| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 6/17/2005 11:00:24 PM | are there any fellow nurses here in the pof forums? If so, do you have any funny stories? Or anybody else have any crazy medical stories to share? I was at work today thinking about this date I have in the morning and something popped into my head. I went up to my 2 other fellow nurses and told them, "I think I'm becoming severely dehydrated. I'm gonna need some lactating ringers STAT!" They busted a gut. So come on guys tell us what ya got. Hospital sex, charting errors, whatever!
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 6/18/2005 4:30:53 AM | | Yes..it's lactated ringer...which is refered to as "hand LR"...the ringer cant lactate | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 6/18/2005 10:22:46 AM | ha i'm not a nurse-but i'm an EMT and let me tell you what....we see what goes on in the house...haha...pretty amusing predicaments people get themselves into | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 6/18/2005 10:29:49 PM | ok here's another one. When I was in nursing school we were doing one of our clinicals at a local hospital here in town. One of the girls in my clinical group was assigned a young 20 something guy for the day. She walked into his room to find him having sex with his girlfriend. The student nurse screams loudly and faints and falls right next to the guy in his bed. one of the hospital nurses went to investigate the scream and found the couple still having sex and the student lying passed out next to the guy. Well, the nurse ended up stopping the couple's sexcapade, then got some smelling salts for the student. The student was allowed to go home for the rest of the afternoon because she was so appalled at what she saw. Wish it were me. I'd have closed the door and watched!
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/10/2006 10:54:41 PM | | Most of my family won't sit down to dinner if my older daughter and I am at the table together. We talk shop talk. She's a nurse, I was a health care aide. The best is things you find where they shouldn't be. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/11/2006 8:49:09 AM | one of the nurses I used to work with told me a funny story when she was a nursing student. She was selected to go check the blood sugar of a diabetic patient - infront of the instructor and class - she was nervous! Anyway long story short she was explaining the procedure to the patient and instead of saying "I'm going to prick your finger" yep you guessed it she said "I'm going to finger your prick"
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:30:22 AM | .
Worked as a researcher in our states largest teaching hospital and a lot of my time was spent out in the clinic and/or the operating room. The OR suite is one whole floor of the hospital and a couple hundred people work there on the morning shift. Yet, tell a good joke or interesting story in the locker room or coffee room out in front and it would get all the way to the other end within minutes -- usually changed somewhat after being told a few times, but it traveled fast.
After working way too many shifts back to back, I caught a couple hour break and so signed into one of the resident bedrooms for a quick nap. When my beeper went off, the gal in the bed next to me also got up. Apparently she was a resident and was also very tired and staggered into the wrong room while I was sleeping.
So we both got up so that we were sitting on the side of our respective beds, sort of dressed, almost looking at each other. I couldn’t find my glasses right away and asked, “was that mine or yours?” She said she didn’t know and looked at hers. “Yours,” she said and laid back down. “Shit,” I said and got myself moving. “I know the feeling,” she chuckled. “I know the feeling very well!” Then she rolled over and went back to sleep. And, as far as I know, I never saw her again. (That hospital campus has a population larger than many towns.)
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/12/2006 5:42:35 PM | I'm not a nurse, I'm a medical transcriptionist and even after a month I've got some interesting stories.
One doctor belched repeated into the dictaphone. It was really nasty especially because he kept talking while belching. So difficult to understand him!
Another doctor told her collegue to 'GO away..I'm ALMOST...done..shooo!"
And then just occupational things that I find funny. Like, on a psych consult the patient had severe social anxiety disorder so the psychologist (obviously not using their head that day) sent the patient to a GROUP therapy. Soon as the patient got to the door they had a massive panic attack and couldn't go in. Seems to me to be a little uh..self explanatory. Social anxiety - NO group therapy! LOL
Another one was on a patient who had expired. It wasn't the doctor this time but the computer program.. said the patient was 'discharged' and I started to laugh. Inappropriate yes..but they were DISCHARGED after they died...even though they went to the morgue. I found it humorous at the time.
