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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them Duri      Home login  
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 Braddl1
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 1
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During SexPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
There's this guy that loves to humiliate women during sex. He sort of brags about how he can make a woman cry with in 10 mins of getting her clothes off. When I asked him why he does that, he said that all women love to be humilated and degraded during sex. Otherwise they aren't enjoying it.

I'm young I know, but I still don't believe that's the case. Or is the Who's in his 40's actually right about it.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 2
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:55:12 PM
The guys a sick freakin' *#!@*!!
There may be a very small segment of the population that enjoys masochistic behaviour - but you had better know for sure the person you are with is responsive - or you may find yourself in jail!
 bklynrebel
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 3
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:57:30 PM
Another case of gender generalities. There's no such thing as ALL women or ALL men. And your friend who allegedly loves to humiliate women during sex, can make them cry. He probably has a penis about the size of my pinky finger and the women are laughing so hard they're crying.
 TennKan
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 4
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 1:57:53 PM
If a guy really needs to degrade a woman during sex, then he may need real help from a qualified person. There could very well be some underlying issues there, perhaps even dangerous ones should his desire to do this escalate into needing to push the envelope further.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:11:05 PM
Not this woman. I'd like to see him try that sh*t with me.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 6
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:17:53 PM
Well, some PEOPLE (men and women) are masochists. So I suppose they like it. But your friend sounds like a misogynistic douchebag. Especially if he is making them cry within 10 minutes. I guess women are entertainment for your buddy. I wouldn't be surprised if your buddy has been rejected by women in his past and he takes it out in a spiteful way on these women. OP, Have you ever talked to any of these women that he's done this to?

I'm waiting for the Creepy McCreepersons to come out and post about this saying it's okay to do this sort of thing. I probably shouldn't come back to this thread like the rape in relationship thread, but I know I will.
 WhiteTigress0107
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 7
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:20:40 PM
HELL NO! Any guy who ever gets to have sex with me better treat me like I am the most prescious person in the world. This guy sounds like an a$$hole. CREEPS! men like him willnever earn the respect of anyone. I don't wish ill onanyone but it would be hilarious if he contracted AIDS...

JMO

KISSES

KAT
 NOLA Chick
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 8
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:32:43 PM
If it's part of some BDSM role playing that they both agree to, then yeah, there are some women who are into that, for that session only.

If it's just him being an abusive pig who enjoys showing off his power to crush a person emotionally, then the answer is hell no.

If he says "All women love to be humiliated," then he's the latter. This is one seriously messed up and insecure dude. He's threatened by women and is afraid they'll emasculate him so he has to bring them down and take their power. Do not take any advice from him because he's WRONG.

Having just read your profile, I'm wondering if you aren't talking about yourself. You seem to have quite a few misogynist views there, kiddo.
 NOLA Chick
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 9
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:34:10 PM
Doh! Double post. I hate it when that happens!
 LakeCountyGal
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 10
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:07:03 PM
I enjoy some verbal humiliation/dirty talk, sometimes during sex, but only if I want it. If he's just doing it to make women cry, then he's just a jerk. He's actually bordering on abusive behavior towards women, if that's how he treats all of them during sex. My advice? Don't take his advice on women...ever.
 Joline1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 11
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/7/2008 1:07:41 AM
I think he's disgusting.

Humiliation is a particular kink and if two people want this and agree to it - nothing wrong there. But that doesn't sound like the guy you are describing.

Keep far FAR away from him. And warn your girlfriends.
 Captain Calico Jack
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 12
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:27:02 PM
If you keep on baiting people, one of these days you'll get what you're asking for.
Pushing people around is like bending a ruler...you can push it so far before it either snaps back and smacks you, or splinters and breaks, ie you're going to end up with either a literal black eye, or metaphorical blood on your hands (and a possibly very real criminal investigation for domestic abuse). Pray it's the former. Or just stop abusing.

I'm inclined to agree that, judging by your profile this "buddy" of yours sounds like you, or more specifically your fantasy, because your profile comes off as threatened and defensive. By all means, keep it up. I love it how the creeps set up their own red flags!
 Joline1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 13
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:21:38 PM
Yikes - I didn't look at OP's profile before I answered. Now that I have I have a different comment.

OP - get some help. You sound like a misogynist and that kind of attitude is hurtful to women and to men.
 Braddl1
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 14
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 9:39:56 AM

Yikes - I didn't look at OP's profile before I answered. Now that I have I have a different comment.

OP - get some help. You sound like a misogynist and that kind of attitude is hurtful to women and to men.


