| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:04:34 PM | I have a somewhat odd question. I have discovered, in the past year, that I really like to be on top and can orgasm quite easily that way, most of the time.
THerefore, of course, it's something I have tried with, well, all of the partners I've had. (no it's not that high of a number).
Some of them seem to really like it, and 1 came with me when I was on top.
But *some* of them have gotten soft when I've been on top, which to me probably means they don't like that position or it doesn't work for them? Or what?
This has happened for sure with 3 different guys now. One of average size, one above average in size, one less than average in size.
WHY????????
Can anyone, guy or girl, shed light on what is happening? Is it something I am doing?
I cant' figure out why it is only a problem for some guys and not others. And I"m not talking about like "it's not their orgasming position". I mean, literally, they have gotten soft and the erection was gone.
Are any of you guys brave enough to share your experiences with how it *feels* when you are in a girl and she is on top (facing you, not reverse)???? I don't do the bop up and down thing. More of a sliding back and forth...goal being to hit the G spot, of course.
I like the position because I have the control in this case to move him inside where it feels really good and with a guy who likes it enough to stay hard, it means I orgasm easily. But if he goes soft, then that means that position basically has to be thrown out, which sucks for me.
Thanks, if you have any insight. This has been nagging at the back of my mind awhile and decided I'd see if anyone could share the whys...or perhaps a solution besides giving up the position?
ETA: Just to clarify, the guys I am thinking of where clearly turned and enjoying the sex in general...only had a problem in that one position. So it's not like they were soft b/c not in the mood.
Kaylie | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:10:32 PM | | Could be something to do with blood flow when they are laying on their back? Thats the only reason I could think of, however i'm not a doctor and could be talking absolute rubbish. | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:13:37 PM | I think you might need to alternate between the "bop" up and down and the "slide" back and forth.
For most men it's the friction of going in and out of the vagina that stimulates to the point of ejaculation. That's what feels best. I've had to REALLY concentrate before on maintaining when a girl took too long doing the "slide" because there's no friction on the penis but more on the pelvic bone in the front. But if she just alternates every once in a while with the old in-and-out; no problems.  | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:19:10 PM | whats not to like ... girl on top is my favorite position .... if anything I stay harder because I can lay there and just enjoy watching my woman ride me and concentrate on flexing my abdominal mussels ..pumping more blood into my equipment ...and feeling her insides with every flex .... one tip when he is on bottom let him just lay there and hold the mussels tight while she slides back and forth ... however when the woman is on bottom it helps if she meets his thrust ...this seems to work best for both him and her...with man on bottom its hard to maintain a rhythm when both thrust ...just because of the mechanics of penetration
if he is trying to thrust upward he is lifting the woman which is tiring ..when she is on bottom she rises to meet his thrust ...when on top a guy typically supports his weight because of him being between your legs ...when a woman is on top he supports her weight because she is a straddle of him ..if he is bouncing up and down it dont take a very big woman for him to give out ... and psychologically he may know this from the start ...so he gives up to soon...even when the woman is on bottom she can lessen the work by sliding back and forth to meet his thrust ...but when on bottom his sliding will only cause it to slip out ...tell him to put his arms behind his head lay still and enjoy...it cant be that hard or should i say difficult
basically when he is on bottom he needs ti lie still ...when she is on bottom she needs to buck like a rodeo bull
when really horny this is the best position for me to control my finish....I like to time it and cum just as she finishes and falls forward onto my chest...and it may take ten minutes before either one of us can move | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:19:36 PM | Thanks both of you and todd I didn't think about how there might not be enough literal movement...Hmmm..
So basically when she was doing the slide you didn't feel stimulated?
K | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:29:42 PM | I can honestly say that I'm the last person you want to be asking this question too as I have NEVER gone soft when a Woman was on top of me.
edit: at least until after we were finished.... | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:35:32 PM | OP, as I guy I can think of several reasons, One the guy has a medical issues he is not aware of, or his has had to much to drink, or his mind is elsewhere, The last and I mean no disrespect, he is not into you..
all that said, again I have no clue, but I would not look at it as if it is your issue, and because it has been with 3 guys, you just may have experienced the worst luck ever..
Now I love a woman on top, just being with a woman I'm attracted to keeps me up,,and she can ride all night,, but I have had my moments where alcohol has had it's negative effect,, :(... but it happens,,
Oh, heart medications as well as others can also cause a negative effects, as some men get older,,  sucks to get old... | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:35:46 PM | | Wish I could help you with this...I love when a woman is on top, among many other positions. Each different position changes the angle of penetration and therefore [for me atleast] the stimulation and sensation..I love this position because you can have eye contact kiss easily, and also have access to her breasts with your hands or mouth and her tushy..Who doesn't love to squeeze a tushy as she slowly rides you? | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:36:58 PM | WoW! Deerdog reading your post got me me really turned on   
I think the 2 guys advice was really good. Whenever I'm riding my guy I tend to mix it up a bit -- moving back and forth, bouncing up & down on him , even adding a grind or two, oh ....and squatting on him with both feet on the bed. You might even want to give him some "visual" stimulation by playing with your breasts or something. Dirty talk might help too (who doesn't like that) Tell him to watch it going in and out. I guess just a mixture of things til you find out what turns him on in particular.
BTW: I think it takes a bit of technique to be a good "woman rider" --never had any complaints myself | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:41:38 PM | I have a few suggestions for you:
1) Try being on top with him sitting up, say on a sofa rather laying down in bed. Because of the weight and grinding of you being on top, it could literally cut off the blood flow.
2) Start out with you on top, working your way up to orgasm. Before you hit the high note, climb off and either masturbate him or fellate him until he is close to orgasm. Then, climb back on top and ride 'em to the finish line cowgirl!
