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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:00:49 AM | I have just watched a programme on cable television about getting older and how we really feel about it........and it scared the crap out of me.
Its happening to us all and there is no way to stop it, sure we can all do the best we can to delay it but eventually we are all going to be old.
It got me to thinking that im actually terrified, not of getting old but of looking old. Im the sad one in the shops who see's the beauty product that claims to be anti-ageing and it has to go in my trolley. I am the self professed botox junkie and if I had endless finances then I reckon I would go the whole hog. Im the one who gave up smoking purely because it gives you wrinkles......damaged lungs....pfft so what!
So am I unusual? Or is this normal?
How do you really feel about getting older and looking older?
Can you honestly say it doesn't bother you? Or is that just a front for how you really feel about your ageing self?
And lastly what are your 'Anti-ageing secrets'? What have you done or used to try and prevent ageing and has it worked?
Do tell.....I need all the secrets I can get! | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:07:14 AM | You can only be yourself....., everyone else is taken.
Grow heaps of Aloe Vera...., drink it, eat it, bath in it, and you know what else in it....,
go crazy, embalm yourself in it.  | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:14:27 AM | Its happening to us all and there is no way to stop it, sure we can all do the best we can to delay it but eventually we are all going to be old.
Exactamente! But you know Hilly if you, one of the most attractive that is currently posting here feel this way, what hope is there for the rest of us? To be honest, I find that people who can lighten up are the most youthful looking and without sounding like am patronising this question, you are one of the best examples of it. And without sounding like a sleazebag, I actually find you very very attractive especially with RM Williams boots and no socks on.
I guess from us blokes, we kind of not worry about it too much (because we're naturally complacent). | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:19:50 AM | Well Hilly.......What can I say......mixed feelings but in general....who cares...
Life is what you make of it.....It's your (I don't mean you personally) attitude that determines how you feel & look to others........We all need fitness to stay healthy & to retard the aging............We need to give up the coffin nails.........We need to keep a young healthy attitude to life.........BUT.....we don't need Botox..........That's for the "cop-outs" in this world....look at Michael Jackson.....look at Emmi Lou Harris.....coupled with Nip Tuck.....they look shocking when viewed in the natural.
I bopped till I dropped recently at a Black Sorrows Gig.....the legs ached......the bellie was sore......(lots of unfamiliar movements) but I had the best night I'd had in 10 years & people have told me lately that I look younger than I did 5 years ago (grey hair excempt) because I have changed my general attitude.................50 only a month away......bring it on, I say.
Drop the Botox idea.........please.
Phil | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:46:12 AM | Hilly, the aging issue is something that can get you down at times, but if you're busy enjoying your life, I don't think you even notice.
I've never been on eto recall an event and tie it in with a date or age.
I agree with the others, drop the botox as you don't really need it, and since you gave up smoking and put a couple of kilos on in the right places, you're a dead set spunk, even if you don't think so.
Mind you, I have seen you first thing in the morning and I might advise at least a smattering of product......LOL....But then, I may have looked a little worse for wear myself..!!!!..lol....
As Phil said, just enjoy it, don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy yourself and what you're doing.
And as we discussed the other week also, some things even get better with age, and you have a different mindset as you age. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 5:33:55 AM | Why is it assumed that if you care about what you look like you mustn't be enjoying your life? I really don't think the one has to do with the other. What? Nobody else ever spares a passing thought to the spare tyre around the belly or the lines on the face that weren't there a few years ago? I don't think Hilly is saying she spends 24 hours a day agonising.
Hilly! Mate! It is so politically incorrect to admit to caring about how you look. Haven't you learned that yet? We're meant to leap out of bed and look naturally stunning and scoff at the very idea of putting any effort in...and we certainly don't reveal that we might have tried to improve our own appearance. Only to close friends. And our partners get to see the various beauty routines...although I know one woman who hid the fact that she bleached her facial hair from her husband for years.
Anti-wrinkle creams are not left out on display in the bathroom. Stars deny having had botox. And ever noticed how if you walk in to most ladies loos, and if there is a woman checking her face or hair in the mirror, she will stop and act like she wasn't preening when you walk in? It's just not done to be seen to primp. We're meant to embrace what nature gives (and takes away), rely on our own inner beauty, and know that the good people of the world will only ever judge us by who we are as people... despite social experimentation always showing it is actually quite the contrary.
