conceived notions or hang-ups.

Being free-spirit helped; how ironic....that I was in the army.

Rossal
 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 16
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:53:44 AM
Quick question about orgasms from intercourse. I've found that the women who can do this most easily prefer to be on top, so they can control the pace. Is this common? Or, can the women in the 4% just orgasm from the pace set by a man in the missionary position?
 magicsafari
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 17
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Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:56:29 AM
With patience and encouragement you may find that she *comes* to love it.
 caro2008
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 18
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:31:45 AM
if shes happy orgasming thru intercourse, it might just be she knows that it will take longer with the oral, and just wants to get what she wants sooner! if she is one of the lucky ones who can orgasm thru intercourse alone, then thats fair enough, im not gonna eat vanilla ice cream when i prefer strawberry!!
 forumsonly50
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 19
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:46:31 AM
tomzeer,

Being on top not only allows a woman to control the pace but, more importantly the stimulation to the clitoris. When on top she can move in a manner that applies the appropriate pressure and manipulation of the clitoris. Missionary does not allow for this control and the pressure is more from in/out motions rather than the rubbing of the clitoris which, at least from my perspective is most critical to an climax. Just one woman's perspective.

As for oral, hang-ups about body image tend to be the biggest reason some women are not comfortable with receiving. A woman needs to feel good about herself and also how she is perceived by her partner to relax enough to enjoy receiving oral from a partner.

Really good questions! Hope this helps.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 20
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Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:55:06 AM
Women that don't like it or claim they don't like it probably are worried about many of the things already noted.. cleanliness, appearance, scent/taste... or perhaps that they will then be obligated to reciprocate and they aren't interested in that. Having a shower with your partner prior to indulging in oral should help with the cleanliness/scent issue. Taste can be impacted by diet. Putting a blindfold on her can help too. Biggest thing I think is to reinforce how much you WANT to be there, and WANT to be doing it, and how BEAUTIFUL she is, and how YUMMY she tastes, and how GOOD she feels against your mouth. Use all of your mouth.. lips and tongue... vary your strokes.. tip of tongue, flat of tongue, up/down, side to side (you'll get less tired with side to side apparently).. soft, hard.. flick or circles.. suck or lick... each woman will be different in what she likes. Don't forget to add fingers in there too.. but not too soon... waiting or holding off insertion of fingers or toys can drive her crazy and be just the right stimulation she needs to go over that cliff. Placing a thumb near her vaginal opening, on her perineum and pressing can trick her into thinking you are inserting something, but aren't... putting a thumb on each side and pressing and spreading them apart slightly will give her a totally different sensation. For me, if you insert too soon, you spoil it for me.

Realize that some women won't be able to relax during oral and orgasm might not happen.. don't make the focus be the orgasm. Make the focus be all about making it feel good and progressing the moment.


Quick question about orgasms from intercourse. I've found that the women who can do this most easily prefer to be on top, so they can control the pace. Is this common? Or, can the women in the 4% just orgasm from the pace set by a man in the missionary position?


I can orgasm *hands free* while on top, but only if he lets me be in total control... as in please just sit there and let me use your c*ck for my own pleasure... don't move. I have orgasmed from missionary, but I have to be incredibly aroused first, and the movement has to be just right... CAT works in this case.
 Andy.....
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 21
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 6:58:33 AM
I think for the majority who don't like it, the reason is lack of confidence or some kind of inhibitions.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 22
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:15:16 AM
I agree that alot of it is an inhibitions issue. Particularly early on in a relationship. It's a very vulnerable position to be in for a woman. Think about what could be running through her mind!: 'Am I fresh enough?', 'What is he thinking?', 'Is he going to stop before I cum?' Face it, we KNOW what you guys are thinking when your getting a bj! 'Wow!' - But seriously, how many of you worry: 'Is she uncomfortable?' 'Am I choking her?' 'Can she breathe ok?' 'Will it taste bad?'
I also think (and I'll probably get blasted for this) a lot of women see sex as a 'what can I do for you?' rather than a 'what can you do for me?' sort of thing. Face it, we're givers! It's hard to get into the 'it's all about me for a change' frame of mind when you're thinking 'he's not getting anything out of this'.
My advice: once there is a solid trust, assuring her that you want it to be all about her - and that it's what YOU WANT. . . they may 'loosen up'.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 23
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Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:45:27 AM
I think what some people missed is that people are wired differently. As well as the way they are raised, which was brought up..

BUT some guys have this thing of practically licking a sore on the clit, and since that is extremely uncomfortable, to totally painful, this would make a woman NOT want someone do that. Especially if she has a particularly sensitive clit...

It is all about finding out how SHE works... Just like men, there are certain spots on different men that works well, and others that they would rather stable their eye lids shut then have done.

I had a ltr with someone that liked to have his testicles squeezed so hard I feared they would pop... It seemed to seth in pain, but loved it at the same time... OK what ever.

Point being, everybody has sensitive and not sensitve parts... If you meet a gal that can orgasm in minutes through vaginal penetration go for it.

As for the others that say some don't like to have to give oral, yes, that is true as well.

IT IS about communication, and if you don't know your partner well enough to be able to ask her what she does and doesn't like, it seems to me it is JUST SEX, and not something that is really meaningful...

Call me a prude, but I would perfer to wait until I can tell my partner what I like and don't like, as well find out what he likes and doesn't like... THAT IS important to me..
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 24
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:47:08 AM

Biggest thing I think is to reinforce how much you WANT to be there, and WANT to be doing it, and how BEAUTIFUL she is, and how YUMMY she tastes,...


You know, my ex actually said all of these things and what it did was annoy me even more.

N.
 TomZeer
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 25
Why some women don't like receiving oral
Posted: 10/10/2008 8:01:50 AM
Dear ForumsOnly50,

Thanks for the insightful, wise thoughts. I bet the body image issue was the cause for one of these woman's dislike for oral. While she was (and is a beautiful) woman, she did not have a great "self-image" of her body.

Is there an accurate estimate of the percentage of woman who can orgasm from intercourse who can do so without being on top?

I ask this question, because some men believe that if they cannot make a woman orgasm from their efforts during intercourse, they are deficient lovers.
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