| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:05:14 PM | I have decided to reach out and ask this question. I know there many ways to view children with disabilities, how to help them gain control of who they are, and some wonderful way to educate our children,
My son goes to a school sys. they seem to believer in restraint, two adults holding a child down when he or she is acting out toward others, or not following direction, to the point of frustration and in most cases proving to have disastrous out come , such as rage..melt down as some would like to call it..
I have a meeting on Tuesday, I have read many of the NYS edu. and I have proof that the school system has broken many. That is another issue I will be addressing..
For now, there plan is not working, and they disregard my input, I put this plan together in hopes the school chooses to follow it at least my concept ..
My question is to teachers of special education, would this be a style plan that you would use, assuming you had a child with social needs /issues, who can't focus his attention for more than 5 min. My son has OT, speech, counseling,
Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Attitude
1)What activity is Kyle doing
a)How do you believe Kyle is feeling before he starts his new activity
i) Is Kyle already stressed
ii) Is Kyle happy
iii) Is Kyle excited about what is coming next
iv) Is Kyle ready to move to his next assignment
v) Have you discussed with Kyle what is going to happen next
vi) How did Kyle respond to his new activity
(1) enthusiastic
(2) reluctant
(3) indifferent
2)Kyle starts to show signs he is not going to follow directions before an activity or while in new activity
a)his facial expression changes
i) tight lips
ii) direct eye contact
b) his body becomes tense
i) hands tighten up, as they are placed either to his side or in front of him
ii) leans forward and glares at you
iii) his body becomes tense
iv) sometimes will stomp his foot
c)his language becomes
i) confrontational
ii) recites from memory language that is not appropriate/off topic
iii) repetitive as he speaks off topic non-related language
3)Possible reasons for redirection
a) Communication ideas first
i) Ask why he does not want to follow directions
ii) Ask why he does not want to do the task presented to him
iii) Ask is there something else he wants to do
b) Is Kyle frustrated or bored with his task
i) If Kyle is not sitting still
ii) If Kyle’s focus is directed towards somewhere else
iii) IF Kyle is over stimulated
iv) Is Kyle bored
v) Is Kyle frustrated with his work or task
The concept is 6 jars, boxes or any type of container. Every jar will be decorated with a different theme, one for every day of the week. . These themes will include things that Kyle has an interest in. The 6th jar will used as the surprise jar.
Each of the five jars will have lessons or activities that are required of Kyle. These lessons or activities might be but are not limited to, spelling, writing, math, computer time, story time, music, free play, etc. This concept might be used to redirect (SEE ATTITUDE) Kyle if you see or about to experience negative responses to his lessons or activities he is presently doing or during the transition to a new activity.
If by communicating with Kyle you find he is becoming less responsive, more irritated as he is doing his lesson or activity, try suggesting the cookie jar. Where he get to choose his next activity, (“by surprise”) his aid/TA can assist in that activity, either in the class room or in a quiet place other that the class room, I would suggest out of the class room..
Before Kyle picks his activity, as you both stand in front of the jar, now would be a good time to discuss his behavior, if though, you feel that a discussion will escalate in to something other than a positive result. Redirect Kyle, have him choose his new activity, and then go to that quiet place. Show excitement as Kyle begins to pick his surprise from his surprise box. You also could have Kyle assist you in locating the materials needed for his new activity. Kyle enjoys helping, however, be careful that he doesn’t get to excited about locating and gathering those items and materials, needed to complete his new activity.
• As his aid or teacher is in the process of redirecting Kyle, other staff members should be aware by observation and listening, make a quick decision based on their observations. The staff should move other children to a place Kyle might not have direct contact with, therefore reducing the chance of harm to others.
• This is important, Kyle will not do well if two people are trying to calm or redirect him at the same time, he will become more stressed and confused. His limited reasoning skills will become more impaired to the point they are nonexistent, to use your words a meltdown.
I’m hoping you both made it there successfully without major incident, now would be a good time to discuss his behavior again, this is done until he realizes what he has done to disrupt his class room etc. Note: this room or place, Kyle must not think of it as a punishment area, but rather a place to take a break and vent. After your successful discussion with Kyle you feel he is ready to start his new activity, do so. I would also like to point out, Kyle “NEEDS” to vent, no matter what he says, and he has to do this for a successful outcome. Sometimes this may take 5 or 10 min. even up to 1 hr. Depending on how you want to stress his improper behavior. You might want to remember this; Kyle cares, and if you choose to ignore him, that sometimes works. Because he wants to please you and it makes him sad when you don’t respond to him. He then will ask why you aren’t talking to me. Don’t give in, be silent for about a minute or so, then tell him why he made “you” sad, and continues the discussion about his behavior. Do Not interrupt him, let him finish, then ask your question again, or another question as it might pertain to Kyle’s last statement, (many times he will often say I already told you) respond by saying yes you did, but I want to hear it again, because I don’t understand. Do not show aggression, yet be firm in your voice, you may show some sadness as well. Kyle responds to someone who is sad; yet don’t put him that stage of feeling guilty for his actions, remorse yes, because it’s much easier for someone to understand mistakes then to say they are I’m sorry. If you pass that guilt on, you have already suggested you’re not going to forgive him. Your best posture will be either sitting or kneeling, keeping your distance about 3’ or so, but lean forward in a non threatening way, Kyle will come to you when he feels more comfortable with the situation. Kyle will walk back in forth sometimes in circles, he is normally thinking when this accrues, give him the time he needs. Kyle will also apologize, do not accept his first offer, repeat all the events, several times, Keep in mind one of the many ways Kyle learns is through repetition, not only through your words,, but importantly through his own repetition and words.
