| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:53:37 PM | I know this theory will be met with alot of eye rolling from the men....so i guess this is more directed to women to agree or disagree with my theory.
This has really been my experience and MOST (yes MOST) of my female friends agree with me. (and yes, although I am in my sexual prime age wise----this is something I believed and experienced even in my 20's....)
Here goes----
I think that when not in relationship --- men want sex more then women. Not too say there aren't alot of horny women out there, but women dont always 'hunt' for sex the same way men do......
BUT----
I truly believe that once a man has a 'regular source of booty' and knows he can get regularly~ ITS ACTUALLY THE WOMAN WHO WANTS IT MORE OFTEN ONCE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP !!!!! I cant tell you how many of my women friends complain about not getting enough from thier men.....like men knowing they can get it whenever they want (or at least regularly) subsides thier drive and the women just cant get enough.
Now maybe I 'm just part of a very horny group of gfriends..... thats why im curious if any women out there agree or disagree with my theory....
your thoughts??? | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:01:01 PM | I turned 40 this year and have seen my sex drive free fall......and Im´ on your train that when you know you can get sex anytime from the same women.....it´s very watered down and not much spark left to it. maybe this explains why it´s in my DNA to be eternally single???? | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:08:20 PM | | One of the main differences between men and women is how they view sex. For men it's physical and women it's emotional. As far as women wanting sex more I just haven't seen that in any situation...married people, couples or whatever. I think one of the biggest reasons is women's inability to have orgasms because of the misplacement of the clitoris. Somehow our creator decided to play a prank on the ladies (or maybe somehow evolution moved it)and put their clit way too high when in reality it should be right in the opening of the vagina where the penis would hit it and orgasm would be easy. I probably wouldn't be too interested in sex either if I didn't know if I would be able to get off every time. I mean, there's never been a time when I didn't get off with a girl...one way or another. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:16:13 PM | It probably has some merit. I've only had one LTR with spectacular sex. We talked about our fantasies though and had pretty open communication there. The worst ones were the guys who felt guilty for having fantasies so wouldn't talk to you about them at all or tried to force the conversation to steer it to what they wanted by doing it under the guise of they were trying to figure out what I like.
A lot of it boils down to sexual compatibility. If you have a very strong sex drive you need to find someone else who has the same. The hard part I find is finding someone who has the same sex drive because it's not something you can tell by looking at someone. If I know because they've had so many partners, I don't want them then either. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:27:11 PM | My sex drive is high. Doesn't make me desperate but my god, a good lay and I am happy as a clam!!! I think there is a fundamental difference between the genders, but there are exceptions to both sides. My husband has a low drive, mine... overdrive (which is why I am here with his support).
I have never had a problem screwing for the sake of a screw, so although generalizations I think above are pretty much on the money, they depict more the norm. I think the more sexually aware society becomes, the more you will see men and women being a bit more upfront about what they need. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:30:46 PM | It seems that it is the guys responding even tho you wanted the girls.
Yup, the male vs female sexdrive is weird I have had the benefit of dating some great women who want sex every night (or almost) so they have finally caught up to me. LOL
That is why I love dating women over 35. As for the guy who announced the women he's with never know if they are going to get off or not. You have a tongue....fingers......they have a g spot and a clitoris. If you cannot get them off then you need alot more tutelage.
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:31:35 PM | The level of someones sex drive is so individual that you cannot make a blanket statement in regards to whos drive is stronger than anothers as a group! Whether in or out of a relationship - the level of someones drive does not change based solely on that.
There are always people available to have sex with at any given moment - for men and women - so that cannot be a barrier to getting or wanting sex either! | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:41:47 PM | Are you kidding jdriver with this statement?!
I think one of the biggest reasons is women's inability to have orgasms because of the misplacement of the clitoris. Somehow our creator decided to play a prank on the ladies (or maybe somehow evolution moved it)
Quite the opposite, most women are capable of multiple orgasms. If a woman is unable to achieve an orgasm, it's most likely due to other issues, NOT the placement of the clitoris. Or could be the man has absolutely no technique at all, lol. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 3:58:50 PM |
One of the main differences between men and women is how they view sex. For men it's physical and women it's emotional. As far as women wanting sex more I just haven't seen that in any situation...married people, couples or whatever. I think one of the biggest reasons is women's inability to have orgasms because of the misplacement of the clitoris. Somehow our creator decided to play a prank on the ladies (or maybe somehow evolution moved it)and put their clit way too high when in reality it should be right in the opening of the vagina where the penis would hit it and orgasm would be easy. I probably wouldn't be too interested in sex either if I didn't know if I would be able to get off every time. I mean, there's never been a time when I didn't get off with a girl...one way or another.
