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| The Dreaded Question
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:02:51 PM | Well if I ask, it's usually because I want to know.
I just expect an honest answer.. It gives me an insight into how the person thinks and feels. Like if they come back with, "It's fun and I've had alot of crazy things happen and met some cool people" then I come away thinking they are a positive person.
If they ignore the question then I figure they took it as small talk and aren't one to do so and ignored it. That tells me they like to get to the point.
If they answer with "This place is a madhouse full of psychos, ugly people and perverts." then I know they have had some bad experiences and might be carrying more baggage than I want to deal with, and are at least a little pessmistic to boot.
So I can't speak for others obviously, but for me it's a pretty interesting question by what it tells me. ;)
SO...
How's POF going for you?
*Ducks and runs for cover* | |
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| The Dreaded Question
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:05:36 PM | How about simply answering the question to them.......
Like....
Its been ok or not so ok.
I met some nice people and I have met some flakes.
I get a lot of e mails but not too many that I seem to click with
I met one nice person but he/she did not seem interested in me or vica versa
I got totally jacked around by the last guy
etc. etc. etc.
Did you get bit by the grouchy bug this morning ??? lol | |
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| The Dreaded Question
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:12:11 PM | | I tend to ask that question a lot...it's common ground, since we're both on the site, and I don't have a specific answer in mind or any test to give, I simply ask because it's the obvious thing to ask. No harm in it....if someone asks me, I tell them - same thing. | |
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| The Dreaded Question
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:14:22 PM | When I've asked people (men and women) it's mainly because I want to know if they have any funny/horror stories, because those are funny.  | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:58:42 PM | Because it's instant common ground that we both share! What is wrong with that?
It's also a good weeding tool. If they have dated 37 people and they were all real jerks, I'll get a red flag thrown real fast. If their honest and talk about what they learned, the good, the bad and the ugly, we can at least start with a few laughs and move on from there. | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 1:06:29 PM | OP: I know that you're thinking, "This should be blatantly obvious, I mean, I'm still here, right?"
The other posters are correct with their assessments.
Please consider that maybe you have your guard up a lil bit too high. Someone is just attempting to try to get to know you. Is that so bad?
Also, women generally recommend that men ask other women open-ended questions. Not only does this get her chatting and give him opportunity to get to know the other person. But it gives her a sense of feeling that he cares enough to ask her about her! I hope that I got that last part right and that it makes sense.
Finally, her response should indicate to him, her level of interest in him, by her openness and letting him inside the mind of the creature! | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 1:15:51 PM | I think everyone has had basically the same experiences....I would tell them there is a whole lot of bullsh*((ers on the personal. They usually agree with me...and THEY are one of them.
I had my share of nine month wonders....wonder if he is being honest with me after nine months of having so much fun. Then find out he was not honest enough to tell me that he just wanted a friend with benefits...that's about it.
I was really naive when I began my journey on the paid sites..I thought everyone was looking for a good woman to be with ........forever....and ever.
Now I smartened up a bit....forever is a minute...too many temptations out there to hang on to a good thing. When your "one in a million"..."too nice"..."too easy to get along with"............they feel they don't deserve to have a wonderful life with a wonderful gal.
So there are the temptations...the drama mommas..the sex sirens who crave attention and yes........they usually get his attention. He runs to her to be her knight in shining armor...to aid her in anything he can do to see a smile one her face...to comfort her in her times of sorrow. .............
And let my hand slip away from his because he knows I can live without him.....and say goodbye...and take care. Leaving a void once more..........and many say ...just get back online and find that wonderful guy out there who would enjoy my company.
Now my life is sooo busy...too busy to take the time for any more nine month wonders...so I get on POF these days just for the forums. | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 1:28:20 PM | Not just the guys who ask that question; almost without exception, that is the approach women have taken with me.
I don't know of a good way to answer it, really, seems like premature prying, even though I am certainly sympathetic to anyone at the front-end just trying to start a conversation.
My profile is crammed with stuff with which to start a conversation, unlike most of the profiles of women that I have seen, so I am suspicious of that question about my experiences. | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:05:01 PM | When someone asks that they're asking a million online single lonely people how it's working for them, hoping that one of them responds with - "Hey it freaking worked GREAT! Amazing! Like Dating Viagra! I'm getting laid, by 20 different RICH and employed hotties....it's amazing! Dude! you have to join so you can get laid by rich hotties too...!"
