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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?      Home login  
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 JRose22
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 1
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?Page 1 of 1    
I'm sure I am not the only one to experience this, but many times this has happened to me and I wonder why? For example if I had a close guy friend and I wanted to remain friends, the guy would start to show way more interest in me and wouldn't get the hint that i wanted to stay friends. And on the flip side, I have been the other person in this type of situation. So my real question is do we all want what we cant have? Or is it just a coincidence?
 Mr.Clean0u812
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 2
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:43:20 PM
Its fun to see if you can get a girl that just wants to be friends to change teams.
 JRose22
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 3
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:44:26 PM
never thought about it that way, but it just seemed kind of odd 2 me. lol
 kewlpeeps
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 4
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 8:06:42 PM
Good question ... its a good way to explain why there are so many divorces and unmarried people. Then again it doesn't explain the people who never get divorced which is about 40% of marriages ...

I really did focus on what I wanted when I was 20 and younger. Since then I focus on what I need ... but I'm still single :(

If you figure this one out let the rest of know
 savage85
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 5
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 8:19:03 PM
Does it just fall into the grass might be greener on the other side kind of curiousity? And if they put up an even larger fence they try just that much harder to get over it? I think so.
 A__B
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 6
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Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 9:15:49 PM
1. grass greener on the other side of the fence
2. straight Greed
3. not everyone can just be friends with the opposite sex
 rejectingall
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 7
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Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 9:20:40 PM
Why do women want what they can't have?

Why do welfare recipients like Obama?

Its called GREED.

Don't dangle a sausage in front of a hungry dog and then act suprized when he wants to eat it.
 JCL1 SEQUEL
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 8
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Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/3/2008 11:06:45 PM

do we all want what we cant have? Or is it just a coincidence?


Its forbidden fruit and all that isn't it ? Its often the case where if a man[ or woman] is told something / someone is strictly off limits and unavailable then it becomes instantly more desirable and a challenge. It goes back to the hunter / gatherer . Women like to be chased and men enjoy chasing.

Here's an analogy for you to consider. Men go hunting and when they make a kill they bring it home as a trophy and proudly display it stuffed on the mantle piece. If however , somebody dumped a dead deer at your front door. You would phone the local council and have them take it away.
 banditjason
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 9
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 12:01:58 AM
u answered your owe question
 CGY
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 10
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 12:08:31 AM

Why do welfare recipients like Obama?


I guess that's why corporate welfare cases like the GOP, eh?
 settoloki82
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 11
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:18:46 AM
Perhaps the only reason you were friends in the first place is because he wanted more - maybe he was just waiting for the right moment to talk to yuo about it and waited to long.
Poor guy probably been crazy about you for aslong as you have known him - Can atleast guarntee one thing if you gave him a chance, he would treat you right, Sounds like a decent guy.
 Aurora772
Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 12
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 4:07:55 AM
I think it's probably because the other person is being nice even when they're saying no that leads to unrealistic hope. If a chick flat out told me "no" and poured her drink on me, well, that's that. But if she says, "Aw, let's just be friends" and then hugs me, well, I'd have a tendency to keep hope alive. Extreme examples, yeah, but you get the picture.
 Schneizel
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 13
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 6:11:43 AM
Grass is always greener on the other-side.
In your case it's not clear enough. You must still be single and showing no interest in anyone else.
 Leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 14
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 6:53:06 AM
Simply put; People do it because they can, no morals, self respect or integrity. They don't care about you enough to care about you.
 Nathie5988
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 15
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:37:06 AM
The grass is greener on the other side,
No one can explain why,
Its just human nature.

Nathan.x
 simon23
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 16
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:30:50 AM
Maybe feelings develop naturally between close friends who are the opposite sex, and sometimes its one sided?
 Emil72
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 17
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 9:56:47 AM
I believe both women and men have the same issue. Always wanting someone or something they dont' have. It goes to a human char. We always want better for oneself..but with that being said....lets look at it another way. We are a curious race and we always want to peek the curiousity.
 JoeS71
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 18
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Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 10:20:38 AM

I'm sure I am not the only one to experience this, but many times this has happened to me and I wonder why? For example if I had a close guy friend and I wanted to remain friends, the guy would start to show way more interest in me and wouldn't get the hint that i wanted to stay friends. And on the flip side, I have been the other person in this type of situation. So my real question is do we all want what we cant have? Or is it just a coincidence?


You're a pretty girl... hormones kick in... Yeah, they were likely intrested from the word "go" and just hid it well in hopes something developed. It's no coincidence, just the nature of the beastie.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 19
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 10:24:22 AM
well, when you have the person you don't 'want' them anymore in the same sense, because you have them.

You no longer want, you have.


so whenever you want something, and it isn't so, that inward desire will grind on your mind.

Want is pretty much the drive to attain something. When that want can't be fulfilled, it lingers.

When you see a pair of shoes... Like me for example... I really want that $500 dollar leather jacket I saw in the store a few weeks ago.... I want it bad.

Never will afford it either.

But everytime I walk passed that section in the store and see it - it's lingering... reminds me.

This is what makes being friend zoned so crappy. You're constantly reminded of something that can't be realized. It's like that Leather jacket with the price tag, and you walk by it every day.
 Sacred Journey
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 20
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 11:59:44 AM

do we all want what we cant have? Or is it just a coincidence?


Granted, we've all played the fool at some point in our younger days, myself included... but I believe the majority of us have learned the value of only persuing someone who reciprocates the interest. That being said, some perhaps are slow learners.
 theskinny
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 21
Why do guys seem to want what they cant have?
Posted: 11/5/2008 12:17:44 PM
Pretty close to what I thought when I came into this thread.


I think it's probably because the other person is being nice even when they're saying no that leads to unrealistic hope. If a chick flat out told me "no" and poured her drink on me, well, that's that. But if she says, "Aw, let's just be friends" and then hugs me, well, I'd have a tendency to keep hope alive. Extreme examples, yeah, but you get the picture.


Very clear signals make a world of difference. If you give them the sense that there is even a remote possibility , they will want to keep trying. The reinforcement keeps them wanting what they can't have.
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