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Posted: 11/25/2008 8:08:10 AM | I know that when I meet someone new and we are discussing our pasts, it almost is inevitable that we will discuss what we would do differently if we were able to go back and change things. I am sure more than many will say "nothing" as that is how they learned and have moved forward but I for one can assure you I would do things differently given the chance.
I think the biggest thing I would have done differently would have been to spend more time trying to work through my differences with my ex, for the most part because of the children. I think it was too easy to call it quits and I wish I had made more efforts to come together as apposed to letting go.
I also would have invested more in my education and pursued a career in what is my passion as apposed to what paid the bills.
I DO have regrets and I live with them and I am sure I am wiser and richer for them, but I wanted to start a thread that was more "personal" than what I read of late.
Hope you are all willing to share. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 8:32:47 AM | | Here is an interesting tip about life... as long as your breathing, it's never to late! Looking back on my life I know I made a lot of mistakes, but it's those mistakes that define who we are today... love the mistakes you made, embrace them for they tell a story... A story that can fiz out into a pool of water, or one that can be the ignition of a wild fire, you choose. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 8:38:18 AM | Good morning Piggy!
I have no regrets and always done everything to the best of my ability with the knowledge I had at the time....and let me tell you, sometimes I had none.
Lots of ups and downs in my life, and some things I am not real proud of....but the only thing I don't want to repeat is being hasty when it comes to retationships any more. I will take my time and get to know "him" really well.
The other things such as career or studies, etc. the good news is that life gives us a new opportunity every day. I get exited about that, 'cause it's never too late!!
Hope I answered your question.
Have a great day!!! | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 8:53:14 AM | I agree with the pig-man.
There are some things that I have done/not done in the past that regretfully cannot be fixed or changed.
However..the old adage "it's never too late" is one I try to live to the fullest each day.
Starting over each morning, trying my very best to correct past behaviour and be a little more patient, accepting and tolerant towards others is my way of making sure my life and the lives of those around me is richer and more rewarding.
It's not always that sunshiny and upbeat believe me.
But at any point in my day, I have the ability to change my perspective and look at that glass as being half full dammit.
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Posted: 11/25/2008 9:00:11 AM | I did not intend to throw this out to be reminded of the glass half full theory. I sent it out to be specific to things that may be tinged with regret and reflection.
We are adults and should have learned from our mistakes, but like the title says... Hit the rewind button.
I would have gone to Emily Carr. Yes I could still go (if I found that sugar-pig) but not currently due to raising piglets. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 9:16:42 AM | looking back my children would of had to get and keep a job.. at a very early age..
i grew up dirt poor..so i had no way of knowing that to much.. is just bad as not enough..
i didn't discover this until it was a way to late...
what do you get when you spoil your kids rotten?.............. rotten kids..
looking back i would have saved every penny i ever spent needlessly...for this a rainy day..
i would have saved every penny i spent needlessly.... thinking i was investing in my future...what a joke..
and the jokes on me.... it's true what they say though..a Fool & his money soon go separate ways... | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 9:23:37 AM | The only real thing I wish I could change is how I looked at school, and passed up the opportunity to "do more".
I am confident I would be in a much different career than the one I am now, and very confident that I would be enjoying it far more.
At the moment it pays the bills, and will eventually allow me to go back to school to do what I am passionate about.
I also wish I bought a house when they were cheap in the valley. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 9:34:17 AM | Good topic.
I'd have not considered pot a "harmless" drug, and would have chosen to avoid those who used it.
I'd have paid more attention to what my kids told me about their stepmom, and not allowed my daughter to go live with them. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 10:14:34 AM | I would never change any Major decision I made in life. Once I make a decision, good or bad I tend to live with the out come without regrets. If we start second guessing ourselves, then we will lost the courage to make sound and rational, life changing decisions.
