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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:07:15 AM | Can someone please explain to me why men that would never approach me in the pub or club do so on here? What do they think is different about being on here? It's puzzling me because i have recieved lots of mail from men that i never get approached by whilst out...i'm not moaning about it..just curious as to why men are so much braver on here!!  | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:08:26 AM | It's easy for anyone to be 'brave' whilst sitting behind a monitor.
It is, after all, their 'safe place.'
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:09:30 AM | No one can see them get rejected on here, so the bravery goes to the sky, better than liquid courage  | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:09:51 AM | because its behind a screen?? Is it not obvious. We can hide.... If we get rejected we can just close the IM and never talk to you again. ;D If you pull a knife... well you will just be stabbin your monitor.  | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:13:19 AM | sometimes u just need someone to point out the obvious...duh!!!
Thanks guys and gals! xxxxxxxxx | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:17:06 AM | I call it the Walter Mitty Syndrome. Shy, mild-mannered guys get on a dating site and suddenly become Super Stud.
It has been my experience (and I've had a lot of it) that if you agree to meet these guys, they are either a no-show, or are so danged nervous they can't even carry on a conversation. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:21:58 AM | | May I steal that, Walter Mitty Syndrome, it sounds like it comes straight from the DSM | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:24:31 AM | | One of the reasons is the fact that yu are a very good looking woman and you probally have a lot of guys around you when you are out. Most men don't want to be rejected in public so they will contact you here so if you refect them they can just move on to someone that won't. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:29:18 AM | | Tha'ts a perspective i'd not looked from before..thanks Wingrider(for the compliment too! lol!) xx | |
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Posted: 10/16/2008 11:37:32 AM | Online dating is an "amplifier"
( Let me first laugh out loud at the implications that it's just about super shy men getting major cojones because they are hiding behind a monitor)
There is a disparity between the number of men and the number of women on most online dating sites. A moderately decent looking woman ( to men's view, not women's view) will get far more attention online than she might in face to face life. She's competing against fewer women against the backdrop of more men. And it scales down, a moderately unattractive woman ( to men's view, not women's view) will also get far more attention online than she might in face to face life.
If man approaches you with the intent to date you and try to sleep with you, at a base level, he finds you physically attractive. This is how most men operate and it's just plain human nature.
If a man doesn't approach you with the intent to date you and doesn't try to sleep with you, at a base level, he doesn't find you physically attractive.
That core interaction doesn't change, it's just accelerated and happens at a greater clip online. | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 7:08:20 AM | It's the internet...If you don't like the scenario, just "click, delete, or ignore" (and sometimes, "block") without ever leaving your taskchair...In the bar, you still have to get up...and head for the door...
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ISSGOD
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Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 12 | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 7:46:25 AM | When it comes to dating I avoid bars/clubs like the plague. So even if I saw you in the bar I would not hit on you because I am not there to hook up. On the rare occasion that I do hit the bars it is with a friend that I have not see for a while and I want to do some catching up with my buddy.
There are just some places I consider off limits when it comes to dating such as bars, nightclubs, Church, Hospital, Cemetery… etc. But that is just me. | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 8:21:09 AM | Some guys have "form letters" that they broadcast out. I got a letter a few weeks ago and then the same one again a couple of days ago.  | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 8:36:18 AM | | another reason might be that they do not have their "buddies" around them to rag on them about their choice in ladies. | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 9:48:59 AM | Same reason internet bullies do the crap they do online.
"Internet bravery".
It is a bit annoying though. Again DELETE is an online daters best friend.
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Posted: 10/17/2008 10:19:00 AM | Since my divorce twenty years ago I always used a dating service. The reason being the person has let me know they're single. How is one to know the person in a club is single? Maybe it's girl's night out? Maybe they have a b/f they see other nights?
Also, there is the question of timing. Maybe the gal is single but is out with her friends for a birthday party, for example, so she's not interested in meeting someone at that time.
Finally, we hear so many stories about women being insulted because guys try to pick them up.
All things considered I don't see it as bravery, just common sense. When there are so many dating sites why bother with a "cold call"? | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 10:32:01 AM | Well because in bars/clubs on a Friday or Saturday night is generally full of drunk teenager girls, groups of 45+ year old women "hunting" guys like a pack, or they are falling over in the gutter been sick, oh and did I mention drunk?  :P
I like to find out a woman has a nice personality as well as a nice physical appearance, however in pubs/clubs they either are not single, to busy playing to the crowd of guys or just can't bloody hear each other, not much chance of a good chat. For me personally, doesn't matter if they are Aphrodite's herself, if no warm personality there I loose any interest I had.
... yes I must be old.
Edit: PS, like in my main profile picture there are plenty of women out their, but like the above poster mentioned they are out for a birthday, hen doo or whatever so not looking for a date/bf/etc. | |
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Posted: 10/17/2008 11:12:51 AM | Actually, picture this scenario: You are in a bar talking to a beautiful woman, hitting it off just great, and suddenly her eyes glaze over, and the alien that took over her body starts trying to get out. The slimy, wriggling tentacles start coming out of her mouth and nose, reaching out for you...
Hey, I'm opened minded, but let's keep it between the species, ok? Boy, I hate when that happens! What a turn off!
Anyway, that isn't as likely to happen if you meet someone on the internet and get to know them first. You can use the "humans only" filter. | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 2:51:19 PM | I rather like to meet people in person, I prefer to not date behind a monitor. lol. I could not resist.
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Posted: 11/10/2008 4:50:03 PM |
Can someone please explain to me why men that would never approach me in the pub or club do so on here?
Try seeing it from a guys perspective. Next time you go to a club image you are a guy trying to pickup a woman. | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 4:53:02 PM | | better and less expensive than "Liquid Courage" haha | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 4:54:52 PM | | like everyone else said.... the fear of rejection | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 5:20:52 PM | | Ha, it doesn't work for me. Shoot I'm even scared on here. Read the thread titled "Guts" haha. | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 5:24:54 PM | And too lets not forget ,beer googles blind lol!! At the pub have a few drinks ppl start looking better with every drink ,but on here well you kinda get what you see providing the pics are real | |
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Posted: 11/10/2008 5:34:15 PM | I would have thought it was pretty obvious.
On here you are definately single.
And looking.
In a pub or club you could be doing anything, like waiting for your jealous enormous boyfriend.
lots of risk involved there, no risk on here... | |
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