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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?      Home login  
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 n2art
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 1
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?Page 1 of 1    
Ok so he feels the need to give me an unsolicited ring. What is the significance of this? Booty call? Something to get you to hang around? Just because? Why bother if he's seeing someone else and admits it later. Please explain this one fellows - this is a first for me. Usually I'm given presents for a reason - Christmas - Birthday - relationship getting serious. Why do that?
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 2
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:34:58 PM
LMAO ... sounds like you're his new "best friend" ...
 hamburger
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 3
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:35:19 PM
Could you elucidate a little bit?
What kind of ring was it, a diamond solitaire? An emerald? A twisted piece of silver he made for you? Out of a gumball machine?
Did he say it had any meaning or just pull it out of his pocket and say "Here, you can have this.."
Were you in a fight? Could it be make up jewelry?
Is it something he can easily afford or did it significantly hurt his finances to buy it?
Maybe (for all I know of the guy) he gives jewelry instead of flowers or stuffed animals as 'just because' presents.


Why bother if he's seeing someone else and admits it later.


How long have you two been seeing each other? Is he simply dating multiple people, and enjoys giving presents to those he likes? Or have you been in a relationship and he just started seeing someone else?

See all these questions I'm asking? Wouldn't it simply be easier to just ask him one?
 Thunderstorms62
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 4
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:35:35 PM
Generally rings are given as a sign of endearment. (Love, friendship etc.)

A woman gave me a ring before while we were in an exclusive relationship.......
I was grateful. The LAST thing that I thought of at the time was whether there
were any ulterior motives. (silly me...haha) I said Thank You.

If you are uncomfortable with it.........give the damn
thing back. (duh) Better yet, have it appraised and sell it. Yeah, and then you can
tell him that you lost it down the sink drain.
 StevenHouston
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 5
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:39:43 PM
More details, please.

Are you dating him? Having sex with him? Does he date more than one at once? Is the other a ltr that is fading? Is it a nice ring, or a $100 job from the showcase at ? Do you like the ring? How did he know your ring size?

I frequently give presents for no reason, sometimes to just friends, but usually to best friends or love interests. Sometimes I see something and think, oh, Xxx would like that, so I buy it for them.
 guernsey_donkey
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 6
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:54:21 PM
Well, yeah, we are notoriously averse to commitment, so we avoid engagement rings if at all possible.

But I hope you said 'thanks'!
 tsncc
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 7
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 4:58:13 PM
Just make sure not to wear it on the left ring finger!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:03:00 PM
Based on your other thread I suspect he:

1. Wants to give you something in hopes you will reconsider walking away from him after finding out about the other girl he's been dating, and thinks a ring is the way to go.

2. Wants to give you something that marks you as taken in the event you decide you also want to see others (or just generally doesn't want anyone making advances on you).

Just a guess.
 FAPhoenix
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 9
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:04:52 PM
I once bought a ring for a girlfriend without thinking anything of it really. I was out of town and saw a ring and thought "That looks nice, ______ would like it." So I gave it to her when I got back...

