| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 4:01:54 AM | Have you ever had a selfish lover? What were your experiences?
What is your definition of a selfish lover?
Just curious on hearing other peoples' experiences.......sorry this is so short.... | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 4:21:20 AM | for me a selfish lover is someone who wants you to do everything but in return they don't do the same, its about pleasing them only.
Yes, I have been with one. She didn't believe in going down but expected me to do this for her all the time.. I would but not everytime and told her why and how I felt about it, if she expects a man to please her that way a little in return would be nice | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:14:17 AM | Yup, I've been with a selfish lover! He wanted it to be all about him every single time. Used to almost demand that I pleasure him orally, and he NEVER did it for me. He never cared if I was satisfied, as long as he was...it was awful. And I put up with it for WAY too long. Wouldn't do it again!
However, luckily, the men I have been with since, have been more then eager to please...so I think he was the exception. I think most men enjoy pleasing their women! (Well at least I'd LIKE to think so...LOL).
Chick.  | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:17:48 AM | In my 20's it was all about me...
In my 40's it's all about her first! | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:18:37 AM | | i have had the same experience myself along with the other end of the spectrum...........my first hubby wanted sex all the time and if he didn't get it then it would be an argument for a half hour as to why and after i gave him sex i thought to my self stupid stupid stupid......if you just had sex in the first place you could've been sleeping a half hour ago.............lol | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 6:30:53 AM | I love to give pleasure and receive it.
A selfish lover is someone who only cares about thier own satisfaction.
I have had only two selfish lovers and they hit the bricks pretty damn quick! | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 1:05:06 PM | I've had a selfish lover, but most of the time they enjoy giving too.
I want to be completely and totally selfish ...... just once ... or maybe twice lol | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 3:17:58 PM | The idea of just being the willing victim .....mmm.
Are men really a life support system for there dic?
When hormones are flying ,you can have lotsa fun.
If a guy is used and abused here I think he really dosn’ t mind .
Greedy can be good if you take turns at being greedy . | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 3:19:33 PM | webbum....did you stay celibate for your 30's?????????????
I've been with men who just want to get a bj and be done with it..needless to say,,, I didn't do it and told them good luck finding someone who would. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 3:22:32 PM | The idea of just being the willing victim .....mmm.
Yeah... that's what I want.... someone who will just take me when I want them to, and ... well... you know lol .... I'm petite... easy to flip and move and turn ..... just do me!!!
LMAO..... I so need to get laid....
I want to be selfish but he'll enjoy it too lol  | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 6/21/2005 3:29:12 PM | | Im on Da plane ......ticket .....yahoooooo..Im a turnin red big time ..... blushing lol. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:58:34 PM | I am with a selfish lover for the first time ever.
I give him head usually once a day, sometimes more. In the year and a half we've been together, how many times has he done the same? Zero.
And foreplay! Ha! He says he doesn't enjoy it, so he doesn't want to do it. Which is precisely why I've stopped "servicing" him. Initially, I thought it would get better, but after a nice little argument an hour or so ago, I realizing that it won't.
And he wonders why I've never had an orgasm (or even come close) with him... | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:33:27 PM | well i think everyone has been with a selfish lover at one point or another. this is a person who only wants to be pleased and doesn't really think about the 2nd party during the deed. i have been with numerous partners who were like this. they want to get off and they don't think about how the other person is doing or if they are or not. they want all the pleasure and do not wanna return the favor. a lot of guys will not care if they have made their partner get off or not they just will make sure they do... they will expect oral but never give it. stuff like that | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:13:00 AM |
I give him head usually once a day, sometimes more. In the year and a half we've been together, how many times has he done the same? Zero.
And foreplay! Ha! He says he doesn't enjoy it, so he doesn't want to do it. Which is precisely why I've stopped "servicing" him. Initially, I thought it would get better, but after a nice little argument an hour or so ago, I realizing that it won't.
