| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:06:45 AM | | ok what is it with guys and first date sex.. what is wrong with wanting to get laid if you like the guy? why dont they call or have a 2nd date? i would.. if i had a good time and was in the mood **** it...why is that wrong? if you had a good time and like the girl before sex why not after sex... this is not the 60's people enjoy life.. like is not that long just be safe........ | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:16:04 AM | Look if you want to have sex on the first date, go for it. I see nothing wrong with that. However, a second date and follow-up is a whole other ball of wax. Now you're starting the ball to rolling into possible relationship territory. For probably most guys sex is just sex and they can completely compartmentalize it. You may get a booty call later but it might not be right away because, as I said before, that starts things in motion that he might not want to start.
I don't know your particular situation or experience and I'm not saying that this necessarily applies to you but... I have on occasion slept with someone, that later, well, let's just say I wished I hadn't. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:18:01 AM | Simple.....
If the sex was good they'll call back, if the sex sucked, don't expect a phone call. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:21:32 AM | | lol i have never been told i was bad.. really just the opp............. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:23:03 AM | | wait guy wish they had not had sex..........lol........ | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:26:38 AM |
lol i have never been told i was bad.. really just the opp.............
When you sleep with a guy on the first date, your taking that chance of it being a one-night-stand. And One-night-stands are only one night because the guy didn't think you were good enough in the sack, so whether or not you think your good or bad isn't up to you to decide, but rather, if you get that phone call for the next meet....  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:29:23 AM |
wait guy wish they had not had sex..........lol........
Yep. Got drunk and woke up with someone I was willing to chew my own arm off in order to get away from.  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:56:13 AM | | I agree with the other to wanting a relationship or not. If the sex was incredible she will get a second date or at the minimum a request for more sex. If a guy doesn't call again after that it wasn't that great to him. I'm not saying it was horrible just not memorable. Oh and most guys wouldn't tell a woman she wasn't that good, why even go there? | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:22:55 AM | | Having sex on the first date and being really good just shouts been around too much, too loose, f****ed tooooo many men. Some guys just don't want a woman that has been around the block too many times. In their minds they are thinking about all the guys you have been with and that taught you all those tricks. Not very appealing to some men. Sorry but the double standard still exists. And by the way the 60s were all about free love, we did the commune thing where everybody shared, that's how we learned that most men don't appreciate a loose woman. It's true we all want the relationship to end up with sex, but when you give up the goods right away then they got what they wanted and it is no longer a challenge. But hey, if that's what you want then give it up and continue to have one night stands. To each their own. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:25:54 AM | OP, I don't know who told you that there's something "wrong" with first date sex between two consenting adults.
In my life experience, every long term relationship started with first date sex, including a 20 year marriage. In fact, when there's been chemistry, it's always led to first date sex.
Conversely, in my experience, if there isn't that strong "I want you" mutual feeling that leads to first date sex, to continue dating usually leads to, at best, a lukewarm connection.
Of course, this is an individual decisions, and others feel differently. You are not "odd", though, OP. Every study that I've seen has shown that over 30% of people have had first date sex, and I expect that percentage is much higher for people who are divorced and a little older. | |
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~EQUE~
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Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 11 | |
| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:40:56 AM |
Having sex on the first date and being really good just shouts been around too much, too loose, f****ed tooooo many men.
I couldn't disagree more....
I think sex is very natural. How someone touches, feels and explores another person, IMO, isn't something taught, but rather something very natural and unique for everyone.
I was with someone who I knew was with a lot of women and he was nothing to write home about.
I thinks it's wrong to assume someone had been around the block just because they're good in bed and it's also wrong to assume someone sucks in bed because they have only been with 1 or 2 people...
JMO tho *shrugs* | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:57:21 AM | It's called a one night stand...take it for what it was, there's nothing wrong with it
Don't go getting all weird and wanting a relationship just cause he stuck ya | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:04:54 AM | | sure nothing it wrong with it..but if i get laid on the first date...im gonna question how many other guys shes done this with | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:24:03 AM |
When you sleep with a guy on the first date, your taking that chance of it being a one-night-stand. And One-night-stands are only one night because the guy didn't think you were good enough in the sack, so whether or not you think your good or bad isn't up to you to decide, but rather, if you get that phone call for the next meet....
Do you really think we care about how good you were in bed if WE **** YOU ON THE FIRST NIGHT?
Most of the time we have already decided whether or not we'll see you again before it even gets to sex. In fact first date sex really ruins your chances of making it a relationship with a lot of guys.
How many times can you have first date sex before you write a whiny thread about how no guy wants you because you've ****ed too many other blokes? See, first date sex, implies you're going to be the chickie with high number already.
