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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?      Home login  
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 sillysweetheartme
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 1
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?Page 1 of 1    
I enjoy going out, but after a date that I think went well, he doesn't talk to me anymore. This isn't the first time and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Ya I am kinda quiet at times, but I tell guys upfront. What am I missing?
 Schneizel
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 2
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 4:52:25 PM
What are you retarded? Just how is some stranger on the net supposed to reply to that w/o even knowing the details of what's been happening?

There could be a million reasons! Half of which may have nothing to do with you!
 Pair O Docs
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 3
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:02:46 PM
No you're not retarded. You're just experiencing the typical things that most everybody experiences. It's actually 'the norm'. Sad...but true. It's the way people are. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with YOU.... It just means that something didn't click between the two of you in the way that BOTH people thought it needed to click. There's also the possibility that you might not be the type that guys can spot as 'easy prey' to get into bed with after the first or second date. If that's the case.....then that's a GOOD thing.

You're a pretty girl.....and shy isn't always a bad thing. Just be yourself. Hang in there.
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 4
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:08:56 PM
Could you give any more details Silly? I noticed a nice Testimonial in your profile. Your attractive. Unless you laugh through your nose or something lol, Its hard to give you any advice from a guys point of view.
Happy Holidays,
Michael
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 5
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:32:20 PM
Im with Docs here- he is so very right.
It has happened to all of us here. Hey I have talked too and met
guys here when I first came that I still talk too. I met guys here that I thought
we had a great time together, spent the day together, blah blah blah never
to be heard from again. I used to think it was the friends thing because I wanted
no more than just coffee and chat but the ones who were here for long term
or to meet someone for more- they still talk to me and meet me for
coffee or dinner so its not that. I dont know what it is actually and
I like you thought it was me- I mean who wouldnt want to be life long friends with me?

But like Doc said- Something just didnt click -
Something for them I guess just wasnt what they thought it would be.
Hey - maybe he did you a favor. Maybe you were about to find out
he was a descendent of Ambassador Sarek and his wife Amanda Grayson.
 chrispickles
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 6
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:39:49 PM
mr. penis schneizel, show some respect for the woman.
 mattw357
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 7
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 5:57:16 PM
I think what you are doing wrong is simple...thinking you are doing something wrong. Two people meet, they either like each other or not. I'm sure there are specific things these men didn't like about you, but that is their prerogative and there is nothing you can do about it. Unless maybe if like you showed up with your hair and teeth unbrushed, it was just a matter of you not being the right one for them. Trying to find out the specific reasons they didn't dig you and then changing those things is not going to lead you to the person you want to be with. Keep meeting potentials and eventually one of those will turn into something. The ones that did't work out...it's just that simple- it didn't work out. Move on and rock out.
 october_fest
Joined: 10/8/2008
Msg: 8
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:00:38 PM
Just keep looking your attractive and nice pictures! your find someone soon I'm thinking.
 Wylie_Coyote
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:12:40 PM
[Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?]

I haven't met you. Why might I not want to talk to someone else after I meet them? I can answer that though.

First of all just because I found a deal breaker issue that has nothing to do with what other guys are looking for, We all have our own issues and only once have I seen someone list them on their page.

1. The sense of entitlement kills it for me. "I'm a girl and you open all the doors even in the rain and buy me everything and maybe, just maybe we can..."

2. Being mean to a server. We all make mistakes and if she gets pissy over a mistake made by a stranger than god forbid I can make one.

3. Not listening or not talking. Interrupting can be an issue if it's excessive. If she has nothing to say than I never get to know who she is and feel like she is hiding something. If she isn't listening to me I know that she couldn't care less what I'm saying and this needs no explanation. If you can't communicate thay you can't have a successful relationship.

4. Using hate phrases or racist words.

5. Talking about funny meetings with other people is okay because they can be really funny. Talking negatively about other meetings or past relationships sucks.

6. Answering your phone. Why is someone else important enough to be on OUR date? I leave mine in the car. I don't care if it's your kids or sick mother. If you can't handle an hour for dinner than you don't have enough spare time to be dating, end of #6.

7. We are just not on the same page or place in life. No connection or not enough of one.

8. Caught in a lie. Said something in an email or on the phone that was contradicted when we met.

9. False advertising. Pictures don't look like you, said you had a job in profile but now you don't or what ever. No one wants to be duped.

