| | Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | ok been separated for 4 yrs now, had two or three "short term relationships" then i finally find a nice guy on a dating website (not this one) talk on the phone for week or two before meeting (having already established on the phone that we get on really well), meet up with him and get on like a house on fire, date for further two months, introduced to his son and his mum n dad then i find out he's on POF website messaging other women for dating portraying himself as single. Reason i found out? he messaged a good friend of mine! he hadn't seen her so didn't know who he was messaging but my friend had seen his pic so knew right away who he was.
wtf is that all about guys????? someone please enlighten me
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:03:45 PM | He'd obviously decided that you weren't 'the one' for him, eh?
Had you slept together in that two months? If you hadn't, that may have been a deciding factor.
Seems some blokes are really bad at breaking up a relationship and just move on. This generates 100s of forum posts on here! | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:13:38 PM |
ok been separated for 4 yrs now, had two or three "short term relationships" then i finally find a nice guy on a dating website (not this one) talk on the phone for week or two before meeting (having already established on the phone that we get on really well), meet up with him and get on like a house on fire, date for further two months, introduced to his son and his mum n dad then i find out he's on POF website messaging other women for dating portraying himself as single. Reason i found out? he messaged a good friend of mine! he hadn't seen her so didn't know who he was messaging but my friend had seen his pic so knew right away who he was.
wtf is that all about guys????? someone please enlighten me
Erm... are you and him an item? Coz the statement above doesnt really say... But at a guess..., if he is mailing other women.... he obviously doesnt think that you and him are an item...
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Mana Mana | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:49:09 PM | Oh come on mana Mana - you don't introduce someone to your folks and definitely not your kids unless there is something fairly serious going on. And if you are still marketing yourself as single thats bad. He's a player and unfortunately destroys someones hopes and confidence when they just think they are geting it back together again.
Why do people feel the need , control, getting their own back, (sounds like the next forum header coming up) .
Strawberrysky - I feel for you - he's a jerk - move on - there are some genuine guys out there. | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:55:54 PM | | thanx matty40s, glad to see there are decent guys out there that agree with me that he's done wrong. i was really annoyed that he had introduced me to his son cos that ain't on for the lad, one second i'm being introduced into his life then next second i walk out ~ who looks the bad one? | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:02:11 PM | to answer your previous post yes we had been dating for 2 months and yes i dumped him as soon as i found out wot was going on. i never said i felt this way about all men, i'm merely talking about my experience of this one particular guy and i'm sure i can decide for myself if i am ready for a new relationship!  | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:51:25 PM |
glad to see there are decent guys out there that agree with me that he's done wrong. i was really annoyed that he had introduced me to his son cos that ain't on for the lad, one second i'm being introduced into his life then next second i walk out ~ who looks the bad one?
Dont know how old his son is but dont think you (or anyone else) will actually make much of a impression in two months... really....
With the same sort of thinking.... would you also say that your man shouldnt introduce any male acquaintances into his son'slife unless they will be there forever... another aspect is school lasts for 3/4/5 years mostly - first/infant/middle/upper/high and all that.... how many male teachers will a child have during school years....? Children WILL cope with meeting people and then not having them in their life....
As to the OT - I am sorry that happened to you but it happens to so many people every day every where...
Enlightenment will only come when a relationship works, til then you (or anyone else) will ask the same questions over and over again.....
and we'll all ansa the same over and over again or say dont know.... | |
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AlmaM
| | Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 20 | |
| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:52:42 PM | I know some people look for serious relationship but it is very questionable at what point it becomes so serious people would not feel single anymore.
If I was you OP, I'd write it down just as an experience and move on ..
I agree, introducing someone to your child is an important moment but it does not mean the person is looking for a same type of the serious relationship you are looking for.
Good luck next time.  | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:56:47 PM | | so could some guy tell me how we are supposed to know when you are playing? Took me a long time to find a man to trust he dumped me because he 'didnt have time' i looked on here and he was looking for someone else. 'not to mess them about' lol how do we learn to trust anyone?? | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 3:07:20 PM |
so could some guy tell me how we are supposed to know when you are playing? Took me a long time to find a man to trust he dumped me because he 'didnt have time' i looked on here and he was looking for someone else. 'not to mess them about' lol how do we learn to trust anyone??
Sorry not a guy but in my experience you'll know when you know....
Surely more so with internet dating.... DO NOT take anything at face value....
But.... actually as I write this I am finding it hard to decide on a time/situation that would be ideal to accept another's proclamations of love/desire/whatever....
I have had 4 great relationships in my time.... and I could not tell anyone why they worked at any stage as opposed to other relationships... It was just right at the time....
I doubt many men (or women) could say when they were playing as opposed to serious... it either 'feels good' or it doesnt... Bottom line is if they are messaging others anywhere then it doesnt feel good for them....? | |
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AlmaM
| | Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 24 | |
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| Why is it when u think u'v found a decent guy.... they shit all over u??
Posted: 11/29/2008 3:11:42 PM | | Well sorry to hear you had a toss bag rain on your parade, it happens, why does it happen?? it's down to the individual really. It's hurtful, and horrible and why people do it to one another (regardless of gender), I really don't know. Some people are just too cowardly to either end a relationship and move on, or are just plain old dishonest.. or, both. Either way, karma comes back to haunt, he will get his come uppance in due course. Chin up and hold on in there ;0) xx | |
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