My girl likes to be on top too and I find that because she is a little larger than average (hey, I'm not complaining!) if I am laying down, legs tightly together because she is straddling me, I lose a little firmness and need to change positions. We moved to doing this on the couch where I can grind into her and move my legs easier - it has made for some wonderful times!
Good luck! | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:50:03 PM | jjjjmdguy.... you said you lose a little firmness sometimes and moved to the couch. This is what I am speaking of, but why did that happen? B/c she cut off the blood supply? Or because she had your legs pushed together? So maybe the "he"s had their legs too close together?
I'll try the sitting up, switching up the movement types, playing with the breasts (should have thought of that), and remembering to tell him to thrust up and let me move....
There have been 3 he's with this...but one of the he's is new and current. And not the non-exclusive guy I've been w/for the last 3.5 months.... So this is good info for the next time I see him!
And I know it's not b/c he wasn't into me. Not being conceited or anything...he had no problem in other positions when he was the one in control and on top.
K | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:52:25 PM |
I think it takes a bit of technique to be a good "woman rider" --never had any complaints myself
That is so true,, but a good horse can also buck, raise his ass of the bed and hold it there,,and help in the ridding process,, he can extend the reins, buy extending his arms,, her holding on now she can lean back as she rides, and he bucks,,I don't know of any women who want to ride a dead horse,, she needs action,, | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:52:46 PM | | Its great that you get off that way!!! That said, you need to make sure to get into their heads, other one of course and make sure you are physically or mentally stimulating them also. I have no problem playing to a ladies orgasm as long as she is taking me for the ride. This may be a physical movement, for me its the "end points" in my ability to flex being reached gently but quickly or mentally, by keying in on either a turn on, such as breast play or kinks such as you being naughty by getting off that way, etc... Try asking them in advance when you are engaging in fore play, what trips their trigger and prepare to include it in the act. | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:53:35 PM | It's the motion you're providing. Because you're using a sliding back and forth position, as opposed to an up and down motion, you're likely not stimulating the penis, as Todd mentioned. I'm a fan of both, but both need to be applied to maintain an erection, in my case. So, mix it up a bit. Toss in a few other positions, too. He and you will likely enjoy alot of pleasure. Also, those gents you've been with should be a bit more vocal in what is turning them on, getting them excited, keeping them hard. That's part of sex - communication. You know that obviously, otherwise you wouldn't have asked.
Good luck! | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:56:08 PM | | Kaylie simply put it just means that type of position doesn't turn them on or hit the right spot for them, its most likely nothing your doing wrong. People just like things different ways...although on top is the best thats for sure | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:59:30 PM |
So basically when she was doing the slide you didn't feel stimulated?
I still feel stimulated but yes, there's a little less friction directly on the penis during the slide. However, I must say that Cowgirl is my favorite postion. I love seeing a woman on top of me and having control of her own orgasm. Plus, I'm a boob man and there's no better viewing position than cowgirl.
Also, as the above poster mentioned, you could actually be cutting off bloodflow too. Once again, though, simply alternating to up and down occasionally will allow the everything back into where it wants to be.
| |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:09:01 PM | | Yep, you are cutting off the blood flow. To correct this, just make sure he has enough room to spread his legs a little and if you are in bed, make sure he has plenty of pillows under his head and back propping him up. Also, if you lightly give his balls a stroke or better yet, play with his grundle, he'll not only keep his erection, he will most likely orgasm with you. | |
|
| |
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:20:15 PM | Tell ya what get on top while he is laying flat, and spin around real slow so eventually you are staring his feet down, grabbing his knees or ankles and his view of "you" will make Mount Vesuvius look like a bowl of pasta and sauce... ROFL
sorry getting horned up and hungry just typing this shyt 
p.s. Grundle is the prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville lol | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:21:18 PM | Many factors-my ex squeezed so hard that I had no choice but to think of mundane things in order not to come too quick-it always feels so good with somebody you love and care for---going too fast can be a factor (woman wise) as well- go slow, with lots of kissing, ti$ licking, caressing, etc....usually means a great cash explosion for both!!       | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:25:41 PM | Kellicat, what kind of experssion do you have on your face when "riding?" Try turning around and facing his feet, this will change the angle of your "equipment" and should stimulate you higher yet. Try small circular motions also. Are you "over lubricated?" Or, under lubed? I prefer a woman on top as I can control her easier by holding onto her hips. Sometimes I'll bring her right to the edge, again and again, then let her...! | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:27:46 PM |
p.s. Grundle is the prime piece of real estate located conveniently between Scrotumburg and Anusville lol
Ahhhh Soooo Grasshopper. AKA, the "Taint". Look at you, 23 and all grundled up. There's hope for our youth yet! 
I was afraid it was something like the gristly flesh between someone's toes but yea, that'll probably do it. | |
|
| |
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:50:32 PM | Yep, anyone who has been paying attention to your posts knows how you like cowgirl, Kaylie ;)
I think that it's been mentioned, but the "sliding" motion you mention is a less frictionally intense movement for the male, especially when he's wearing a condom.
Switch it up, take longer strokes for him, go back to sliding for half a minute, then pistoning, finally go for your orgasm, tell him that's what your doing, and the excitement should keep him hard.
Also, due to the mechanics of the slide, friction, skin, and (I'm assuming) latex, a female condom may provide more stimulation for him when you're doing your electric slide (boogie woogie!). It's more awkward to place than the conventional condom, but once in, the burden of friction transfer through the artificial membrane is placed on the woman. | |
|
| Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:55:32 PM | | Kaliecat...........I like to think of being on top like this. I figure it is a lot like riding horses........which I know a lot about. It's nice to just let the hips move to a flow of things and move as one.........but sometimes you need to grab tight and make your own. | |
|
Home
login 
