| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:21:52 AM | After we exchange fishmail messages, across the pond, the question arises of who we should actually meet for date.
This seems like a no-brainer to me. The whole idea is to meet more people, roight?
Not everyone shares my philosophy, though.
Some people want to see pictures and extensively pre-qualify candidates, before they will consider meeting.
My question is this:
Are you in favor of meeting lots of people, or do you prefer narrowing the field, and meeting only a few folks, who you think are better prospects? | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:10:56 AM | Are you in favor of meeting lots of people, or do you prefer narrowing the field, and meeting only a few folks, who you think are better prospects?
I'm not interested (at all) in meeting people just for the sake of being out or going on a date. I did meet a quite a few men when I first joined, but I realize now that I had no clue what I was doing (or what to expect) and that I wasn't ready or fit to meet or date anyone.
If I ever feel that I'm ready to start "looking" again, I will definitely narrow the field, and meet only those people I feel that there's a strong possibility of us being a match.
Which, if I'm being realistic, narrows the field down to practically nothing, when I take my age and circumstances in consideration, on top of having very specific preferences/needs/wants to begin with.
But all is not lost since I love cats and I have no problems thinking I'll probably end up just another crazy cat lady ;) 
JMO
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:32:21 AM | | well, my take is that this is a dating site. i narrow the field to those i would be interested in getting to know. if i want to meet people, just to meet - i'd use something like meetup dot com. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:41:17 AM | Right now, I am not looking to date at all. But, when I am looking, I would only consider going out with somebody who I felt I had something in common with and perhaps some attraction to, through conversations on here.
I am not interested in meeting up with a whole bunch of different people who I do not feel interested in. For one, I do not have the time for that. Two, I would never date somebody just for the sake of dating. Some people can do that, I am not one of them.
Some people want to see pictures and extensively pre-qualify candidates, before they will consider meeting.
I would never consider meeting up with somebody who did not have a picture. Besides compatibility and attraction, there are also safety issues. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:47:20 AM | I usually tend to try to meet several women and then narrowing down my choices afterwards. I've heard that women tend to meet one guy at a time and try it with that person only until they know if it'll work or not.
Ed | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:52:50 AM | | I met lots of women AFTER screening out many, many more. The majority simply aren't worth meeting, as there's too little in common to ever result in a relationship. Perhaps if I had the time and nothing better to do, I'd meet someone just to be sure my screening criteria were working correctly. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:04:53 AM | I guess you really need to look at how you fish.
Do you keep all your fish or only the ones that are worth eating (sorry this is a metaphor and not meant to insult anyone).
As a fisherman (and we are talking real fishing here), you go out to target your fish, you use the bait that will attract the fish.
As for this site, if you use the wrong bait, you will either end up catching no fish, or fish that you weren’t targeting.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that we should prey on victims or anything like that.
The point I want to get across is that you need to be absolutely sure that what you have said in your profile is out there to attract the sort of person that you’re after.
If you leave it wide open, then you’re going to get a lot of fish taking the bait and not necessarily the ones you are after, but if you bait your hook right (and we are talking about your profile here), then you will attract the fish that you’re after.
To be honest, it isn’t rocket science!
So be yourself, and you’ll attract someone who likes you for you, I guess that’s the real take home message, be you!
VINZ | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:37:15 AM | | I would say it is a matter of ones own preference. I myself would prefer to date one person at a time ... and if it turns into 2nd ... or 3rd date and we are both still interested then I would be content to focus on just getting to know that person more. One reason for that is I just don't have a lot of spare time to date multiple people ! I beleive it all depends on what it is you are looking for.... just people to have fun with.... or someone you want to build a relationship/ friendship with. | |
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kmb74
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Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:44:47 AM | Some people get lots of messages, therefore, we need to screen some out or we'd have no time to do anything other than do out on first dates.
Personally, I'd normally screen them--which meant going from email to IM to phone. If things were going well, I'd agree to meet. If I saw any flags or he said/did something that bothered/scared me, I would end conversation.
I always wanted to see a picture b/c lets face it, looks are important, attraction has to be there. Pictures may not do a person justice (most people I met looked better in person, but a few didn't), but it helps narrow them down. I am in good shape and I work out, and I want someone who takes care of themselves and eats well. I expect nothing less of a potential mate than I expect of myself. I wanted someone who I would be compatable with. I didn't have time to go out with every guy that messaged me, nor would I want to. My gut was usually right, the few times I didn't think there would be attraction, there wasn't. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:07:22 AM | OP:
I think this one is personal preference. I mean, some people would rather not try the trout and stick with the bass. Others, like me, wouldn't mind trying both, and maybe throwing some samon in there, depending on how they're cooked.