Funny thing about it is that you are so wrong. My profile is the exact oppposite of who I am. If you bothered to check out my other posts, then I do come off as a pretty nice guy.
 Braddl1
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 15
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 9:50:20 AM

I'm inclined to agree that, judging by your profile this "buddy" of yours sounds like you, or more specifically your fantasy, because your profile comes off as threatened and defensive. By all means, keep it up. I love it how the creeps set up their own red flags!


Sorry to disappoint you all, but when I did write my profile, I was going some stupid sh*t and sort of expressed it in the wrong way. Never have humiliated a woman in bed. Nothing fun about that. There's nothing like seeing a girl turn red as you just drive her crazy with pleasure.

But the guy I'm talking about is some 40 + dude that we see at the bar. This guy has young women my age on his arm all the time. So I was curious as to how he was doing it. He doesn't have that much money. Well not anything worth bragging about. And he does have a rep for being an A**hole, but he still get hot young chicks to go out with him.

The stuff I'm talking about sexually is what has told me has done to these girls. Like spitting in their faces, calling them Filthy C*nts, chicking them. Putting his foot on the heads.

Some have suggested that I'm the "guy" in my post. Nope not me, I have too many female friends to be that stupid. I'm more of the tell you like it is, but with an a**hole zing.

I have no desire to abuse women, I probably wouldn't be found alive if I did. First my My mom would beat my ass, then My sister, who by the way is 41. And my of my female friends. They think I'm an a**hole at times, but they also know that I'm the loveable kind as well.
 cheryls place
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 16
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:25:36 AM
Sounds like your friend is a control freak and a bully. Women get off on being humiliated? What planet is he on? It makes him feel good to humiliate woman, because he feels better and badder. Not because the woman likes it. Tell your friend he needs a psyche evaluation. He has major issues
 itstixsic
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 17
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:18:17 PM
Well, I'm going to choose to ignore like half of you all and just write what I have to say anyways!.... (ahhh good ol' America, where we can all pretend our opinion is the most important!)

I agree with pretty much everyone down the middle on this one here, this guy sounds like he has some serious psychological issues surrounding women and sex.... in the context of his speech only. Either it's an appreciation issue, power over women issue, or it's a rejection issue (all of which, actually this is true in most sexual dysfunctions or "degradation of women" behaviors, can be traced back to a childhood event concerning your mother or your relationship with your mother), either way it's besides the point.... we're not necessarily arguing what causes his behavior now are we?

I'm going to jump over to BDSM here for a second ;). As someone who enjoys the BDSM scene (yeah I know I'm ****ed and everyone will martyr my ass for it, no one cares look past it for a second) I feel like verbal or physical abuse/restraint can be healthy, liberating, creates a deep connection of trust in a relationship, and all in all is a completely healthy form of sexual expression that can give a wonderful amount of ecstasy physically and emotionally for both partners. BUT, there is a fine line being walked there... some do intense amounts of damage to their body in the search of that next level of pleasure, some go over board and kill their partner like we've all seen on T.V a million times right? (LMFAO yeah... okay) I made my point, so because of this well known and widely accepted FACT of the line we walk, many in the BDSM scene are very selective as to who they choose as a partner. Nothing should be rushed, you should get to know the person first, etc etc etc, because the levels of trust you're giving to or receiving from this person is insane. I don't feel like arguing or justifying the mentality of BDSM, I definitely feel like it may be one of the healthiest forms of sexual expression because of how connected, close, and trusting of your partner you have to be...(I mean nothing is hotter then seeing my lover tied up butt in the air begging me to spank her again) This is all leading up to a point I SWEAR!....

SO let's bring it all together shall we? This buddy, because he likes to brag about what he does to these women, because they're all probably strangers to him or only recently introduced, because I'm pretty damn sure if you asked those girls about it they'd tell you it was the worst time of their life, and because he seems to have a delusional opinion on what he is actually doing to these women (there's absolutely no connection in it.... it's rape not ravishment) I'd say he's got some serious problems. I mean he focuses on the fact that he can degrade them during sex, make them trash, dehumanizing them.... I mean yeah that is a part of BDSM and a fun one at that... but he focuses on the pain it brings knowing that it does nothing for them sexually. He's enacting anger and rage that fills his sexual health and opinion of women, its borderline rape and he gives true BDSM lovers a terrible name.

(that was fun! Wow thanks for reading my incredibly long and drawn out post! Lmao fun times.... I'm so bored today I swear...)
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 18
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:19:00 PM
I agree with Leeanne, Msg. #2.... It is a very small segment and something you should discuss before hand.