Then the little asian doctor, she's so cute - stands about 4ft tall and is just ADORABL - does all the colonoscopies and it is just DISCONCERTING when she says in her sweet adorable voice "the procedure was extremely painful for the patient but otherwise I thought it went swell!" and the patient turned out to have internal hemorrhoids..which were swelling and causing him pain. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/26/2006 2:44:18 PM | I worked in brain injury with the disinhibited folks. We had very prescribed routines for how to respond when a person was sexually inappropriate, because of course we have to teach them that we are the staff, not his wife and he can't ask us to come to bed, shake his weinie and ask if we want some of this, etc. (yeah, seen those and part of the routine is you're NOT allowed to LAUGH!)
So one day this petite nurse goes into to see a fellow and he's mumbling. She is not particularly chesty. So the patient tells her "you've got big tits" and her answer is "thank you! (she said she didn't know whether to laugh or kiss him!!!)
He used to chase us around holding himself and try to grab our asses.... not his fault, he didn't know what he was doing. But we had to laugh. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 5/26/2006 9:39:13 PM | I worked as a nurse's aide in the seventies when we did what the RN's did, replaced bandages, cleaned bed sores, inserted and extracted cathiters(sp?), gave out medication, etc.
Any how another aide and I were ambulating this one really nice old gal. We were doing fine when she cries out "Help me! Help me! It's got me! It's got me!" We're against the wall nearly so the aide and I are looking behind, to the side and in front and we see nothing and this old gal is still crying for help, ready to cry cause something has her when I see she is stepping on the heal of her slipper. The other aide and I laughed so hard we fell to the floor.  | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/24/2007 5:38:26 PM | I have soooo many funny nursing stories to tell. They can range from nursing school when I charted the following, "Resps easy and regular. Husband easy." I was trying to chart that he was present and was charting while I was talking. How embarrassing when my instructor busted out laughing.  Or the time I was a nurse's aid and the patient had a BM and it was stuck to his balls. While we (myself and another aide) were cleaning him up, he was screaming (Loudly), "STOP RUBBING MY BALLS!" Repeatedly. When we exited the room, everyone was looking at us. In my 12 years of nursing, I have several stories. Every once in a while I'll giggle to myself about something that happened. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:01:44 PM | | How about the ones trying for a little sympathy? At one of my first jobs I had a very elderly man every night say "come on honey, just give it a little tug, my wife dies you know" Yeah i know now put that away! | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/25/2007 6:59:39 AM | As a personal support worker I am used to finding things in the wrong places, like dentures in the dishwater. He said, "Well, I noticed you had nice clean water in the sink and thought I'd kill two birds with one stone." Yuck!!!!
Another time I was in a meeting with other members of the care team, and the nurse said the following as she read from the client's progress report: "Mr. Smith is coming well with his new catheter." She had absolutely no clue why everyone else broke out in hysterical laughter!!!
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:00:07 AM | I've been a ward/unit clerk for close to 18 years.....nurses rock!
Over worked and underpaid....respected and loved by the patients and the general public, often undermined and brow beaten by bad managers and bad hospital politics and policies.
I often tease the nurses I work with that one day, I'll publish a book on all that I have seen while being "stuck" in the middle of all the action that happens in a normal day on a hospital ward....."Memoirs of a clerk"..... man, the stuff I could tell...  haha!!
Anyways, nurses are the best!! 
Love and peace 
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/25/2007 7:43:26 PM | To jewelslace, yes I have been propostitioned many times by dirty old men. I had a man who was 101 years old, that I was told was blind and wore these very very thick pop-bottle bottom glasses, he sure was able to reach out and grab my boob! I guess men are never too young to try those things.
To cuddlybuddy, I have soo many teeth stories. I used to take care of a little old lady that would take out her dentures after every meal and lick them at the table!!!  In front of several other residents. Or another lady who would take her teeth out after a meal and drop them in her water glass and leave them for the kitchen to pick up. They got to the point they knew who's teeth they belonged too. Or the lady who was confused and would go shopping in other patients rooms and come out with their teeth or glasses and later try them on. YUCK!
To Oldsoul, Thanks for the compliments to nurses. I think the same of you desk people who are answering the phone, making multiple calls, finishing Dr's orders and answering the call lights all at the same time. Kudo's to you. My ****ometer would be on tilt before the end of my shift.