Since this asinine comment is the opposite of what I was saying i can only guess that you are doing something wrong and you dont know how to please a women.
Women can fck too and its not always about staring deep into my eyes as we make emotional love.....
My personal record in one day is 14 orgasms with my partner~ jello knees and all i could hardly walk so suffice it to say that my clitoris is in the right place....( not to mention the fact that at your age you should know that clitoral orgasms pale in comparison to the G spot which Im guessing you have never found......) | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:29:35 PM | | too bad inexperinced dudes post above seemed to de-rail the intention behind this thread.......anyone else willing to give me thier opinions? | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:36:41 PM |
For men it's physical and women it's emotional
^^ Some women have fukcbuddies coz all they want is a good fukc (nothing to do with emotions.)
the misplacement of the clitoris
^^ I had to check out your AGE when i read this ignorant comment.....
Women can have clitoral,vaginal & g-spot orgasms -- we're so damned LUCKY,
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:44:54 PM | | no i think you hit it pretty much on the head.it's a fact that a woman's libido increases as she gets older.on the other hand,if you both work to keep things interesting then its less likely he will drift away and will possibly work to make things more interesting also.....at least thats how it should work. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:45:23 PM |
I truly believe that once a man has a 'regular source of booty' and knows he can get regularly~ ITS ACTUALLY THE WOMAN WHO WANTS IT MORE OFTEN ONCE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP !!!!! I cant tell you how many of my women friends complain about not getting enough from thier men.....like men knowing they can get it whenever they want (or at least regularly) subsides thier drive and the women just cant get enough.
Now maybe I 'm just part of a very horny group of gfriends..... thats why im curious if any women out there agree or disagree with my theory....
your thoughts???
OP -- all I can say is WOW. Things must be radically different out in Quebec. Of exactly 100% of the relationships I'm privy to among my people, the entire 100% is a complete and utter polar opposite of what your theory suggests. Of these relationships, they had sex like rabbits all the time in the beginning, but once it matured into a relationship (and beyond, like marriage), it's the MEN that are the ones barking about their women no longer lettin' them get a crack at the biscuit. These men do everything in their power to persuade their lovers to engage in sex, and if they're lucky, they'll get it maybe once every couple weeks.
Some were smart and dumped their SO for no longer puttin' out, and others are parked in misery, remaining faithful to their "vows" despite getting callouses on their hands from the only sexual outlet they have left, which is masturbation.
So with all due respect, I call bullshit on your logic. It's your right to have an opinion and share it, but from my own personal observations, I can't find any evidence to support it or substantiate it in any way.
Like I said, I guess things must be radically different out in Quebec.
C'est la vie.
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:18:36 PM | I think the OP is right - as far as what I've noticed from my own personal experience. Having sex with someone I don't have a relationship is risky - too many worries and doubt swirling around in the back of my mind to really enjoy sex as much. I like the safety, comfort, and security of a relationship to know the man is like having my very own personal sex toy to have any time I want. I have noticed that the men who claim to have the highest libidos are usually a disappointment after they are in a relationship and I usually want it much more than they do. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:00:09 PM | I agree to a point.
Men have a biological need/drive for consistent sex. When a man is single this means getting out to the bar and "hunting" for it. It usually doesnt matter to the man if its with a long term partner or not, as long as she is sexually attractive to him.
Women on the other hand have a diffrent mating strategy for obvious biological reasons. Women have a "lover" switch for sex and a "provider" switch for sex.
the lover switch is when she is exposed to an alpha male (this can be a couple of times in her life or perhaps several hundred if she is really attractive and lives in a big city)
the provider switch is when she is in a comitted relationship with a man. She THEN has a urning for sex on a regular basis.
So in short, men have a need for 'one night stands' more, and women want sex possibly more when in a relationship. It all depends on which man and women you are looking at - some men need sex every day, others once a week. of course age is a factor in all this too.
hope that helps.
