| | Is this a bad idea...?Page 1 of 1 | In browsing profiles, one thing that bothers me is when I see someone hasn't been added to anyone's favorites list. I know it's trivial and entirely insignificant what that little number says... it means nothing really. Nonetheless, everytime I see that someone is on zero faves lists, it seriously bothers me for some reason; I can't help it. I hate seeing that zero.
So not that I'd deliberately seek them out, but if I chance to see someone on zero lists, I think I would like to just start adding them to my own list. This wouldn't necessarily indicate some sort of romantic interest on my part though and I might not actually feel inclined to contact them. But if they wrote me, I'd of course chit-chat a bit with them.
So is this a bad idea? Should a man only add someone to his faves list if he intends to contact her and/or has deliberate interest? | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:55:03 PM | | only add if interested is my rule. No point in doing it otherwise. If they have 0 then they may be new or just well I don't know what else would cause that.. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:01:33 PM | It nice of you to be so sympathetic........I'm sure that's how you meant it.
But....
People use the favorites list in many different ways.
One way is that some don't allow themselves to be on anyone's list that they don't communicate with at all or don't want there.
Some forumites have many favorites on their list of other forumites.
It's a way to keep track of each other.
The MAJORITY of mine are forum members or those who like my profile.
I don't know that it would be a good idea for you to just sympathetically add someone whom you don't have ANY interest in to your favorites list just because they don't have any favorites. You really don't know how they, personally use that list.
Just sayin' | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:03:44 PM | ^^^^ I have *her* ^^^ on my list.. but, that's cuz she is uber cool.
****
A pity favoriting people?
Is that like pity sex?
Hmmm.... in your other posts you made impression of a nice person, so I will take that you are asking this with kind intentions.
I would suggest not to do it.
Some people prefer not to be on anyone's fav list unless they are somehow involved.
They delete anyone who adds them.
Others might take it as a sign of romantic interest and it could hurt them to eventually learn that you added them cuz you felt sorry for them... a charity event of a sort... (and not tax deductable either)
I would feel horrible if someone that I thought is romantically interested was to say "No, I just added you/wrote to you cuz no one else likes you"....
I only add people that I really like.
As it happens, most of them are other forum users... majority are women... and though I have no romantic interest in them it's very clear that I added them because of their foruming.
Very, very few guys make it to my list because I have romantic interest in them.
As for who adds me?
I have no idea... don't really check that anymore... if people add me and don't write to me, it makes no difference... does it?
PS And I have her VVV on my list so I can stalk her around forums... Ehh, I need to get a life... | |
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Erai
| | Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 5 | |
| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:05:39 PM |
or just well I don't know what else would cause that..
Some people deliberately remove everyone from their favourites lists save for the one or two people they are currently interested in/actively corresponding with.
OT: Some people actually don't see the Favourites List as some sort of popularity contest (this isn't MySpace or Facebook). So yeah, it's a really bad idea. Clearly you're not a forum regular so you haven't seen how bent out of shape people get over the really little things.
All those people you add to your favourites list are thrust into a quandary of "why would someone add me to their favourites list and not contact me? Does that mean they want me to contact them? Should I contact them or should I wait for them to contact me? What if I contact them and they get annoyed because I've taken the first step? Maybe they like women who make the first move? But have I made the first move because he did add me to his favourites list so technically did he make the first move.....? 
^^^^ I think your priorities are in order Red. ;)) | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:09:32 PM |
So not that I'd deliberately seek them out, but if I chance to see someone on zero lists, I think I would like to just start adding them to my own list. This wouldn't necessarily indicate some sort of romantic interest on my part though and I might not actually feel inclined to contact them.
So is this a bad idea?
Yep. If you're doing out of pity instead of friendship, why bother? | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:11:08 PM | Op, try a Thread Search using the word "favorites."
You will find that this topic has been covered on many occasions and
also see varied member opinions on the use of favorites.
So, are you going to be the Favorites Fairy?
Members go to sleep at night (0 favs) and wake up on your list.
What a nice guy! | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:13:46 PM | You have a different way of thinking I'd say. Some people clean up their favs lists daily.
Usually the poster is complaining about a person having too many favs on their list.
Ya just can't win.
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:17:23 PM | k... some good points have been made. It doesn't seem like it'd really be a good idea then. And maybe it could be as some have stated, perhaps some are deliberately keeping their list at zero... I'll try to tell myself that from now on.
I just really wish the faves list numbers were only viewable by the individual, rather than publically. Seeing that zero is like visiting a dog pound and wanting to just take every animal I see home with me and love them. It feels horrible.
I'm not sure which bothers me more sometimes, my own loneliness or that of others. Life can be so... difficult to take into perspective sometimes. I so very rarely ever have a drink but I think I'll have a little one now.
Thanks for the feedback. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:19:11 PM | | I delete people all the time from my favorites list...who really cares...and most people who are on it never email me...so i delete them. I sometimes will start talking to someone new and i'll allow them to add me but then that fades out, and i'll delete them too... | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:26:11 PM | Ahhh the Favorites List...
I like having "0" right now... I think there are some on there right now. If I have a Zero it is cause I like it like that. So no Favorite Fairy for me OK? Not a good idea.
Some days I care some days I don't... Sometimes I really don't like it when people can see when I am on or not...
~Charmed~ | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:37:15 PM | | I don't want anyone adding me if they are not interested in me. I am not interested in being popular. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:50:04 PM | | Only if there is an interest in the person OR they are a virtual friend. | |
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Oriole
| | Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:53:11 PM | | Actually you can remove yourself from someone's Favourites so they might be nobody's Favourite by choice. But if it's because nobody likes them, well, you're not really doing them a favour by adding them to your list. Remember that Simpsons episode where Lisa gives Ralph Wiggum a valentine? Something like that. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:58:01 PM | I don't remove anyone on my favs because they put themselves there and if they want to remove themselves, that's okay.
I have only removed a few on my own list....and I don't like to add a guy I like to my favs because I really don't want to know when he is on. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:28:19 PM | And its a lot harder to even try and clean out my favs anymore. Hardly any are local to me. They are all over this country and Canada because they are forum people wanting to track posts. So I quit trying as I didnt want to hurt anyones feelings.
Oh Well
Cowboy | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 8:33:29 PM | Dang, I have no idea how many people are on my faves (or is it that I'm on theirs?).
I also have no idea what my picture rating is, and I don't know why s/he didn't call/text/email after your date/first contact/sexual escapade.
I also do not keep track of who is posting in the same thread as I, nor whether they dis/agree with me.
Damn, am I self-centered or what?! | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:55:00 PM | I racked up over 200 men in a couple of months adding me to their faves. I went back to zero because it seemed ridiculous to have so many. I didnt know who these guys were, many of them didnt have a picture. Many were too young for me, too far, too old, simply not my type.
In two weeks I am back up near a hundred. Oh well.
I add guys to my faves who are not guys I could actually date, too far, too young, too whatever.
It is a cute little piece of fluff--the faves list.
I do notice that out of the two lists, my faves list has cuter guys on it. | |
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| Is this a bad idea...?
Posted: 10/29/2008 4:09:22 AM | some guys find a large number of faves a put off too...
we all see things differently, but i wouldnt put someone on my faves list unless i was interested in them, as i feel it gives the wrong message... | |
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