The 6th jar is a bonus jar set aside for the teacher, in this jar, is everything that Kyle enjoys. Those activities could be, visiting the kitchen, going to the gym, outside for a walk, playing kick ball, and any stress release methods that best works with Kyle. However this 6th jar Kyle (“does not”) pick from until he is out of the room. Now that we have separated him from other children you both must leave the room, go to the quiet place. Let Kyle carry the jar, Suggest he must be careful with it, because if he breaks it or drops it all the surprises will be lost or broken. The point there is, both hands are holding the jar and he is less likely to use his hands for hitting pushing or shoving. Your thought might be, what if Kyle decides to throw this box, Have faith, he will not, especially if he thinks that is his special box.
• For example, Kyle has a bike he enjoys riding. If he doesn’t do what I ask of him, or he is acting inappropriately towards others or me. I will make several attempts to stop his behavior, “if I fail” to change is deposition, I will suggest to him, Kyle I’m going to take the front wheel off your bike. His reaction is the same all the time; he becomes sad, and angry. But now I have changed is focus away from others and back to him. Kyle does not want his tire removed. Now we get to talk about the tire, and as he calms down, and I tell him I will not remove his tire. Now we get to discuss his previous behavior. It normally works every time. If it doesn’t work, I tell him I’m going to get a wrench, by now he is fired up. When he sees me with the wrench he becomes more than willing to discuss all of the issues at hand.
• I’m sure the teachers remember his favorite tie from last year. Kyle and I had some issues with him picking up his toys in the yard, after several exhausting attempts to have him pick up his toys, plus he was squirting our friends with a garden hose. I gave him one last warning,, if he didn’t do as he was told,, I would burn the stuff/toys in the yard starting with his tie, Kyle doubted me, and refused, The tie went in the fire, he was very upset, crying. I let him yell; scream at me for doing such a terrible thing to his possessions. But, when he calmed down, I went right back to my original request, he replied immediately, because he knew what the consequences will be.
• What I just described was a negative action to gain a positive result. Something I choose not to do, but I have had to learn different approaches to deal with and to understand Kyle.
• I have just given you a glimpse of the special unique little boy Kyle is. Understanding this little boy is a challenge yet it can be quit rewarding. What I think is very important to remember, Kyle does not understand everything we expect from him, it is just that, that makes him special, therefore it is up to us to have the patience needed, new inventive ideas to help him excel in this world that so many call normal, yet in Kyle’s world he may be seeing us as the one who are the abnormal one, consider that..
• One of my favorite saying is,
Adapt, Overcome and Improvise. I challenge you, his teachers/friends to step up to the plate, adapt, overcome and improvise. You will find your experience with Kyle will be so much more rewarding if you remove the pressure from him to conform, but rather you as the adult conform to his needs. I will agree learning and understanding his needs is the challenge. Therefore it is up to you to step up to the plate. Remove the barbaric idea that this little boy, or any child needs to be restrained as an alternative way to teach my son or other children.
Please do not try and chance his loving attitude,
Meeting Notes;
To all that responded to this forum, I that you, I don't believe I will have the time to answers any question, but I will read your comments,, thank you again... | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:04:28 PM | OP...I dont have a child with these types of issues.
So any discussion/criticism I post...you'll have to discern as to its relevance.
Im only attempting to address what seems logical to myself.
Maybe an outsiders perspective and observations could just as easily be of benefit.
The questions I pose are rhetorical to give you food for thought.
* how many other children are in the class?
* assuming there's atleast a dozen or more children in the class...how much time do you think teachers have to delegate to one child with an admitted attention span of 5 mins?
That type of scenario could easily take place several times a day and be to the detriment of both the personal and educational needs of the other pupils
* imagine if EVERY child's parents offered/asked for their child to be dealt with in specific ways according to what they wanted. Do you believe any learning would take place at all?
* what child with an attention span of 5 mins will continuously react positively (assuming at all) to this type of stimulus?
* wouldnt it seem more logical to offer the "cookie jar" system as a reward for good behavior rather than attempting to bribe good behavior from bad?
Thus you will be teaching the child that if he acts out negatively, you will pander to him and he will ultimately receive a reward.
