|
|
|
|
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:35:04 AM | I have noticed that the older I get, my metabolism is changing. I need to exercise more, eat less and much healthier, get rest, keep stress levels low, cut out the partying,
totally a different lifestyle than I would have led in my 20`s and 30`s in order to feel good and look good. I also have noticed that many people who have maintained the
habits and diet that they always have ( same amount of drinks, rich food, smoking, couch potato) it is finally catching up with them and they are aging like crazy. It`s almost as if there is a direct link between your lifestyle and how fast you age.
If I eat all natural an healthy food, exercise, and see to my health, I look and feel great.
I get a lot of attention from men etc.But as soon as I get off the wagon, I look and feel 20 years olders. I seem to age immediately.
I know it is not good to be superficial about people`s looks as we age, but I definitely think that weight and health (vitality and activity, overall feeling good) have a ton to do with choices. Every time I have dated a guy who drinks alot, smokes, unhealthy food choices, they always have a ton of health problems that go along with it and seem
really old. When I date someone who watches these things, they are usually more willing to do things, more youthful, healthier and just plain act younger and more fun.
So I do tend to make general assumptions about men and lifestyles by their appearance. It`s not really the "looks" mind you, but from how they look, how they probably take care of themselves and their general lifestyle. I`m not usually going to gel with an overweight couch potato who only wants to lay around, so I tend to pass by the kind of look that is usually accompanied by this lifestyle, from past experiences.
Am I on to something here, or all wet as usual? So my question is, if you would pass by
someone who is really heavy and isn`t well preserved at all, are you being prejudice, assuming that your lifestyles probably wouldn`t be complimentary? | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 7:27:22 AM |
So my question is, if you would pass by someone who is really heavy and isn`t well preserved at all, are you being prejudice, assuming that your lifestyles probably wouldn`t be complimentary?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who is compatible; in fact, it is the only thing that makes sense. I do a lot of things that require being physically active, strong, energetic, etc. That's my lifestyle. I don't smoke, and I only drink lightly and socially. I have noticed that people who don't exercise, who eat an unhealthful diet, and who smoke or drink a lot--and have done so most of their adult lives--have related health problems. I think it isn't very smart to cause youself to have health problems and to cling to unhealthful habits that lead to accelerated aging .
Given all that, yes I would pass on someone who was really heavy and unfit, whose lifestyle is very different than mine. And he would probably pass on me. We wouldn't be compatible. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:07:18 AM | .... on these sites,women that hide their looks tend to have good reason to do so I wouldn't be too sure about that, unless you mean 'good reason' as having to do with wanting privacy, shyness, their occupation, etc. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:07:55 AM | I eat pretty much a paleo, low carb diet that is comprised mostly of protein, fat and green veggies. I can eat all the steak, burgers, bacon, butter that I want and not gain an ounce. A very satisfying way to control your weight and achieve great lipid profiles. It is how we evolved to eat. We are just getting fatter and fatter eating all these "healthy" carbs.
I think my lifestyle is very healthy, even with a couple of glasses of healthy red wine, even though it goes against conventional wisdom. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:43:11 AM | OP, I don’t think there is anything wrong with your assessment or observations and it makes complete sense if you are seeking a particular type of lifestyle with a particular kind of person. If you know what isn’t going to work for you, then be happy you know what it is you won’t accept. A relationship eventually has lots of compromises, why start off compromising right off the bat? Why settle outside of what it is you desire?
You’re probably going to get bashed by those outside your range when they start telling you it’s what’s on the inside that matters, but the truth is, they want you to come to their level, they have no interest in meeting you on yours. There is a certain amount of neediness in it, pick me because you can help me be a better person.
People do change; they may get healthier when they see what they have become, maybe they have had a life shaking experience. They may do soul searching, body make over’s and all kinds of things to reinvent them selves.
At this point in time however, I’m seeking a bit of balance. And I’m not going to wait for someone to play catch up. It’s my decision, and I can live with that. Tick tock, tick tock, Time waits for no one and neither will I. There is somebody for everyone, I may not know what it is I completely want, but I do know some things that I don’t want. That’s a good start. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:21:12 AM | I forgot to answer the question. I don't find obesity attractive, but I do know many healthy overweight people who are active. Given the choices of foods that are convenient, it is not surprising that a majority of Americans are overweight and lack vitality. People are misinformed too, believing that the low-fat mega-muffin is good for you.