I've had men point out photos in magazines that they consider the "natural look" they like in women. In fact, I've heard make-up artists say that it takes longer to create a "natural" look than it does a 'made up' one. It takes more skill. As you age the true natural look comes with eye bags, sleep creases, blemishes, grey hair, furry teeth, and sagging bits. People are welcome to embrace that if they wish, but personally I see nothing wrong in wanting to improve things a little and counter the effects of age.
In the name of honesty, I will admit that I want to hang onto some sort of youthful appearance and that it takes a bit of maintenance to keep age at bay. I won't pretend not to care just to avoid being called vain....call away. Throughout my 20's I was willing to spend the money on Clarins products. I dye my greys. I use whitening toothpaste to counteract the tea and ciggies. I moisturise my skin. The frown lines I developed on my forehead after my husband died, I eventually got botoxed when I was 38. It took years of stress off my face and I loved it. Now I get the lines around my eyes done whenever the budget allows. It doesn't take them all away and I am sensible about it. I don't want to try to look 20 again, but neither do I want to look 50 when I am 40.
And in defence of botox...trust me, plenty more women out there are having it done than will ever admit to it because of the social stigma. I find that when I admit to it to others in a private conversation, they come clean too. You'd never know unless you saw the before/after shot. It's only those who go overboard with it who end up looking weird and frozen. And it's a damn sight cheaper than buying Clarins products.
Good genes are a blessing. Keeping your face out of the sun. Good quality sunnies. I also find an apple a day gives me shiny hair and glowing skin....when my rapidly aging brain remembers to buy apples. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:04:50 AM | My anti-aging secrets? Late nights and smoking work for me. And reckless promiscuity too, not so much for the rejuvenating effect but because it's such fun and fits perfectly with the other two.
If you can find someone to laugh at every day it's really good too. Not for them I guess, but just try to be discrete in case they don't have a sense of humour.
I feel the same way about getting old as I do about most important things. I don't give a bugger.
Besides, there are far more important things to concern yourself with... though I'm not concerned about them either.
I'm actually committed to the idea of living forever!
I figure I'll either achieve it (quietly confident) or die in the attempt. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:44:34 AM |
I have just watched a programme on cable television about getting older and how we really feel about it........and it scared the crap out of me.
Do tell.....I need all the secrets I can get!
I've got one, it's really simple....stop watching television! | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:08:55 AM | You watched on cable TV how SOME people feel about getting old and that SCARED YOU...oh boy the best advice was already given...stop watching crap on TV and start using your brain...(no insult intended)
Yes, getting old does happen, what's more it happens now and it did happen since the down of time...but getting old gracefully (and painlessly) happens only to the luckiest of us.
You are talking about phenomenon inseparably tied to the human nature and you are SCARED of it....what's next being scared of living or being human at all?
How do I feel about it...fine, of course I take care of myself but I invest much more care in the life itself, and if the pretty (botox or not) face is all u are hanging on to in life ...well sooner or later u will be left empty handed.
All the best in your quest for everlasting youth
Lyliet
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:51:38 AM | I don't think Hilly is saying she spends 24 hours a day agonising.
No, only 23. I take an hour off per day or all the worry gives me wrinkles.
I guess from us blokes, we kind of not worry about it too much (because we're naturally complacent).
I think more men worry about it then people realise actually, its just not a "man" thing to admit to. Where would Ashley and Martin be if it wasnt for old men trying to look younger?.....hmm on second thoughts are they still in business!!
You are talking about phenomenon inseparably tied to the human nature and you are SCARED of it....
Umm yeah and I do believe im not the only one.
Death is a phenomenon inseperably tied to the human race but many people are scared of that too. Telling me to start using my brain.....pfft, not even worth a response.
Hilly! Mate! It is so politically incorrect to admit to caring about how you look.
So it seems. I just dont see getting older as the excuse to look like shit that many people seem to use it as. If caring how I look makes me vain and a crappy person then so be it .Personally I reckon the only people who truly dont care about this are the cosmetically challenged ones anyway....maybe they know no better!
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 12 | |
| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:10:09 AM |
Umm yeah and I do believe im not the only one.
You're far from the only one. You are simply one of the few willing to admit it, because as you're reading...it's tantamount to social suicide in the eyes of some. (and I stupidly got in the car with you, Thelma...)
I was also thinking...some people seem to put 'wanting to fight aging' down to lack of confidence, but perhaps being willing to admit to some degree of personal vanity is in itself evidence of confidence. Being willing to open yourself up to scrutiny is always character building
Funny how at times it's assumed that giving a sh1t, so much as mentioning it, equals obsession.