To offer him a reward for *established* good behavior seems far more conducive
ie. positive reinforcement for positive behavior
Just a comment to the current situation.
Although you may not understand or even agree or even see the benefit of them using restraint as a method of dealing with the behavior...
The fact is...its highly likely an extremely effective and fast tool to use to aid in the rage-to-pacify scenario.
With such short attention spans and a predisposition towards aggressive behavior...something quick and strategic that shows immediate results even if you dont like the method...is what they need.
Remember...these people are usually experts in what they do and what they implement even if its misunderstood by outside parties.
Its highly likely...the rage-to-pacify technique is the safest option for the staff, other students and your son...and is likely over quite quickly.
I daresay your son doesnt like it...which is what has brought this to your attention.
Just because its a different ideology to what you consider is the best...doesnt necessarily make it wrong.
These people have extensive background in what they do and the psychology behind it.
Its almost synonymous with Time Out Type-Technique but clearly its a far more intrusive therapy considering the circumstances.
Im assuming your child is still very young.
As he physically grows to adulthood...you will become the recipient of his maturing strength and find that to placate the child by restraining him physically, may be your only option at times should you not want him to
a) destroy everything around him
b) hurt himself doing it.
c) hurt everyone around him as well
Please consider carefully what you're doing.
I know that its borne out of nothing but great love for your child...
But there's always the possibility...that with your good intentions and not putting your faith in a system that doesnt work exactly by the book (what system works both in theory AND practice)...
...you may be jeopardising what your child really needs to bring him into adulthood and be able to function within society to the best of his ability.
Remember...your child will behave differently with you, than he will away from you and with the rest of society.
He needs skills taught to assimilate him with EVERYONE.
What you may be better doing is ASKING them for strategies to adopt yourself that will be reinforced in the home environment
JMHO
Try not to split too many hairs and attempt to assign blame by looking for "broken rules" to manipulate the system to bring it to its knees to get what you want.
The only loser will be your son.
Good luck!
PS. Maybe the "cookie jar" would be a great idea to implement at home...say...hey Kyle...I heard you had an awesome day at school today...how about your choice of the cookie jar for tonights/this weekends activities?
Teach him he will be rewarded for LONG term good behavior. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:36:40 PM | In the past, I have worked with people who have disabilities and some of them would become quite aggressive towards me, or other people, or objects. Every place I have worked at has had a "hands-off" policy. Restraints were a big "no-no" and I believe it also should be that way in schools. There is always another option.
The other post made a good point about how much time the teachers have to spend with one child if he doesn't have a large attention span or has lots of problems doing his work. However, I wonder if the "two adults holding a child down" could find time to work with the child instead.
I agree with you that you should bring your plan to the meeting and suggest ways that are more appropriate for Kyle and definitely mention things that work at home. These may not work at school, but at least it gives an idea of possibilities.
The other post also mentioned that when Kyle gets older, he may need to be restrained at home. I don't believe this is a viable option. As Kyle gets older the two adults at school may not be able to restrain him, it may need three then four, and then what? There will come a time when Kyle is too strong or too big to be restrained and then at that point, it may be too late to teach him alternate behaviours for when he is upset.
The school and you need to find reinforcements for Kyle's good behaviour, as well as consequences for his bad behaviour.
I do agree, however, with the idea that Kyle will eventually learn that if he doesn't want to do a specific task, he can act up and then will be able to do something different. The cookie jar suggestion seems more of reinforcing his bad behaviour rather than teaching him proper behaviour
unfortunately, I don't have any ideas of alternatives for you. it is a difficult situation.
I hope it works out for you and for Kyle. It may get more dificult when a plan is implemented, but it will eventually work out. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:04:42 PM | The other post also mentioned that when Kyle gets older, he may need to be restrained at home. I don't believe this is a viable option. As Kyle gets older the two adults at school may not be able to restrain him, it may need three then four, and then what? There will come a time when Kyle is too strong or too big to be restrained and then at that point, it may be too late to teach him alternate behaviours for when he is upset.
This was something I think I should have been more precise to what I actually meant...and Kyle's Dad...Id bring this up in the meeting myself if I were you.
Ask them why they use restraint...what they hope to achieve from it..and if they do actually offer other strategies (they may well and likely do have others)
The restraint may be necessary for now...but you dont want it to become a scenario that is taught to him to pacify his rage or that things should always lead to those types of altercations.
I think you *should* allow them some leeway with the technique but draw some defined boundaries on it.
Because you dont mention how frequently this type of thing is happening will depend on how often its used.
I think...with the limited information you've given...Id opt towards minimal medicating (if necessary and if its not a path you've considered and under the guidance of a genuinely dedicated GP) and focus on learned positive behaviors as you're doing.
Restraint as a last option...but nonetheless an option when necessary.
I wish you'd mentioned what age your son is.