I'm not judgmental about weight and don't mind a bit of a tummy on man, not too much though... | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:26:06 AM | I didn't interpret that as "trolling", and I agree with DW and my friend Ismene. For my own first 40 years, I was one of those individuals others love to hate! I had a very high metabolic rate and remember very fondly as a college student being able to eat pizza and ice cream sundaes at midnight, washed down with good old regular soda pop.  Sort of makes me sick to think of it now...! (Never did drink; my indulgence was junk food.)
Then...oh, my Lord. The 40th birthday hit and the fast metabolic rate slowed WAY, way down. Honestly, it's not good in the long run to be the way I was because I had to learn good healthy eating habits from that point. I do OK now; I am 5'5" and weigh 130 pounds, but that's strictly from eating balanced portions and doing a lot of walking and yoga. With the holidays upon us, I'm really having to be careful!  I could stand to lose a couple of pounds right now, so I'm probably going to do Weight Watchers online again and count points (really good for losing weight and being accountable for one's diet.)
So, yeah, the type of man to whom I am attracted doesn't need six-pack abs. In fact, I think that looks a bit gross on guys past 40. But, I definitely would like a man who is in shape for his age. A teeny pot belly is kind of cute (and in turn, I hope he accepts the fact that my "booty" is in pretty good shape but I have to work at it!) If he has the confident personality to go along with it...oh, baby, come to mama!  | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 11:46:29 AM | yes you are being prejudiced. but being prejudiced in this sort of personal choice is simply being wise. if you get with someone who has a different lifestyle than you do, and the two cant be merged at a happy medium (because of the lifestyle choice itself or because of the inclination of the people involved) then you are headed for what i call the 100% compromise. one of you gives in all the way. it does not work out well at all. for example my son just broke up with someone because they could not make the 100% compromise and get along (she did not want kids, he does). wise move on his part. if you want to stay with your healthy lifestyle, and i applaud you for doing it, then you are wise to not let someone else change it or change it for them. if you do you will only be unhappy with yourself and them.  | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:51:20 PM | Why thank you upright citizen trrpier!
While I’m sure you’re just doing a bit of community service work, I’ll fathom a guess and say that most of us here are grown up enough to figure out what it is we want to do all on our own.
I answer because I want to, not because of what I may perceive the poster to be. If the “topic” has some relevance to me, I’ll reply. I don’t need your moral approval. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:26:34 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^ I think he is done for now giving warnings about terrible me. But I am sure he will be back soon, with more words of wisdom and guidance for everyone as to how life is. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:51:21 PM | My job has had me travel the world pretty much non stop for the last four years. I also grew up in a restaurant family. This is NOT a good combination for a guy like me.....because when I'm in Rome....I'm doing as the ROMANS DO. And that means I made a choice to enjoy as much food from my travels as I possibly could. And I took great advantage of it. I figured, "what the hell...nobody wants me when I'm skinny...and that fettucini with alfredo, shrimp and clams is whispering into my ear like a lusty lover.....saying......'eat me....oh god...please EAT ME!!'"
Now that I'm back though and can enjoy some considerable time off, I'm in the mood now to take some of that travel OFF. One of my projects for the next three months is to at least get back to a healthier lifestyle. Yeah...I got to get the old metabolism going again. I'm terrible about wanting to get to some machine in a hotel after already putting in a twelve hour day at work. So I've started doing the juicing and hitting the running track. It's going to be a LONG THREE MONTHS..... But sometimes I still have NO IDEA of whom I'm trying to impress by it all. Why worry about all of this?? Is some magical person whom I connect with on all levels just going to mysteriously POP OUT OF NOWHERE once I've achieved my desired weight?? That guy on The King of Queens has a really HOT WIFE....and just look at HIM!!!... What about Jim Belushi?? huh?? Don't all these sitcoms have a stupid fat guy with a really beautiful wife?? Ralph Kramden did, didn't he?? WHERE'S MY HOTTIE???
But I digress.....or digest.....whatever...... | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 12/2/2008 5:28:20 PM | After my sex change, I had a great deal of lifestyle change that made me feel very good about myself. I discovered beer, my God-given right to the remote, and the absolute beauty in power tools and motorized lawn vehicles. And as a woman, I had never seen the beauty of these things, was aware of their necessity to life, or even pondered at the sheer intricacy of their design. If I had it to do all over again, I’d never walk away from a description of a tongue and groove joint, the horsepower output of the new John Deere lawn tractor, why 8 cylinders are really necessary, or why one must drink beer.