10. Ordering something really expensive (unless I told you to order anything), getting hammered, spending too much time in the bathroom (lets me know that you are on the phone), or even being in a big hurry to eat and run.

There are a ton of other things that can add up to stuff too. Body language, eye contact, posture, grooming habbits and so on.

The older we get the less games we are willing to play. I think of the list o crap that I typed is pretty main stream. Others might be more harsh and some less. On a first date we all try and put our best foot forward and make efforts to try and not offend our dates. Even when I find a deal breaker I don't get up and walk out. I just take it for what it is and try and make the best of the situation. There is no reason to tell the person I;m with that we aren't going to go out again. Just because I had an issue it isn't her fault. it's mine. I was the one that took issue.
 buzzjava
Joined: 11/7/2003
Msg: 10
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:23:24 PM
Why do most of my x girl friends want me dead?

Who knows

And the same go's for your question

but i'm going to say the same thing a lot of other ppl have been saying if there is no sparks there is no fire
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 11
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:36:14 PM
It may be your choice of types of guys you are going out with. Maybe they want a bit more on a first date, you don't supply it, they move on.
Try dating different kinds of guys.
Try older guys.
Try single dads.
Try stable guys that aren't into "hanging with their friends".
Try a geek! (definitly a winner there!)
Could be anything...check those previous posts though.. I saw a lot of good advise on a couple of them!
 skoochie
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 12
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:02:30 PM
Perhaps he realized that you are out of his league and feels he could never match up to you.
 Randy3512
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 13
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:11:18 PM
Guys have caught up with women on how to be more choosy with who we spend our time with. IMO, the whole dating plane has changed.


Ya I am kinda quiet at times, but I tell guys upfront. What am I missing?


I can only speak for myself here... If you are too quiet, I won't necessarily read that as you are not interested in me. I won't be interested in spending time with you. First meets need to have both parties looking to make a good first impression. This isn't just for the man to do anymore. JMHO.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 14
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:13:20 PM
I really cannot say for sure. The only thing I can see is that you put this on your profile:
I guess I introduce myself here. To start, I'm a pretty easy going person. I'm really into House on tv right now. Some other things I like to do are swimming in the pool, kayaking, and Sudoku puzzles.
That sounds quite intellectually challenging, like you are thinking all the time. But most people just don't like thinking that hard all the time, and certainly not when they don't have to.

Remember, men like SMART women, but few people like people whose brain is constantly whirring. They want to date, to take it easy. So, maybe you either need to ease off on the thinking on dates, OR date men who think a lot.

I could be completely wrong. But I'm clueless otherwise, so I'm just throwing this out there, and if it happens to click somewhere inside you, then maybe I've hit paydirt, and maybe I've helped you.
 Joseppi84
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 15
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:39:49 PM
It's hard to tell what the problem is without knowing how your dates go exactly. Well, you said you are shy. Sometimes that can cause it. I am kinda shy myself. I am not as shy as I use to be because it has cost me dates. If you are to shy on a date, and you are out with someone who is also shy, it can appear that you aren't interested. Just be yourself and remember that they are just as nervous as you, they just may not show it as much.
 ThumperNovember
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 16
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:50:24 PM
Number one answer is that you are not as attractive as your pictures.

Every guy on here will claim that "they" are above that but notice how nearly every post a guy makes here they re-affirm that you are attractive. Number one response here. The number two reason is personality.
 ForumStorm08
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 17
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Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 8:57:35 PM
Are you sending out a vibe that you aren't aware of?
Do you touch your dates, do your dates touch you or are
physical interactions non existent? (Outside your comfort zone)
Breath mints? (JUST KIDDING)
Eye Contact?

I wouldn't have a problem with dating someone that was on the
quieter side as long as I didn't feel like an interrogator. As a matter of fact,
my experiences have been that those that tend to be a bit more introspective
are better listeners. Good luck OP!
 LatentHeat
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 18
Why do guys stop talking to me after we meet?
Posted: 12/18/2008 9:58:23 PM
Could it be that you are too sweet? Speaking for myself, I'm no angel- I'd feel guilty dating one.
I suspect a lot of guys are the same; we can't envision "the bad" in you that many of us like so much.

I've been searching for the daughter
Of the devil himself
I've been searching for an angel in white
I've been waiting for a woman who's a little
Of both
And I can feel her but she's nowhere
In sight

One of these nights
-The Eagles-
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