It's all a matter of your tastes.
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 12:12:09 PM | | I'm picky who I spend my time with to begin with so you better believe I'm going to narrow my prospects down to people I truely want to invest my time in. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 1:26:28 PM | I am not interested in meeting a load of guys just for the sake of meetin a load of guys. The ones I put on my fav list are the ones that tick certain boxes for me so I will meet them yeah for sure !
There are one or two guys who I really like that have gone on dates with and they completely tick the required fields of what I am looking for.
I mean the whole purpose of being on a dating sight is to date and likely for most I would think to find that person you want to have a relationship with. I do think that you have to accept the fact that the people you like may like you but like others as well so they are also seeing more then one person intially as well its only natural.
So yeah I narrow my fields down to the guys that I think are worth the time and effort and the ones that are better prospects and then kinda hope they feel the same way lol | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 1:42:48 PM | Narrowing the field, just a few when I was actively dating. Sure I could've gone out every single night, but one too exhausting, two I would like to meet someone with similiar interests. All that were asking me out all of the time, were not all my taste.
I didn't "pre-qualify" candidates, LOL. I did have one many years ago ask to see my resume, he was NUTS LOL. This isn't a job interview. Ah such is life. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 1:45:29 PM | | Of course, narrowing the field. Then go out with a lot of them from that narrow field. Hehehehe. When I was dating I only went out with athletic, very active women. So in the end I found myself in a relationship with a woman that is guess what? Athletic and active. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 1:54:57 PM | I will get abuse for sure here but it also depends on your "meets" and what you do.
I know guys on here that do big dinner dates that run $100 a pop. And they pay.
Sorta gets expensive for meets huh? I do a drink or two at happy hour. I can afford a couple a week and when I am on the road I used to do that. I tend to get WAY pickier when I am home.
On the other hand I have dated a couple very cute gals that were serial daters. I mean they had no qualms doing 10 to 15 a week. Some were lunch, happy hour and dinners all in the same day. I was buddies with both and they were shocked always when a date would say "Oh you mean your seeing someone else too?"
LMAO ! Crap I just told the gals to squeeze me in on a spare week night for some drinks. I knew how busy they were. Guys it'a a clue here. When you gotta book a gal 3 weekends out for a date... She isnt shaving her legs at home those other nights. (wink)
Cheers
Cowboy | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:17:44 PM | well you have to narrow it down till theres some sort of mutual interest after some decent online conversations ( but its hard to tell online what they are really thinking).
I don't date just for the company of a random girl, so if I meet someone I have interest in them and want to get to know them. it might work out or might not, but you can only know these things in person.
but the goal of this place IS to date. I dont get these people talking online for months and months and never getting out there. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:49:01 PM |
When you gotta book a gal 3 weekends out for a date... She isnt shaving her legs at home those other nights.
Them hairy gals anyways..... | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:28:19 PM | | I just want to find one special man that I can have a sexual relationship with. One that is open to the possibility of falling in love! One that is romantic and passionate and knows how to treat a woman and make her feel special. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 12:45:40 PM | A word of advice,, especially for those of you that wear blue. Turn your phone off when you meet someone and never text message or have a phone conversation while sitting at a dinner table. Nothing suks more than two people in the midle of an equally interesting conversation and then one or the other can't get half way through a conversation without answering a text message or a phone call. 6 phone calls and a dozen text messages is a bit much in a 45 minute time frame.
I shut mine off out of respect to who ever I'm meeting. I know someone here will have a come back such as "What if it's an emergency" But all the same. I leave mine in the car or atleast set it to vibrate and never respond to a text or a phone call unless I know ahead of time someone's been sick or something.
Discard pyle is a good way to discribe them cell phone addicts. NEXTTTTTTTTT  | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 2:02:56 PM | I much prefer to narrow the field down to people I think would be somewhat compatible to me.
I don't have tons of free time to begin with, and I still want to spend time with my closest friends, so I don't to be going out on dates with any Tom Dyck or Harry that comes along the way.
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 2:20:57 PM | No, I'm not in favor of meeting "lots" of men and going on date after date after date.
I will narrow the field.........once I run across someone interesting again....like that's happened in a while.  | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 2:38:31 PM | I'm More into quality than quantity. In meeting someone, if it happens, it happens.