That's why we see the same question all the time...in many ways.
They're waiting for the ONE single fantasy answer
Life just doesn't happen like that.
But?
The POF's crowd is eternally optimistic... it could happen! It could happen today! Any moment. Even right now in Ask a Girl...some blonde, perky breasted bimbo named Gazingatmyboobies may have the REAL answer to that burning need to know question that keeps all of us from the partnership we seek in our real lives....
Inquiring minds want to know.
oops sorry folks I thought this was asking about online...in person why would someone ask this?
They want to know how big a loser you are upfront and they forgot to ask it while IM-ing you...
"Uhm so..... Dave how's this online dating thing working for you? Really? 4,287 dates and none a keeper? what's that? Sorry I can't understand what you're saying... uhm Dave, perhaps you should swallow that mouth full of steak fajita's before you try to respond.... waiter? Check please!"
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:25:53 PM | "Have you been dating long?"
OP: That's NOT a new question!
You mean to tell me that you WOULDN'T like to know how long someone has been on the dating scene? Or how many different dates in that amount of time, the person has been on?
Not to mention, how many serious relationships, and the duration of them, the other person has been in?
Just because the question has been re-phrased for the internet world, doesn't mean that it's anything new to the dating game.
Here's a likely way that I might respond to such a question;
"Well, I haven't been on any *bad* dates yet. Met some pretty cool women and had a good time. But the spark/chemistry just wasn't there and I didn't think that they'd be my cup of tea in the long run, or vice versa."
Even though I don't like the interview style. You can't escape the fact that you are interviewing someone, and vice versa.
If you are REALLY good at interviewing for jobs. Then If you apply the same principles towards date interviewing, you will be successful...........IF, you decide that your dates interview went just as good! | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:51:10 PM | .. I'm getting laid, by 20 different RICH and employed hotties....it's amazing! Dude! you have to join so you can get laid by rich hotties too...!"
Actually, GoneSailinBabe you're not far off... Sometimes I use the question as an ice breaker, but usually I'm checking to see how often they got out to play. It also opens the door for me to 'fess up that I'm a tramp and that the Fleet's in. Ditto the famous, have you been here long? | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 19 | |
| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 3:30:19 PM |
The POF's crowd is eternally optimistic... it could happen! It could happen today! Any moment. Even right now in Ask a Girl...some blonde, perky breasted bimbo named Gazingatmyboobies may have the REAL answer to that burning need to know question that keeps all of us from the partnership we seek in our real lives....
Dangit! I did a User Search on "Gazingatmyboobies" and she doesn't really exist!
Now what am I supposed to do?? 
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 5:47:49 PM | I always ask guys to tell me about that,,
because they tell me about their horror dates and funny stuff,,
and i like laughing,,lol
guy must be funny if he wants to date me,,,a must | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/28/2008 6:49:06 PM | | it's just an icebreaker for online chatting, while getting to know someone. That question alone can give you pretty nice clues as to wether they are jaded or bitter (and then you can run away quickly). Or just talking about dating horror stories, that's always fun. Altho I agree I wouldn't want to hear about their current dating life in person thats a bit..awkward. | |
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| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/29/2008 8:16:04 AM | Talking about other dates I've had with someone on a first date just seems weird.
Your original post was about asking how things are going and your general experiences on the many internet dating sites ( match, yahoo, etc.) in meeting someone, not about any particular date or guy.
It is no different if someone asked you if you met anyone nice at a particular bar or club or on a singles cruise vacation..... You are single and you are seeking to meet someone. It is a reasonable and valid question.
Now if they asked about specifics and "details" about a particular date maybe that would be a lil wierd........... especially if they started breathing heavy..... | |
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Kaltes
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Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Why does everyone ask, 'How has your experience on Fish (Match, Yahoo, etc..) been so far'?
Posted: 11/29/2008 6:08:09 PM | | I feel that people use it as a safe question to ask for the sake of moving a conversation along as opposed to demonstrating some real interest in me as a person. Statistically, I have noticed that people that use this (and similar questions) are serial daters and have a whole vault of linear questions. I prefer questions that stimulate an actual conversation, filled with ideas and depth. | |
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