If you are interested I can reccomend 10 or 15 books. I own about 40 on the topic, so i have read alot about it.
peace and love. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:08:48 AM | To the OP:
I think it's more simple than how you put it. Men are in their prime from puberty to their mid 20's. For some men.. it's longer..but generally speaking.. that's the age of their prime. When they're young, vibrant, more carefree...etc. It's almost as if God made them that way to ensure the human race..."Go out and reproduce"!!
Women, on the other hand, are in their prime in their mid to late 30's... into their late 40's..and later. Why is this? Women are the caretakers of children for the most part...maybe God (or whatever source you believe in) created the unbalanced scale to ensure we were more attentive to our young children?
I know if I'd been in my prime in my 20's and early 30's...it would have seriously been a conflict of interest.. taking care of the kids..and craving sex all the time. Also... if men are producing babies in their prime.. the odds are they are more physically capable of taking care of them....I mean to say.. they're in better shape to work harder, then most men in their 40's.
By the time most men are in their late 30's or 40's...their roles in life have changed....they have must higher demands in life.. work, families.. lack of money, stress that can completely affect one's sex drive. At this same time.. their normal levels of testosterone naturally decrease.
When women hit thier prime, most of their children are older, requiring less attention and the need to be with them 24/7. Most women in thier 40's don't have toddlers...which require a LOT of attention and direction... a mood killer for most women..as well as men I'm sure.
God (insert religious preference here) enabled us (Women) to have multiple orgasms as a balance to the scale of bearing children, having a period and trying to keep up with the 50 zillion things (including a spouse or partner that wants/demands sex) most women have to juggle if they're married and have children in their 20's and 30's.
Most of the time.. when I hear that women don't want sex as much after they're married..it's always the same... THE KIDS.. either the demand is too high (from the kids) or their hormones have changed since the birth of their children, and it's just not the same.....again.. who do you think is responsible for that? (insert religious preference here).
On the other hand.. most women that I talk to who complain about their men not wanting sex as often, also have financial problems, the men in their life are stressed out..working harder..and more tired. This does create quite a quandry...as about this same time.. women are entering into their prime.
That's just my opinion..and of course..I realize there are always exceptions... but for the most part..that's what I've found out.
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| I agree
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:32:45 AM |
ITS ACTUALLY THE WOMAN WHO WANTS IT MORE OFTEN ONCE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP
I agree with you; I find that sex with the same woman rapidly gets boring over time. | |
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| My theory on the male vs female sex drive
Posted: 12/8/2008 6:34:46 AM | I don't know. It might be that way, I do hear a lot of women complaining about it. But I just wonder if it's my age group. Women my age want more, and the men they are with (if they are in the same age group) just seem to lose interest or something? I am not one of the ones complaining, mind you. I get as much as I want. LOL
Maybe THAT is why most of the men in my age group on POF (in my town anyway) are looking for girls in their 20s, because they don't want to try to keep up with women their own age. LOL! | |
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| I agree
Posted: 12/8/2008 6:42:35 AM | If sex with the same person rapidly gets boring, you should figure out what you are doing wrong. I was married for 18 years to the same person, and the about the ONLY good thing I can say about that marriage was that the sex life never got boring.
I am now in my LAST permanent relationship, and I don't see us ever being bored with each other either. | |
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| I agree
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:01:16 AM | Lovin the feedback.....keep it cuming :)
Tabitha--
I agree with most of what you are saying and am very aware of cruel joke of not having the same prime as men....
However, this was apparent to me even in my 20's when sapposidly men were in thier prime too....maybe they just breed us women in mtl hornier to help us stay warm for those long winter nights :).
Spoken for--- I wish we could say that all men over 35 were looking for women in thier 20's merely to have compatible sex lives and I do agree with you that if both partners are open for ongoing experimentation (whatever that means to you--- it could include role playing, toys or inviting someone to join in...) that sex with the same partner will always be more fulfilling then someone new. Ok, I know that the rush of being with someone new is exciting ....new touch, taste and smells----but alot of that rush has to do with the ' not knowing if its a sure thing' and goes back to the male hunting desire we spoke about..... | |
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| B.S.
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:28:35 AM | I'll say to those women who complain about lack of sex "go home, after dinner, drop your kneel in front of your SO, and give him a B.J. and have your way with your S.O.", most male would welcome the sex. On the other hand if a guy does that to his S.O. some women would push him away and say they had a headache or not in the mood.
OP, how many times have you said to your S.O. that you wanted to have sex with him directly on average? | |
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