Yes, I’ve had a great deal of change in my lifestyle and I feel that it’s made me into a better person.
cdn guy | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 12/2/2008 7:27:39 PM | I have noticed that the older I get, my metabolism is changing. I need to exercise more, eat less and much healthier, get rest, keep stress levels low, cut out partying.
First of all OP, you don't sound like you're very much fun at all.......
So I do tend to make general assumptions about men and lifestyles by their appearance.
Really? And do you do that about women too?
Am I onto something here, or all wet as usual?
No, you're onto something. You're not attracted to obese or overweight, aging dregs of society, who are not "acting" youthful healthy and FUN!!!.
So my question is, if you would pass by someone who is really heavy and isn't well preserved at all, are you being prejudice, asuming that your lifestyles probably would't be complimentary?
Well, I would hope, for their sake you and your prejudice, would pass them by.You need to go find yourself a "stud muffin" and a "body beautiiful" that will live up to your expectations. Heaven forbid he might have a scar from liposuction. Do you realize how shallow you actually sound? On second thought, you probably don't.
As a slim woman. I'm actually attracted to the chubby type....to each their own, | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:20:26 PM | I have no right to judge anyone unless I have walked in their shoes. I have been thin and now I am not. Life happens. Health problems happen. Thirty years ago, I would have never thought to have been overweight or have had some of the medical problems in life--but life happens. I do believe that when we love someone it is for sickness and in health. Sometimes people gain weight...people get depressed...people have serious illnesses...so they are no longer worthy? A man that I adored for 15 years died of lung cancer. I was so amazed at his courage and humor to the day he passed. People are either compatable or they are not...but I can't be rude and cruel to people if they are not perfect. It's about love. Loving unconditionally. After a first date or two, people really know in their hearts if they are compatible to be just friends or more.
Communication and listening is so important to a good relationship that all of this other stuff about a person's perfection is going to make it difficult for many to find true love. I know exactly what I want, and when he finds me I will be scared to life! LOL. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:54:43 AM | So my question is, if you would pass by someone who is really heavy and isn`t well preserved at all, are you being prejudice, assuming that your lifestyles probably wouldn`t be complimentary?
why yes i would, thank you very much. call me prejudiced if it makes you feel better!
i have been with my boss longer than i have been with any of my boyfriends or the one long-lost husband. as we have aged, we have both made various adjustments along the way.... stop smoking, change the diet, add supplements, exercise more, or maybe even exercise less, lol (to account for bad knees), etc.
when i was a kid, i could eat anything and everything all day long and not gain a pound. i regularly ate a whole pizza! a dozen pancakes for breakfast on the weekend! where do you think i'd be now if i continued to eat like that? about 300 pounds, that's where. diabetic, and god knows what else, if not dead from a heart attack.
many people drift through life never changing the way they think, or the way they eat. these are the people who are content to just let themselves go to seed along the path of least resistance, and it starts to become obvious right around the age of 45-50. i'm not interested in that.
so yeah, i'm real prejudiced that way. it IS an issue of incompatible lifestyles, values, and motivations. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:17:45 AM | i look after myself, i cannot understand those who do not, no way am i gonna get with some one who does not or can not or will not look after their health,
i don't need to change my lifestyle, it is already way healthier than most peoples,
i have always thought the body is a temple, have treated mine as such, and can not really enjoy the vibe of someone who has not | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:53:06 AM |
It`s almost as if there is a direct link between your lifestyle and how fast you age.
There is no "almost" about it. There IS a direct link between lifestyle and the aging process. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/19/health/19aging.html
I get a lot of attention from men etc.But as soon as I get off the wagon, I look and feel 20 years olders. I seem to age immediately.
So what more incentive do you need? In fact, stop thinking of it as getting on and off the wagon. Ride that wagon forever.
I know it is not good to be superficial about people`s looks as we age, but I definitely think that weight and health (vitality and activity, overall feeling good) have a ton to do with choices. Every time I have dated a guy who drinks alot, smokes, unhealthy food choices, they always have a ton of health problems that go along with it and seem really old. When I date someone who watches these things, they are usually more willing to do things, more youthful, healthier and just plain act younger and more fun.
Stop apologizing for how you feel. There's a difference between judging one's looks based on age versus one's looks based on lifestyle. The first is inevitable and the latter is a choice. If one makes a choice to live a lifestyle that proves detrimental to their looks, then being judged on those looks goes with that choice.
So my question is, if you would pass by someone who is really heavy and isn`t well preserved at all, are you being prejudice, assuming that your lifestyles probably wouldn`t be complimentary?