The phone call for the next date usually comes if we're interested in you, not because you either ****ed like a sexy woman or ****ed like a pig. We can always get laid somewhere else. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:29:08 AM |
sure nothing it wrong with it..but if i get laid on the first date...im gonna question how many other guys shes done this with
so it's the first date and your BOTH getting laid and you question how many other guys SHES done this with....ever think maybe she's wondering how many other girls have you done this with? Double edged sword my dear, takes two to tango... | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:30:20 AM |
I couldn't disagree more....
I think sex is very natural. How someone touches, feels and explores another person, IMO, isn't something taught, but rather something very natural and unique for everyone.
So you're going to do that unique thing WITH everyone?
Whether you do or don't. When you have sex on the first date, you've already proved you're not very discriminating in your partners. Look the average chickie isn't much different in bed than the next one. Don't kid yourself.
Greater numbers of sex partners doesn't teach you anything. In fact it usually means you never stuck around long enough to learn how to be a great lover. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:31:58 AM |
so it's the first date and your BOTH getting laid and you question how many other guys SHES done this with....ever think maybe she's wondering how many other girls have you done this with? Double edged sword my dear, takes two to tango...
But if the guy isn't planning on sticking around after the sex, do you really think we give a toss about what she thinks about us? | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:32:34 AM | | RE: EQUE Sure sex is natuaral, we all know that, but like anything else to be really good at it you have to practice and learn new techniques. The way to do that is to have lots of sex. In other words they have been around the block a few times. That is allright, but again if she isn't getting the 2nd date and is questioning the fact that it maybe because of sex, then I guess it is time to stop giving up the goods right away. Also, we aren't assuming she has been around, she is the one saying she gives it up and then doesn't get 2nd dates. | |
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~EQUE~
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Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 19 | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:43:13 AM |
Greater numbers of sex partners doesn't teach you anything. In fact it usually means you never stuck around long enough to learn how to be a great lover.
might be the first post I have seen from Chancelore that I agree with.. ;)
practice doesn't make perfect..PERFECT practice makes perfect..
if you keep on 'practicing' the wrong things, you don't get any 'better'.. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:53:45 AM | I would never have first date sex.
The mind needs to connect before the hips do, otherwise it is just mutual masturbation. I have had a number of second date sex, and virtually anyone I have seen third date sex, but at least I got to know them a bit. In ALL cases except one it ended up in a long term relationship. I regret the one.
I won't have sex with someone I don't even know if I want to continue to be seeing them. Besides, if she is so hot to trot to bed me, how many others were there that way, and what does it mean other than sex?
Sorry, I need the potential of a relationship. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:54:03 AM |
what is wrong with wanting to get laid if you like the guy?
Nothing wrong with wanting, IMO. You can want all day. But doesn't phrasing the question like this imply using a guyfor sex? "He doesn't repulse me, and I'm horny. Okay, let's have sex."
why dont they call or have a 2nd date?
Depends on the individual. I can guarantee it's not based solely on if the sex was bad, good, or incredible.
i would.. if i had a good time and was in the mood **** it...why is that wrong? if you had a good time and like the girl before sex why not after sex
They aren't you. Most (if not all) people have certain associations with sex. In the beginning of the relationship most of the relevant and important "communication" takes place in the individuals head. Over time and development of a more meaningful relationship the "communication" is actually vocalized.
IOW you begin to switch focus between indirect to direct communication.
Also, believe it or not, men aren't simply shallow sex addict monkeys. Me like girl, me like sex, girl me like have sex with me, me continue see girl. It's a lot more complicated than that.
Maybe the guy didn't want to have sex, but felt compelled/pressured as men are generally seen as always wanting sex. The idea may have been implied/reinforced with indirect communication. He had to comply so as not to be seen as having something wrong/bad with him.
Sounds crazy huh. Because no one ever succumbs to pressure for sex, and then feels guilty, maybe used, afterward. | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:57:03 AM |
so it's the first date and your BOTH getting laid and you question how many other guys SHES done this with....ever think maybe she's wondering how many other girls have you done this with? Double edged sword my dear, takes two to tango...
But if the guy isn't planning on sticking around after the sex, do you really think we give a toss about what she thinks about us?
doesn't matter if either person is going to stick around, all i meant it's awfully one sided of him to be kinda calling her damaged goods for something both parties are doing | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:01:16 AM | There is nothing wrong with first date activities... I find mixed signals and then not walking the walk more offensive than getting naughty on the first date. I am one of the few who respects a woman more if she willing to share some special times with me on the first date than one who just wants to get to know me.  | |
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| first date sex
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:05:22 AM |
ok what is it with guys and first date sex.. what is wrong with wanting to get laid if you like the guy?
Nothing wrong with it at all, if all you want is a lot of one-night stands.
It comes down to... Do you want to be thought of as a person or as a sex toy? Do you want to be there for a long time, or just a good time?
Besides, we tend to think that if you have sex on the first date with us, you probably did with a lot of other guys too. Guys don't want to get involved with women like that unless all they want is sex... | |
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