| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:36:40 AM | I'm just curious if anybody else is having this sort of problem. it seems to me as I get older, mind you I'm only pushing 30, it seems to me that it is more and more difficult to meet women who do not already have children. It's not for lack of liking children, my reasons are put forth in my profile so I won't go into too much detail. It just seems to me if I am looking for somebody whithout children I almost have to look outside of my age bracket, and that is just so wrong.
Any thoughts? I can imagine this happens to women too so I'd like to hear both sides. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:15:31 PM | OP I understand your strife - as it is difficult as you get older - 'cause chances are there are children involved - as well as ex's! All you can do is keep pushing forward and perhaps you will find what you are seeking! You're a nice guy - don't give up! | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:21:21 PM | If you think it's a high ratio at 30, check 40.
It is natural that the older you get, the greater the percentage of people that have children.
If women want to have kids, the window of opportunity is limited to between puberty and early to mid forties. There are exceptions to the top end, but those are really for people who shouldn't be having kids because they've gone crackers for trying to have a kid past their natural clocks progression.
There are lots of great single parents out there too. Worth taking on a child for. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/7/2008 7:13:18 PM | I always dated guys in their late 20's early 30's and had no issue finding men without children and most of my friends were childless. I also dated men with children though.
Now that I have my daughter I find it harder to find men to date that dont mind that Im a single mum. Apparently there is a loverly stereotype of young single mums that I have inherited. Even though im not so young or stereotypical.
I could care less if someone hs kids or not. Some how I think if the man of my dreams wandered by holding his child by the hand I wouldnt say "Forget that he has a kid" | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:37:31 AM | Thanx Leanne, you're always such a sweetheart.
Karmic - I agree that if I met the absolute woman walwked into my life I am sure my opinion would drastically change. As for the stereotype that your talking about....I have no idea what your talking about, seriously. For me it's nto a sterotype thing.
Nascar - Well I'm generally looking that if I don't have them by my mid 30's. I don't think I'm going to want to have children. I don't wanna be the old man at my sons football games, or the crazy old coot that keeps his daughter lokced away from all the boys :laugh: | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:17:18 PM | I agree that it can be difficult to meet women who don't have children. Most of the women I have met through here and have expressed an interest in do have kids. My ex girlfriend had 3 kids and I got along with them great! so I don't mind kids at all.
I do have worries about having kids someday who are born with the same disability I have or have other health issues. So in some ways I wouldn't mind to be in a relationship with a woman who has kids but doesn't want anymore. I know there is ways to lower the chances of having children born with birth defects if me and my partner wanted to have kids.
For sure there is women out there who don't have kids but to me that number is less than those who are moms. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:29:14 AM | I'm having a similar problem. My 'child' is an adult with a life of her own but most men my age have at least one child under 12. Now, it's not that I dislike children (quite the opposite actually!)
What I DON'T like is the drama that inevitably ensues when dealing with the child's mother. (I truly wish it wasn't this way but, it in past experiences, it always has been)
Even if I do happen upon a guy without kids, he usually wants to have them at some point in the future. Again, having more is not an option for me. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/11/2009 9:01:39 PM | Really touchy subject, this is.
Personally, kids are not so much the issue. However, bad-a$$ kids and crazy baby-daddies, now that's a different story 
Oh and moms who're ready to ditch their kid(s) at a moment's notice just to be with a dude...that's a "no-no" in my book...she's not a keeper.
The big dilemma for me is single women with kid(s) who're not entirely sure if they want anymore? | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/12/2009 2:20:24 PM | | I've met plenty of women who don't have kids even in my thirties. It is more difficult however. I find that many women who don't have kids are real career oriented, which is why they haven't had children. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/12/2009 5:54:43 PM | I have dated men woth children and without and there are pros for each scenario.Not having any children of my own,I enjoy being around kids of all ages.But sometimes it's nice to be carefree and spontaneous too and with children they are the first priority(at least in my humble opinion) and their needs come first.Many a plans have been trashed by some real or imagined emergency and that is what you expect when there are kids involved.The older you get,you have to realize that others have had a life while you were having yours and it may involve children.f you can accept this,than stop looking for only women without children.You could be missing out on a great "package deal". | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/12/2009 11:40:13 PM | | Not a fan of women with children, I want my own who carry my blood, not some dead beat dad's kids. Besides, I am 22 and honestly you gotta be thick to think that around my age it is necessary to have kids, I have seen teenagers drop out of highschool cause they got pregnant (although they were idiots anyway). Kids are great, I have little cousins who I love to bits because they are adorable, but honestly people need to learn to wait. I refuse to date women who have kids, it's excess baggage and at my age I just want to have as much fun with someone as possible without having to worry about a screaming little kid. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 5:30:35 AM | I think it's dumb when people who are too old to still be "dating" complain about people who have children. No way! You're 30 and most 30 year old women have children? Get out!
Who wants to be going to their child's graduation in a wheelchair?
Seriously. Grow up. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:23:37 AM | GuitarPlayer45:
Not some dead beat dad's kids ???????? It's excess baggage ??
LMAO.. Well, you definitely showed your age there..NOT all single mom's have deadbeat ex's...in fact statistics prove that it is an extreme small percentage...3 % to be exact...
LOL
Too funny...
JB
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 10:08:42 AM | Fostec: So you saying it's dumb that I haven't settled for something I didn't really want? I didn't realize there was an age cap for being on the still "dating" scene.
I agree I do not want to be at my childs graduation in a wheelchair. Not to sound selfish and I am sorry if I do, but I want to go to MY childs graduation.
