| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:42:39 AM | I got home yesterday to find a message from a female online chat buddy saying she needed to talk to me about about something that happened to her earlier that day. Just as I was reading that, she popped on and began telling me what had happened.
She had given her BF of over a year, a key to her place. I'm guessing as a step to eventually moving in together or something like that. Well she said that he was happy to get a key to her place and that their relationship was moving into something deeper. She said other things, but I don't remember it all.
Anyways, fastforward a week after giving him the key. She said to me that she was talking to him about what she had done that day and he blurted out how was the meeting with one of her friends went. She was curious as to who he knew that when she didn't tell him about her friend being over. He made up some excuse and she said she bought it.
Well the next day she wasn't feeling good so she decided to leave from work early. She said she pulls up and goes inside. She said she say a light on in her bedroom that she thought she turned off. So as she was going into the room, she say her BF in the act installing something near her dresser. She asked him what he was doing and he dropped it to the ground. She said that it looked like a small camera.
She asked him what it was and he told her was concerned about her safety and was only looking out for her. She said he tried to hug her and she pushed him away and told him to get out. She said he was sorry and that he hopes she can forgive him for wanting to make sure she was safe.
She said she is really unsure of what to do next. I told her to call the police and cut off all contact with the guy. She said that they have too much history together and she just can't do that to the guy. I told her what about her privacy and the violation that she had suffered. She said she know that what he did was wrong, but she still loves him and want tom make it work. But she just don't know if she can get back the trust that she lost. I told her that only she can decide what she does from this point on, but I said if I was her, I would've call the cops and went from there.
So should leave the guy, or give him another chance. I think she she sould leave him. What do everyone else think she should do. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:48:10 AM | | Oh yah, boot that guy to the curb. He is lying, and, he does not trust her, and he wants to spy on her. But...sounds like she is not terribly concerned about all that. She loves him, oh how nice. She needs to have more respect for herself, and this is the perfect opportunity to start doing that. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:52:39 AM | You gotta be kidding me? Trying to say he was looking out for her? Whatever! The guy's a perv, and probably just wanted to score "hidden cam" footage of them f*cking to show all his other juvenile buddies.
I'd call the cops on his ass. Then I'd get my buddies to slap him around like the **** he is...  | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:54:55 AM | She should dump his creepy, perverted rear end. He was doing it either, as Joe mentioned, to spy and control her.....or, to get little mini-movies of her parading around scantily clad or nekkid. Who knows what his intentions were to do with them, i.e. sell them?
I don't think the police would or could do much at this point. She willingly gave him the key.
If he was doing it to 'protect her' or 'keep her safe', he would have informed her ahead of time that he planned on installing them.....not during the middle of the day while she's at work. Nope, he's twisted.
~ds~ | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:55:24 AM | | wow, first i know a women that had a spy camara in her house and one day She decided to show me a video of her stripping for me . I watched the video and didnt stop the tape after she was done. I left it on and cooked some food , the there was talking and soon the second video started it was her with a ex she had secretly video taped . It took me ten seconds to get my jaw off the floor and then the relationship took a huge turn for the worse because I was allways wondering if i was being video taped. The point to thye story is whats going to stop him from doing it again and no matter what he already has issues. I know a girl that has to text all the time to tell her man where sher is. This never leads down a good path. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:40:15 AM | Sounds like he may already have tapes or footage of your friend in retrospect.
No kidding she shouldn't have any further contact with this guy. It would be prudent for your girlfriend to fill out a police report. Make sure she has someone that she can call that is close by in case of an emergency. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:43:47 AM | Wow. Creepy and Crazy. I wouldn't care if I've been with the guy for a long time. Something is wrong with him. He just don't trust her or probably psycho perverted guy .
I would definitely leave him, delete any phone number or e-mail or any sort of communication. Call my home phone service provide, if I have a home phone, and have them block his phone number, or at least get a caller id and have that feature that no one can call me at home with a block number. Never answer my house and cell phone if I don't know the phone number. Change my lock and add more locks haha. Whatever I can think of, there's no other chance... | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:56:49 AM | | The guy is a sick freak . Why this woman would want to stay with a peeping tom is beyond me. Who knows how far such a sick freak would go. He could care less about her safety he just wanted to get his j0llies by watching her without her knowing it. That or he was worried about her cheating and was hoping to catch her in the act. Either way she is a fool for remaining with such a person. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:59:55 AM | | I wonder if there is a law against videotaping someone without consent. If so, I would have the police thoroughly check his place to see if he's gotten footage of her surreptitiously. Aside from that, it's creepy and there is no way I'd let him come near me ever again. Huge violation. | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:06:27 PM | Let the police know (nothing they can do though. She did give him a key)
There is plenty they can do. Giving someone a key doesn't create consent to having secreted video cameras installed in your house/apartment. People can be (and have been!) prosecuted for it. 34 states have enacted "video vouyerism" laws specifically to deal with things like this.