It goes deeper than that. If you make choices, i.e., sacrifice short-term pleasures, that directly result or improve your chances of living a longer healthier life, why would you want to be stuck taking care of someone who doesn't make the same choices/sacrifices? Your only other option is to pair with someone much younger so that in your later years you're both at the same level of health and one of you isn't a burden on the other. Prejudice? Hell, no! It's called taking steps to insure your own happiness. People who live healthy lives greatly improve the odds of maintaining that health well into later life. There is nothing prejudice about selecting someone who shares that ideology. It's called making the most of life. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 7:04:33 AM | .... on these sites,women that hide their looks tend to have good reason to do so
BS
I wouldn't be too sure about that, unless you mean 'good reason' as having to do with wanting privacy, shyness, their occupation, etc.
Ismene, I agree. Because I only wanted to participate in the forums, I originally had no photos but met with the attitude above and was sometimes accused of hiding something which somehow invalidated any point I was trying to make. There are many good reasons for not having a photo publicly posted on the worldwide web.
In response to desert's OP, I'd seek to date someone with a similar mindset and lifestyle without having to alter my own just in order to attract another, which in a way would be manipulative and false. If one is going to change their lifestyle, they should do it for themselves and not do it to attract others. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 7:12:57 AM | It is true that it becomes much harder to keep in reasonable physical shape as time goes on. What i don't quite understand is why so many people who have clearly stopped even trying are attracted to those who do, and consider that the attraction should be mutual. I am aware that being slightly plump is a pleasant place to be, and fighting that mode is not all that easy or enjoyable, but I do make the effort, and expect any person in my life to be of similar mind. When I do run into really overweight people I confess to lapsing into the perhaps unfair view that their physical situation is a reflection of their entire lives, and find myself turning away from them.
My own view is that seeing as how we don't have all that much time left, we should make every effort to be as healthy and fit as we can be so that we can fully enjoy that time to the fullest.
On the youthfulness topic, yes, it was nice to be young, but its better in most ways to be older. Certainly when I interact with young people I am not left with much desire to be like them in most ways. I certainly don't want to be old and decrepit, but being "youthful" is not a particular goal either. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 7:23:57 AM | I'm not sure what the question is, and I am not stupid.
LOL
I guess what puzzles me is the OP asking these questions and her being a Big & Tall/BBW (on her profile)... That makes me wonder the intent of this whole thread so I will leave it at that.
It is very difficult being a great detective | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 7:57:44 AM | I believe the OP purposely makes her profile seem unattractive because she doesn't view POF as an avenue for finding what she is looking for. I.e., she's here mostly for the forums and as a voyeur.
I somewhat share her purpose - although not to the same extent. I have my profile hidden from public view but anyone can look at it by virtue of my participation in these forums. In addition, I occasionally send messages to others when something they've said sparks my interest - and they can view my profile in that manner as well.
In any event, even if someone views my profile there's not much information there. Although what is there is 100% accurate. | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 8:09:29 AM | We all look for someone that is attractive.
But as I've grown older having been around some that aren't as active overweight its kind of a downer to be with someone that gets out of breath walking into Wal-Mart on a level parking lot, breaking into a sweat, then wondering if they'll be able to make it back out the the vehicle with out falling over.
Might not be there fault as it could be the glands but darn... | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 2:34:48 PM | Hey, I am w/ the OP. I started a diet (the one that Marie Osmond lost 45 lbs on) & joined a gym. Last week I attended a lecture about the 100 year lifestyle...Dr Eric Plasker ..I want to live past 100
I used t think that men who went to the gym & didn't want to date full figured gals were elitist muscle heads. Not too long ago, I read a man's profile in this site & a lightbulb went off. The guy wants to take care of himself & wants to be w/ a woman that he doesn't have to take care of if they can help it & not be dragged down. I realize that not everyone is a superficial pig looking for Barbie. It makes sense, if you work on yourself, why be w/ someone who will thwart your efforts???
Here's to living past 100 | |
|
| changing lifestyles to stay feeling good.
Posted: 1/16/2009 3:27:27 PM | For me, it's pretty simple. You're going to die, period. You only have a certain amount of minutes. I'd much rather be with someone who used those minutes to read or meditate than heading off to Gold's. . . . . I don't expect anyone else to agree with my preference. But given a choice between a great body, a great mind, a great soul, I'd pick one of the last two, every damn time. I have noticed that those interested in the first are not all the interested and/or able to achieve the second two, and possibly vice versa.
 | |
|
| |
|
|
Home
login 