If he's only young (5-6) and entering school for the first year or two...the restraint may simply be a short-term strategy til Kyle understands what's expected of him and settles into a comfortable routine.
If he's a little older and hasnt had aggresive tendencies at all til now...Id tell them to stop it completely.
If he's older still...is violent and hitting pubescence...it simply needs to be addressed in any way they can.
Although as I said... I dont have a child with these issues...I know of someone who has a son with these problems.
They have chosen not to medicate nor restrain the child and completely opted for learned strategies...and ended up building an entire room in their house that was soundproofed that they eventually had to pad because their child literally destroyed the walls and was hurting himself terribly. The child does not improve.
To me ...that was just as bad as restraint...because the child was completely out of control and dysfunctional in every sense.
He will likely never be able to function in society.
Try to draw a balance.
Just because you adopt the use of a strategy at an age group or in a specific situation...doesnt mean it has to continue and lead to bad learned behaviors if you dump it as soon as you dont "need" it.
You can drop things any time...pick up something else...and lose that when you need to as well.
The one thing you can likely guarantee with Kyle is...what works today...may not work next week or next year. Same as every other little boy.
ooo...I just saw Kyle on your profile...handsome little boy! | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:35:32 PM | Let me clarify, my son is in special edu, he has an IEP, he was diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder,NOS.
I do thank you for your opinions, and comments, and i am aware of the issues you bring to light, However, as a parent who is interacting with the school sys. they are required by NYS edu. to educate my son to the best of there abilities, if they fall short of that, they must comply with the standards of education. That is another issue that I am addressing,,
The concept of reinforcing negative activity is certainly the way people who are not involved with children with a disability,, might view the cookie jar idea as an negative, However without the eduction/ knowledge teaching children with type of disability, educators and parents must think out side the box,,
The concept behind the cookie jar is neither about punishment, or rewards, it's about removing a child from a situation before it becomes violent or an uncontrolled situation that explodes into disrupting a class room and defusing a potentially harmful situation for other children and teachers,,( let me say, my son is not a monster,he just need patience.. as do many children with learning disabilities). The school sys waits for that situation to happen without proper redirection of a child, my child,, then they want to use restraint, I believe there is more of a humane way to deal with these issues,,
Can you image what runs through a little boys mind when two adults are holding him down,, I wounder, how adults would feel if two men holding a woman down, and voilated your personal space,, no need to answer,, because we all know we would not like it and most likely would press charges,, Children deserve the same rights if not more that adults,, who is going to speck for them,, I am...it is wrong in the day and age to use barbaric ways, we have the power of knowledge to overcome anything,, violent activity should not be in the list of choice, when other ideas have not even been tried. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 7:47:11 PM | The concept behind the cookie jar is neither about punishment, or rewards, it's about removing a child from a situation before it becomes violent or an uncontrolled situation that explodes into disrupting a class room and defusing a potentially harmful situation for other children and teachers
I do actually understand that...but I dont personally think thats what he'll get out of it.
You could just as easily have done anything else to draw his attention that wasnt going to be perceived as a reward.
Your choice though.
Can you image what runs through a little boys mind when two adults are holding him down,, I wounder, how adults would feel if two men holding a woman down, and voilated your personal space,, no need to answer,, because we all know we would not like it and most likely would press charges
People dont randomly pin other people down.
Neither would the staff be randomly pinning your child down. Please try to keep a perspective on it.
However in hospitals, prison systems etc...its common practice to pacify violence.
Its neither unheard of...nor an extreme means to a situation that warrants it.
If for example...you came across somebody attacking somebody else or destroying your property or *whatever*....you would restrain them til they at the very least stopped.
Not much different
In fact...its legal to do it.
Dont get caught up in your child's "rights" rather than look at the bigger picture and what is actually BEST for your son...when the long term problems will be so much more devastating...particularly for Kyle.
If you do not teach your child what is/isnt appropriate he will become the adult that destroys that property that doesnt belong to him or accidentally hurts somebody else when he gets angry and doesnt know any better...
...and 4 grown men will have to pin/hold him down because he'll overstep people's personal space who dont know anything about him...
And if you're lucky...restraining him is the least that they will do to him.
I dont envy you...just think about it carefully k?
I know you love him...and I know you're hurting for him. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 8:25:49 PM | Can you image what runs through a little boys mind when two adults are holding him down,, I wounder, how adults would feel if two men holding a woman down, and voilated your personal space,, no need to answer,, because we all know we would not like it and most likely would press charges,
Come on, you know that there are times when no matter what you do, kids/persons with PDD are going to go off. Depending on their size, they can risk hurting themselves and/or others. The method of restraint you're talking about isn't quiet as barbaric as it sounds.
I had a very LTR with a girl whose son has PDD. In times of stress and acting out, one thing that got him centered and able to get back onto task, was tight hugging. In school, the restraint method would usually calm him down within 10 or so seconds and he was never bruised or "damaged". Remember, these teachers and therapists are trained in these methods.