We all tend to look back and say "If I knew then, what I know now, I may have done, this or that differently" but life is not life that, you don't usually get a "do over " so I tend to live in the present. Make the best decision I can for today, I honestly don't have the time to be looking in the rear view mirror. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 10:38:20 AM | I had a very interesting conversation with my 4th husband about this, when Enterprise first started on the air. This was mainly because of the
actor Scott Bakula, who played the Captain, was in a series called "Quantum Leap", which is about time travel.
While I mostly agree with those posters who wouldn't change anything (as it's all part of who we are now), there are 3 exceptions for me. 2 of
them, would save the lives of people I loved, & the other would result in my health & appearance being better. But overall, yes we have to live
& learn.
Once I make a decision, good or bad I tend to live with the out come without regrets. If we start second guessing ourselves, then we will lost the courage to make sound and rational, life changing decisions. - Wildman46
In one way that is true, but if we don't look back & understand how & why we made bad decisions, we will never learn to make better ones. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 11:44:41 AM | Wildman (and others) Why post if it's not on topic? The idea was to share regrets and possible changes if you could go back. It's nice that you have no regrets and wouldn't change anything... about as nice as finding $15000K in a bag, and about as realistic
VVV
Nothing personal in my statement, just looking for some feedback that is on topic, if you read the origonal post you will see that mentioned it wasn't a forum for all the people that would say they have no regrets. I love to have my opinion challenged, but that isn't why I started this thread. It was to share in other peoples thoughts about what they would do differently if they could.
| Someone stating he does or doesn't have any Regrets still addresses the Topic |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 11:54:53 AM |
I'm sure many will say "nothing" as that is how they learned and have moved forward but I for one can assure you I would do things differently if given the chance.
Look you posted a thread asking for Opinions, You can't make others see things the same way you do. Can you explain to me how my answer was in anyway "off topic"?. If you feel my asnwer was "off topic" then by all means report it to the mods and have it removed.
Next time you start a thread, tell me in advance that you wanted everyone to agree with you, thus I will stay away if I happen to see things differently. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:09:33 PM | Wildman:
Piggy is not asking IF you'd change anything...he's asking WHAT would you change.
If you feel, as some of us do, that you would not change anything then you need post nothing on this thread.
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:18:37 PM |
Wildman
Piggy is not asking IF you'd change anything.. he's asking WHAT would you change.
if you feel, as some of us do, that you would not change anything then you need post nothing on this thread.
With all due respect B2 I fail to see any SPECIFIC question posted in the opening post. All I see is the Op making an observation about himself and his past and asking for opinions. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:30:07 PM | -
Okay, I'm hitting the Rewind button but I'm still stuck on this statement in the OP.
I know that when I meet someone new and we are discussing our pasts, it almost is inevitable that we will discuss what we would do differently if we were able to go back and change things.
I don't have a long list of relationships to reflect on, but don't think this topic has ever come up in any of them. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:32:56 PM | Nice box around my quote Wildman! 
I believe I read the word "what" right on the first paragraph of the OT.
At least that is how I understood it.
Respectfully yours,
Y. lol
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:38:29 PM | hang on I need to find my Simon and Garfunkle CD..." if I only could, I surely would"... 
There are so many things from applying myself from the start of high school to furthering my education as a teen instead of now at 41.
yes, looking back lots of times I probably took the "wrong" fork in the road of life but, changing anything would have sent me in a different direction and I may not have the kids I love dearly today.
There is no way to tell for sure if my life would actually be any better or worse had I done things differently. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:50:24 PM | The one thing I would do differently above all else is to tell the people I loved a LOT more often about my love for them--and try to show it as well as say it. I'm pretty sure the ones who are gone now knew very well they were loved, but they still deserved to have it said and shown repeatedly.
--Ms. Flis | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 12:56:50 PM | ^^ That's a nice one! ^^
I think I would have bogarted that joint more when smoking with IRONLUNGS RONNIE.... | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 1:19:44 PM | When I was in therapy, (yes, it was very theraputic), I was told to not 'regret' anything.
Regretting is a very negative way of looking at life.