Needless she read way more into that thing than I ever put into it. So, sometimes, just sometimes, a guy might buy a ring for no other reason than he figured "Let's get this girl a present."
 corindan
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 10
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:10:43 PM
It means nothing...except that he thinks you are a cheap whore who can be bought with baubles, and who won't presssure him for more of a relationship if he can con you into half thinking that you are sort of semi-engaged. He considers you mentally equivelent to a 5th grader with some stupid 'friendship ring', or such.
 AndrewTS
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 11
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:23:04 PM
Rub it before you chuck it. It may be the ring from the Lords of the Ring. Or from the Niebelungingung. Or from from the Brown girls (...in the ring. Tra-la-lalla-la. Boney-M.) It may be his burning ring of fire, or his ring around his collar. I won't stoop to mentioning celestial bodies, from which the guy's pawn-shop owners daddy took it in from.
 guernsey_donkey
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 12
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:24:41 PM
Nice, you up there /\ (corindan)
Feel clever now, do you?
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 13
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:58:47 PM
OP: Many guys won't gift rings to women they're involved with, because there's too much baggage tied to them, in terms of the significance that women attach to such gifts. Typically, a ring signifies a desire to advance the relationship to a more significant level... such as moving to dating from FWB, or towards exclusivity, if that is not yet the case, or to test the waters for how an engagement ring would be received.
Some guys, though, will give any gift without thinking of how the woman would take it... so if they expect she'll like it because it's shiny, they'll buy it for her, and it means nothing more than that they are still interested in her enough to spend money on her.
Or it might be a 'get out of shit' gift... like many guys give flowers when they know the woman is pissed off at them and hasn't explained why, so they need to do something... or he was feeling guilty about something and decided to give a gift to soothe his conscience.
See, there are too many possibilities for anyone to know, without just asking him. So try that.
 n2art
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 14
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 5:59:41 PM
DjChickie I think you hit the nail. That's what that ring was all about. It is a small heirloom looking ring 9 small sapphires in white gold. Said it was his aunt's ring. Wanted it back if we broke up. I have a jewelry box full of larger pieces I bought for myself. I haven't seen him in 4 months and he hasn't asked for it back.
He sends me an occasional text.
 corindan
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 15
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 11:42:42 PM
I always feel clever...because I am. So, Donkey...are you the twit who tried this grade school ploy on some poor woman? If not, why do you care what I say about him?
 corindan
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 16
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/10/2008 11:54:05 PM
A gift once given can not be gotten back...unless it IS an engagement ring, AND the engagement ends. In some states you could keep the ring even then. In other states you'd have to give the ring back if YOU broke the engagement, but not if he broke it. Since it was NOT an engagement ring, he can not get it back...unless you choose to give it to him. So...what Karat is the white gold? What size are the sapphires? Are they real, glass, plastic, or what? Says who? If you haven't seen him in 4 months, you are broken up...and he does not want the ring back? That says either it is not valuable, or it is not his/his aunt's. It is either a piece of junk jewlery-chrome, and glass-or he stole it and is using you to hide it from the cops who are searching his home, place of work, etc, for it. If the ring were his, and valuable, he would be in contact with you more than by a text message, or two, over 4 months.
 moparjunky
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 17
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:18:06 AM
I think people are right about you read more into than he did. Don't get me wrong I think you should. I mean to get a ring for someone is a pretty big step to mark a dating anniversary or any holiday after a long term relationship has been in effect. If you aren't in fact getting engaged. You make it sound like he kinda threw it to you. I feel sorry for the family if it was in fact an heirloom.

Next time he is texting you tell him to come get it and say goodbye forever. If he doesn't want it I say throw it in your jewelry drawer if it doesn't bother you otherwise give it away or trade it in , I myself couldn't keep it around. I can remember every girlfriend I've ever had starting from 2nd grade ,but , I don't want reminders.
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 18
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:30:35 AM
Usually jewelry is a sign someone really cares and you're a steady couple. It's strange he's seeing someone else. I usually don't say this, but in this case, I would ask him why he's given you a non-engagement ring if he's seeing someone else. Seems odd to me. Or just keep quiet for now and watch to see if he drops the other woman.
 Texwolf
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 19
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/11/2008 1:31:09 PM
The price of the ring should tell you. If its high dollar means more then a modest price one. Best thing to do is ask the guy that gave it to you he is the one that knows.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 20
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A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/11/2008 2:32:40 PM
It's a booty marker.
Only the best FWB's give em or get em.

If you're suffiently awed and grateful you'll still be there inbetween his other girls.

It means he has a list and wants to keep you on it.
 bamagal63
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 21
A ring - not an engagement - what does this mean?
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:07:45 PM
I also recieved a ring from someone special this year. It was his mother's ring. He slipped it on my finger. On my right hand. It wasnt an engagement ring or anything like that just a ring showing me just how much I mean to him! I was truly grateful! It is still dear to me as he is as well!
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