No, only 23. I take an hour off per day or all the worry gives me wrinkles.
Actually forget I spoke. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:27:02 AM | Hilly
I am truly sorry if you misapprehended my post so it sounded insulting as it was not meant to be so.
In short what I wanted to say is that...of course no one ever wanted to get old (wrinkles, pain, disease, luck of vigor and all the rest included) but the thing is we all will one day (unless we die first) and thusly old age, once it comes, should be taken gracefully, having something other then our 'good looks’ that will fulfill our lives when that time comes.
With all the help we can get to postpone it in the mean time of course ;)
Lyliet
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:34:52 AM | I hear drinking red wine is the elixer of youth & also good for you - so just dropped into the bottleshop to stock, stock, stock up .....ooops hiccup | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:54:18 AM | Hilly... aging sux. No doubt about it.... We can't change it, and just have to go with it, but it still sux.
I have a healthy respect for science... (I'd have been dead at 22 without it)... so I figure milk it for all ya can... go the botox, silicone implants, lifts, nips, tucks, whatever the heck you can afford... If you feel better for it, then party hard.
If you can't afford it, then just hang with young minded folks.. who like a laugh, appreciate laughter lines, and aren't scared of aging disgracefully.
No point living in fear... especially of ourselves. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 4:40:03 PM | ah Hilly the posters are right, you are way too pretty to worry...
I'll be happy if the body lasts the distance before I wear it out lol!!! Who cares what it looks like by then!!
for your: "what are your 'Anti-ageing secrets'? What have you done or used to try and prevent ageing and has it worked?"
for me age is an attitude and I am way still a teenager .. in all honesty if i had an anti aging routine I'd say - stress and sheer neglect - bite off more than you can chew, then chew like crap, laugh loud and often and forget about anything that won't matter in fifty years, say yes to the universe and instead of trying to 'preserve' your years.. live them, that's what they're here for.
the oldest looking people my age I know sit home watching tv and worrying about crap that really doesn't matter.
Sometimes to me the anti aging thing is upside down, it's a bit like some who have a dream house, but don't actually 'live' in it - trying to keep it pristine all the time.
the body is only the means of transport, and the face, well a smile that reaches all the way to the eyes can put beauty into even the craggiest of skins - have you ever seen those beautiful photos of the toothless smiles of really old people with twinkling eyes that just makes you want to sit with a glass of wine and listen to their life's tales... I wanna age like that.... that's if I ever stop bopping around like a teenager lol!! | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 5:07:54 PM |
And lastly what are your 'Anti-ageing secrets'?
Happiness and love!! Smiling, laughing, being surrounded by wonderful, caring, sweet, funny and loving people.
My grandmother is the perfect example of growing old gracefully. She's 94 and has the skin of a much younger woman. The only thing she used to do was put egg whites on her skin (kind of like a mask), I used to giggle when she did that but hey maybe it helped. Maybe people should try that rather than injecting poison into themselves?? Both my parents look amazing for their age, and neither of them have had any "work" done, their beautiful souls shine through on their faces and light up their eyes.
I truly don't understand why people are so worried about laugh lines, frown lines etc etc, these are the signs that we've lived life! From what I've seen, the people (women particularly) that are running around getting botox injections, nips and tucks etc are the same women who are "muttons dressed as lamb" .... desperately clinging to their youth, when in fact what they're doing makes them look old and sad.
Embrace who you are and what you look like, go and rent the movie Shirley Valentine!! | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 5:49:52 PM | Things all just start getting a little more finite.
The day that comes when you finally exit this world roams a little bit closer.
When I was 20 something the days that were in between that time and the present were infinite.
Now they start getting a little more finite. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:25:45 PM | I prefer the Dylan Thomas take on aging.
Do not go gentle into that good night...blah blah blah
Getting old is the pits and I don't mind admitting that i hate to see my body deteriorating when i step out of the shower and see my reality in the mirror.
As others above have inferred Hilly, you have a fantastic gift of insight, touched with the appropriate amount of sarcasm.
So get out there and rage, rage against the dying of the light...and give old father time a good kick in the nuts, just because he deserves it. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:43:26 PM | Thwowing myself into the fway now! Never posted here.