A healthy sexual relationship is about making the other person feel good, not demean them, or degrade them to the point of crying. That friend of yours professional help if this is the way he truly thinks.

 YourAngel_a
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 19
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 2:04:19 PM
No. Not ever.

Sex is supposed to be empowering, not degrading.
 spiceemomme
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 20
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 2:18:03 PM
There are many men and women out there that get off on humiliation...for whatever reason, however I dont believe its the norm .
We all have our kinks....however your friend, doesnt sound as thought he really knows what hes talking about, since the only tears I would enjoy during sex,are those of bliss......I woulndt find that thru humiliation..
 sweet lady Lori
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 21
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:08:53 PM

He said that all women love to be humiliated and degraded during sex. Otherwise they aren't enjoying it


OMFG!

OK, now that I have gotten that out of my system, you need to tell that guy he is a flaming a$$ hole AND a complete idiot and he needs to go crawl back into his cave!!

Mon Dieu! I have now heard it all!!!!
 CulturedPearl
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 22
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Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:43:37 PM
I must say that I am surprised by the snap judgements made by the people responding. This man sounds like a "typical" man today-that is to say confused and insecure, and no more.
Many men and women do enjoy being humiliated-verbally, and otherwise, and it's possible that either coincidentally, or purposefully, these are the kind of women that he's been with. Until you get into the D/s lifestyle (of which humiliation is a common aspect), you have no idea how prevalent it actually is. It's possible that he's been meeting his partners through D/s sites, chatrooms, or clubs. Lots of men take a small target group-namely the women they've been with-and extrapolate (mistakenly) from that that all women enjoy this or that. It's a common mistake, and I'm not sure that it makes someone a jerk.
It's also possible that the man is just lying to seem macho, and has really had little real time experience, and has gotten these impressions through porn and phone sex, etc. I am a phone sex operator myself, so I know that you will find women to tell you anything you want to hear on lines like that-including backing up the idea that all women are whores, and need, want, and deserve to be treated as such.
I would, however, also look at the women that he must be with if any or all of this is true-they must be terribly insecure, as well, if his words can actually make them cry. I enjoy verbal humiliation often myself, and you couldn't say anything that I would take to heart. People should keep in mind what Eleanor Roosevelt once said-as true now, as it was then, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Men (and women) who brag alot about anything often do so because they're hopelessly insecure, and cannot back it up. All the people I have known who really are extraordinary don't need to tell you.
So, although I feel that this man is being judged too harshly-without all the information necessary to draw a definite conclusion regarding his psychological makeup and proclivities-you may want to keep in mind the other responses you got, because wrong or not, general perception does matter. Women, and at least one man, have referred to your friend as "disgusting," "sick," "misogynistic," "a jerk," and potentially dangerous, among other things. Keep in mind the old French proverb "Dis moi que tu frequents, et je te dis que tu es." ("Tell me what company you keep, and I'll tell you what you are.") If people think you're friend is a jerk, you're going to start looking like one, too. You may want to distance yourself from him.
I hope some of this helps. Best wishes.
 floatman
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 23
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:51:32 PM
Some are into it, some aren't. Some like being talked dirty to and some don't. I've been with several women who enjoyed being called slut when we were having sex. Does that mean she's a slut in real life? No, but those women enjoyed the nasty talk during sex. It happens.

But, if it leads to someone crying during sex, then how is that any fun for her? Or for him if the roles were reversed? I don't know. I'd rather not be having sex with someone if they were crying their eyes out.

That's just me.
 Captain Calico Jack
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 24
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:54:02 PM
If that's the case then I apologize, but the "I have a friend" tactic IS a fairly common way to approach an embarrassing, offensive or controversial subject.


This guy has young women my age on his arm all the time. I was curious as to how he was doing it.

Me too OP, meeee too.

This may seem out in left field, but is he a dealer? I've seen that before. Someone has people under his thumb, you wonder what anyone sees in him. It's definitely not his personality or his looks, turns out it's his monopoly over coke in the area. I've even seen young women fall for their dealers.

Maybe I'm being unduly cynical. But nothing you've said so far conflicts with that theory- loitering in the bar, many different women, people he doesn't respect but over whom he has apparent influence, etc.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 25
Are Women Turned On More When A Guy Degrades and Humiliates Them During Sex
Posted: 12/8/2008 8:07:08 PM
Umm

AFL raises here hand...

I'm sorry but OP...how in the world do you know he's telling the truth?

If you're young enough to buy his BS then good for you. But unless you're there with him, why buy it? He's telling you all that to make himself sound good.
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