| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 3:02:50 PM | Hi
I am wondering if any body came through depression . The real thing I am talking about . Not just a depressive epsiode . I am wondering what signs in your self you saw ect . Was there lack of appetite , sleepklessness, rage, crying jags ect .
I am curiouse what brought you through it . Did medication help . Did you stop it Are you still on it.
Blair | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 3:51:52 PM | | Hey Blair...I've been fighting "the darkness" ever since I was a kid. I tend not to tell the world but if it helps I'll take the chance of judgement. I have been on many medications and none of them helped and some of them made me much worse. I have found some comfort in smoking pot. It seems to level out my moods which used to swing quite wide during times of stress. Actually they still do but I control them now rather than them controlling me. I guess what I want to say is Blair don't do anything dumb. There is a light somewhere you just have to figure out what it is that gives you purpose. My depression has made me who I am today and I think that is a gift if not a miracle considering the anger I used to carry. If you have a chance search the term "tragic optimism" and read. Then go to the library and get a book called "the power of now" by Eckhart Toole(sp?). Depression can be a tool, don't let it be a heavy cross on your back. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:21:16 PM | most people struggle with it from time to time. meds help ,some need to stay on them. others a change in life style and even eating. there are so many things that can cause it. my buddy told me to day that having to many choises can cause it. i think there is some truth to that.
best thing is don't isolate yourself. if it is that bad get help. don't let it eat at ya and waste your life. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:26:00 PM | I am not whining but I think this job I am in is really starting to take effect . Its been 4 years . Putting up with alot of sh*t and the funny thing is the customers arent really to blame its the people I work for . they dont appreciate loyalty , they put high unreasonable expecations on us . they use guilt to manipulate us (seeing we are dealing with people ), they have standards they dont live up to themseves(which really angers me ) . For example last month they fired a ladie recently becoming pregnant because she vented outside to some co workers that a boss said she faked her pregnancy(thats in a nustshell I cant go in to all the details . Its to long) . and the boss got no repercussions . all she did was vent but to them she was poisoning the work enviroment.
I have seen quite a few of my co workers leave on stress leave and come back on meds (the ones that dont smoke alot of pot and drink). I have always thought nahhhhhhhh I can hack it . I am tough . But a few events happned recently where I had a knife burried in my back by a boss that I trusted (out and out lied about me in front of senior managment when it was her screw up. another long storey). has me looking at some real ugliness that is beneath the surface . I was up last teusday at 3:45 throwing my guts up, my appetite is half of what it used to be . I find I am having to deal with feelings of rage because of the guilt trips and head games . I have had days where I felt like sh*t about myself and that in itself causes rage because I know its all bullsh*t . Its all from the cowardly superiors I am under who cant keep their word , who cant stand up for whats right and will offer you up and sell you out to clients if they knew it would benifit them and they could get away with it (and they have every time) .
So quit right !!!! Dont worry I am . But since I have decided that I have seen things from a different light . and I am wondering if I am in the early stages of depression to be honest . perhaps I should see a doctor . I have been thinking about that . Its a sh*tty enviroment . perhaps I should stop denying it and say that I need a little help . | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:26:40 PM | | Ohh I work in a call center doing tech support | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:28:56 PM | had it for years, wanted to sleep all the time, isolate myself, feel numb, useless, hopeless.
tried many meds, some worked for a while, then fade. I am now taking 5htp, natural stuff, works directly on the seritonin, i hate the side effects of prescriptions.
I feel like I was meant to have depression, as my life's purpose. I have helped many people cope with theirs, even ones that slept with guns in their mouth, because they hated living in numbness.