Having been largely formed & shaped in the hippy camps (which can be as pressure filled as the popular or conservative nurseries of teenage life...) I still have residual drives to do life "naturally" where ever possible, though have moved away from any extremes.. So I tend not to do things like (shall I confess....? squirm, shuffle... I only wax my "bits" (including legs) a few times a year... I'm lucky being a red head, any fur is generally not very visible or behaves well... I suspect if I were a dark haired lass I would want to learn to enjoy the ritual like (? El spanish sounding man with a good deal of wit?) with his shaving thing.
& again I am very lucky since most folk think I look a ton younger than I am... I suspect most of the folk here are right about the concept of doing what you love & having a jolly good time about life wherever possible... that it makes you more beautiful if not apealing at least. (Seems to me everyone on this thread has that one pretty sussed) ... & not caring as much either I think.. I used to think I was the ugliest thing in the world, growing up with curly red hair, very uncool in 70's 80's... & palish skin etc. Nothing anyone said to convince me could make me be happy about it... being more happy about it now makes me ... well happy!!!! & probably more apealing if that's the ideal.
Ahh but the thing I wanted to know... 2 of them actually (greedy) .... A) always had a healthy cynicism for most "beauty products" they charge a fortune for what really gets rubbed into skin that is already dead (did you know that everything we can actually see on eachother is already dead.. there you go!!!) I see dead people!!! SO I'd like to ask the forum.. does anyone have any experience with a product that has actually done what it said it would?......
& B) A while ago after a wrestling session with my fantastic 12 YO (probably over the last bit of chocky which was then most likely the object which one of us was trying to stick up the nostril of the other... Note... might be a good beauty tip there... place chocky up nose instead of in mouth!!!!). His head in my lap he announced "mum, you're beginning to get a moustache!" I tried to remain calm, thinking... it's just the angle it'll be ok!!! Anyway, here's the clanger, after pawing through the yellow pages for permanent hair removal (Ooh.. didn't want to be getting a 9 o'clock shadow) I discovered that electrolysis has been superceded by Laser treatment & as a natural red head laser treatment doesn't work (blonds also... the laser needs a darker pigment)... so am I doomed to develop a hairy lip as I grow older??? I waxed it once recently & ended up with a spotty upper lip a few days later (just before a performance... woohoo, very sexy!).
Is that a fair trade Hilly I gave you one good beauty tip (where does the chocky go?) can you save me from getting a hairy lip?
Another good beauty tip might be to go about with ones head in the clouds, softens life considerably, might make one a bit soggy though... prune skin might ensue if one indulges too long.
I do beleive we all have shames & anxieties about all this stuff... either for beginning to deteriorate or for doing something about it... there's no right/wrong answer.. just what works for you... but I reckon the more honest we get, the more we liberate each other about the fact that it's going on for everyone & we need not feel we are eeejits for being worried about it or for doing something to combat it.
Cloudbursting (god I'm verbose... sorry!) ..... Ohhh but I really have to add this cos it's so pertinent ... My photo here... (never been a hairdressor girl, they have no idea how to manage my wild coif) a few months ago I found a hairdressor who used organic/natural stuff... I got some bits of my hair bleached... partly to facilitate the transition (since some of the white hairs have begun buddying up & hanging out together in a strategic spot... right where I part my hair (if you can call it that since it generally makes up it's own mind). the pic was to show that to a friend.. my new stringy white bits... ah we find ways to get around (& laugh at) our own degradation. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:05:30 PM | Well, Still dreaming, I reckon that's about the best post so far... just because we hate getting old and fear the approach of death doesn't mean we spend our whole lives worrying about it, it just means it will inspire us to put it off for as long as possible.
As for all these platitudes, cliches and euphemisms about laugh lines, beauty and happiness coming from with-in and 'your only as young as the woman your feeling' (Oscar wild)...well, they're all fine, but what's wrong with working on the outside as well as the inside.
I agree with BA (as much as I hate to admit it); I reckon either way is good, I find the women that use lots of beauty treatments to pamper themselves are just as sexy and attractive as the hairy arm pitted, wild haired hippy types... it's all about what makes you comfortable, happy and confident with yourself.
Personally I admire Hilly for admitting to her fears (and uttering the 'B' word)...and posting them on a public forum shows a huge amount of courage and self confidence. I'm sure, as Naamah said, Hilly doesn't spend every waking hour stressing about her looks... it's only one small aspect of her life.
Speaking of botox, some of them hair dye and hairspray chemicals are toxic when you inhale them and get them on your skin, and I have yet to read of any serious side effects if it's used correctly...tho I'm sure someone will post a list now.
