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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Im 20 shes 16.      Home login  
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 Cobra_R
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 1
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Im 20 shes 16.Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I got one hell of a issue.

I am 20 and this girl who is the younger sister of a friend of mine is 16 there is a 4 year difference between us.

she has the biggest crush I have ever seen a girl have on me. I did nothing honest. the harder I push away the harder she pushes back.

her sister has no problems. however shes 16 im 20.... if she was 18 I was 22 it would look great... however... damn.

Now she lives on her own with her sister. her sister and her boyfriend have a 5 year differennce shes 30 hes 35. so she has no problem. I guess its just me.

what the **** do I do?

Now its not all about sex. like I am not trying to get in her pants. Its a age difference but at the same time my younger cousin she is 16 living with her 24 year old BF.
 sand_reckoner
Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 2
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:26:01 PM
i dont see any problem with it mate. if u are comfi as in she makes u feel good and u maker her feel good then why not? but make sure she actually loves u when she says loves u and not cos her hormones r kicking (which happens at this age). no single way to make sure of that anyway... but you will get hints over time. so take it slow and normal :)
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 3
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:27:30 PM
The age difference is not all that bad - even at your/her youngish age but ...

The legal stuff.

My first (real) gf was 15 (totally under legal age) and we ....... did not get caught lol. I was seventeen.

My second gf was 17 (still under age) and we did not get caught either. I was nineteen.

So ..... keep it in your pants or face the very real possibility of someone "ratting you out". That could happen later.
 Ambientflyer
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 4
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:29:12 PM
you're obviously worried and something is bothering you. If you really liked her a lot you would be going out with her already.

The fact that you are looking at this from a 3rd person perspective tells me right there that you should not pursue this relationships for many reasons. 1... your not that into her, 2... your more interested in talking about her crush on you which shows there is a maturity difference, 3... entering this with your mindset could turn very bad.

move along.
 avwrench
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 5
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:32:15 PM
I would be very careful if I were you. You don't say if you're "in love" with her, if you are, it may make a difference. A lot depends on how her family sees your relationship. If they see you as a "chester", you could get locked up! Does her sister have custody/guardianship? If not, her opinion probably means squat... If she's living as an adult she might want to think about emancipation (if it's. allowed in your state). Good luck & be careful!!
 *JustAnotherGirl*
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 6
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:34:00 PM
I see you are in Canada, so for those Americans who are about to scream about statutory rape you should know that 16 is the legal age here. So they can go and have as much wild crazy monkey sex as they want without worrying about the lawman harassing them.

OP I'm a bit unclear from your post. Is this a relationship you are interested in pursuing? Or is this a crush she just has on you and you are trying to figure out how to stop it because the age difference is bothering you so much?
 TropicalCs
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 7
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:36:58 PM
Well if 16 is legal in Canada then what would be holding you back?
 babiifireflii
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 8
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:44:13 PM
its only 4 years difference and shes legal age, shes moved out with roomates (so they happen to be related) she sounds like she could be a little more on the mature side, whats to worry about? you think you will be judged?
 The Glock Man
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 9
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:52:26 PM
She is no longer jail bait and is within legal catch limit a man your age.

stop freaking out before she thinks you are gay, chances are she is a virgin so be careful. If you like her wait a while.... she is 4 years younger but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. As I tell other young people if sex does come up practice safe sex.
 cupatea2010
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 10
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:13:54 AM
It's a crush........she is a kid.........don't let her grow up too fast now...She is experimenting and don't be her guinea pig ..k? I thought 16 year old were jail bait anyway?

We don't want to see a thread about you getting a 16 year old pregnant....and don't know what to do?

No matter who "adult" she might act..........she is still a KID.
 Ralleac
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 11
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:36:22 AM

I am 20 and this girl who is the younger sister of a friend of mine is 16 there is a 4 year difference between us.


I'd be careful with that. It's not a huge age difference on paper, but 16 is pretty young. Here in the states you would get a lot of **** for that, but if it's legal where you are then the public might not be as judgmental.
 princesspinkpixie
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 12
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:38:40 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ i fully agree.I have a daughter who is the same age and she had a crush on someone who was in his 20's.Its what teenagers do.

She might be legal but does that make it right?
 ~Angel-Eyes~
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 13
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:45:15 AM
I was 16 with a 20 year old, what the big deal? We got engaged when I was 17, married when I was 18, broke up when I was 21.......but hey, no regrets!
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 14
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:52:52 AM
Sounds like you're interested - where's the problem? If you want a teen then go for it


 princesspinkpixie
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 15
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:53:08 AM
^^^^ no kids with him then i take it?


When you have a daughter of 16 getting jiggy with anyone never mind a guy of 20 then you'll understand what i and the other lady means...........
 ~Angel-Eyes~
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 16
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:57:06 AM

^^^^ no kids with him then i take it?


Yes I have a 3 year old son.


And if it was my daughter, i'd be okay with it. My rule was always "no more then 5 years older". Now a 16 year old with say a 22 year old? No.
 princesspinkpixie
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 17
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 2:00:53 AM
exactly!