Let's look at it from another side. Suppose your son was having a good day, staying on task, etc., when all of a sudden another student in the class started "freaking". Would you prefer that student be restrained or be allowed to continue thrashing and risk hurting your son? Yes, I know you have your cookie jar method, but again, you know as well as I do that there WIIL be times when it could take up to a few minutes or more for a raging child with PDD to get back on task. During that time, for liability reasons and for the safety of everyone, they really have no choice but to use the restraint method.
I understand your concern and I'm not saying that it's not somewhat justified. However, it's all designed with the safety and well being of EVERY student involved. I suspect that talking with the school about it is going to be the best thing - maybe get them to show you how the restraint is done. Further, I commend you for caring enough to come up with your system. It seems like most parents of PDD kids, all have their own little bag of tricks that work best for their child. We had many similar systems, but the one that worked best was his pecs book. He was able to communicate better and express frustration, stress, pain, & his emotions through pictures. This did a lot to keep him on an even keel.
I wish you all the luck in the world, but I would also suggest that you try to look at ALL sides of the story with a truly open mind, before you take any actions that might ultimately not be in your son's best interest. I fear that by taking such an invasive stance and "challenging" teachers & therapists, you could be overstepping your bounds. It IS possible to get your point across with being so... condescending and confrontational, so to speak. Think this all the way through and understand what the consequences could be. PDD kids are not incredibly receptive to change and being forced to withdraw him, could do more harm than good. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:07:05 PM | I thank you all for your comments, However I can not respond to everyone, I would like to just to educate you on this situation,, This is about intervention, to replace the restraint procedure.. It can be done,
For your information, yes the school system can use restraint, and i do agree, However it can not be used as a standard practice, even if the attempt to, the NYS edu. clearly states, they must get pre approval before it can be adopted to an IEP. Secondary, a human rights committee must be established, to monitor this ,, The school sys. must submit detailed information on tactics they tried to use and failed at,, that have to monitor a child's daily activity, take notes of those activities, time of day, location, they have to show that they have tried many different ways and procedures in redirecting a child with disabilities.. I could go on and on,, and yes the school is supposed to have a program designed special for each child with a disability, that is the whole concept behind an IEP. That is why some children have a 1 on 1, teachers assistant, or an aid, they are two different types of people,, and aid is not allowed to teach, yet they do,, but a teacher aid, is allowed to carry out the special ed teachers instructions,, to implement that plan.
I know this is an open forum and I expected to get many responses but the truth is,, so far your opinions are off topic in most cases, That is why I addressed this question to professional in the teaching field.. this is not a topic I'm sending out to address my son future, nor is about prisons,, or comparing one child against another,, that is where so many fail,, because each child is different and have their learning disability, in a group I agree, this is a way of diagnosing a child, by testing,, yet pull that child from the test and the standards, they then become unique just like you and I..
Think of it this way,, no one here likes to be grouped as all men or all woman,, that same holds true with children with disabilities,, I understand why many would have the opinions that you do, however, most are without merit, conjecture into a situation you know nothing about. I would like to keep this topic about the behavioral plan, and that is it.. again thank you.. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:07:44 PM | As a volunteer, I go with families to their IEP meetings and many times I put this document onto a diskette or CD for them and have printed out many copies for team members:
Blueprints for Success
http://dpi.wi.gov/sped/ebdbluepri.html
I totally agree that your son should not be restrained. This tends to make things worse. However, a firm hug usually worked to calm my son, but this isn't always appropriate in a public setting.
It is very hard to let a child calm down on his own, but the best thing is to really just stand quietly and wait. It can seem like an eternity, but usually the child will calm down in a few minutes, if left alone. You stay nearby to be sure he doesn't hurt himself or run away. (If they don't believe it, have them get a timer or stop watch and use it!)
The aides need to have better training. They are just afraid that things might get out of hand. You can put into your son's IEP that everyone working with your son, including aides and other staff like the caffeteria workers, and even the janitor--anyone who might need to relate to him--have training in your son's disability. The staff need to have several tools in their toolbelts--not just, "hold him down!"
If you haven't already, contact your nearest Federally funded parent training resource center. The one in my area is called WI FACETS.
http://www.wifacets.org/who.htm
They can help you with information and training in advocating effectively for your child with his school. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 3:42:08 AM |
I totally agree that your son should not be restrained. This tends to make things worse. However, a firm hug usually worked to calm my son, but this isn't always appropriate in a public setting. It is very hard to let a child calm down on his own, but the best thing is to really just stand quietly and wait.
Every PDD child is different in this aspect, so to say that it's best just to stand quietly by and let the child calm down on his own is kind of a naive statement. Have you ever been present when these episodes occur? Often times they are accompanied by aggression towards who is ever closest to them (possibly even another student). In my experience, to stand by and do nothing, especially if the child is older and stronger (and PDD kids are INCREDIBLY strong), isn't usually the best option. BTW: why would a firm hug be inappropriate in this case? That was usually the quickest & most effective way to deal with my ex GF's son when he got out of sorts.