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:09:00 PM | Hi registeredwoman,
Before I studied to be a PSW I volunteered in a seniors' home. One of the residents there, nearly 100 years of age and in the final stages of Alzheimer's, loved to go into the other residents' rooms. We would see her "scooting" down the hall in her wheelchair - propelled by her feet - wearing someone else's shawl, glasses, shoes, teeth, whatever, and not always where one would expect to see the item!! When she passed away she was greatly missed, simply because she was so cute, and quick!!
A sense of humor sure helps one get through the day in the health field!! | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:39:21 AM | i`ve seen so much in the 20 yrs i`ve been in healthcare (& some that aren`t so funny).. when i first started in healthcare back in 1987.. i had worked in a nursing home.. we had this 1 female resident who was not the nicest looking woman but was funny as hell.. she would make it a point on a daily basis 2 go & sit in the lobby inbetween 2 senior males (didn`t matter who they were.. just as long as they were males).. everyday she would walk over 2 the couch, sit inbetween 2 men, look at the both of them & say (w/a few teeth missing) 'touch my pu$$ycat' & get a big ole grin on her face.. the first day i heard this.. i was mortified (i was young back then).. after that i would giggle..
in the same nursing home back then there were always female & male residents that would 'get together 4 some fun' (most of them back then were married)..
i`ve had male clients as well as male residents hit on me & wanna take me out 4 drinks.. i`ve had a few that would just come right out & say 'hey tam.. come into my rm 4 sex'.. i would look at them & say 'dear.. if i came back 2 ur rm.. u would have a heart-attack!'.. ..
in the 20 yrs that i`ve been in healthcare.. i`ve had 2 look after husbands & wives.. which now i refuse 2 do.. .. wives can get sooooo jealous when ur looking after their husbands & they get this 'notion' in their heads that ur there 2 have sex w/their husbands!.. i`ve had wives beating on bathrms doors when i`ve had 2 give their husbands showers.. nothing was going on.. but their wives always thought there was!.. GFF.. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/26/2007 2:49:26 PM | I can remember a time when one of the residents, who had Alzheimers, was picked up by her own husband for some time at home. When she came back we would get her cleaned up for bed and she would have a lot of discharge!! Of course, you know that the husband still had needs and would "fill" them when he took her home. Yes, many residents hook up while at the nursing home. It's kinda funny in a sick way. We would open a closed door to find the man's hand in her blouse or up her skirt. That part of a man never dies, I just hope I still will have a little somethin' left by that age. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/27/2007 5:08:52 PM | I have been a nurse for almost 30 years. I could indeed write a book based on my experiences, the good, the bad, and the very ugly!! I have seen and heard things bad enough to make milk curdle!!
It still never ceases to amaze me how often the old letches try and grab your boobs when you are checking their blood pressure, or the horny old men who want you to show them how to use viagra........!! Oh my..........
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/27/2007 5:12:20 PM | | I'm not a nurse of the medical sort,but I haven't had any complaints yet,wink wink. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:27:54 PM | I've been an EMT for over 10 years. On one call this guy and 3 of his buddies were drinking and working on this guys car. He was under the car trying to fix the muffler with bailing wire when the car fell. All 3 of his helpful intoxicated buddies jumped in the car and drove it off him. Luckily he was in sand and had a large chest. All he had was some broken ribs.
Dianna | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:44:56 PM | I'm not a nurses but this just fits so well
I was once sitting in an ER triage room (waiting to see the doctor) that was divided only by a curtain, as they were asking question to the guy on the other side they asked him about if he used any recreational drugs. I could hear the guy not want to say but he said no…then a little later someone walked out of the room, I am guess his girlfriend??? Then he called the person over that was questioning him and he says…you asked about recreational drugs, does Viagra count? It was all I could do not to laugh. | |
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| calling any nurses!!!!
Posted: 11/2/2007 4:35:55 PM | | One of my favorites happened recently when we got an elderly guy admitted who is pretty much confined to bed. One of the questions I asked him was how long he had been bedridden, and he told me not for about 10 years when his wife was alive | |
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