I still continue to help, I love to do it. There is NOTHING better than talking to someone that has been there. I found that out a couple of years ago when I found my friend who really understood. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:32:32 PM | | well yours is circumstantial. I have a friend who was like that, very stressed, they put her on paxil, helped somewhat. She had no sex drive which she hated. She took herself off of it. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:44:43 PM | Funny-One of the warnings on a paxil sheet says "may cause death" or the one "may cause heart palpitations" Or the best is "may make symtoms worse" Its not like its not hard enough having depression but to be given drugs that may possibly make me worse sounds dumb to me now, but then it just made me worse. I don't think the medical industry has much of a grasp on the workings of this disease. I'm totally not saying pot is for everyone but for some it works check this link-http://webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com/content/article/94/102660.htm?DEST=WebMD_contentSRC_nsmain
its kind of interesting | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 4:45:22 PM | | eh I never took the meds, is all placebo to the real problem | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 6:48:04 PM | i have depression and ADD...two of which can cause you to lose concentration...im now on meds for both and am doing great...i just wasnt myself before i was diagnosed...i was very touchy and sensitive about everything...crying episodes...took pain out on those i cared about...was just in all around bad shape...and yea loss of appetite was one...i actually went thru the loss of appetite and lost too much weight...then i got on Celexa which made me gain weight...but now im on Lexapro which works great and no negative side effects...
depression is a tough road to have to travel...but with support from your friends and family and the aid of a good therapist and/or medz a lot of ppl are helped greatly | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 11:00:48 PM | | i was diagnosed with it at afe 6..ive pretty much had it my entire life (well 6-21) they stuck me on Zoloft for the depression..and Buspar for my socialphobia..and ritalin for being ADD..all through out my teens i was loaded up on medication..none of these thing cure depression, they just do the same thing alcohol does..makes you not think about it..i also was the kinda person that bottled in emotions..i learned a trick of swallowing all my emotions..well i was happy when i first met my ex..but after she left 15 years of bottled up emotions opened up..ever since then i learned to control it a little more..i still bottle the emotions..but i let some out on occasion.. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 11:02:21 PM | | Cures the financial depression of the Pharmaceutical Companies. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 11:09:38 PM | | well i took myself off my meds a couple years ago..i got sick of having to depend on meds.. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/4/2004 11:13:42 PM | I have yet to hear anyone say that years of Meds cured or bettered anything.
After about 1-2 years of use, they usually get turfed away by the user.
Well, all one needs to do is research some of the lawsuits going on about the damage these drugs have caused, to realize that they are dangerous. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 2:12:27 AM | | yah..after a while of taking the ritalin, my heart started to feel racy and i got really shakey..the doctors said..oh this is normal..but it didnt feel normal to me..so i quit them on my own.. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 2:49:11 AM | Good choice! A lot of kids have been known to go bonkers on these kind of meds. Not even scientific anyways - too many Gov't pockets greased by lobby Pharmaceuticals. Most of the popular street drugs today were developed by these shysters too, and after wide-spread addiction, they turned around with the newest addictive drugs to cure the addiction of the previous drugs they sold.
They don't give a flying **** about anyone - its all about money. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 2:51:24 AM | I was depressed for about 3 years, I seperated my self, played computer day and night, hated everything and did nothing but eat eat eat. I got to about 300lbs at age 16/17 . I even tried to take my life 2 times. I placed a "need help" on a privite forum, and there I found out and a doctor told me I had supressed memories from my child hood. I forgot what it was called, something wierd. Anyways, over time and knowing what was the cause of it realy helped. Then I just started to slowly pull my self out of my shell, got a couple friends, hit the jim, and shortly after all that I started dateing.
I would saying, knowing what was my problem and resolving it, forceing the memories to the light. Was the cure for me. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 7:25:31 AM | whose "jim" and why are you going to hit him?
i know the source of my depression..and that doesnt help me any either...when im last time i was really depressed though..i litterally didnt eat a single thing for 2 weeks.. it got so bad that i couldnt hold myself up when i went to the bathroom..i lost about 20 pounds, and i started taking muscle relaxers and drinking heavily.. my source of that was, i lost my grandfather, great grandmother, and my ex girlfriend left me..all this happened withing a 3 week period.. "the sh*t hit the fan" i was ready to end it all at that moment.. but my love for my ex kept me hangin on..even though she didnt love me.. ive been slowly getting less and less depress..but it still hangs around me..this all happened 14 months ago.. | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 19 | |
| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 9:14:49 AM | Went through a ccouple years of depression after the death of my mom, and two kids. It wasn't easy on me. Not easy on my family either. The usual...increased drinking, withdrawing into my own "shell", not working at all, sleeping a lot, or feeling too tired to do anything, eating less, then bingeing, losing contact with friends and family. Yep. Ex booted me out, and it was sink or swim....I'm at the point where I'm still swimming...2 years later! No drugs to help out....(doc refused to allow it). Just started working, realized there was MORE to life than my petty little problems....got started working, looking after things, and started "living" again. It all went and helped.