Further, I guess I'm wondering why none of this ever came up in an IEP meeting. I've been to MANY IEP meetings and that's the time when old strategies & new strategies are discussed & worked out with/by the parents & school personnel, as well as points of concern are/should be expressed. Certainly OP couldn't have been completely oblivious to the restraint process/method being used by his school?? Even if it's a public school, these things are still discussed. If OP's son IS in public school & he's not satisfied, he can always move him to a private school that is more suited for special needs children and have it included in his IEP - the school district should pay for it as well as any special transportation required to do so. Something else OP could consider is a compression vest. We've used one in the past with great results - it really helps keep certain PDD children centered and feel secure. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 11:51:58 AM | I work in an alternative school in which physical restraint is used. Staff have to have a great deal of training before they are allowed to use physical restraint, and being involved in a restraint is extremely difficult, emotionally, for all parties involved. Staff will only use restraint as a last resort to prevent harm. As you stated, OP, there is a great deal of regulation and oversight that goes into the monitoring of physical restraints, so I'm sure it isn't used without thought.
As far as your plan, it's very difficult to comment on the specifics because we don't know your child. That's the concept on individuality. We don't know what will or will not work for him. I am certain, however, that the school has some sort of behavioral plan in place, that takes his individual needs and strengths into consideration. As Navigator said, you are entitled to, and should, present these suggestions at the IEP meeting.
If you need help accessing resources for support in bringing this to the IEP team, please feel free to email me. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 12:23:52 PM | "Every PDD child is different in this aspect, so to say that it's best just to stand quietly by and let the child calm down on his own is kind of a naive statement. Have you ever been present when these episodes occur? Often times they are accompanied by aggression towards who is ever closest to them (possibly even another student). In my experience, to stand by and do nothing, especially if the child is older and stronger (and PDD kids are INCREDIBLY strong), isn't usually the best option. BTW: why would a firm hug be inappropriate in this case? That was usually the quickest & most effective way to deal with my ex GF's son when he got out of sorts. "
Unfortunately, hugging, even though it is a basic human need, is not allowed in many schools today....very sad.
I have experience or I wouldn't have posted to this thread. I have a child with Autism, and have another child with ADD. I do respite for families of children with severe disabilities. And I am a trained advocate for parents of children with disabilities. I have been present for these kinds of episodes for 14 years.
The best way to deal with this is prevention. There are many ways to alter the environment for a child so that the episodes do not occur. There are many resources available with ideas for this.
What my experience has taught me is that where a child looses control (or you could say the adult looses control of the child) one of the people involved has already become used to aggression and/or restraint. The child may be experiencing this at home already, or the teachers have done this and are used to it. There are many classrooms and entire schools where more severely disabled children than this one are handled and restraint is never used at all on a disabled child. My son's school is one of them. The tendency is to try to cut corners and not do the things that would help a particular child to stay calm and in control, or not to notice the signs a child gives that he is experiencing high levels of anxiety or distress. It goes without saying that someone in this situation needs a lot of patience, resources, and training in how NOT to use restraints.
Restraint is and should be a last resort, usually meant for people who don't know each other, such as a policeman intervening with a stranger on the street. When there is the opportunity to get to know a particular child, that information is priceless and can be used very effectively in preventing a situation from escalating to an out-of-control one. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 12:29:07 PM | Thank you
If you need help accessing resources for support in bringing this to the IEP team, please feel free to email me.
Everything in my sons IEP is in place, even a behavorial plan. Including all services he needs. My attempt was to and still is to have that behavioral plan chanced/modified, to better deal with Kyle, for the school to think of alternative ways, that might better deal with any issues, I'd like to add, My son existing behavioral plan works 90% of the time. My Goal is not to stop there, I want to see a plan in place that will work 100% of the time, yet I'm willing to compromise and say,, lets get better,, 95% of the time,, and after we reach that gaol, why strive to eliminate restraint completely,, with the thought we will never have to use restraint again, but it's available if it should be needed..
Now wouldn't 10% more learning in a classroom be better than 90%, it's a win win for all concerned,  | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 12:37:19 PM |
Unfortunately, hugging, even though it is a basic human need, is not allowed in many schools today....very sad.
That is so true, and you take a child with a lovable personality and you take that away, as the school did with my son,, now he has to learn a new way to communicate,, and what is the opposite of hugging,, it could be pushing, hitting. and I saw the change happen to my son,, he is confused on what behaviour is acceptable,, and in what environment is hugging the right thing, yes High fives are good,, yet PDD children do need some pressure and hugging, is't there instant way of getting it without asking.. because they are used to it,, as parent, my son and I hugged, any time and at any place. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 12:52:31 PM | is it,,
I agree with you. The goal should be to have no restraints. We would all like that. Unfortunately, that is an extremely difficult task at times.