At 16 you wasnt mature enough mentally and now a kid in the equation


WHEN you have a 16 yr daughter then you can say what you'd do,until then you can only think you would say its ok.Whole different story when the time comes
 CanadianBeef
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 18
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 2:38:36 AM
16 means she isn't even out of higth school yet...I dunno...I've accidently had sex with a minor before...but I met her in the bar went back to her house and found out in the morning so I point the finger at other people, not myself.

The law says 16 is the legal age to consent to sex...which is weird cause I think it takes more maturity than getting hammered, but I digress...

It's legal, she's willing, jump on it!!!
 fritzle
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 19
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 3:00:54 AM
As far as I'm concerned, you're both kids...However, find someone your own age. Four years is not a huge difference but in this instance its pretty young no matter the legal age limits/or living out of parents home. It dosn't matter what everyone else is doing, do the right thing. The crush part of things seems to be what's massaging your ego and that's an awesome feeling. But find someone else more age appropriate to massage anything else you have in mind! LOL!
 november babee
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 20
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 3:45:54 AM
i think also that 4 years difference at age 16 is a big fifference, i wouldnt want to think my 16 yr old daughter was going out with and sleeping with a 20 yr old..
if you really like her, then date her, but wait for the intamacy until you have known her a little while and know wether you are going to want more than just a quickie with this girl..
a kid of 16 can have adult feelings but really isnt emotionally mature enough to deal with them until she is a little bit older...
 Racygirl
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 21
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 3:57:17 AM
Guys will say woohoo but as a mother I think it is totally wrong. I have a 16 year old and if a 20 year old came sniffing around her I would kill him.
Sure she may have a crush on you but you are the adult she is a child.
It seems though that it is *normal* from where you are. Trust me it isnt normal and any parent/adult worth their salt would be pissed off
 Truth and Lies
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 22
Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:07:19 AM
Let's be real. You have already decided to bang the girl and you are just here to get support and relieve your guilty conscious. Go for it. Just make sure that dateline guy isn't hiding in her kitchen.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 23
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:13:19 AM
What I find interesting is that because the age difference is a younger girl..and the young man is 20, he's considered an adult and should stay away....being the responsible thing to do...however, if that 20 yr old was with a much older woman people would be screaming he's just a baby himself. ( SMH)

My suggestion---if you like the girl speak to her older sister about it, seeing that's who she lives with, and find out their comfort level with the notion of you two 'dating'. Op, you know the young lady in question is interested..but realize crushes come and go...I know I have a fickle 15 yr old at home.

I have to say, my daughter's recent 'boyfriend' whose only 17, was instructed by his folks to break up with my daughter because they felt she's too young for him. My daughter was upset, but I told her things like this happen and to just let it go. Well, she did fine, but the young man in question kept calling my home professing his undying love for my daughter.

I then called his parents to ask that he refrain from calling my daughter because it was upsetting her. The mother acted indifferent, and I said to her...they both like each other...they are both teenagers....and will see each other in school on a daily basis. I respected their advice to their son, but as I pointed out to his mom...my daughter can not DATE until she's 16 ( going out on an actual date..not just stealing smooches in between classes at school).

I see no harm in the two of them being friends or even calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.....because typically the romance ends as quickly as the next boy of interest shows up. I will say, I did have a 26 yr 'flirting' up with my then 14 yr old daughter and I made it clear if he did anymore flirting he'd be getting a visit from the local PD.

Every situation has to be entered into carefully, making sure each party is emotionally prepared for the trials and tribulations of any relationship. Would I personally be upset if a 20 yr old was interested in my 16 yr old...that would depend on his behaviour and hers. If they are sneaking around to see each other-----that would be a no brainer, however if the young man in question met me and asked to date my daughter---that would be an entirely different story.


 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 24
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:24:04 AM
RUN as fast as you can. Stay the heck AWAY from this kid, she's trouble. If you really want to be accused of something you didn't do, just keep hanging around. Because teenage girls LOVE them some drama, and when you finally piss her off and tell her "it ain't happening," she's going to make up whatever she can to get back at you.

NEVER be in the same room with this kid without plenty of other people around. Tell your friend to keep her away from you, and tell your friend what she's doing so that someone knows that there IS another side to the story.

Your 16 year old cousin living with a moron has nothing to do with this, and it doesn't justify anything you do, nor will it get you OUT of trouble that you are going to get into if you lay one hand on this kid.

If you make yourself NEVER available to this kid, you won't have to "push," and she won't have anything to "push back" against.

This is not "just age difference," this is the difference between LEGAL and ILLEGAL, and you'd better stay away from your friends sister for about two more years.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 25
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Im 20 shes 16.
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:28:46 AM
Well, if he's in Canada, and it's legal there, why is this guy even posting? What's the issue here, other than it's kinda creepy...he can act on this if he wants to, so what's the big deal? Is he asking if it's creepy? Then the answer is YES.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Im 20 shes 16.