Males; I think it's great to see my daughters boyfriend spending almost as much time as she does putting on product, cleaning and grooming himself, shows he takes pride in his appearance and himself.
Honestly I think the single worst thing about beauty treatments is the huge number of animals that have been killed and tortured through vivisection .
...and while I'm being honest and lighthearted; I've met both Hilly and Naamah quite a few times and they're both as ugly as a bag full off hammers, so no amount of injections nips, tucks, sucks (mmm sucks) or implants are gonna' do them one iota of good | |
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Naamah
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Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 22 | |
| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:47:27 PM |
Getting old is the pits and I don't mind admitting that i hate to see my body deteriorating when i step out of the shower and see my reality in the mirror.
I admire that kind of rare honesty more than the tendency to deflect and avoid the topic by talking about other things like inner beauty and happiness. Lovely and happy people still droop and crease. It's just a fact. Sure, other stuff might matter more in the scheme of life, but it's still part of the human condition to notice, and perhaps feel something about the physical changes age brings.
Message 20: Brilliant debut post I thought. (and Welcome!)
does anyone have any experience with a product that has actually done what it said it would? The hit rate isn't high, but after buying every product on the entire planet during my younger years I found four that did what they were meant to do. They are the only ones I still buy. The rest is marketing hype. (PS: botox does exactly what it's meant to. )
what's wrong with working on the outside as well as the inside
Exactly right. Nothing wrong with aspiring to look, feel and be as good as you can. No need for us average folk to assume that the beautiful people can't be equally as beautiful on the inside simply because we weren't blessed with their looks.
Personally I admire Hilly for admitting to her fears (and uttering the 'B' word)...and posting them on a public forum shows a huge amount of courage and self confidence. Hear hear. (or is it here here)...whatever...
She opened herself up for people to sink the boot in...some took the opportunity to do just that (and aren't women often the harshest judges of other women), some didn't. Meh. Hilly is gorgeous with or without botox, but she feels better with it. And how she feels about her having botox matters more than how other people feel about her having botox.
the single worst thing about beauty treatments is the huge number of animals that have been killed and tortured through vivisection Agreed. I regret not developing an ethical conscience about that sooner.
I've met both Hilly and Naamah quite a few times and they're both as ugly as a bag full off hammers Remind me to bring a hammer with me when I turn up tonight, Julian X. | |
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Rob_SA
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 23 | |
| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:55:00 PM | | I hate the idea of being old, but I hate the idea of being old and alone more, and I hate the idea of being dead the most. When I was going through cardiac rehab for congestive heart failure back in 2000 one of my fellow patients said to me that old age looks great when you consider the alternative. As the priest on comedy company used to say "I think there's something in that for all of us. Don't you?" | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:00:55 PM | So get out there and rage, rage against the dying of the light...and give old father time a good kick in the nuts, just because he deserves it.
still dreaming........Could not have put it better myself. Awesome words and I intend to do just that
Cloudbursting.....welcome to the forums, I hope your stay is long and happy. As for this....
can you save me from getting a hairy lip? Possibly not as I have no experience with fuzzy lips (Did I really say that?) but im sure it was just the angle.
Honestly I think the single worst thing about beauty treatments is the huge number of animals that have been killed and tortured through vivisection .
Too true Julian but if you are prepared to spend time researching your choices there are some awesome cruelty free products out there. My personal fave is a range called MiEssence, organic botanicals and cruelty free.
I've met both Hilly and Naamah quite a few times and they're both as ugly as a bag full off hammers,
Coming from the Toe Monster thats funny!
From what I've seen, the people (women particularly) that are running around getting botox injections, nips and tucks etc are the same women who are "muttons dressed as lamb" .... desperately clinging to their youth, when in fact what they're doing makes them look old and sad. Must remember not to team the botox with the pu$$y pelmet and thigh high boots in future!!
Ouch and double ouch. To a certain extent I agree with you,but there is a whole world of difference between sensibly tweaking what nature gave you and doing the whole Jocelyn Wildenstein thing and I think everyone knows that.
Each to their own I guess and the only beauty tip I can give anyone (besides botox) which does really,really work is sleep and plenty of it.........but not lying on your face cos it will crease. | |
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| How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:10:36 PM | I think Audrey Hepburn said it best 
# For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.
# For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.
# For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry.
# For beautiful hair, Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
# For poise, Walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
# People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
# Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
# As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
# The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
# The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.
# And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!
Peace
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