As far as the job is concerned...start looking for another....OR....have the attitude that "Hey....they rent my time for 8 hours a day, the rest is mine!" Just follow company policies (so that even IF they do fire you, you can go back on them!) NEVER "vent" about the job around co-workers, and as soon as quitting time comes, it is the "I don't care" attitude....you're on YOUR time now. It helps a LOT! | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 20 | |
| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 9:18:54 AM | Been over 3 years now, still fighting it, but the trip is getting better  | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 21 | |
| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 12:14:12 PM | oh yes...after my ex walked out...
i cried al the time..got tummy ahes..had shakes..my hair fell out.I had no need to live anymore. I will never forget driving..and speeding through a red light..hoping to get hit.I made it..but the shock of it still makes me cry. Also the day i found out my ex hubby had a new gf..that night i had a bottel of t3"s..i put them i n my hand and was ready to take them all. My baby boy started crying for me..at 3 am. I went in held him...and started bawling. my 3 yr old daughter wakes up and we all lay i n my bed..i held them all night.
It was then i realized how much i had to live for.My kids needed me..not thier stupid daddy.I went ot the doctor..and got on ritalin.It made me sick but i was o nit for 6 months.It helped. my parents..and friends were such a big help.I taught a chioces course wich was aweseome.I got o n my feet got strong and never looked back.
You either bite the depression or it will bite you.I fought it and won.
I counted my blesings every day..and realized it had so much to live for.. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/5/2004 6:04:02 PM | | But Alura you found something to live for......your kids. For some (me included) have a hard time looking for an excuse to stick around. I see the world as quite black. Don't get me wrong I can see the beauty in everything as well, but when I am not in a good frame of mind I honestly don't give a crap about myself or anything around me. I know "us humans" can make the world better but sometimes life just seems to hard to put in the effort when you know very few other people give a sh*t about anything other than themselves, their image, and their money. I think some are meant to be depressed because without these people the world would not be the same.ie Michaelangelo, Van Gogh, Einstein(I think) Depression can be an unstopable force if used wisely-just like the force.... So ask yourself ...What brings me joy? Then do it. | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 23 | |
| Depression
Posted: 10/6/2004 12:16:44 AM | Guess some folks "get lucky" and have their loved ones right there for them to ponder over...the rest of us have a few photographs and some memories....
Had my "tree" picked out for me to hit some night with the car...then some dang fool chopped it down for firewood....some people huh? | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/6/2004 3:58:38 AM |
Guess some folks "get lucky" and have their loved ones right there for them to ponder over...the rest of us have a few photographs and some memories....
Had my "tree" picked out for me to hit some night with the car...then some dang fool chopped it down for firewood....some people huh?
that's why i was surprised that people mentioned going for a drive when they felt blah, sometimes ya just feel like driving off the road.
and i would not be here today if it werent for my kids, their dad died when they were young and i thought it was selffish to leave them orphaned. | |
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| Depression
Posted: 10/6/2004 9:21:33 AM | Maybe I am just stressed out a bit . By the sounds of things I am not in the early stages of depression . I am still gonna go see a doctor . I just realized I lack patience more than usuall and I find myself fighting rage some times along with the appettite loss and ect ect . Some times my stomach hurts . maybe its just life . We have this bullsh*t slapp happy Ewwie gooey pie in the sky idea that we are suppoed to luv our jobs and there is no stress and if we dont then there is some thing wrong with our world . that bosses are supposed to be people we can depend on . MAYBE I JUST NEED TO GROW UP SOME
Quite my job . You bet ya . done in march of next year (6 monthes away) | |
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