I was taught to be remorseful, which has a definition of, 'Feeling or expressing pain or sorrow for sins or offences. It also has a definition of deep regret, however, that does not lead to a place where you can 'improve' & 'learn', like remorse does.
I, at times, feel that I would give my right arm to 're-do' parts that still bother me.
I am not to 'beat myself up over them', however............I still am known to be my own worst enemy if I do not pay attention.
I feel remorse that my 2nd marriage went up in smoke, and mainly due to ME.
That hurts to know that, so I learn to not be like I was. Learn, learn, learn.
Also, my kids got the wrong side of DaD at times when I 'lost it' in dealing with them.
Those are memories they will most likely not forget and that bothers me.
To have your 'Mate', & your Kids to be around someone that can stay in control is asking a lot, but that would be my ideal situation. Everyone must be exposed to 'negative life' at times to enable mental growth while seeing the big picture is a good thing, although it can hurt. I just wish I wasn't the one that caused it. That is a bummer to my heart & mind. | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 3:37:15 PM | i would like to rewind a few things in my life
i would like a second chance to handel a few situations a little better then i did...
take back a few horrible things ive said...or done
id like a second go at my education....maybe then instead of mills,factories and wharehouses it might be schools offices and computers lol...maybe suits? lol
a second chance to say no...lol!
a new start with the one that got away...damn me and my big mouth! lol
a chance to say goodbye
mend a friendship or 2 b4 they fizzled
but i cant...i live with that everyday for better or worse cause as painfull as it is....thats how we grow :P | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 4:19:40 PM |
Here is an interesting tip about life... as long as your breathing, it's never to late!
Beg to differ - sometimes it is too late. People die.
I've seen a Lot of life, done a lot, been lots of places .. Many things I wouldn't repeat .. very very few real regrets .. but .. If I could I would go back and get my sorry as$ off the booze 15 years sooner, move in with my very loving .. Angel .. my Grandma. She spent her last couple years in a horrid, impersonal, sterile, (so called) "Special" care facility. She Hated it... just hated it .. and I never blamed her for hating it .. I did 'think' .. and yeah ..I judged .. Figured my aunts and/or uncles 'should' be taking care of her. Deep down I know I felt "I" should have taken care of her.
So, sometimes it is too late. :( ..
R.I.P. Gramma
I gotta go see if St.eve got his cat yet .. cheer me back up.
Oh - and I did learn from my regret. I learned to Live without regret, ie: Do those things today that I know I'll regret not doing tomorrow .. Live in colour. Live.
Good thread Mr. Pig | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 4:47:37 PM | NOPE, cant say id change a thing .....cuz i wouldnt be where i am today ...... and im very happy where i am  | |
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Posted: 11/25/2008 5:10:29 PM | would possibly do a lot of things different
resulting in different mistakes and making me a bit different than I am now
really no change, just different...lol
to have regrets my forum friend about not having tried hard enough I doubt would have had better consequences
there are many different scenarios that could effect the children, mostly either one of you would be unhappy or both...
Thought at the time I may have screwed up cuz I didn't know how to handle a breakup when presented with it, but I did extend the most generous offer I knew and friends and family thought I was a fool (they may have been right). Still there were no considerations given to my offer.
In hindsight perhaps that was the reasons which caused even more and greater demands and a bigger mess...lol but I'll never know...
regrets change nothing, they may only stand in your way to do what is right for your children now or in the future...One more thought you probably know already, never put the x down towards your children, he or she is the only mom/dad they ever have and once adult they will have to determine the extend of love or respect they grant to either.
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Posted: 11/25/2008 5:40:19 PM | Great topic piggly wiggly:
If I could hit the rewind button.. as you know I am not all that savy with the tech world.. I would have spent more time with my dad.. I think about him everyday.. and miss him.. I would have loved to have been closer to him .. wow this is a lot tougher than I thought it would be..yah I love him ... just wish I could have told him more..
and turn the ol'e educational time clock back.and I would have been in a lot different line of work as well... no regrets there and as has been said before on this thread.. its never to late....
my 2cents | |
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