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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don      Home login  
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 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 1
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don'tPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok...so i've decided to rejoin the dating scene after 3 years...and I've encountered a few guys on POF who seemed like they were intrested in me...flirted, talked, exchanged emails..that whole thing...so then i get intrested in them...then the next minute they seem to have changed their mind...I just don't understand. Is it a game? Make the girl fall for you..then ignore her..or stop answering her emails, stop calling, stop Imming her....I mean in all my years of dating I have never had this problem..is it something that happens to everyone? Or am I just talking to the wrong guys on here....I've learned not to fall easily for guys...I've done that in my past and I've just gotten hurt...so I don't know what I am doing wrong..or even IF i'm doing something wrong...Am i putting something out that is attracting these fickle guys? or are all guys fickle? I'm just very confused, and lost here....
 PattyMan2001
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 2
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Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 7:36:33 PM
Not all guys are like that.....I've answerd your E-Mails......What did I do Wrong....I think I'm gonna Cry.....*tear*
 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 3
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 8:06:22 PM
why are you crying...not like your intrested in me lol


anyways...i need advice...i love pof for the friends ive made and the forums...but it keeps getting harder and harder to come back here...when i cant seem to talk to a decent guy on here who isnt fickle...
 Klo
Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 4
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 8:11:27 PM
Kristine....they arent worth the heartache, trust me girl...
I dated an ex- "forum regular" for quite a while and he pulled that same sh*t...he was saying the "I love yous" one minute and then the next minute he despises me for no reason....I cant answer why they act all lovey-dovey one minute and the next they dont...im still trying to figure this out LOL. But seriously, you are a great chick and no offense to the guys on here b/c some are really cool, but a good majority are not worth the time and effort of a awesome, intelligent chick like yourself.
 calmingchaos
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 5
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 9:06:06 PM
I wouldn't worry about it Kristine. I'm positive it is nothing personal. It is their problem - not yours - you seem like a real sweetheart :) and no, you're not doing anything wrong. Same thing happened to me recently. Do I care? Hell no. If I didn't know it before, I've come to realize - it takes all kinds - especially when searching for someone online. Maybe someone better comes along, maybe it is indeed a game, maybe they get cold feet....bottom line is....who cares???

Keep your chin up darlin
 jennifer j
Joined: 10/15/2004
Msg: 6
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 10:51:04 PM
they can't handle their feelings and emotions like a woman can
 hilarys4u
Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 7
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/20/2005 11:00:28 PM
know what? the more i learn about men the more i like my dog!!! (ok, always wanted to say this, had to..no offense gentlemen pls) I know what you are talking about Kristine, i think at one point or another we have all been there. My daughter came home from school one day head over heels "in love" with this boy in her class and that they are "going together" now to me at that age means that he won't trip her in the playground...well my baby came home from school the other day heartbroken...the little bugger tripped my baby (not literally of course) i asked what happened and she replied --yesterday he was like talking to me all day, at like recess and like lunch, and like today,he like didnt talk to me at all...and like talked to so and so instead!!!!! (wanted to shove bamboo shoots down his fingernails for dissing my baby like that) I have no idea what goes through their minds when they are telling us one day we should do this and do that, then the next day, well.....like Calming said...its not you sweetie, its them. Hurts though still, i know.

Don't give up...i just sneaked a peak at your profile...i like your new pic, and 24lbs???????you go girl...congrats, great feeling huh? The guy that dissed you, guaranteed will be eating his heart out soon enough when he realizes what we already know...you are beautiful. I love your positive attitude too

Hil
 Shyhockeygal
Joined: 1/11/2004
Msg: 8
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/21/2005 1:56:27 PM
I so know where SK is coming from as I am going throught this right now with 2 guys.....I know how you feel SK
 grbagejnki
Joined: 3/23/2005
Msg: 9
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/21/2005 2:43:06 PM
I won't mention any names but I am having the same problem with a guy on this site. We had a date and he tottaly kissed me first and was petting my hand was tottaly into me on our date... so then I tell him I had a great time and I like him and hope to see him again soon.... he doesn't reply for ever ... finally he replies with the "im having shit in my life excuse."

well I'm sorry but if things are that bad then why are you signed on here all the time talking to everyone else!?!?

just don't tolerate that doodie darlin!

I met some cooler guys and they treat me way better... hopeing to end up with a boyfriend pretty soon.
 outdoorguy28
Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 10
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Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:23:28 PM
Ussually if I guy acts like he likes you one day and the next day he does not is probably because you seem uninterested in him or you dont appreciate all the attention he his giving you. He will usually just move on to the next female thats what I do
 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 11
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:39:42 PM
Ussually if I guy acts like he likes you one day and the next day he does not is probably because you seem uninterested in him or you dont appreciate all the attention he his giving you.

^^^yea well with guys on this site if you give any attention back you come off as being desperate or easy...neither of which i am...i just wanna a guy who is not fickle..and is honest about his feelings....and dosent change his mind everyother day
 anotheraviator
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 12
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:46:28 PM
You also have to remember that the net makes most men 'pervs'. So they may simply be trying to edge their way into some quick sexual gratification whilst using the net to keep them distant.

You'll know the true 'fellas because they will be able to cary on decent conversation. Sex talk is fine, but if it is dominating 90% of the conversation, then there it is probably the only motive.