I just got off the phone with assistant superintendent of school, this person used to a principal where my wife once taught .. I called to get her in site,, They use no restraint what so ever in that school district, she said matter of fact, they won't even send there teacher for the training..I won't discuss any thing further about that conversation..
I have spoken to other friends who are teachers,, in other districts, they do not use restraint either.
It can happen, more parents need to speak up for a better way. unfortantely the school my son attends is small, and little behind the times, We as parents can sit back and do nothing,, or we can advocate for a better way,, there are many ways ... it's starts with reeducation of the school system.. | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 2:01:28 PM |
I thought you didn't want to argue about the use of restraints?
Hmmmmmmmm,, as I laugh,, do you really think I consider what I have been saying as agrementive,, It's just exchanging ideas,, I could have fun with that statement, My friends would understand,, but I'm not sure you would.. LOL
I sit on the committe that reviews the restraints that happen in our schools. If you don't restrain a child who is becoming violent and another child gets hurt, how do you think the parent of the hurt child feels?
I'm guessing then it was a human rights committee,,established by the school board. That is a good thing,, I can't tell you how another parent would feel,, I wouldn't like it. yet I would understand it..
Now wouldn't it be nice if our educators could, and they do,, defuse issues before restraint is even needed, I can be done,, with the proper programs, proper setting, behavioral plans that work, proven redirection methods, the list goes on,, it just take work to establish a program that works. Mind you this is different than a school setting, yet it's still social with structure,, I've never had to restrain my son, one reason is, I am in tune with him,, I pick up on his moods, his actions,,we talk it through, and if i know there is a good possibility of communication failing,, redirection becomes my focus, it's really quite easy,, all someone needs to do, once they know that child,, if focus on that child, and forget what our needs are,, even if we are going to be late for an appointment,, if we reveal our stress,, it flows over to some children with disabilities, they can for some reason pick up on that stress, there are so many ways to defuse conflict with a child, well before the rage stage sets in,,I'm really just seeking for my son, Although I have not experienced what many challenges teaches go through every day,, if they can do it without restraint,, it can be done,, | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 3:08:24 PM |
I'm guessing then it was a human rights committee,,established by the school board.
My guess would be that it is more of a legal liability issue. The school needs to protect themselves from lawsuits being filed by parents (or even faculty) whose children may get hurt during the aggression period if the aggressive child isn't "controlled"
OP, if you're not happy with the school that Kyle is at, why not move him? It would still be taken care of by the school district, etc. Find a school that is on the same page as you with regard to restraint, teaching, etc. However, NO ONE is going to know him, his stims, or signs of frustration better than you. Further, these types of things have a way of morphing as time goes on - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So, the more communication you have with the school, the better. Call IEP meetings, pay visits to the school, etc. and offer up the ongoing information. I'm not saying that you should exactly tell or challenge the school to conform to any one particular method, but relaying information often, can sometimes make the difference between Kyle having a good day and a bad day. BTW, have you tried a compression vest or clothing?
Again, I admire your willingness and desire to keep searching for techniques or anything that will work best for Kyle. It seems like a constant battle and some parents don't seem to have the "energy" (for lack of a better term). It's like finding a needle in an ever changing haystack, but all you can do is keep trying. It's by no means an enviable position, but is most certainly, incredibly admirable! | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/14/2008 4:25:18 PM | I had a 2 1/2 hr meeting today, and next Wed, we have another, the purpose of this last meeting was to exchange information and ideas, I think there were 11 people there plus and advocate via phone,
I will say the school is not a bad school, and Kyle is doing well, It's I'm against restraint as a routine plan of action,, I want to be assured that all possibilities have been consider, and they have not proven that, so I will fight this issue until they can show a aggressive attempt to explore new ideas,,
Nav, you were wondering earlier, why haven't these issues talked about at Kyle IEP meeting,, they were, but,, restraint was not being used at that time nor was it ever used,, One has to ask what has changed, what isn't working anymore, has Kyle become bored with their existing plan, and he my find that not as challenging or two challenging he now in 2nd grade., or he could be manipulating his teachers,, he is a very smart boy,,
There was a positive change, already, Kyle get picked up on the bus in the morning as he always has,, but after school,, he get a ride home in a car,, less stimulation, and he like to talk,, and he had a wonderful experience to day..
As for moving I'm not the type of guy who packs his bags when thing don't go the way I like, we live in a world that is full of comprise, and moving will never,erase that from life.
compression vest or clothing?, yes those items have been used, I just learned today,, Kyle does not respond to that any more, in O/T,, the thought is he has out grown it,, that is a positive thing.. that's leaves the school and me, with more question, Kyle is going seeing two developmental pediatricians , soon..gotta love two opinions... it is not the first time he has seen one,, I just thought I'd save the question..