For the OP - if this guy is at a stage where he's installing cameras then this isn't something that's just going to go away or stop on it's own. He has some serious issues. You are in FL but you didn't mention where your friend is. FL DOES have a law to deal with this:
11.13 VOYEURISM
§ 810.14, Fla. Stat.
To prove the crime of Voyeurism, the State must prove the following three elements beyond a reasonable doubt:
1. (Defendant) secretly [observed] (victim).
2. The (act alleged) was done with a [lewd] [lascivious] [indecent] intent.
3. When (victim) was observed [he] [she] was in a [dwelling] [structure] [conveyance] in which [he] [she] had a reasonable expectation of privacy.
The words lewd, lascivious, and indecent mean the same thing, a wicked, lustful, unchaste, licentious, or sensual intent on the part of the person doing the act.
Definitions.
“Dwelling” means a building [or conveyance] of any kind, including any attached porch, whether such building [or conveyance] is temporary or permanent, mobile or immobile, which has a roof over it and is designed to be occupied by people lodging therein at night, together with the enclosed space of ground and outbuildings immediately surrounding it.
“Structure” means any kind of building, either temporary or permanent, that has a roof over it, together with the enclosed space of ground and outbuildings immediately surrounding it.
“Conveyance” means any motor vehicle, ship, vessel, railroad car, trailer, aircraft or sleeping car.
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:09:12 PM | I'm sorry, but this is a no-brainer. No way, no how, would I ever see the man again. There is no reason good enough for her to stay with this man. A call to the police is definitely in order; it's hard to say if a law has been broken (state law varies) but I'd bet they'd send someone out to help her check out the rest of her place, and to at least take a statement and then talk to the guy.
Please do urge her to change the locks immediately. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:34:11 PM | Woe....dump his ass ASAP. Report him to the police, what he did is illegal.
He is a stalker and they must be dealt with in a certain way. They do not respond to kindness or civility, because they do not respect your boundaries. However, they can't stand to have their boundaries crossed. Stalkers have been known to kill their prey.
Read everything you can on the subject and ask the police if they have any classes on it you can attend. You would be surprised to learn how they are best handled.
A stalker has a very twisted sense of right and wrong. Never ever under estimate them. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:52:24 PM | Your correct in your advice OP he seems a paranoid loonbag (no voyeuristic permission either) Seems to be on the sleekit scumbag side of the ooze pond and no shy about it either (this is the worrying bit - as he deflects his piggery actions onto a nice person).
She wants bit of distance between her and him
perhaps a few million miles
(cut of all contact) as scum like this weasel there way bk in when they sense weakness or given a half chance by the foolish/vulnerable
just be there to support her.
Interestingly most people who act like this are indeed guilty of doing the dirty with others ( i reckon he is)-lose him quickly | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 2:03:22 PM |
There is plenty they can do. Giving someone a key doesn't create consent to having secreted video cameras installed in your house/apartment. People can be (and have been!) prosecuted for it. 34 states have enacted "video vouyerism" laws specifically to deal with things like this.
True. But from what I can tell from the OP no recording had yet taken place. He was caught setting it up. At that point no crime had taken place. We cannot arrest people for thought crimes. At least not yet. Hence there is no law to charge him with.
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 2:09:56 PM | | What we think she should do is of no consequence. She will do what she wants to do, and obviously, that means staying with a man who has no qualms about violating her privacy, because she 'loves him'. Any sane person would immediately break up with someone who did such a thing. It's a no-brainer. She, for some reason, doesn't realize this and you aren't going to change her mind. Perhaps, when he continues to violate her in other ways, she MAY come to her senses. Or she may end up on the evening news as the lastest victim of a crazed lover. | |
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| What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 2:22:55 PM | Hello!!! Invasion of Privacy - at the Least!!! She may have given him the key, but jayzuz!! Giving someone a key does NOT give them permission to install hidden cameras in YOUR apartment/home!!! omfg - Total violation, totally wrong!
She should take this Very seriously! Go to the police immediately. Change the locks, do Not answer his calls. Act, act Now. If this creepo thinks he has the upper hand at all or 'might' even get away with it - his behaviour 'could' escalate! Sure there's a chance he'll just go away, however; by the sounds of the trouble he's already gone to, I doubt he'll just leave .. I would also want the police to find out if he has any tapes.
Nasty nasty ... | |
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