And he wonders why I've never had an orgasm (or even come close) with him...
pack your bags missy! | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:28:09 AM | my definition of a selfish lover would be...*bang, bang, bang, bang!!!...im cuming, im cuming, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
...*rolls over, and finally falls asleep snoring heavily for a couple of hours*
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 6:13:51 AM | | I was with a selfish lover last year but she was totally aware of it and used to make jokes about how, with previous lovers, she'd lay on the bed and read while they had sex with her. She preferred 'lazy lover' as opposed to 'selfish'. To me it felt as if I was spending my time with a ragdoll. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:03:45 AM | | In the late eighties I dated a gal who would have sex with me and then push me off of her as soon as she got her rocks off, whether I was done or not. After the second time I told her she could go buy a vibrator if she needed to get off, I was not going to help anymore. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:05:46 AM | | Someone who really only wants oral sex because anything else is too much effort, but if he really can't convince you to do it for the pure pleasure it gives you when he is unwilling to give anything back, will use your vagina as a masturbation tool instead. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:03:13 PM | Know one? I was with one for 10 years. The handful of times I got laid every year were ALWAYS about her. And yes, as a few posters have mentioned, as soon as she got off she'd ask me if I was almost done bc she needed to sleep or was sore or she had a headache. I'd say I only came about twice a year with her. 2 out of 6 ain't bad, right?! Maybe if we are calculating batting averages it isn't.
I honestly believed during that period that maybe it was me. Maybe I was a lousy lover. The first girl I slept with after our marriage ended, as well as each and every girl since, has reinforced my beliefs that THAT was not the case and she was just selfish. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:11:19 PM | Every man i have ever been with has been selfish in bed, i have yet to experience sumone who will pleasure me first and foremost.....i dated this one guy for a long time, who enjoyed receiving oral sex for at least an hour sometimes two hours before we would do the deed....he said that the head game was sooo good, i think it was an excuse for him to always be the one gettin off, it sucked
carly | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:20:02 PM | Re the Opost
Yes, quite a few. Only interested in their orgasms or wanting sex at the most inappropriate of times.
Re post 20 as it relates to the Opost
"Every man i have ever been with has been selfish in bed, i have yet to experience sumone who will pleasure me first and foremost....."
I thought the idea was "common pleasure".
"i dated this one guy for a long time, who enjoyed receiving oral sex for at least an hour sometimes two hours before we would do the deed...."
Wow, kudos! Very committed! No joking!
"he said that the head game was sooo good, i think it was an excuse for him to always be the one gettin off, it sucked"
I agree. 1-2 hours of head is way and above the call of duty, for any woman!!!
Sex/love making is a collaborative "thing". Like rowing together "up the river"!
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:31:06 PM | I am a Giver... a Pleaser..and a very good Lover I have been told.... all about my partner... I thought that was okay until I met my match.
Another Giver, a Pleaser who did not allow me to Give to him....it was all about me for 3 days..... he did incredible things to me....for me... by day 4 I was ready to tear him apart...and reciprocate for how good he made me feel.
Now I know that I am allowed to Recieve...that I want to be Pleased and be teased, and pleasured thoroughly..... just like I do to for my partner.
I recall telling this Lover that he ruined me for all others after him!... lol...seriously....because now I want it to be about me.....well half of the time at least.
Fair is fair.
damn that Aussie knew his way 'Downunder' | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 6:50:04 PM | msg. 15 hit it right on the head. It's the wham bam thank you maam.... thinking nothing but about themselves, never making sure that she gets her "o" at least once. Older men are more considerate in this area although some of the younger fellas fall into this catagory. It should be about pleasing each other.... well unless it's an agreed quicky. | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/26/2008 9:48:28 PM | Damn i had all but one be a selfish lover
Im trying to get a hold of him/get him back... if possible..
and the definition: him him him. Why am i even there? | |
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| Selfish Lovers
Posted: 3/27/2008 4:17:49 PM | 4realgurl,
I got ya beat!how 'bout 4 hours fer oral?!
Tell me if you think she was selfish............
She was sitting on the steps , in her walk up,
wearing one of my white shirts [only] 70s style with the oversize
collars. One button to stop me. It's 4 P.M.
Grinning as I scooped her up, we made it no further than the couch.
8P.M. and she finally stopped torturing me!!!
Through all the laughter, she just LOVED to see it OBEYING her,
like a COBRA!!
4A.M. We drifted off to sleep!
[with 2 more hours of oral atwixt midnight & 2 A.M.]
Sheesh! She was selfish!! | |
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