And if a guy does like you... for real.... it won't be minute to minute. Trust me.

I'm still unsure about this online dating thing. Been there twice... Didn't work out that badly... but still haven't found Miss. OMG. Then again, i'm tremendously picky. You just need to spend more time picking and sorting... that's all. You'll eventually find someone who's all about YOU.
 dco8993
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 13
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:30:14 PM

Ussually if I guy acts like he likes you one day and the next day he does not is probably because you seem uninterested in him or you dont appreciate all the attention he his giving you. He will usually just move on to the next female thats what I do


bang on... no one likes unrequited affection. Usually that happens when a woman is playing "hard to get" or trying not to look "too desperate".
 Hopeless_Romantic_44460
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 14
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:30:13 PM
ITS ALL ABOUT THE PERSONALITY, AND HOW THE CONVERSATIONS ARE GOING! YOU MAY ONE MINUTE HAVE THE MAN BEING AFFECTIONATE, AND THEN NOT, AND THEN THE WOMAN BEING AFFECTIONATE, AND THEN NOT!

PLUS SOMETIMES IT COULD BE HOW YOU JOKE WITH THE INDIVIDUAL ETC. SOME PEOPLE LOVE JOKES, AND SOME OTHERS DON'T OR ANOTHER FACT IS THE INDIVIDUALS CAN'T READ EACH OTHER, AND THEY DON'T KNOW IF IT WILL WORK OUT BECAUSE THEY WILL START DOUBTING THEMSELVES ETC.

REMEMBER. KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, AND IT ALL WORKS OUT IN THE END!!!!

 robertpaulson
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 15
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/26/2005 10:40:01 PM
Holy sh1t. It is an internet relationship, and while it may seem to be an interesting exchange with some potential, the most meaningfull internet relationship is really no big deal. I care more about the cashier at my local Tim Hortons than I do about an internet friendship. At least she is real.

Until the I net becomes a real relationship, it borders on crazy to get bummed out about a virtual relationship.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 16
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:46:14 PM
they are not in control of ther emotions
 shy~mel
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 17
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:40:02 PM
know exactly what u mean kristine, guys do me the same way, they act like a bunch of little boys or something, can't make up their mind what they want and who they want... I feel ya wish someone could help me to understand that one.........
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 18
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:51:53 PM
anotheraviator? You rock, darlin. Great post.
 SuperD
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 19
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:54:12 PM
well...it is possible a guy just might change his mind after a few dates, based on how things are going. Women change their minds all the time, so why can't we.
 ooommaadoll
Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 20
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:56:46 PM
don't take it personally...they just tend to scare easily...
 ManIsAStateOfMind
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 21
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Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 8:40:02 PM
I don't want to sound cold-hearted, because I do feel for you because I have had it happen to me at times as well.... I can just say a lot of guys on the internet (not trying to make a stereotype, because there are a lot of good ones I'm sure, and even a lot of internet women do this too) they either ARE interested, but a few dates into it, you might do something that slighty reminds them of a traumatizing relationship, and they get scared fearing the same heartbreak as before.... OR they are doing that simply for their own satisfaction, the knowledge that someone wants them and they want to make themselves "unavailable" to said person and hurt that one (or more than one's) feelings because they feel that if someone wants them enough to cry or feel bad about them not wanting them all of a sudden, it makes them smile..... simply put, they do it to give themselves an EGO BOOST.

thanks for listening,
-Dave
 Themistocles
Joined: 3/1/2005
Msg: 22
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 8:59:20 PM
Women can do exactly the same thing you all describe. In fact that is the way pretty much every one of my relationships seems to turn out. We go out on a few dates, it's going great and we're getting along and have a lot in common. But then they don't return my calls, they don't show interest, and leave me wondering what happened. I'm not totally sure, but I get the feeling is that I get committed too easily, and that is unattractive in an early relationship (as well as later on and right up until marriage). That is why the men that can commit, aren't given the opportunity, and the ones that can't, always have girls at their beck and call. As much as I hate it, you really have to play "the game" to some degree to have success, as otherwise you invariably appear desperate and needy.
 forumposter
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 23
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:09:10 PM
What he said... plus that there are a lot of people on here looking, and new ones come every day, and a person can go from one to another to another to another and always have something new that "has promise", and never have to go to the trouble (and risk) of getting attached to someone and building a real relationship.
 Hard Rock Princess
Joined: 5/31/2005
Msg: 24
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:15:58 PM
Hey SweetKristine.You seem like fun person,and you will meet the right one.I have the same problem and I don't take it personally.I have learned for the games guys play,and I try to ingore them and if they are really interested they will come calling again.Good luck in your search.
 jazzmansmomforever
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 25
Why do guys act like they like you one minute..then the next they don't
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:50:03 PM
I am going thru the same thing. Met a man on here last week. We joked, talked and met on line the next day etc.
He was eager to meet. I sent him a couple of pleasant chit chatty emails and asked what he thought about a certain day of the week, because I was free and we had discussed the beach. And poof, I know he has been on here checking his mail, but he did not even respond politely to me to say that it was a good day for him. So, Now I am presuming that I have the day free tomorrow, and it won't be spent with him. So, I sent him another email asking for a polite response. But, since men like to hide, I will likely not hear from him again. WHich is likely all good, but why waste my time??? And it makes me doubt my self worth and attractiveness.
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