Nav, thank for the compliment,, | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:04:02 AM |
Hmmmmmmmm,, as I laugh,, do you really think I consider what I have been saying as agrementive,, It's just exchanging ideas,, I could have fun with that statement, My friends would understand,, but I'm not sure you would.. LOL
You were the one that admonished everyone on this thread for focusing on the restraint issue, and yet YOU keep bringing it up. You wanted advice/opinions on your behavioral plan, and I offered them, but you primarily focused on the part of my post commenting about the use of restraint. My friends, I’m sure, would understand my point of view as well!
I agree with you that the focus should be on de-escalation, and in our school it is. Our staff receive a great deal of training in this techniques. As much, if not more than they receive in physical restraint technique. However, in a group setting, de-escalation doesn’t always work, and safety is the number one priority. I’m glad that you haven’t had to restrain your son, but you are also not in a situation in which he is also being influenced by the rest of the children. I have no doubt, that if your child were the one that came home with an injury because staff decided not to restrain another child who was physically out of control, the post would be much different. It’s very easy to sit back and judge what others aren’t doing in a situation, but teachers are human, and they do the best they can each day. It can be overwhelming sometimes to be in a special needs classroom, and they also have personal stress, lack of sleep, illness, etc like the rest of us! I’m quite certain they have all the children’s best interest in mind when making decisions on how to handle situations.
Navigator: You are correct. It is a risk management committee that I sit on. We also have a restraint review committee, that I will sometimes sit in on, that looks at the clinical issues involved when a child has to be restrained. We take restraint very seriously, and view it as a treatment failure, so we are continually looking at how to reduce the number of restraints on a macro level, and how to better deal with each child’s triggers on an individual level. But, there is also huge liability in not restraining an out-of-control child. We are frequently dealing with staff and other children who have been hurt by another child, and often parent’s threatening lawsuits.
I wish more parents were as involved in their child’s treatment as you are OP, but a cooperative attitude goes a long way. Teacher’s do this because they have a passion for it. This is not an easy job, and I can tell you from experience that having to restrain a child is just as hard emotionally on the person doing the restraining as it is on the child being restrained!
I will say the school is not a bad school, and Kyle is doing well, It's I'm against restraint as a routine plan of action,, I want to be assured that all possibilities have been consider, and they have not proven that, so I will fight this issue until they can show a aggressive attempt to explore new ideas,,
It should not be a routine plan of action, but I doubt that it is. It should ONLY be used when there is imminent danger to self or others! If it is being used as a behavioral control plan, that is a problem and you should continue to fight that. You are the best advocate your child has, and I have no doubt you are one of the parent’s that we would love every parent to be! | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:30:11 AM | OP - I have a child with special needs and while he hasn't needed to be restrained I would be concerned as you are if this was occuring on a regular basis.
My 1st suggestion would be to try to get him a 1-on-1. They will be better able to watch his facial cues and behaviours and remove him from a stressful situation before it gets out of hand. Since the 1-on-1's only responsibility is your son, they can give him their full attention in a way the teachers and teachers' aides can't.
My 2nd suggestion is more of a question - have you been able to observe him in his classroom? If not, then that may help. I like to show up unannounced now and then just to peek through the door or sit at the back of the classroom(so as not to distract my son) to see how he is in class.
I was able to see that times when he "tuned out" was because the teacher was covering material over his head. For ex: If they're covering transportation(buses, planes, etc.) and my son isn't tuning in, then she can go to old standby's that he does understand and tune into like colors, letters, and spelling the word to draw him back into the lesson. I was also able to see that my "sweet little angel"  would sometimes try to take 2 snacks and doesn't like to share. 
I also saw him push a boy who had been messing with him during recess. Now if I hadn't watched the other boy mess with him first, I wouldn't have known why my son pushed him and may have thought he was just being violent or aggressive.
One thing I've learned is that kids with special needs often have delayed reactions to things and they might not react to something or someone until waaaay after the fact. So having someone to watch your son(you or a 1-on-1), see his interactions in school all day, and then be able to put together some cause and effect may also help reduce the amount that he is getting restrained.
Sorry this was so long.
I wish you and your son the best. :) | |
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| Dad seeking advice from special education teachers,Cookie Jar Behavioral Plan,
Posted: 10/15/2008 11:17:52 AM | Sunshine, yes a he has a 1 -1 TA, I have been to his class, I'm not sure if it's him or me who disrupts the class or it's me,, it is me though,, because Kyle is so excited about me being there, he introduces me to everyone, we have gone for walks because that disrupts the classroom, as walk, my son introduces me to everyone he knows,, and I'm amazed, 8th grade students he knows, maintenance crew they all know him,, and my son is so proud to say,, meet my dad ,, shake his had,,
Kyle is well liked every where we go, We go to the store and if there is child below the age of 5, acting out, crying, etc.. all my son has to do is walk up to that child, in seconds the child stops crying,, I'm amazed by it,, as he talked to the other child,, as their parents are as just as amazed as I am.. | |
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