Gaz01
| | Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 1 | |
| | When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I found that people make silly excuses to avoid having a date. I am talking about when people agree to meet then two three hours before they suppose to meet one of them sends a text to say sorry I am not well or my dayuhter/son is not well.
How can you tell whether they are lying or being genuine?
It has happened to me a few times..wonder if it ever happened to any of you? | |
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AlmaM
| | Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 2 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:56:20 AM | IMO this is due to changing opinion about someone you are about to go out with, something around them feels uneasy etc..
But also children do get ill, you know  | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:58:57 AM | Er ... well ... if you are getting to know someone who has children, it's quite possible that their child is poorly. Children will definitely come before a date, as all mums will tell you. A little less cynicism OP, and a bit more understanding.
Perhaps the only way round this for you would to not arrange to meet ladies who have children. | |
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Gaz01
| | Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 4 | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:04:13 AM | But not always when all of a sudden you get conflicting excuses
It is still reasonable to assume they are not lying when they say their child is ill, their hamster has suddenly exploded and/or one of their legs has just fallen off.
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:05:00 AM | There's an easy solution to this, OP.
Once you have suggested a meeting, and the excuses have been made for it not to happen, simply say "OK, then I'll let you decide when and where" and let HER tell you when she's available to meet you.
If she then hedges and wont commit to a date - she doesn't intend to meet you.
Keep it simple. | |
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Gaz01
| | Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:06:38 AM | | OK it has happened to me when a lady send a text saying that her sons are ill and follows it up with e-mail saying that she is not well. What do you think of that? | |
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Gaz01
| | Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:10:54 AM | | NO I am not saying that she is lying but it was a general question does it ever happen? do people lie to avoid meeting? Can they not just say sorry don't want to meet. I am talking about both men and women. | |
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willow
| | Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:16:39 AM | Of course it happens, some folk would rather lie then tell you that they have got cold feet..
If someone cancelled on me twice I would stop arranging to meet.. | |
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AlmaM
| | Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 11 | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:19:47 AM | Of course there are always going to people who lie about lots of things, that's human nature. As above, really if someone messes you about like this on a few occasions, I'd consign them to the PoF bin of time wasters and move on to someone else.
I've been stood up, let down at the last minute and given the cold shoulder after a "date" lots of times. I've learned to toughen up and not be offended.
Take a deep breath and don't take any of it seriously. | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:20:08 AM |
OK it has happened to me when a lady send a text saying that her sons are ill and follows it up with e-mail saying that she is not well. What do you think of that?
If the son's illness was something contagious then it's perfectly feasible. | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:58:11 AM | i've had two cracking one's in my distant past..
one said his mother had been rushed into hospital with a heart attack and the other one said he had a car crash on the way to meet me and broke his leg!
yes some people will lie to get out of meeting, some people will genuinely have more important things to sort out.
i would go with SJS and let them arrange the next meeting, if they don't, they're not interested...easy peasy :) | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:13:50 AM | i went to meet someone when i was ill, i didn't want to cancel, thats dedication for you. not everyone is as honest to say, sorry i really am not interested. its just one of those lil facts of life.
but yes, people will lie, its kinda the human condition. | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:25:15 AM | I think a last minute change of plan is part and parcel of single parenthood at times. However, I'd always go through hell and high water not to let someone down.
A lot of people have busy lives, work, children, hobbies, a family, a social life and it can be hard to find time to set aside to meet up with people for dates. If I'm arranging a date or night out with friends etc, then I usually have to have lots of notice and I have to check my diary to make sure I can committ. I'd rather put a date off for a couple of weeks and feel free to enjoy it, making sure the kids are looked after, I'm not rushing to it after a stressful meeting etc and that everything is the best it can possibly be so that I can just relax and enjoy it. If someone can't wait then that's fine, if you have a busy life and they can't understand that then maybe a relationship with them is not worth starting. | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 11:08:23 AM |
I give 2 chances.Something comes up the first time,ok,something comes up a second time,they're gone.Simply gone.
^^WSS
OP give her another chance, it is the time of year to be unwell ( Ah-Choo ) if she postpones again, then move on dude  | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 11:30:59 AM | if you really like her then give it a shot ask her to be truthful with you so you dont feel messed about
it has happened to me before OP, it is always possible she found someone else to meet
the internet is wide and most people dont chat to just the one person at a time it is perhaps her way of saying not interested mate but chin up plenty more fish | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:08:35 PM | | Some people are nervous about taking that step from online to real life, I used to be a bit like that but now I think why worry, a first date doesnt have to be any pressure so just go for it and meet somewhere nice and chilled out and relaxed if they are worried about it. | |
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*kath*
| | Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 22 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:10:45 PM | 1 missed date...think no problem.
2 missed dates...think damn unlucky.
3 missed dates...think they ever really had any intentions of showing up and are just too cowardly to admit it. | |
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AlmaM
| | Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 23 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:18:24 PM | I never had this with online dates.. once with a French guy but I think his excuse was genuine.
But I had it with a non online guy.. one who I knew pretty well.. he invited to to an island, housed me to his lady friends house, all his friends were there but he never turned up... it was pretty weird as he called every morning and evening checking how I was, and saying he was coming over but he never did.I had a pretty good time with his friends, fabulous time actually  but everyone wondered what the hell is wrong with him.. then he met me on my way back and he was as drunk as a hell..
And he did this few times again, would invite me out and then make an excuse or not appear.. he did this in past too, but I guess this is his character and he cannot help it
Once he said his mobile and his laptop went abroad by mistake, and it took him 10 days to get it back, as after a party someone mistakenly took it in their car.. I did not believe this until I heard his friends laughing about it..
The problem was I really cared about these meetings, it is not some internet guy who you do not care whether he would appear or not.
So I stopped answering his calls and mails and he now starts inviting me again and saying I am nowhere to be seen ! | |
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| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 2:08:14 PM | | Oh this old one! this has happened to me many times in the past..until my uglier friend then me, gave me this advice..'never sit near windows or doors where potential victi..date can see you..remain in toilet, cubicle..so as not to appear to be willy watcher but pooer (lesser of the two evils. then come out when recieved text saying where are you? | |
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Osni
| | Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| When people make excuses to avoid meeting!!!
Posted: 10/28/2008 2:08:17 PM | | Things do come up, life is rarely simple. Conflicting excuses are usually a bad sign though. Cynically, the individual may habitually lie, either through not having the courage to admit they don't want to meet, or due to having some kind of personality issue. When the second one occurs (lying habitually to everyone simply because they do, even about very trivial things), the conflict in stories is usually due to them not remembering themselves what they said to you. However, this is the 'worst case' senario! | |
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