I've also explianed in my profile why I am not interested in dating a woman who has children already, it may sound selfish but it is the truth.
" I am not interested in a relationship with somebody who has children. It's not that I don't like them, children are wonderful and some day I may have some of my own. I have had relationships with women who already have children from previous relationships. While our time together was great and I experienced things I will always keep with me, I just don’t feel I am ready emotionally to risk becoming attached to children with the risk of possibly of losing them some time after" | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:11:49 AM | Women are coming down pretty hard on the OP here. Having children or getting married to the wrong person in your teens or 20s does not make you "grown up".
If the OP wants his first NOT to be with someone who has already "been there and done that" what is so wrong with that? Would he be more mature if he knocked up someone in his twenties? Women are having babies they can't even be a proper parent to with men who are not even decent father material from the start. He's not being mean or nasty about what he wants. Getting involved with someone who already has children from previous relationships makes things a heck of a lot more complicated and chaotic. Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction? | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 7:38:30 AM | It is everyone's right and opinion to be with who they want to be....
children or no children....
No one is saying any different ..BUT what IS getting people's back's up is the comments like...
Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction???
Good Grief....Why do you assume that the parents/family/kids are dysfunctional ??????
and the assumption that all families that have been split or separated are automatically non functioning families and or parents...or the fathers are automatically deadbeat Dad's or Mom's ????
Never ass u me......
Just my two cents worth.....
JB
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 10:16:56 AM |
BUT what IS getting people's back's up is the comments like...
Why should he have to step into someone else's dysfunction??
Unfortunately, that is how it is percieved... as a disfunction. It may be an incorrect way of viewing things but, you can't control other's thoughts.
I, for one, could understand such a position as I was one who engaged with a mother when I was 22 years old. Even thought there was little contact from the biological father there were still issues that had to be contended with. I was out in left field and ignored on important issues because I was not the biological father. That certainly leaves a man feeling rather unimportant and used.... especially where my assistance (financially, emotionally and physically) was insisted upon or I was considered as a "boy" not a man. The percentage of mothers who are lunatics are the ones who are ruining it for the mothers who deserve better and deserve a great guy.
As well, many of these young guys have witnessed their own parents seperate as they watched the drama unfold. Based on that alone, I think the younger guys are privy to first hand knowledge of what can happen to them if they become involved with a single parent.
It's unfair men think of mothers that way but, it's better to error on the side of safety.
On the other side of things, I know of many mothers who are wonderful people and are being ignored because they have children. It's too bad politicians listen to the loud mouths as opposed to the "real women" of reason. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:16:34 PM | | I'm just saying if everything was wonderful in the home they would still be with their spouses. Divorce (whether amicable or not) or absent fathers causes dysfuntion in the family life. To think that the remaining spouse or the children are not affected by it is definitely denial. It's not that a single mother isn't a good person and not saying they deserve the strife they go through, they just have a much harder road. I have tried dating a couple of single fathers and they either never had time for me or they had so much drama going on with ex's restraining orders and disagreements concerning the child or children. I didn't want to get in the middle of it. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:33:40 PM |
I have tried dating a couple of single fathers and........I didn't want to get in the middle of it
Not being a selfish person, I've not seriously dated because of that very issue. I felt I had enough on my table at the time and it seemed utterly senseless for me to bring someone into the situation.... it would be a poor investment for both of us.
Thank goodness the kids live with me now and all that "other" nuisance is gone. Albeit, teen daughters are as lot of drama in itself so, who knows? I certainly don't blame a woman for not wanting to get in the middle of things..... I wouldn't want to if I were in her position. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:25:25 PM |
LMAO.. Well, you definitely showed your age there..NOT all single mom's have deadbeat ex's...in fact statistics prove that it is an extreme small percentage...3 % to be exact...
LOL
Too funny...
My aunt's ex husband sure as hell is a deadbeat and they had 5 kids together, doesn't pay child support and doesn't even have a job, he is a lazy ass good for nothing bum and a scumbag to boot. The sad thing is, my aunt never finished highschool and has struggled for a long time to provide for her family. I went to school with people who now fit the deadbeat dad mould because they did stupid things and wound up getting their girlfriends pregnant, then eventually running off and leaving the women to deal with the kids. One of my best friends has a 2 year old son, but he and his wife chose to have a baby around the time they got married and they were together a good 3 years before they even moved in together. Why bring a kid into the world without parents who are committed to eachother? That isn't fair at all for a child. I am not saying that having kids at my age is a bad thing, but there sure as hell should be serious committment from the parents to support a child both financially and emotionally. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:29:10 PM | fostec, I checked your profile and you are 28. 2 more years or less before you hit the BIG 3 OH and you are still single. With your ugly attitude you are going to e single into your forties and fifties. What if a handsome (not going to happen but for the sake of argument) 35 year old man approaches you one day and wants to go out on a date? Are you going to rebuke him (rebuke meaning reject him) because he is over thirty and dating?
Most 30 year old women have children? Man, I feel sorry for all those women 30 or older who don't. According to you they failed at being a woman huh? In fact, though many women at or above the age of thirty have kids, many many of them do not.
Seriously fostec, get out of your own a$$ and grow up. | |
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| Difficult to meet people with no children
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:05:37 PM | | By 30 one would expect to have kids, I think about 26 is the right age to start having kids though, finished college/university, have a stable job and you are more then likely in a good relationship with someone. If they are going to commit to you fully then having kids is certainly a great thing, I wouldn't want to be having kids after 35 though, my cousin and her husband did it and had trouble for a long time doing it. | |
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