I'd rather spend the time getting to know one person at a time than have a couple at once. When it comes time to meet someone, the thought has to be there that I truely want to take the time to meet the person. I know what I like and need, if there's any dought I'll just be honest about not meeting.
Jon | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 5:43:58 PM | LOL... some of these responses are classic. Such awesome people on here I swear.
I tend to message alot of people, but usually the ones I message I weed out. Then the ones that message me I end up talking to alot longer... Ironic I guess.
Meeting though, well I'm really really picky. I'm looking for a wife, so this are serious business! =P I will meet only after there's been enough communication to definitely establish common interest. The way I look at it is looks will fade, and then we will have to rely on what's left. So if we can START on the rest and the only thing remaining is physical attraction, it's alot more likely to work out.
I probably miss some great matches doing this, but for me it's one at a time. I will setup one date, and if it works, I only date her. If it doesn't, I move on to others. But I will message many and talk to many, I don't think that's a big deal.
-Rory | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/27/2008 7:08:38 PM | I meet whosoever I get the feeling that I would like to meet....I don't have any formula.
I however have had bad experiences and due to that I like to make sure that I don't get the feeling that the person is crazy.
I also don't feel like wasting time....so I like to talk to someone and see if I really want to meet them versus meeting up with anyone I exchange a few pleasant words with. It is tiring to meet 10 ppl whom you don't click with. I would rather meet 2 or 3 ppl that may hold my attention than going through the motions of meeting many people. | |
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| Meeting Other Fish
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:05:28 AM | Man, what do you expect a person to put up with though? Even if I had all the time in the world to meet people (which I don't), and was bored out of my skull (which I never am) I
still wouldn't meet everyone who wants to meet me.
Strangely enough, the main reason is because I get more entertainment out of life with myself, and my chosen company now, than I would meeting probably most people. I'm a little left of center and pretty quirky in general. I despise small talk and don't run in the normal circles, doing normal things. I'm also and most importantly, not the kind of girl that waits for a man to breathe life into her weekend. I always have plans unless you convince me somehow to change them. Count on it.
As harsh as it may sound, honestly, I'm usually having a really great time until someone comes along with their boring small talk and restrained nervous ways of trying to get my attention, and asking for a predictable coffee meet or dinner date. You know, for fear of freaking me out with an original idea, me being so mousy and easily frightened and all...
It really sucks the wind out of my sails because I think I've made a very good effort to explain the kind of person I am, and who I find interesting, and so if you're not within a world of it, I don't see why I should entertain you and you not entertain me. Seems kinda greedy. Seems like maybe you're asking me to do what I'd rather not prefer for your comfort level, instead of meeting me at mine, as it's me you're asking. Do you know what I mean?
That being said though, I definitely go with my instinct. If you can find a way to get me interested in spending time with you, and I don't even mean this in the dating sense, in any sense, if you tickle my curiosity, I'll come out, no problem.
I'm only looking for friends right now and am moving to a new city too, so really now is a time I'm more interested in taking up a few offers to meet new people where I'm going, because why wouldn't I? I'm new, there's lots I haven't seen, it's a great opportunity to share a new experience, even if the person turned out to be not all that interesting to me specifically.
I have to point out though, speaking of a profile. I think it's rather odd and backwards that people don't explain themselves as they are, but rather more as they'd rather be, and then are surprised they can't find people who accept them as they are? I'm not blowing smoke up anyone's a$$, and therefore assume I'm being taken at face value. Ideally, you should get what you put out on this site.
That being said, if you have no picture on your profile, and no text in your box, you shouldn't be surprised if people who have a picture, and text in their box find you boring, one dimensional, and/or not worth the effort of meeting.
If that seems unfair, perhaps it's because you feel misunderstood and should make more of an effort to convey the kind of person you are, OR, you're just not willing to put forth the effort, but want the effort put forth towards you. If you "hate talking about yourself" in your profile, if you have one friend, get them to do it for you. How hard is this??
People don't get up in the morning thinking "gee who can I meet up with today so they can have fun even if what they consider fun isn't fun for me?" It's like, if I had a nice chat with a man at a bus stop, doesn't mean I see need to continue a conversation over coffee, just because he asked nicely. There's a big difference between manners, and obligation. Many people say yes to be polite, where they'd rather say no and not be at the whim of someone else's agenda.
When meeting new people, it would seem ultimately polite to consider their comfort first, and yours second, as it is YOU who's doing the asking. If I approached someone I found interesting, and they wanted to do that stupid coffee meet, I'd humor them, as it was ME who did the asking. | |
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