| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:00:24 AM | A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near highway 481 in Maverick Co.Texas,early one cold December morning.Suddenly,a huge buck walked out over the corn they had spread in the brush with a tailgate feeder.The buck was huge with magnificent antlers,a once in a lifetime animal.The hunters hand shook as he was already counting Boone and Crocket points.Moving quickly the hunter carefully aimed the Leuopold scope on his .300 Winchester Magnum rifle at the unsuspecting buck. As he was about to squeeze the trigger on the buck of a lifetime,his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly downhighway 481.The hunter pulled away from the gun,set the rifle down,took off his hat,bowed his head and closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was stunned."Wow,that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you do.You actually let that trophy deer go to pay respect to a passing funeral procession.You are indeed the kindest man I haver ever known and am proud to call you a friend" The hunter shrugged."Yeah,well we were married 37 years".  | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 10:47:57 AM | | You need newer & more original material to get my giggle | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 11:27:05 AM | A bloke had taken a party of fishermen around the lakes and they had a very successful day's fishing, so they invited him into their posh hotel for a drink. In the lounge were a dozen heads of deer proudly mounted on the wall.
"What do you think of those?" they asked the bloke.
"Well," he replied thoughtfully, "that herd of deer must have been travelling at a fair old pace when they hit that wall."
There are stacks of hunters around here, (Brittany). They're totally weird. They wander around the fields carrying guns and wearing camouflage. On top of the camouflaged jackets they sport bright orange vests so as to be visible to other hunters. Why bother with the camouflage in that case? At mid-day they retire to the local watering hole and get rat-arsed, boasting about the ferocious rabbit they'd managed to bag. | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 12:05:18 PM | I believe Monty Python can describe to you why we tell stories about the ferocious rabbit...
Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim: There!
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
[after Bors is killed by the killer rabbit]
Tim: I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it? | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:44:47 PM | ^^^ *grabbing the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch*
"Thou shalt count to Three..."
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 4:47:55 PM | one, two, FIVE
three sir
THREE | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/2/2008 5:04:43 PM | 1! 2! 5!
"3 sir!"
3!
*throws* | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:34:43 AM | | LMAO, the part with the rabbit scared the crap out of my little sister. She looked up at my dad and asked, "Rabbits arent really like that are they? Cuz we have them in our yard." | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 12/3/2008 12:20:46 PM | | I knew it. You're all insane. I once guided a group of Americans around France and they seemed to know the text of that bloody film by heart. Hour upon hour I kept getting "NI!s" and references to shrubberies. It's weird. Either you've purchased the script or you've all seen the film a thousand times. When it first came out I took a prospective girlfriend to see it. She was under the impression it was a serious Arthurian tale with copious dashes of romance. It started off well with the knights riding into view over a hill. Then it transpired there were no sodding horses, only blokes with coconuts. I could feel her eyes upon me in the darkness of the piccies. They begged the question, "Where are the bleeding horses?". I pretended ignorance. I didn't half get an earful afterwards though. "What sort of a man takes a girl to see a film with people riding on horses that aren't bloody well there?" she shrieked. What could I say? She'd never heard of Monty Python. If I'd have known this fact I would have warned her. But seriously... how do you all know the script? It's uncanny; even a little scary. | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:24:00 PM | Two novice hunters were lucky enough to bag a 12 point buck their first day out. They now had to get it to their car so each grabbed an antler and started to drag it the 3 miles to the car. Stuck in heavy underbrush they were straining and sweating with little progress to show for it.
Another hunter came upon them and suggested they drag it by the hind legs since the antlers were tangling in the brush. This semmed logical so they tried it.
After a half hour they stopped for a break.
Well says one, whaddaya tink?
The other replies well..It's easier but we're getting further from the car. | |
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| hunting joke
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:33:05 PM | Seen the movie a thousand times, you just get to know what's coming next, and it's so friggin funny, it never gets old. | |
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